Queer as folk: Alternate Universe
It's been two weeks since that first therapy session. Justin has been going to therapy three times a week. It's been helping, plus talking to Brian. He's been gaining more weight, and Brian found out why Justin hasn't been gaining the weight he should have.
After third therapy session
Saturday
Brian was looking through his drawers for a pair of socks when he felt something in the back. He pulled the drawer fully out and saw a bunch of food. The food that he brought home for Justin to eat. 'That's why he hasn't been gaining weight. He's been hiding all this fucking food!' Justin was in the shower so he couldn't hear Brian. Brian got all the food boxes and put them on the bed. He put the drawer back, got a pair of socks out and closed it. He took all the food and set it on the counter, in a pile. He counted the boxes and there were 12 boxes of food. There were 2 boxes of cookies, 2 boxes of crackers, 1 box of donuts, 3 boxes of sugary cereal, and the rest was cereal bars. (A/N: I just picked random foods so don't comment on it.) He couldn't believe it.
When Justin came out of the shower, he walked into the kitchen and saw Brian sitting at the counter. He walked over to him. "Hey."
"Hi." Brian sounded a little pissed off and annoyed.
"Is something wrong?" Justin hadn't noticed the boxes of food.
"Yeah. There is."
"What is it?"
"You already know."
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Just tell me."
"You hiding these fucking food boxes. That's what." Justin stomach sank. 'Damn it! How'd he find them?' "I can't believe you would hide food and pretend to be eating the food."
"I'm sorry okay. I just...I still felt really self conscious and that I would be gaining too much weight."
"Justin, you should have talked to me."
"I know. I'm sorry. I just couldn't."
"You'll eat the food now. Right?" It wasn't a question, it was more of a command.
"Yeah." He said it more as a question.
"You will."
"Okay."
Brian was laying in bed, thinking about that night and when Justin said he loved him. That's all he thought about. This kid loves me? If he could love, then I could, right? Right? He's had a way more horrible childhood and yet, he can love. I'm just gonna have to try. But I can't say it yet. This sounds really silly, even to me, but I'm just gonna have to practice. That's all I can do at the moment. Justin came back to the bedroom, from the couch where he was sketching. "Brian?" He asked when he saw Brian.
"Huh?" Brian asked, coming out of his thoughts.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I was just thinking. What were you sketching."
"Nothing...It's nothing." Justin was sort of stuttering and got all shy and nervous.
"Can I see?"
"No, that's okay."
"Let me see."
"Um..no."
"Come on. Just let me see it. It can't be that bad." Justin sighed. He knew he wasn't gonna win this. He handed over his sketch pad to Brian. He felt nervous and had butterflies in his stomach. Brian looked through all the pages. There were pages that weren't attached in the sketch pad. "These are very good," Brian said still flipping through the pages. They were all sketches of him alone and him with Justin. Half the sketches were of Brian alone in many different poses with different expressions and the other half of the sketches were of him and Justin. It obviously came from Justin's mind. Some of them together were of them, naked in bed; cuddling, making love, etc, and the others were that happened and some were what partly what happened and partly fantasy. After Brian was done looking at all of the sketches, he looked at Justin and told him, "These are very good. Why did you try and hide them?"
"I was...afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid...that you don't feel the same. I-I still do and that you would think its disgusting and that you wouldn't want me here anymore." Justin was looking the other way and crying by now.
"Justin, look at me." At first Justin was hesitant, but looked at Brian. "I could never think that. From just knowing you a couple months, I feel like I've known you my whole life." I sound so lesbionic right now, and the surprising part is, I don't care at all, Brian thought.
"Really?"
"Yes. I've told you all about me."
"You did, and I never understood why until now." Brian and Justin were both sitting on the bed, facing each other, their knees touching. Brian put his hand on the side of Justin's neck. They both wanted it. They wanted to kiss each other so fucking bad and make love/fuck. But, Justin just couldn't. He wanted to so bad, but he just couldn't. He pulled back. "What's wrong?" Brian asked concerned.
"Nothing."
"Don't bullshit me Justin. Tell me what's wrong."
"It's just... as you know, my father would sexually abuse me and I feel like I can't kiss. You probably think it's stupid." Justin started to get up, but Brian pulled him back.
"I don't think it's stupid. I understand why you're feeling what you're feeling. I don't want to push you, but I think you need to try. You could keeps your eyes open when we kiss, or close them, but think about me and how I'm the one kissing you. You think you could try?"
"I guess." Brian put his hand back on the side of Justin's neck.
A/N: I know I haven't written in a long time. I've been busy with school work and other issues. I know some of it seems random. My hands don't listen to my mind when I type and it comes out different than what's in my mind.