Okay, not much happens in this chapter; Penny gives Howard advice on being a creep…that's pretty much it! There will be one or two more chapters after this.

"There's a nice view up ahead," said Gloria. "Y'all can dismount and take a few pictures of the valley; there's a nice river running through it; and I'll make sure the girths are still nice and tight."

Howard looked unsure. "If I get off will I be able to…you know…get back on?"

"You'll be plenty sore tomorrow," said Gloria, "but you'll be able to get back on all right now." We've only been riding forty minutes, so if you're in any sort of physical condition you should be handling it all right."

Howard groaned. "Okay."

"Look at the bright side," Sheldon said. "She didn't say that you weren't in any sort of physical condition."

"Hah! Good one!" Penny laughed, grinning at Sheldon.

Sheldon looked confused. "What did I say?"

"Here we are," Gloria said. "Now, dismounting. All you do is swing your right leg over the horse's rump, let your feet out of the stirrups, and drop to the ground." She demonstrated, landing easily on her feet and putting the reins over her shoulder. "Here, hon," she said to Sheldon, taking his mount's reins. "Give it a try."

Penny didn't watch Sheldon and Leonard dismounting; she got off her horse and went to help Howard, who had swung his leg over his horse's rump, but was holding onto the saddle as if he was afraid of falling to the ground. "Just drop, Howard, it's not that far."

"Easy for you to say, you're taller than me!"

Penny stood about two feet behind him. "Come on, you look ridiculous," she said. "Just let go of the saddle."

Howard let go and fell to the ground, stumbling backward. Penny caught him, stepping backward into her horse's shoulder. Luckily, the horse didn't move. Clearly he was used to it. "Are you okay, Shorty?" she asked, laughing.

"Yeah…" Howard shrugged, turning around to face her. "Maybe…maybe a little embarrassed, but…" he shifted uncomfortably.

"How so?" Penny asked.

"Come on! None of us can do this! I mean, look at him!" he pointed to Leonard, who was struggling to get his leg over his horse's back. "He can't even get off of the thing!" Howard noticed his horse taking leaves off of the nearby tree, and he reached out to take the rein.

"Every girl in California is going to hate me for this," Penny said, "but why don't you use what you learn here to help pick up girls?"

Howard perked up. "Like how?"

"Well," Penny said. "You could learn about horses, and maybe use it to impress them. There's a lot of terminology, and even if it isn't anything fancy, or even difficult to remember, most girls near L.A. wouldn't know it, and you'd sound really smart."

"I have a master's degree!"

"Girls love horses, Howard, a lot more than engineering." Penny cocked her head. "Think about it. You'd appear to know a lot about what they'd be interested in. You wouldn't have to lie as much as usual, which would lower your odds of being slapped." She smiled, knowing how Howard's brain worked and thinking that she had a good chance of getting Howard to come away from this experience with a positive attitude.

Howard appeared to be mulling it over. Penny grinned, watching him. She pulled her camera out of her pocket and snapped a photograph of the valley. It really was pretty. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Leonard standing by his horse, staring up at the sky. "Eagle!" He said, pointing upward. Penny raised her camera and pressed the button. "What was that?" Leonard asked, looking at her.

"I got you, the horse, and the eagle!" she said excitedly.

"Someone give her a medal," Sheldon said under his breath. Penny stuck her tongue out at him.

"Okay, I'm in." Howard stood beside Penny. "Tell me about these guys."

"Sheldon's a theoretical physicist, Leonard does experimental work. They both really love sci-fi…"

"No no, I mean the horses!" Howard laughed.

"I knew that," Penny said, laughing along with him. "But ground rules. You can't use any of these lines on me."

"Fine."

"Or Bernadette."

"Fine."

"And if you ever meet my sister; not here either. She's married."

"Fine." Howard put his head to the side. "An-neigh thing else?"

She shook her head playfully. "No word play."

"You're not giving me much leeway here."

"That's all the rules," Penny said. "Ready?" At Howard's nod, she continued. "An adult male horse is a stallion, unless he's gelded-castrated-and that makes him a gelding. An adult female horse is called a mare. A foal-a baby horse-has a sire and a dam. Sire is the father, dam is the mother." She looked at Howard. "Are you getting this?"

Howard nodded. "I have a few stallion lines I can use."

Penny made a face. "Save it for the bars, okay?" She raised an eyebrow at him until he nodded. "Good. Oh, and the front leg of a horse is called the foreleg, in case you have any disgusting lines about foreplay."

Howard thought for a moment, and then gave Penny an impressed look. "Nice. You'd make a great wingman."

Penny knew that he'd meant it as a compliment, so she decided to take it as one. "Thanks, Howard."

"Hey!"

Penny and Howard looked in the direction of the voice. Gloria and Leonard stood by the edge, where the Earth tilted downward into the valley. Sheldon stood a few feet away, staring at the gentle drop with a look of fear. "Do y'all want a picture together?" Gloria asked.

"Sure!" Penny tugged on her horse's rein and walked it up to where the others were standing. Howard followed her, and Gloria helped them get the horses in line. Gloria took Penny's camera from her. "This button?" She asked, her finger on the corner of the device. Penny nodded. "Okay!" Gloria remounted her horse and rode a few paces away. "Smile, everyone!"

That was my first ever Penny/Howard friendship scene, so…sorry if it sucked serious ice. We don't get much of H/P friendship on the show so I didn't have much to go on…hope you liked it okay…