Fifteen minutes later the group was sitting around a long table eating Chinese takeout. There were very few words between the sweet and sour mouthfuls.
"Well, I really like what you've done with the place," said Jacob. "It looks really nice. You've got good taste."
"Oh, thanks, well, it's nothing big," said Chloe. "I'm still stumped about what to do with that wall there. It looks so blank and empty. It needs something…"
"Try a bookcase," said Carter. "Those really class up a room. A big one, like Faith has at her place. Trust me, it'll look great."
"So true," said Eli. "Books really make for great decoration. But it's such a bitch to find covers with the right matching colour, isn't it?"
The older Brown brothers stared at each other. Jacob stuttered, "I think he's being sarcastic. Right?"
"Well obviously," said Faith.
"Sorry, big bookworm are you? Sorry if we offended you," said Carter.
"Don't listen to him, Eli, books are great," said Chloe. "I couldn't be with a guy unless he liked reading."
"Yeah right," said Faith. "I'm sure you could marry an illiterate as long as he was a 'nice guy.'"
"With a cute smile," added Carter.
"Are you saying I have low standards?" said Chloe.
"I'm saying … you have lower standards than me. Maybe mine are too high. I've only ever met five or six men in my life I thought were good enough for anyone to marry."
"Oh, and what does the great Faith Diaz look for in a man, I wonder," said Eli. "Niceness isn't one of the top categories, is it?"
"Of course he should be nice, I guess. And intelligent. He should be successful though. A good job. A good family. He should athletic and healthy. Charismatic, efficient, polite, clean. Well-travelled, good taste for food, fashion, art. Good in an emergency. Good at handling money. Well-connected. Maybe know a few languages. And you know, ideally he would be tall and rugged, sensitive but brimming with masculinity."
"Oh, is that all?" said Eli. "Well, it's incredible you know five or six guys who meet your standards. I'm surprised you even know one."
"What can I say?" she shrugged.
"There is not a man in the world who is that good."
"I'd beg to differ," said Carter.
"I'm not surprised," said Eli. "Women tend to have impossible standards for men to live up to."
Faith laughed. "Oh right, and women never get judged by men at all."
"Women tend to get everything they ask from a man handed to them on a platter," said Eli. "If they're attractive enough."
"Exactly. And there isn't a woman in the world who's attractive enough for even the ugliest guy. We have to shave, wax, diet, exercise, put on make-up, style our hair, do our nails, spend half our lives thinking about what clothes we are going to wear – just so a guy will even glance at us."
"Sure, and once they're looking, the power's all back to you," said Eli. "Women have a good reason to go through all that. And once they look nice, they're troubles are over in the love department. It's men who end up being rejected, because being a 'nice guy' just isn't enough. Guys really aren't as smart as women, I guess."
"Oh, shut up," said Carter. "What exactly are trying to prove here?"
"That men are slob and idiots," said Eli. "It's a woman's world."
"You must be one of those guys who thinks they can impress women by insulting all the rest of the guys. Well, Faith's standards aren't too high. There are men who can do all that, you obviously have just never met them."
"Obviously," said Eli.
"I know I can't stand guys who go out of their way to impress women," said Faith. Her gaze lingered on Carter.
The awkward silence that then emerged was broken by Jacobs ringtone. "Hello?" he answered. "Michael, what is it? No, it's fine. I don't need the car at all tonight. Yes, you can stay out late. No really. I'm not home. What? It doesn't matter. I'm out. I'm at Chloe's, okay? No, no, Eli's here too. No, I won't. I'm not going to ask her that. I can't ask her that, don't be stupid. No, I won't –"
"Ask what?" said Chloe.
"Nothing, it's just, hold on a second – Fine, fine, I will Mike, okay? Bye." Jacob hung up. "He was, just er, wondering if he could come over here some time, with some of his friends. To prove he knows you."
"Oh, uh, of course, I don't mind," said Chloe. "That was cute. It's nice to see a guy so close to his younger brother. Makes me wish I had a younger sibling. Reminds me of Faith and her brother."
"How is Angel?" asked Carter. "Is he as tall as me yet?"
"Not quite," she answered. "Maybe closer to Eli's height."
"Ah, still a shrimp, huh? Well, he still has time to grow. You should see the way Faith takes of him. She's like his mother. She's amazing."
"For sure. I'd never be able to be such a good big sister," said Chloe.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," said Eli. "The less confident you are, the more time you take to think and make sure you are doing the right thing."
"She's too modest," said Faith. "Not a good sign. Usually people only do that because they are looking for reassurance. They want compliments, but don't want to seem vain about getting them, so they put themselves down hoping someone else will try to contradict them."
"Oh, is that what you think I'm doing?" Chloe chuckled.
"Yes, you're very quick to try to please people," said Faith. "Just look how quick you were to say you had no problem inviting Jacob's brother's friends you never met to come to your home."
