Lexi's phone rang.

"Hey Lex." Missy said.

"Hey Missy. You ok?"

"How's' your mum?" Missy asked softly.

"She's been better. But she's bathing the babies so she's out of her depression. Sort of anyway."

"Ok. I got you an appointment at a private doctors tomorrow." Missy told her.

"Aw thanks Miss."

"I'll meet you at Leopards Den." Missy said.

"I didn't think you wanted to see mum!" Lexi told her.

"Good point. I'll text you the details and I'll meet you at the doctors."

"Why don't I meet you at the hotel?" she hinted.

"Nice try Lex."

"I swear to you if you tell me where your staying I won't tell my mum!"

"Missy went silent.

"Or Shauna or Mrs Elliott either!" She said gaining her trust."

"You'd never break a promise to your Auntie Missy would ya?" Missy asked.

"Hey I'm like my dad…" Lexi went silent for a minute. "God I'd forgot for a while. How much of a rubbish daughter am I?"

"Lex." Missy said softly.

"Will I ever remember him without crying?"

"Of course Lex. Look I'm staying at the Marriott in Jo'burg. If you need me phone them and they'll patch you through. You know if you cant reach me on my mobie. I debated on going to Mara but I wouldn't give them custom. I have my loyalty to your mum still!"

"I'll see you there tomorrow them Missy."

"You promised Lex." Missy reminded her.

"Yeah I know Miss." she said and disconnected.

She had promised not to tell mum, or Shauna or Mrs Elliott. She smiled widely. But Liv could tell whoever she wanted! She giggled at her own deviousness.

(X)

Shauna was on the phone to James. Murmuring softly. Alice was just finishing a bedtime story to the twins. Mrs Elliott was reading in the living room. Alice walked into the living room. Sat next to her mum who put her arm around her. Alice felt like a child again and pretended this was her real mum hugging her like this. She wrapped her arms around her. Closed her eyes.

Liv and Lexi walked in the living room looking smug.

"I think Shauna and mum should go see Missy!" Lexi declared.

"We don't know where she is." Shauna said putting the phone down.

Lexi gestured to Liv.

"Marriott in Jo'burg." Liv declared.

"How did you find this out Lex?" Shauna asked.

She made a zip motion over her lips.

Shauna grinned. "Why you devious…God you have been around Miss too long!"

Lexi grinned back at them.

"I can't go I have the kids. I can't leave them." Alice said.

"Me, Liv and nana can look after them for an hour or two. Plus they are asleep for the night aren't they?"

Alice nodded.

"Well go then! I did the hard bit!" Lexi grumbled.

Shauna grabbed Alice and pulled her to the door. "What your mum is trying to say is thank you Lex."

"Your welcome." Lexi said graciously.

(X)

Alice and Shauna were driving to Jo'burg.

"Shauna this isn't the best of ideas. What if I put my foot in it again? What if what I say is worse? God she'll end up despising me!" Alice said sadly.

"We need this sorted Alice!"

"Shauna I can barely get myself sorted. How can I sort out all the rest of stuff. When I have no idea how I'm getting out of bed tomorrow!"

"Alice you'll find a way. You have got to carry on."

"I don't want to carry on. I've loved Danny since I was 15 years old. 21 years now. I know there's no one else out there for me so meeting someone new isn't a option. God I cane barely breathe with how much I miss him. I can barely even look at my kids coz they look and act so much like him. I feel like I don't want the reminders. Like if all traces of him were gone I could carry on but at the same time I want him everywhere surrounding me so I never forget a second of what we had, coz the thought of forgetting him makes me want to break down! And now to top it all the heartbreak and confusion I gotta find a way to make up with my best friend!"

They parked and paid for their spot. Walked to the reception and asked for Melissa's room number. They went up and Shauna noticed a cleaning trolley. Shauna looked around. Grabbed it. Walked to Missy's room. She made sure the trolley clattered.

"What you doing Shay you just stole a cleaning kart!" Alice hissed.

"Quiet!"

They knocked on Missy's door. Then held her nose.

"Yeah?" Missy said through the door.

"Room service." Shauna answered in a funny voice. Rattled the cart for effect.

The door was unlocked, "What? I didn't…" the door opened Missy dressed in a fluffy white dressing gown. "YOU!" she said to them and went to close the door. Shauna stopped it and Alice and Shauna walked inside.

"I'll get rid of that huh?" Shauna said and walked back outside. Missy went in the bathroom and changed into a pair of khaki shorts and a t-shirt. Then sat and grabbed her blackberry. Phoned someone.

"Lexi I will kill you for this. Traitor!"

She disconnected.

"Devious little witch!" Missy declared. As Shauna walked back in the room.

"She learned from the master Miss - YOU." Shauna chuckled. "If your wondering Liv told us after Lexi told her!"

"I know she just told me!"

"That's our Lex!" Alice murmured.

The 3 woman looked around.

"Your business must be doing well." Shauna commented.

"I'm actually going through an expansion. I'm needed at home."

"Look I'm abit of a third wheel." Shauna declared. "So why doesn't Alice start!"

Alice looked at Missy who was looking out of a window.

"Miss I dunno what to say to you!"

"I don't want you to say anything Alice."

