Nathaniel knew why he was tired.

It wasn't the long march, he'd endured longer ones in the Free Marches. It wasn't the difficult terrain they had been forced to push through either, Nathaniel had climbed steep mountains when required, a few trees and a thick under-brush was no issue. It wasn't the strain of remaining stealthy as he scouted out the area around Knotwood Hills, he had stayed unnoticed for months at a time before.

No, the exhaustion was emotional rather then physical, sapping his strength as he followed Lynn's orders.

So he had wearily lead them towards the Knotwood Hills, through thick under-brush and down deer-paths, swiftly reaching the area of Lynn's interest. He had, per Lynn's orders, scouted out the area around the great canyon from where darkspawn were supposed to be coming from as the elf herself went to scout out the canyon itself. He had only found a few animals, no darkspawn, the animals had all been tainted with the blight however...meaning that the hunters speaking of the forces marching out of the canyon were most likely correct.

Only now had he begun to calm down, his logic suppressing the instinctual rebellion against thanking his father's killer. In a way he was thankful for having been forced to move, to concentrate on something else...it had distracted him and kept his struggle with his conscience to the subconscious.

He felt better now as he pushed through the foliage to the camp they had set up not far from the canyon, better but fatigued. A night's sleep will do me much good.

He sighed with relief as he stepped into the clearing where they had made camp. The ground was bereft of grass, as much of the surroundings were. Perhaps another sign of the spreading taint? With two fires going the camp was perhaps a bit unnecessarily large, but judging by the looks the cross-legged Velanna by the right fire was shooting Anders seated on a log by the fire to the left that was perhaps for the best. Did he try to be funny again? Nathaniel sighed, wearily rather then with relief this time.

And no sign of the Commander...he frowned as he shot the camp another look, just to make sure he hadn't missed the other elf of their little band. Should I search for her? He wasn't sure, he knew the Commander could handle herself, but if the canyon was swarming with darkspawn... She's not so foolish as to challenge them on her own, and if she is she's already dead.

Shrugging he moved over to Velanna, absently noting how the woman turned her head from scowling at an Anders trying to pretend like nothing, to look at him. He ignored it though, too tired to care as he carefully unslung his bow before simply falling onto a sitting position next to his blanket by the other end of the fire.

The elf said nothing, seemingly weighing her words.

Nathaniel groaned inwardly. I'm not in a state to spar...just leave me alone. He said nothing however, his hands moving to unstring his bow with practised ease. I just want to sleep, get a fresh start.

"I have a question."

Of course you do. Feeling his shoulders stiffen Nathaniel glanced over at the elf, then hesitated, the woman's eyes weren't narrowed in hostility or gleeful with some vicious thought, they rather looked...sad, or...sympathetic? Nathaniel blinked. No, that can't be it. "You thanked your father's killer...why?"

Nathaniel grimaced, despite the question being an obvious one. Yet...she didn't seem to be planning anything with the question...it was just...curiosity. Strange... "You heard my explanation did you not?"

"Yes." The elf cocked her head to the side. "I assume you did this due to something your..." Hesitation, the elf tensing. "...sister told you."

"That is correct." Nathaniel nodded, now curious himself. What is she thinking about?

"Most would not admit wrong so..." Hesitation again, Velanna drumming her fingers on a bare thigh. "...quickly." The woman cocked her head to the side, with the fire between them her eyes looked like dark pits, but not evil though, soft, calm. "I wonder...why did you not wait, or do it in privacy?"

Nathaniel nearly laughed, instead he only smiled, a small chuckle escaping him as he looked down at his hands. Distant memories of old lessons taught to him by a soft-spoken woman always pale and ill with sickness fluttering past his mind. "Mother, may she rest in peace, always taught me that a noble must always be informed, act with honour and justice in mind, to strive for what is right. But being a noble automatically doesn't make you right. And even though you should never hesitate in acting justly, if you do not...you must admit it as quickly and openly as possible, not hide it away or ignore it." His smile widened, remembering the final words on that lesson as if they had been spoken to him yesterday: "Always admit your faults the instant they are apparent, do it humbly and with due reverence, do that and you are truly noble, and you will be honoured for it."

Silence.

Nathaniel sighed and felt his smile melt away. "Father never agreed with that..."

