Once again, the night was a long one.
Jasper and Emmett had moved to the kitchen, and sat at the table for hours discussing strategy as to how best to handle the wolves. Esme and Carlisle had retired to their room. Rosalie and I sat with Bella, one of us on either side of her bed. Alice had also disappeared upstairs, suffering from another headache.
Bella had seemed to slip into a deeper sleep at one point, and her breathing had evened out as a result. Her heart rate was still too fast, but it had slowed somewhat in her slumber. The dripping of the IV was the loudest sound in the room now. I found it kind of soothing in a sense, its repetitiveness signaling that at least something was being done for her.
Rosalie stirred and glared at me every time I reached for my wife, to carefully take her hand, stroke her face or place gentle kisses on her clammy, pale skin. I ignored her. I decided I had enough on my plate already, I didn't need to add to it with anger for Rosalie.
It saved us an argument when Bella stirred, at a time when I wasn't actually touching her. Rosalie couldn't snarl at me for having woke her up.
"Edward?" she murmured in a voice still thick with sleep.
My dead heart leapt a little. I was still her first thought on waking, my name the first thing on her lips. I knew I shouldn't feel such joy at that after all I had done to her, but my reaction was automatic.
"I'm here, love," I replied quietly, taking her hand. I ignored the dirty look I got from Rosalie.
"Where am I?" She moved as if to sit up, but Rosalie gently restrained her.
"Easy, Bella. There's no need to move. You're fine," Rosalie said softly.
"Rose?" Bella blinked a few times and looked around. She lifted the hand that I was not holding and saw the IV taped to the back. "What's all this?"
"Carlisle's got you on an IV, love. You needed fluids, nutrients." I reached up to place my cool palm over her forehead, stroking her hair back from her face in a way I hoped felt soothing.
She glanced around again at the bed, the monitors. "Looks like there's more here than just an IV," she muttered, but was clearly too weak to argue about it.
After taking another moment or two to finish waking, she focused on my face. "You look terrible."
I couldn't help chuckling. "Thanks."
"When is the last time you hunted? Your eyes are pitch black."
"Don't worry about that, Bella."
Without moving her eyes from my face, she spoke to Rosalie. "Rose…would you mind leaving Edward and me alone for a moment? I need to talk to him." She knew there was no such thing as privacy in this house, but apparently found it easier to speak without Rosalie right in the same room.
I had a very strong feeling as to what she wanted to talk to me about. I was about to have the very human experience of being scolded by my spouse. At another time, in another context, it might have been kind of amusing.
Surprisingly, Rosalie didn't argue. She knew that if she drifted into the other room, she'd still be able to monitor exactly what was going on in here. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything," she told Bella, shot me a warning glare, and moved off to join Emmett and Jasper.
When Rosalie was gone, Bella continued to look at me in silence for a few moments. "I don't even know where to start…" she said finally, her voice soft. I could imagine that her throat was sore from vomiting so much. "This thing with Jacob?"
I nodded. Even without reading her thoughts, I knew that she was well aware of why I had done what I did. I wasn't sure what to say about it, either.
"I understand why you did it, Edward. But it still shocks me. I mean…I thought I told you, I thought I explained what this was about, that it wasn't just some sudden whim to become a mother." Her brow creased slightly with her frown. "Didn't you believe me?"
That was a difficult question to answer. I had heard and absorbed every word she had said to me about this topic, but I had been—and still was—desperate. "I didn't really think you'd take him up on it, Bella," I replied, just as quietly. "But I had to try and save your life. I don't know what else to do any more."
"Well, you can try to stop thinking that way, for one thing," she said. "I told you before. I'm going to survive this."
I didn't want to argue with her, to tell her that she wouldn't. It was the opposite of helpful. I wasn't practiced in bedside manner, but even I knew that one shouldn't say such things to the patient.
"Edward…I know you're scared. As I said, I'm not an idiot, I'm scared, too. But we both have to believe. It's going to be worth it, I know it is." I cringed when I saw the effort it took for her to lift her hand from the bed and run it through my hair.
I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth uselessly, and she put a finger over my lips. "It's okay. I know. You don't have to say anything else." She paused for a few seconds, then smiled. It brought some of the light back into her eyes. "I love you, you know. I love you so much it's indecent."
