Lexi sat on the veranda a minute later still foaming. Why did he have to come back? She was fine and then he showed up and dragged up painful memories that were best left alone! And of course as soon as she seen him her emotions went haywire turning her into a freaking maniac. A screaming banshee!

She crossed her arms. Told herself not to feel guilty about what she said to him. He left you Lex. Anything you say is well deserved and overdue! Her conscience won. She shouldn't have told him like that. She shouldn't have blamed him and she shouldn't have compared him to his dad. He just got her so angry. Like he was so superior. The look in his eyes. And then criticizing her relationship. She wanted to lash out and hurt him and that's how she did it. She walked in the direction of the way he'd walked. Noticed him sat in front a wooden cross. Looking shell shocked. Looking upset. And another emotion she couldn't identify. Actually she could, it looked a lot like guilt. His face was pained.

She approached him slowly. Sat beside him.

"He died the same day I left." he stated throat thick with emotion.

She nodded.

"How?"

"Plane crash." she replied softly.

He looked at her. Eyes glistening. "What was he doing on a plane?"

"Your solicitor wanted to talk to you about speaking at your dads hearing. They said if you were there he'd probably stay in. My dad couldn't find you so he went to speak on your behalf. Plane went down 2 miles out of Bristol. No survivors."

"So it was my fault." he murmured to himself.

"No it wasn't Ethan. No one blames you. Especially not me. You just hurt me when you leaving and then suddenly reappearing again. And what's the first thing we did when we saw each other again? We argue. I jut wanted to hurt you too!"

"The fact remains…." he started. Wiping tears with the back of his hand.

"If you think like that it could be anyone's fault! My mums and dads for moving here. My dads for getting you into boxing so you were away. Mine for arguing with you sending you away... Forcing you to stay away."

He sat quietly.

"I never did find out if you won that fight." she said. "I'm sure dad wants to know too."

He nodded. "I won. In a minute. Lost it completely. Started on the other teams trainer. Even Thabo. I went a little insane. Fists flying everywhere."

"You found out about your dad's possible release then?"

"Messed me up big style. The only reason I wasn't on that flight to Bristol with your dad is coz I missed it by 10 minutes. The flight was taking off. I swore kicked off everything. They nearly ejected me from the airport I was ranting so bad!"

She gasped. Covered her mouth with her hand and without thinking grabbed him in a hug.

"God I nearly lost you." she whispered. Then realised who she was hugging and let go. Brought up a sore subject to cool her feelings.

"So is that why you - you know?"

"Partly. You also rang saying we were broke up. Not that I'm making excuses. I swear I loved you but it was a tough time for me. I had to get away. I got drunk in a bar. Woke up the next morning next to this random girl I felt ill when I realised what I had done to you!"

Lexi felt a pain when he said love in the past tense. Then berated herself mentally.

"How about we call a truce?"

He nodded. "I'd like that."

She stood up. "Regardless of our past I'm happy that your ok. And that you missed that flight." she looked down and saw the scar on his neck. "What's that?"

He covered it with his hand. Jumped up till he was standing.

"Nothing!"

"It looked nasty." took a step towards him. "Like you'd been bu…."

"I said nothing Lexi OK!" he yelled and stomped away leaving her standing there shocked at his outburst.

(X)

Ethan found Alice in her surgery. It was 10 o'clock.

After Lexi had noticed his scar he had walked for a long time. Fighting the panic he felt. He had no defences around her and she could easily get him to spill his guts. He hoped she'd have changed but she was still the same compassionate soul. With s smile for anyone. Except him.

Alice noticed him and waved.

"Kids at school?" he asked.

She nodded. "Look son, you need to sit down. It's about Danny." she started. Alice wasn't looking forward to this.

"Don't worry Alice. I know. I spoke to Lex. She told he how and when. And why he was away. I'm so sorry Alice!" he said full of guilt for what he had taken away from her. "If I'd been here he wouldn't have had to go and he'd still be here."

"Ethan don't think like that. Chances are he would have went with you and I would have lost both of you. In a way it's a good thing you were gone."

"I know but I left you when you needed me. We should have been together. A family."

"Don't think about it Ethan. I can't say I'm over it, coz I love him and always will. I still miss him but it's like a dull ache now as at first it was like a open wound." Alice changed the subject before he could berate himself further. "So where's my boy been then?"

"New Zealand."

"Explains your golden tan then. Haven't they got this thing where you can only stay there up to 18 months on a temporary visa?"

"Usually but I helped someone who helped me get my citizenship."

She nodded and sorted medication.

"So what did you do with your 5 years?" she asked handing him the jars to put away after she counted out pills.

"I was a volunteer firefighter. Studied physchology too. I'm a qualified therapist. I mostly wanna work with kids though. Did an extra year to specialise in children"

"Wow you have been busy firefighter and therapist. I'm really proud of you son."

