He was finally asleep.

Velanna smiled, as she had for the last two hours, content to just sit there, legs still before her, back against a tree as Nathaniel's head rested upon her lap.

Three days of battle, another day preparing, another one marching...with him scouting ahead over and over...only for her to finally convince him to rest as they came deep enough in darkspawn territory for the remaining knights to be able to do the scouting on their own. And when he relaxed...he had instantly fallen asleep, nearly dead.

However much it had pained her to know just how tired he was...it was a relief to see him finally rest, to ease away some of the darkness gathering around his eyes, to smoothen some of the worry-lines in his face.

He was completely limp where he lay resting against her, chest barely moving with his breathing, eyes closed in a dreamless sleep.

He deserved the rest.

To be truthful she herself felt tired. The fighting had left her as drained as any of the soldiers, perhaps more so since she had constantly been called upon to heal the injured, something she still wasn't good at, meaning she kept expending more energy then Anders would have. Even after the battle she had been called to heal them, to make as many ready for the march as possible. So not only had she been forced to work when all she wanted was sleep...but also forced to struggle with soldiers that suddenly didn't want the healing she was offering.

She herself had felt some trepidation at the idea of marching out so soon. But Nathaniel had been the one entering the keep to break the news to the others, showing without it needing to be said that he agreed with the order given...and Velanna had a sneaky suspicion that was the only reason the soldiers had only moaned in protest rather then cry out in outrage.

But Velanna had at least gotten some sleep, after all, once the troops were healed she wasn't really needed. But Nathaniel had stayed, talked to each and every soldier that was fit enough to continue the march, refused her demand that he too should get some rest, even when she had offered it with a hushed promise of pleasure...so what could she do? Only sleep, rest up so as to better take care of the stubborn idiot trying to kill himself, that's what

Damn idiot...Smiling she kept a hand under his head as the other's fingertips brushed against his forehead, pushing rogue strands of dark hair back behind his ear and putting her palm against his cheek. He didn't stir under her touch, too out of it to even register it. If you keep this up... She swallowed down the sudden lump in her throat and pushed the thought aside. No, I won't lose more, I won't.

The thought didn't help. Seranni... She blinked, watching Nathaniel's peaceful face as her heart screwed tight. Delilah... The man hadn't said a word about Delilah during the battle or back at Amaranthine, not a single word...it was as if he had repelled the grief...unable to face it. Or perhaps he took my advice of always hoping to heart? It was a vain hope, he hadn't, Velanna was sure of it...he was just...hiding it...from everyone, from her, from the Commander, perhaps even from himself...

It's not fair. She swallowed again, her breath shuddering as her hand remained against his cheek ,fingers in his hair. You deserve...more...better then all this. Her head dropped, her gaze moving to herself, that old self-loathing of hers creeping up again as she remembered all her bad choices, all her failings... I wish I could...be better for you...make it go away...or at least be strong enough to bear more of your burden for you... She blinked, a tear of grief suddenly hanging from her eyelashes.

She hated it, glared at it as it hung there, a blurry point before her vision. She had cried so much as of late...it had welled out of her, grief she hadn't allowed herself to feel suddenly making itself known, fresh as the day it had struck her.

And I had been selfish...let it come...wallowed in it. She shook her head, letting the tear fall on Nathaniel's leather-clad chest. I shouldn't' have, I should have remained strong and proud, maybe then I could have...done more for you...

It was Nathaniel's fault, in a away, he'd cracked her open... No, my fault, for letting myself become so. She hung her head in shame. I should have...I...don't know...

She felt helpless.

Foolish love...

She regarded the weathered face bellow her, sadly, yet regretting nothing. And that's what I regret...foolish love...I don't want to feel this...I can't help you...yet I must...it hurts...please...just stop driving yourself like this...please just...something I can...help with...

"You're thinking too much." Nathaniel's mouth moved, slowly, a low, a sleepy mutter as his hand came up to press against the one she held against his cheek, his eyes remained closed though. "I can feel it all the way over here."

Velanna's other hand left the back of his head to press against her upper lip as she stifled a sniffle, blinking furiously as she struggled to compose herself. Dammit... Nathaniel kept his eyes closed however, letting her save her dignity...and she hated herself for needing it. Damn pride... She managed to keep her voice kind, though it wavered as she spoke: "You should be sleeping..."

"I could for a while...but I'm too worried." The man admitted, a small smile on his lips. "This is nice though...hope I haven't been any trouble..."

Velanna shook her head emphatically, smiling even as she felt another hated tear appearing. Not at all...in fact you should stay like this for a few more hours."

"I don't-"

Velanna's hand came down, palm pressing against his chest, keeping him away from getting up. "No, stay, rest."