"Too much," I replied simply. "Far too much." As always, it made my heart swell with joy to hear it, but it was what had brought this situation to be. If she had never loved me, if I'd been strong enough to stay away from the beginning…if, if, if…It was a mantra in my head, torturing me.
"There's no such thing as too much." Her hand moved to cover her mouth as she yawned. "Oh. Excuse me."
I looked her over carefully now, assessing. Her hair still hung in limp, sweaty strings and her skin was still pale and clammy. She still had circles under her eyes, despite the hours of sleep. But somehow she seemed infinitesimally better. Perhaps the IV was helping, at least a little.
"You're still tired. You should go back to sleep," I told her.
"I'm going to get bed sores from being flat on my back all the time. I feel like all I do is sleep and watch you mope."
I couldn't help a chuckle. "I'm sorry, love. I should have better control of myself."
"I might agree with that, except that I'd probably be in the same state if our positions were reversed. I know you love me, too." She smiled again, and I was grateful for even the small improvement it made in her appearance. She looked more like her old self and less of a mask of pain and physical deterioration.
"That is the understatement of the millennium." I said simply. The love overwhelmed me, crushed me. I couldn't find the words, as much as I wanted to at that moment.
She glanced at the small bed under her. "I don't suppose there's room for a vampire in this thing, is there? I know I take up an awful lot of space right now, but…"
I didn't have to be asked twice.
Carefully, but so quickly she didn't even see what was happening, I climbed onto the mattress next to her and pulled her into my arms, ensuring a layer of blankets would keep her from getting a chill. She threw her right arm over my chest and snuggled her head into my hard shoulder, breathing out a contented sigh. I stroked her cheek and started to hum her lullaby, hoping she would fall back to sleep.
She was quiet for a few moments. "Where is everyone else?" she asked eventually.
I hesitated, still humming. I was torn between not telling her what was happening with the pack so as not to upset her, and telling her so that she wouldn't find out later and be angry no one had said anything. Keeping things from her had never been the best choice in the past.
"Well…" I began carefully, choosing my words and half-hoping she'd fall back asleep before I had to finish the story. "Carlisle, Esme and Alice are upstairs. The others are in the kitchen, talking."
"Talking about what? Not me, I hope. They must be getting sick to death of me."
"Of course they aren't getting sick of you. But no, that's not the subject at the moment."
She heard something in my tone, and twisted her neck so she could look at my face. "What is it then? Has something happened?"
Her eyes were searching, measuring my response, ready to assess whether I was telling her the truth.
I sighed. There was no getting around this. "It's the wolf pack, Bella. There's been a disagreement, and Jacob and Seth have broken away from the others."
She paled as she took that in, obviously trying to determine its meaning. "It's because of me, isn't it?" she asked finally. "I mean, I know everything in the universe isn't about me, but in this case, if Jacob and Seth have had a falling out with Sam and the others and the family here is sitting around discussing it, it must have something to do with me and the baby. It's the only thing that's changed recently."
Like that, the small improvement I thought I had seen with her smile evaporated in a puff of invisible smoke. Her heart rate had increased again and the lack of colour in her cheeks made her look as sick as she had this afternoon, before the IV. I ground my teeth together to keep back the fury. Most of it was directed at myself anyway. If, if, if…
"They don't understand," I managed to say through a clenched jaw. "They perceive the…fetus as a threat."
"And they want to neutralize the threat." Her voice was flat, clinical. It was chilling to hear her say something so horrible in such a detached way. When I didn't answer her, she merely sighed and lowered her head back to my shoulder. I was shocked that she was taking the news so quietly. It would have been more typical of her to try and leap up from the bed so she could take action, any action.
Frankly, it scared me. This was a very un-Bella reaction to a situation that negatively affected the people she loved. Was she so far gone, so weak she couldn't even make an attempt to do something?
As if reading my thoughts, she spoke again, quietly. "It sucks, Edward. Everyone I love is in jeopardy. But there's nothing I can do about it." She hesitated for a brief moment. "Well, nothing I will do about it. I won't do that. I know I'm doing the right thing, here. I know it."
"You don't have to be afraid, Bella. We'll protect you. And Jacob and Seth don't think the pack will do anything against us without their help." The last part was a bit of a white lie, but a small one.
"It's going to be worth it, Edward. I promise you it is," she murmured.