Finally Velanna spoke, her voice soft, barely drifting across the crackling fire: "That sounds...difficult."

"Life isn't supposed to be easy." Nathaniel replied, looking up and finding the elf looking down at her hands, as he had just moments ago. She's thinking of those merchants she killed... "But mostly we find the strength to go on, and if we're stronger then that, to do so with dignity."

A small snort. "Well aren't you on a high horse today...?" Nathaniel smirked at the accusation so softly thrown at him and found the elf glancing up at him, a small smile of her own on her lips. "But you're probably right, I just..." She shrugged and looked away.

Nathaniel drew a deep breath as he leant back on his palms, enjoying the warm fire between the two as he stretched out his weary legs. "Life goes on, you'll do something good with it."

"I...thank you." The woman shot him a glance, then continued to look away, shoulders bunching up in some unspoken tension. To his surprise Nathaniel couldn't identify it, it was almost as if she was annoyed with herself...

Silence.

The fire crackling between the two, soothing him.

Oddly enough he felt relaxed, Velanna's furtive questions having eased some of his own tension. Not to mention he enjoyed the quiet as he waited for the woman to speak, seeing that she still had something to say...and not at all worried of what it might be, knowing that there would be no 'fight' today.

More silence, the elf regarding him, fingers still drumming on a bare thigh as she hesitated.

Then she spoke, voice even softer then before, nearly a whisper. "Tell me...your sister...was it...nice meeting her?"

Oh...Nathaniel swallowed, remembering all too well how Velanna's sister had looked the last time they'd seen her, blighted, tainted, ruined..."I..." Should I speak the truth or try to ease things for her? He watched the woman's expression, finding Velanna regard him with those dark pools of her eyes, boring into him, demanding an answer, an honest answer. "..it was many things."

The woman's fingers stopped drumming her thigh, her breathing visibly slowing as she regarded him.

Dammit. "I...was very relieved. My brother was a drinker, but also a fighter, a warrior...my father was skilful, clever...both were nobles, fighting for power." He sighed. "But my sister...she never wanted any of that...she was innocent...I...grieved for her the most when I heard the family had died during and after the blight. For she wasn't just one I loved...she was innocent, she would never...ever...have deserved the fate I thought she had suffered."

The elf didn't say a word, her shoulders slumping as she watched him, waiting.

Nathaniel found himself shaking, looking down he hugged himself, suddenly finding himself cold. "I...I loved her and thought she was dead...I was so sure of it...it was the only logical conclusion...I just didn't want to hope for anything else, it was too painful." He swallowed, feeling a lone tear forcing itself out of the corner of his eye, despite his efforts to hold it back. "And then she was there, just there...as if brought back through magic...it made me so happy that it hurt..." He moved to say something more, but couldn't, his throat closing up, suddenly feeling very tired.

Across him Velanna had her head bowed, he shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

Oh no...Nathaniel moved to sit up, to walk up to her.

Only to stop as Velanna looked up again, her cheeks shone from the fire, perhaps due to tears, but the dark eyes were calm, resolute. "You should never lose hope."

"I..."

"Never." She repeated the word, making it sound like an order.

"I..." Nathaniel hesitated as he looked away. What if he hadn't stumbled upon his sister in Amaranthine? What if she had been somewhere else? He would never have looked for her, thinking she was dead...and he would have lost her, never knowing she was alive.

He felt Velanna look at him as he hesitated, his face no doubt looking confused.

It was a terrifying thought. "...suppose you're right." He smiled, feeling a rush of relief run through him as he looked over at the woman, finding her shoulders visibly relax as he watched her, perhaps finding his agreement soothing to her own worries about her own sister. "You are very wise my lady."

Velanna nearly jumped at the words, eyes narrowing as she looked over at him. "Are you taunting me?"

"Of course not." Nathaniel replied with a shrug. "Despite your hostility there's no doubt that you are wise, and a lady worthy of respect."

"I..." The woman blinked, confusion written over her face as she regarded him, her hands moving from her thighs to her knees, closing around them, as if to steady herself. "...am no human lady."

Nathaniel shrugged again, puzzled by her reaction. "One does not preclude the other, you are an elf, and a lady of wisdom, race does not necessarily define role, don't you agree?" He gestured for her long ears, then the camp, meaning their task as Grey Wardens.