He smiled at her tone. "I just needed to help people you know, prove to myself that I wasn't like him. Doing the degree helped me to settle a lot of my past resentments and hang ups. Like I used to swear that I'd never have kids. I was gonna break the cycle. But I realised that I already have broken the cycle."

She looked at him with every word he said her pride grew. "Your great you know. You'll be a great dad one day. And your nothing like him. You have never have been and never will!"

He nodded. "Thanks."

"So how long were you a firefighter?"

"4 and half years."

She walked over and hugged him as she finished dispensing medication. He hugged her back tightly. "It's just amazing having you home again son. Brilliant seeing you. You look great. Really healthy too!"

He thought about how healthy he looked now. How great he looked. It hadn't been like that when he first went over there. He'd been well over his head. New country. Didn't know a soul. Didn't even have a place to sleep. He hadn't thought it through. All that had changed though when he met Natalie.

"Do you mind if I invite my friend from New Zealand down. Her names Natalie. She might even bring her kids. Chase and Bonnie. Bonnie is nearly 4 and Chase is one."

"No bother son. I'll sort a hut for her."

"Thank you Alice."

"How long you planning on staying Ethan?"

He looked pensive. "To be honest I have no idea. I had unfinished business but I spoke to Lex. And I know your all fine. Well except…I thought I'd dealt with stuff but I haven't. and I can't have Lexi's new relationship in my face. I thought I was over it but I guess I'm not!"

"New relationship?" Alice questioned.

"O so you don't know? I'll be quiet then!" Ethan said.

"Do me a favour son. Next time your gonna leave let me know in advance. Don't just go. It was hard just having you up and leave. I was worried sick about you!"

"I'm really sorry about that. So what have I missed out on this end?" he asked enthusiastically.

(X)

Lexi walked towards the house. Angry again. Why did he always stir such intense emotions within her. What was wrong with him? Feeling angry and full of rage all the time wasn't fair to her. And having him talk to her like that wasn't fair either. She hadn't done anything wrong all she asked was a stupid question and he kicks off! Stupid Ethan! She thought about how he had changed. he was slightly taller and his face was thinner. He looked older, harder and infinitely more attractive. His eyes no longer sparkled with their usual playful light. A part of her longed to put that sparkle back. She squashed these thoughts. Sparking eyes and attractive Ethan. Remember Lexi he left you behind. You and your unborn child. Didn't phone write or email. Acted like you meant nothing. Like he had dropped off the face of the earth. All those things hadn't stopped her responding to him. When she first saw him her palms had started to sweat and her heart beat staccato. He'd had a little half grin as Evan had walked away and the sight of it made her heart beat faster. She'd never reacted to anyone in that way before. The thing was he hadn't changed so much that she was afraid of him. It was how she felt like she could goad him in the way she did. He'd never hurt her physically of that she as certain. Now emotionally he'd never get that close again. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts of Ethan she walked right passed Evan on the veranda and right into her room. Hadn't even noticed him there. He followed her and knocked on her door. She opened the door.

"Hello Lex."

"Hey Ev." she kissed his cheek.

"Everything go ok with Ethan?"

"Yeah. Although I was nasty to him and had to apologise."

She pulled her green paramedics suit on top of her shorts and t-shirt. Zipped it up. Straightened the Trevanion name sewed on.

"You look good. Green suits you." Evan said.

She smiled. "Thanks Evan.

I gotta get going. Gonna see mum then off to work. Finish at 10 tonight."

"You wanna come back to mine?" he asked.

"Maybe tomorrow huh?"

They walked from her room stood on the veranda. She walked into his arms. "How about you cook me a fancy meal after work tomorrow." she murmured and kissed him softly. His arms loosely around her waist.

"I think I could be persuaded." he said.

"I think I could persuade you!" she whispered.

Tickled him.

"Lex, I'm not ticklish!" he grinned evilly.

"Damn!" he tickled her sides and she wiggled all over trying to get away laughing wildly.

He stopped. And they shared a passionate kiss. Someone saw them. Ethan was walking up towards the house and saw Lexi laughing and then kissing Evan. God couldn't they get a room? He thought angrily. His face twisted with disgust. She did this deliberately. Not that he cared of course. He didn't acknowledge them just walked passed them head looking straight ahead. Walked in his room. Put on a old CD and rang Natalie. She told him she'd bring his stuff over straight away. Chase and Bonnie would be visiting her aunt in Jo'burg. He loved Natalie but that love was sisterly. She was the only one who knew what happened to his neck. Although she didn't know exactly how it happened. She was there. It was staying that way too. He wished his feelings for Natalie ran deeper. She was funny gorgeous clever and he loved her kids to bits but it just wasn't there. Never had been. He had loved one person his whole life now he was over her he didn't know how to fall in love again. He was doomed to be alone forever!

A/N ok ethan knows about danny :( he is also jealous about the lex/ev relationship but is denying it. and i also think lex feels a tiny spark of feeling for ethan too. oooo trouble is brewing :/