As I watched sleep overtake her, I did something that I hadn't done since I was human – something that I had no right to do: I prayed. I prayed that she would be right.
* * *
I was still in the same spot, crammed into the little bed with Bella asleep against me, when the sun rose the next morning. Rosalie had returned to the living room hours before and was nearby, on the couch flipping through a magazine. Having done as much strategizing as they thought they could, Jasper and Emmett had left the kitchen and were elsewhere in the house.
Rosalie and I both straightened when we heard a distant howl: it was clearly one of the wolves. Was the pack on the way?
Emmett suddenly appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "Was that what I think it was?"
Edward, it's me! Sorry, man, that howl was just me, no one's coming! Seth Clearwater was on his way from the forest to the house, still in wolf form.
"Seth is coming. It was another false alarm," I said, and carefully dislodged myself from Bella so I could get up and go to the front window. Within moments, the huge wolf careened into the front yard.
Did you hear me? It was just me. Leah came, my stupid sister. She broke away from the pack, too!
Wonderful. We were the cause of yet more dissension.
No, I was the cause of yet more dissension, I corrected myself.
I nodded at Seth to show him I understood the message.
Wow, he looks bad, he thought as he looked at me. I saw my face in his mind: drawn, tense, the skin under my eyes nearly purple from prolonged thirst.
Dead. I looked dead.
I didn't care.
Satisfied Seth knew I had heard him, I turned to go back to the living room. The whole family was there now, murmuring quietly amongst themselves so as not to wake Bella, who was still fast asleep.
Jasper looked at me expectantly. "What did Seth say?"
"Just that it was a false alarm. And that his sister Leah had joined them."
"Joined them?" Jasper repeated. "Joined Seth and Jacob?"
"Apparently."
"Well, that's good news. It means the pack is down another wolf," Emmett said, but couldn't hide his internal disappointment from me. As usual, he was itching for the fight.
"Did Seth say if Leah told them anything else about the pack's plans right now?" Carlisle asked over his shoulder as he checked monitors and made notes on a clipboard he was using as a chart for Bella.
"No."
Carlisle turned from his work and gave both Jasper and Emmett long looks. "We will take no action unless they attack."
"Carlisle!" Rosalie was the one to protest first. "We can just sit here like targets waiting for them to make the first move! Didn't Bella's dog and that other one say that they're no longer connected to the rest of the pack, so they don't know what the pack is up to?"
"We're not going to be the ones to break the truce, Rose," Carlisle told her simply. "Obviously, we will do whatever is necessary to protect Bella, but we aren't going to be the aggressors."
"Well, I think that's insane. We…" she started to argue.
"I'll hear them coming, Rosalie," I interrupted. I was getting sick of the sound of her voice. "And Jacob, Seth and Leah will continue patrolling around the house. They'll be able to warn us, too. We won't be caught off guard."
She sniffed at me derisively. "I would have thought you would be the first person wanting to deal with them once and for all."
"Whatever issues I have with Jacob Black don't mean that I feel like starting a war. I have enough to worry about," I snapped.
"Besides, Rose, Bella wouldn't like it. I thought you were all about her comfort right now," Alice added. Good one, Alice, I thought, shooting her a grateful glance.
"I'm all about her safety even more. Hers and the baby's," Rosalie retorted.
I felt my teeth grind together almost of their own volition. It was one thing when Bella referred to the monster as a 'baby', but it was another altogether when one of the others did, especially Rosalie. I still wasn't buying that this newfound interest she had in Bella wasn't primarily a selfish one.
Carlisle saw me open my mouth, ready to release some pent-up frustration by tearing into Rosalie, and put a hand on my shoulder to restrain me. "It's been decided," he said simply, glancing at each vampire in turn. He seldom made unilateral decisions as leader of the family and imposed them without discussion, but this was a matter about which he felt particularly strident. No one would oppose him.
As if to signify that that subject was closed, Carlisle returned to his clipboard to scratch a few final notes, then changed the subject. "I think the IV is helping, at least a little," he advised. "It keeps her hydrated somewhat. I'd still like to see her keep down some actual food, but I just don't know if she'll be able to at this point."
"Maybe soup or something light? Clear broth?" Esme asked hopefully. "I'll make anything. We can try whatever you think might work."