Eli looked at the two women. This might have been a scathing argument, but neither of them seemed in the least upset. It seemed a heated discussion of each other's faults was normal for them, and they did it for fun.
"Which of course makes me different from Faith, who lives her life forever hoping nobody can ever like her. She goes out of her way to think of things that will alienate her from everyone else around her."
"You just confuse my ability to act for myself with trying to put people off," said Faith. "Chloe won't do anything if she thinks it will upset someone."
"Well, that makes Chloe sound better than ever, to me," said Eli.
"Don't take her words as a compliment, Eli," said Chloe. "Faith would think it better I always do the opposite of what people want, just to show my independence."
"What, even if they were giving you good advice?"
"You'd have to ask her yourself."
"You want me to explain opinions that you made up for me?" said Faith. Of course you shouldn't do the opposite of what everyone wants. You should just ask people for a good reason when they want something from you."
"So to want to help someone out, you have to get something for yourself?" said Eli.
"To do things that would hurt yourself, to help someone out," said Faith, "is just stupid."
"So what, you never heard of selflessness? Of generosity? Of giving rather than receiving?"
"This is all hypothetical," said Faith. "How can I say? How important is the situation, what's the relationship between the people. I mean really, you are just twisting my words to sound as awful as possible."
"Yes, yes, we have to get all the details," said Chloe. "And don't forget to get the people's height, weight and eye colour. This is really important."
"I think that's Chloe's way of telling us to shut up," said Faith.
The food had long since been finished, and Chloe, wanting to lighten the mood, turned on her stereo. The group moved into the living room area. Eli ended up on a couch next to Faith.
"You know," she said, "I don't mind dancing so much alone with my friends, as I do out in public."
"Yes," said Eli. "It's too bad though that there's nobody here for you to dance with." Eli wondered why she would say that. He guessed she was hoping he would ask her, so that she could have a reason to reject him, and make herself feel superior.
Faith swallowed and sat up more rigidly. It was sick, she thought, to find rejection so attracting. Did she desire him because he did not take the slightest interest in her? It's good, then, that he was so pathetically beneath her, that he would never be a serious temptation.
A bit later, Jacob and Chloe, who had been talking privately in the corner, stood up, and Chloe said, "We're just going out for a walk. Anyone want to join?"
"You go on alone, I don't feel like walking," said Eli, who wanted her and his brother to be alone.
"We'll come," said Logan, speaking (as usual) for his fiancée. Knowing that this would now not be a private walk, Eli wished he had not just refused. The four went out, leaving just Eli, Carter and Faith. Eli moved as far away from Faith on the sofa as he could. Faith silently turned on the television and turned it onto a documentary. Carter, sitting on a chair at the other side of the room, suddenly got up and sat in the gap between Faith and Eli.
"I love the History Channel," he said. "I don't watch a lot of television, but when I do, it's just the educational stuff. It really teaches you about the world in ways you'd never imagine."
When at last the group came back from their walk, Eli and Faith were watching the show in silent attention over Carter's snoring. He startled awake when the door opened.
"Well, look at the time," said Eli, bouncing to leave. "We really should be getting home, Jacob. Come on, we'll take Faith's advice and take a taxi back."
Eli impatiently waited at the door as Jacob took five minutes to make his goodbyes.
"Thank God they're gone," said Carter. "Well, at least that Eli."
"What was wrong?" asked Chloe.
"He's such a loser. It like, takes all my energy just not to beat the crap out of him sometimes. God, he's just such a know-it-all and a prick. Did you see how he kept making everything into a fight? Always trying to sound smart?"
"Oh yeah, what a weirdo," said Logan. "And that clothes he was wearing. Coming here all dirty and torn old clothes like he was some sort of hobo. His hair all greasy and messy. His little stick frame. That stupid stubble on his face, like what, is he trying to grow a beard?"
"I bet he hasn't showered in days," said Carter.
"Oh come on, he looked fine to eame," said Chloe.
"You noticed how dirty he looked, didn't you Faith?"
"Yeah…"
"Like a drug addict, seriously. Even if he does have nice dark eyes, right?"
"No, I thought they stood out more when he was all wet," said Faith.
"Yeah, I wonder if you'd be saying the same if you had to walk along with him because he has no car."
"Probably not, no."
"Oh, come on Faith, you too would make such a wonderful couple. Hanging off his boney little arm, talking to him after his long day at the rental store, going with him to comic book conventions and waiting in line for Star Trek tickets…"
"Oh, shut up."
"No, really. I mean, you deserve the best, Faith, and Eli Bennett is so obviously it. Just think, you can take all his little brothers along to parties with you. I mean, he might annoying sometimes, the way he's always running his dumb mouth, but you love him so much, what'll it matter?"
"Are you done now?"