"Missy." Shauna said.

"Shauna you don't understand!" Missy yelled.

"Well tell me. Make me understand!"

Missy looked at Alice, blinked then walked in the bathroom. Heard a tap running. She popped her head out.

"What you hear doesn't go beyond these walls Shauna." then closed the door.

Alice took a deep breath. "Look Shauna do you remember when we were 11. Missy went through a….. stage of being quiet and withdrawn?"

"Yeah when I asked she said she was fine. And she did perk up after a while. I thought she'd had her heart broken or something then got over it."

Alice shook her head. "Not quite. I spent a lot of time with Missy alone. Forced her to tell me the truth, what was really wrong. Her uncle. He…." Alice exhaled. "He'd been abusing her for 3 months."

"WHAT? Oh god. And she wasn't gonna tell no one?"

She shook her head. "Do you remember what it's like at that age? Feeling all awkward and stuff. He told her stuff like was wasn't attractive and horrible and ugly. She believed him. Threatened to go to her 7 year old sister if she said no. Then after the first few times he said she led him on and deserved it. Took me 2 weeks to get her to admit it to me. Whenever her mum and dad went out and her uncle babysat she stayed at mine. He didn't touch Ashley her younger sister I know that. He was obsessed with Miss though. I caught him with her nearly. She had just turned 12 and you were both staying at mine for a sleepover party thing. She took ages getting a bag. I walked upstairs and heard her crying. He was in there walking towards her she was backing away. He grabbed her as I walked in. Was pushing her coat off her shoulders. She was crying. Begging him no. He was saying he loved her and didn't mean to be so rough last time. He promised not to….." she exhaled. "He promised not to…bite her this time." she whispered distressed. Rubbed her face. "Anyway the look on her face I'll never forget it. Or his." Alice shuddered. "He saw me and backed away from her of course. Acted normal. I told him not to go near her again! He said it was just a friendly uncle hug he'd gave her. But his eyes as they looked at her were so sick as they ran over her body. I longed to hit him! She was stood there. Arms across her body looking at the floor. She'd pulled a baggy jumper on. He left and I telephoned her mum that night. After that Miss had her breakdown and was hospitalised."

Alice knocked on the bathroom door. Missy came out. Shauna went straight over and hugged her tight.

"O God Miss. How did you cope? You poor thing! You should have told us. We would have sorted this for you!"

She shrugged. "I was over it. Or I thought I was til Alice opened her mouth!"

Shauna frowned.

"She told me I'd love no one like she loved Danny. And no one would love me like that either. He used to say to me. You'll love no one like you'll love me and no one will love you like I do. I swear it was eerie how close it sounded. Thing was he was starting to convince me that I did love him. I mean he was doing all this stuff to me and I couldn't stop him. Was that love? I used to question."

I'm so sorry Missy. Please believe I'll never hurt you. "

"I know Alice. I've calmed down now. At first it was shock. Then it brought all the insecurities that I wasn't lovable. Plus I remembered that I'm here for you Alice. Forget the past we need to sort you out!"

"I'm sorta fine now. Hurting you woke me up to what I was doing." Alice told her.

Missy nodded and hugged Alice. "I'm sorry I was awful Alice."

"Me too." Alice replied.

Is what happened why you won't have kids?" Shauna asked.

"No yes. Look the reason why I was hospitalised wasn't coz I collapsed. I was pregnant. He found out somehow and petitioned the court to try and make me keep it so he could care for it. Of course the court wouldn't have let that happen but I didn't know that. Couldn't stand the thought of his child inside me. I had to get rid of it. I hated it so much. As much as I hated him. He wrote to me begging me to keep it. That we'd raise it together and be a family. He's seriously sick. He thought I was in love with him. Anyway I took a overdose. Had an abortion when I was in hospital. I won't have kids coz I got rid of that one an did don't wanna remember a bad time. And coz I'm happy with hew my life is. I don't feel maternal. I love your kids but can't picture having any of my own!"

Shauna and Alice hugged her tightly.

"I guess I'm the only one who didn't have a major trauma growing up huh?" Shauna asked. "At least we got each other to get through that stuff. Nothing kept you two down. We got to stay friends forever!" Shauna said.

Everyone agreed.

"So you coming back To Leopards Den Miss?" Alice asked.

"What about my luxury. My Jacuzzi"

Alice groaned. "O I miss my Jacuzzi me and Danny used…." she went silent. "This is hard, I mean he's been my whole life for 21 years and now he's gone!"

"It'll get better." Shauna said.

"Well I hope it never gets better in a way coz I don't ever wanna get over him I love him for eternity. I just miss him so much!"

The 3 woman hugged again tightly.

"You've always got us." Shauna whispered.

Missy looked at Shauna.

"Don't depress the poor girl. Like we're better. Well I am. Dunno bout you!"

Missy was out of serious mode and back to her playful self. Although the shadows remained. Reminders of the memories and emotions she kept locked inside.

"You know Miss you crack me up!" Shauna said sarcastically.

"I do try!" she feigned modesty.

They packed Missy's bag and made their way home.

A/N all bezzie m8's agen poor missy tho that was awful 2 write :'(

and alice of course is slightly better bt will she b fine in the morn or revert to depressed alice?