I absorbed my adoptive mother's earnest expression. I had been so preoccupied with everything else, I hadn't noticed how her motherly instincts had kicked into overdrive. She had been trying to maintain a respectful distance, but she was desperate to help the one of her brood who was weak and ill. The realization made me feel profoundly thankful. All of my family…they had each stepped up and were ready to do whatever was necessary to protect or take care of Bella, at any cost to themselves or the others they loved.
The situation at hand was critical, but Bella and I were still lucky. We weren't left to deal with it alone.
I was about to try and find the words to thank them, but Bella distracted us all by suddenly murmuring my name. She was waking up again.
"Yes, love, I'm here," I was at her side in an instant, carefully taking her hand in mine. Something grouchy rumbled through Rosalie's mind at my sudden movement, but it really was becoming easier and easier to ignore her.
Bella blinked several times and looked around the bed at the seven vampires gazing back at her, concerned, expectant, waiting to hear what she would have to say.
"Hmm. I'm not sure I like being parked in the middle of the house like this. I'm used to an audience while I sleep, but usually a smaller one."
We all smiled at her joke. I bent to kiss her forehead softly. It was less clammy than it had been, but it was still obvious that she was terribly unwell.
"How are you feeling, Bella?" Carlisle asked, leaning close to look at her pupils.
"Okay, I think." She stretched a little as though testing herself. "Hungry. But I don't think I can stand to throw up any more." She wrinkled her nose at the memory and rubbed her throat, which I assumed was quite raw from the retching.
"I'm going to make you some soup, Bella," Esme said, stepping up to the bed to squeeze her hand. "Something light you can hopefully keep down."
"Thank you, Esme." Bella turned to Rosalie. "Rose, I don't suppose I could bother you for some water?"
"Of course, Bella." Rosalie vanished to the kitchen without hesitation. At least she was making herself useful. Esme and Emmett followed after her.
Alice, meanwhile, had her eyes squeezed shut and was lightly rubbing her forehead. Jasper had a hand on her shoulder and was watching her with concern. "I'm going to take Alice upstairs to lie down," he murmured softly. Alice opened her mouth to protest, but he had already effortlessly swung her into his arms and was halfway up the stairs to their bedroom.
Bella frowned as she watched them disappear. "Carlisle, do you know why Alice is getting the headaches?"
He sighed in response. "Unfortunately not. So much of this is a mystery, but her gift in particular is beyond scientific understanding, I'm afraid."
"She'll be fine, love. Don't worry about her. In fact, I…" I hesitated mid-sentence, distracted by another mental voice approaching.
Carlisle noticed the expression on my face immediately. "What's up, son?"
"It's Jacob Black. He's on his way to the house right now to talk. In his human form." I was profoundly grateful to Jacob for everything he had done so far, but I wasn't particularly in need of another conversation with him adding to the blame and misery I already felt. There was no doubt I deserved it, but it took away from the precious time I had with Bella, especially when she was awake.
"I'll go see what he has to say. You stay here." I know you want to be with Bella, son, he added.
"Thank you, Carlisle." I managed a small, grateful smile.
"If he wants to see me, he can come in," Bella said, then glanced at me. "If you don't mind, of course."
"Whatever you want, love," I told her. While the idea of Jacob hanging around Bella some more certainly didn't thrill me, I wasn't about to deny her anything she wanted at this point.
Rosalie returned with a large glass of water and a cup of pale-looking tea as Carlisle headed for the front door. Although Bella could not, the rest of us could easily follow Carlisle's conversation with Jacob from here, and I could follow their thoughts as well.
Jacob was shaken when he saw that it was Carlisle who exited the house to greet him, and that Carlisle looked grim—under stress and perhaps paler than usual. I winced at the force with which Carlisle's appearance struck Jacob and made him fear the very worst: that Bella was already dead. Even the thought crossing the mind of another made my stomach heave violently. I sank into one of the chairs next to Bella's bed and let my forehead come to rest against the mattress. She said nothing, but I felt her hand in my hair, gently stroking the back of my scalp.
Once again, she was trying to make me feel better. My weakness made me feel even worse. I hadn't thought it possible.