"I suppose..." The elf muttered, looking away, mouth a thin line of irritation, yet Nathaniel got the distinct impression that it wasn't with him she was irritated with... "And I'm not hostile."

Nathaniel chuckled. "I suppose not, my apologies my lady, I did not mean to offend."

"I...wish I was offended..." Huh? The elf shook her head, then looked directly at him, making him blink at the sudden...openness in them, as if she had dropped a guard within them when he hadn't been looking. "I...apologise if I have given the impression that I was hostile before, perhaps that...was my intention...I...did not consider myself saved, but imprisoned."

Nathaniel blinked, momentarily lost for words. You think you know someone... "T-that's understandable, I fully understand that you felt yourself cornered with all the new things around you and your new life. To be around humans all the time must be...setting you on edge."

A small snort, the woman shrugging. "It's...easier then I expected." She offered him a shy smile before looking away. "I suppose adapting is part of life."

Nathaniel found himself smiling, oddly giddy about the woman accepting her lot in life with such ease. Then again she's smart, shouldn't have expected anything else...still..it's nice to see. "Good, I'm happy for you, and perhaps myself...one of those days you would win one of those conversations."

Velanna laughed, a soft pearly laugh, relaxed, relieved, making Nathaniel smile. "Is that a challenge? You think I'll just roll over and let you dominate the conversations now?" She shot him a teasing smirk.

Nathaniel smirked back, feeling his weariness lift ever so slightly. "Wouldn't dream of it my lady."

"We march in at first light." Nathaniel and Velanna both jumped at the voice, turning their heads they found Lynn crash through the under-brush and into the camp, her golden armour stained crimson with dark blood. How did I not hear her approach! I must have been...he glanced at Velanna...distracted. "There are darkspawn in the canyon, we will attack at daybreak and move in, I believe there might be an entrance to the deep roads there, the architecture I glimpsed there implied it."

"Sounds logical...Commander." Nathaniel replied, feeling a little irritated with the change of subject as he eyed the woman marching over to Anders, snatching up her pack and digging up a wineskin. "Did...something happen?"

The elf glanced at her gore-covered armour, then shrugged. "Patrol of darkspawn, took care of them, they won't report back, but won't be missed until tomorrow I believe."

"Ah..." Nathaniel muttered, not really knowing what to say. "So..."

"Time to sleep." The Commander interrupted him even as she took a huge swig out of her wineskin before corking and throwing it aside...and then simply laying down on the blanket she'd already placed on the ground.

A second later she was still, unmoving.

Nathaniel sighed, eyeing the solid back of his Commander with an odd worry. She's so harsh... A swig of wine, no dinner and then she just lays down to sleep? Does she think she's a golem or something? There's more to life then that...what happened to her? For not the first time he believed the songs sung about the woman were wrong...but this time he thought so in a different direction. The true song would be a sad one, it has to be...

As if sensing his melancholy, and not caring for it, Velanna spoke up. "Stop leering at her."

Nathaniel scoffed, then laughed, shooting the smirking Dalish a glance. "Wouldn't dream about it my lady." Then he shrugged, reluctantly admitting himself to be tired, and for the time to be already late. "I believe the commander's order makes sense though, sleep will be needed for tomorrow, so if you'll excuse me..." He bowed his head, grabbed his blanket and pulled it over him as he lay down on the ground on his side, facing the woman with closed eyes, too weary to pull off his armour, not to mention not wanting to be caught half-naked if they were attacked at night.

Before him he heard the elf shuffle closer, her soft voice nearly whispering the word: "Nathaniel?" The elongated 'e' made him smirk even as he kept his eyes closed, feeling sleep already pulling him towards oblivion.

"Hmmm?"

Hesitation, the woman shifting her weight. "I don't...really have deer-like ears...do I?"

Nathaniel chuckled softly and offered Velanna a smile even as he kept his eyes closed, his body seemingly spinning on its axis as sleep begun to overcome him. "Yes, but I like them like that..."

Silence.

Darkness closing in around him, pulling him down, soothing him...

A soft whisper, embarrassed: "Oh..."

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Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her stalwart work.