His eyes were still closed, too heavy to open perhaps, but he smirked. "Your wish is my command my lady."

Velanna snorted at that, breath shuddering with an echo of the worry that wouldn't leave her alone: "If that was the case you'd sleep more..."

"I'm sorry." His hand came to grasp her wrist, holding her hand against his chest even as he opened his eyes, the dark grey orbs warm but serious as they met hers. "I've caused you pain...it was not my intention."

She looked away, blinked, furious with herself as her heart fluttered in a mix of panic and cursed affection. "Thoughtless fool..."

The hand holding hers against his cheek came up, brushing against her own cheek before gently holding the back of her neck, forcing her to look back at him. He was smiling at her, a soft, sympathetic smile. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Velanna managed a tired smile, shaking her head. "If you don't you'll find yourself on fire..."

"Come here..."

Nathaniel's hand pulled at her neck, weakly, but she didn't struggle against it as she was pulled down, her eyes closing as she breathed out a sigh of relief as much as anticipation...

Warm breath...

"Okay! On your feet! Get up!" The shout of the sergeant snapped through the moment as strongly as if it had been the clash of blades.

They stopped, their breaths brushing against one another, then an amused groan escaped Nathaniel even as Velanna, smiling weakly, bent low to rest her forehead against his chest. Damn that timing...

"Up! We're moving out!"

With a grumble the two rose, following the example of the soldiers around them, forcing Velanna to once more pay attention to the world around her. As of late she had learnt to hate that...

There couldn't be more then fifty men with them, all tired, dusty, armour still scuffed from the battle they had come through. The seneschal, marching through the ranks with a face carved out of stone for all the expressions he made by now, still wore armour torn open along the shoulder...

Around them the ground was broken, the trees gnarled, the ground just dust and rocks, a wasteland that was nothing but broken peaks and rocky pathways...utter desolation.

Already the men were forming into a column, wanting nothing more then to continue their march if they weren't allowed to rest, the place seemed to make everyone nervous and as such they wanted to keep going. It wasn't so much a feeling of eyes watching them, or the feel of the entire world having turned into such a wasteland all of a sudden...it was more the utter abandonment of life, as if the emptiness around them were sapping away at their struggling lives.

Velanna shook her head, willing the thoughts aside, it was no use to ponder...

"Nathaniel, we're moving." Velanna jumped, finding Lynn in front of the two, catching her by surprise. The dark slits of the Commander's eyes watched the pair, a void gazing into them...and Velanna took Nathaniel's hand in hers as she raised her chin in defiance, meeting the void head on. No, I will not be ashamed, not before the likes of you. "I have told the seneschal I'm taking the Warden's to scout ahead."

Nathaniel's hand in hers twitched, but his face and tone remained neutral as he spoke: "I see...the knights?"

There was a pause, the elf's head cocking to the side. "They have not returned from their latest excursion."

Another twitch, this time almost painful. "I see..." This time he paused, Velanna glancing at him in curiosity and finding his head bowed and eyes closed, a frown creasing his forehead as he took a deep breath. What- "...as you wish...Commander."

A nod, short and precise. "Of course...Warden." And the Commander turned her heel on them, marching on and expecting them to follow...which they dully did, Nathaniel stubbornly ignoring Velanna's questioning glare.

The others were waiting for them at the edge of their depressing little camp. Justice, still hiding his face behind his closed helmet, standing straight and waiting, as expressive as a statue. Sigrun,shifting her feet nervously where she stood, eyes darting between the surroundings and the gathering troops, her smiles gone.

None else was left...making Velanna painfully aware of those they'd lost.

"Commander, I will take the men down the southern canyon, we'll link up at the other end..." Velanna turned and found the seneschal, standing at the flank of the now prepared column of weary men, saluting crisply at Lynn even as his gaze darted toward Nathaniel at her side.

Lynn didn't seem to notice though, the elf nodding casually. "Good." Nothing more was said as she turned to join the other Wardens, the seneschal too turning without further words to order the column into a march.

Lynn brushed past the others, not a word escaping her as she moved to climb the rocky ground. Velanna frowned in confusion. Wouldn't climbing and such make us slower then the column? Then how will we scout? Nathaniel released her hand and moved to follow Lynn, followed by Justice...then a hesitant Sigrun.

Finally Velanna shrugged and moved to follow, hearing Sigrun's hesitant voice echo her thoughts: "Commander...how will we scout for the troops like this?"

The response was clipped and cold. "We won't."

"Then how...?" Sigrun's voice faded as Velanna turned cold, hearing a sudden roar in the distance.

Nathaniel's voice was low, muttered, shamed.

"They're bait."

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Thanks to Abydos Jackson, for many things.