As Carlisle and Jacob talked outside, I heard Jacob ask Carlisle the obvious question: whether he thought Bella had any chance of surviving this. I already knew Carlisle's answer. He had hope, but he was realistic. As he explained to Jacob, vampire venom could work miracles, but even it had its limitations. Bella's heart had to keep beating throughout, and it was already erratic, sometimes pounding too fast, other times seeming to skip and falter. I had always been attuned to her heartbeat, since the earliest days of our acquaintance. I used it as my guide to discern what she was feeling at any given time, since her mind remained silent to me. Now it was a constant reminder of the precarious state of her health.
Carlisle went on to explain that the main issue was the fact that he couldn't figure out a way to get Bella the nutrition both she and the fetus (I was silently grateful that at least Carlisle rarely referred to it as a baby) desperately needed. While the IV was helping her stay a little more hydrated than she had been, he didn't think it was doing much of a job of feeding her.
I lifted my head to glance up at Bella, cautiously trying to sip from the cup of tea Rosalie held to her lips. From this angle, she looked like she'd spent time in a prison camp.
I muffled a groan into the mattress.
Waves of rage were rolling off of Jacob now, his thoughts a muddle of anger and hatred—toward me, toward the thing that was slowly starving Bella to death.
He and I had finally found something we could agree on.
Not even born yet…already a killer…sucking the very life out of her…just like its father…a bloodsucker…already wants nothing but destruction. Death and blood, blood and death. That's all it wants.
He felt about the creature exactly as I did. It may not be literally sucking her blood, but it was certainly draining her of her life.
Blood…I thought dully, letting the self-loathing wrap around me. This existence had always been about the blood. Taking blood, living by stealing the lives of others. Despite all I had done to resist drinking Bella's blood, the end result would be the same: her life force would be slowly drawn out of her, bit by painful bit, drawn out by a monster of my own creation.
The creature was like its father, indeed. It had to steal life to survive.
I lifted my head sharply.
Was that it?
Was that the answer?
Death and blood, blood and death.
If it were its father's creation, like its father…
My mind was whirring as I half-listened to Carlisle explain genetics to Jacob, the fact that humans had only 23 chromosomal pairs whereas vampires had 25, that he had thought it meant we were actually different species, unable to procreate, that he hadn't known to warn us…things I had discussed with him previously, again and again as we tried to figure something, anything out about this creature that might help us treat Bella.
What if it had inherited the need for blood from its father?
I got up out of my chair and leaned over to kiss Bella's forehead, stroking her fevered skin with the backs of my fingers in an attempt to cool her down a little. "I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment." Rosalie was looking at me from her place in the chair on the other side of the bed, suspicious as always about what I was up to. "Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?" As much as it annoyed me, I knew she would have to be in on this plan if we were going to convince Bella.
"What is it, Edward?" Bella asked, her voice still raspy.
"Nothing you need to worry about, love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?"
Rosalie scowled a little, her suspicions increasing, but she figured that as long as she had both Carlisle and me in her sight, we could do no damage. "Esme?" she called. "Can you mind Bella for me?"
"Of course," Esme replied, already floating into the room.
Rosalie followed me out onto the front porch. Both Carlisle and Jacob were looking up at us expectantly from where they sat on the stairs, leaning against the railings. I was vaguely aware that they were surprised by the expression on my face—determined, focused now rather than haunted and tormented.
"Carlisle…" I began, still thinking this idea through.
"What is it, Edward?"
"Perhaps we've been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the…" I restrained myself from using the word 'creature', "…fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought."
Jacob's brow creased as he tried to remember what he had thought, other than about how much he hated me and hated the creature killing Bella.
"We haven't actually addressed that angle," I explained. "We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the…fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively."
"I'm not following you, Edward," Carlisle said.
"Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves—what it's not getting? Jacob did."
Both Jacob and Carlisle grasped what I was saying at the same time. "Oh," Carlisle's eyes widened as he thought that through. "You think it is…thirsty?"
Yes! Rosalie was triumphant. She hissed enthusiastically. "Of course! Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea."
"Hmm." Carlisle thought that over for a moment. "I wonder…And then, what would be the best way to administer…" He was trying to think of a way around the fact that the placenta was like marble. How could he get blood through to the fetus?
Rosalie shook her head. "We don't have time to be creative. I'd say we should start with the traditional way."
I agreed, but wondered how Bella might feel about it.
Jacob had the same thought. "Wait a minute," he whispered, clearly revolted. "Just hold on. Are you—are you talking about making Bella drink blood?"
Rosalie scowled in his general direction. "It was your idea, dog."
Jacob ignored her and looked hard at Carlisle. For whatever reason, he trusted Carlisle's judgment, but was having a hard time believing Carlisle would agree with something he found so thoroughly disgusting.
"That's just…" he faltered, unable to find the right word.
"Monstrous?" I suggested. That was certainly the word that came to my mind when I thought of my soft, fragile human wife being handed a large glass of human blood. "Repulsive?"
"Pretty much."
"But what if it helps her?" I asked quietly. Wasn't that the most important thing to all of us? No matter how…wrong the notion might seem?
Jacob shook his head vehemently. "What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?"
"I plan to ask her what she thinks," I answered simply. "I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first."
Rosalie nodded. "If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube."
Jacob's eyes narrowed at Rosalie as he realized that her newfound 'affection' for Bella was rooted in this pregnancy. Is Rosalie after the kid? he thought with disdain.
I nodded once. Yes, that was it exactly. And just as Jacob envisioned Rosalie shoving a tube down Bella's throat to administer the blood, I felt my teeth clench and my expression tighten. He had assessed the situation perfectly.
"Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this," Rosalie said impatiently. "What do you think, Carlisle? Can we try?"
Carlisle took a deep breath, and then he was on his feet. "We'll ask Bella."
He led the way inside the house, and the rest of us followed.
The other members of our family were already at Bella's bedside, having heard the plan we had been discussing outside. Bella was the only one still in the dark, and she looked up at us from her bed tiredly. The effort of being awake the past half hour was already wearing on her.
"What's going on?" she asked suspiciously. I couldn't blame her: she could tell from our expressions that the rest of us were in on something she wasn't yet privy to.
Carlisle took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Jacob had an idea that might help you." I saw Jacob flinch from the corner of my eye. He wasn't interested in getting the credit for this one. "It won't be…pleasant, but—"
"But it will help the baby," Rosalie interrupted eagerly. "We've thought of a better way to feed him. Maybe."
Bella's eyes lit up ever so slightly at the idea of something that might help. She managed a weak chuckle. "Not pleasant? Gosh, that'll be such a change." She looked at the IV needle in her arm meaningfully.
Rosalie laughed lightly, but I was still far from finding the situation amusing. I stepped around her and took the hand that Carlisle had just released. Previously clammy, now her fingers were cold. "Bella, love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous." Even more monstrous than marrying a vampire. Than having sex with a vampire. Than becoming pregnant with some kind of hybrid vampire demon spawn. "Repulsive."
She inhaled noisily. "How bad?"
"We think the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than to yours," Carlisle answered. "We think it's thirsty."
Bella blinked, having caught his meaning immediately. Unlike Jacob, she was so used to our world that it wasn't difficult for that idea to occur to her. "Oh. Oh."
"Your condition—both of your conditions—are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with more palatable ways to do this," Carlisle continued. "The fastest way to test the theory—"
"I've got to drink it," she whispered. Again, it had not been much of a leap for her to figure out where he had been going.
Her nod was immediate, unhesitating.
"I can do that. Practice for the future, right?" she smiled weakly at me.
Rosalie was already tapping her toe impatiently.
"So, who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Bella asked softly.
Carlisle and I glanced at each other. Rosalie's toe ceased moving.
Apparently what Bella was used to was the way the Cullens lived. Her mind had gone automatically to animal blood, not human blood.
"What?" she asked, looking from my face to Carlisle's to Rosalie's.
"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella," Carlisle said.
"If the fetus is craving blood," I added, "it's not craving animal blood." Monstrous. Repulsive. Monstrous. Repulsive. It made me feel nauseous to have to suggest it to a warm, living human…especially this warm, living human, no matter how bad her condition had become.
I had never felt so alien.
"It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it," Rosalie said quickly.
Bella's eyes widened as she thought that over. "Who?" she whispered, darting her eyes toward Jacob.
"I'm not here as a donor, Bella," he grumbled, noticing her eyes on him. "'Sides, it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies—"
"We have blood on hand," Rosalie interrupted, unable to conceal her contempt for Jacob. "For you—just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better."
Bella rubbed her distended stomach. "Well," she rasped, "I'm starving, so I'll be he is, too. Let's go for it. My first vampire act."
Once again, unconditional acceptance.
There was no way I deserved it.