BPOV

I stirred slightly as my mind found consciousness again. I few errant rays of orange sun light pierced through the lines of the blinds, and made me wonder how long I had been asleep. Slowly, I moved me feet to the floor and sat up from the bed rubbing my eyes. I got up and walked toward the window and saw the sun was setting once again. The air in the room was quite stale and I coughed loudly as I made my way over to the bathroom. Laurent had found this abandoned hotel about a week after we left Forks and it has been my make shift home now for a little over a month.

In the bathroom, I stared at my self in the mirror. My skin was looking paler than my normal albino tones these days and I had dark circles under my eyes. The skin on my face was even starting to look tight, from my lack of eating. I liked to blame my appearance on the lighting around the hotel, but I wasn't fooling myself. I splashed water on my face and started to clean myself up; surely Laurent would come looking for me soon. Over the last month, Laurent and I had traveled across the country and were in a small secluded town at the very north end of Wisconsin. I was forced to abandon my truck along the way, because Laurent found it too irritatingly slow. Luckily, I convinced him to hide it somewhere in case; we ever decided it might be useful again.

Wisconsin does not have as many overcast days as Forks, so many times Laurent would be cooped up in the hotel or wandering deep in the woods until nightfall. Once it was dark, Laurent would come find me and we would go out so I could explain more things about humans. Laurent wanted to know everything about human life and was obsessed with the life style the Cullen's had. Apparently, it was my duty to prepare him as much as I could so that he too, might be able to interact with the humans. Laurent's biggest problem with the human world was his thirst. The year he spent living in Denali gave him a head start into controlling his thirst, but it wasn't enough to make him an expert. In fact, many times when Laurent was in Denali he told me he cheated when he was far enough from home that Irina and the rest of her sisters wouldn't know.

Laurent was pretty good at controlling his bloodlust around me, but he still wasn't able to maintain on animals alone. Obviously, there wasn't much I could do to stop him and even I had had a few close calls with Laurent when I didn't think I would make it through the day. Laurent's temper was another story. Edward had always been so patient with my slow rate, but Laurent was constantly agitated to move at a humans pace. And with that temper, Laurent seemed to forget how strong he was. I constantly had bruises where Laurent got a little too distracted or angry and forgot how hard he was handling me.

The night time was when Laurent and I spent the most time together. He was constantly asking me questions about the Cullen's and even though it hurt to think about them, I was glad to give Laurent the answers he wanted. Laurent's questions and presence kept the Cullen's alive in my heart even though Edward's words that day still ring in my head. It will be as if I never existed. As long as Laurent didn't ask me personal questions, I was okay. The first time Laurent asked me about my physical relationship with Edward, I broke down. He seemed so puzzled by my human emotions for them and was annoyed by my constant crying instead of entertaining him that he refrains from those questions now. From then on, all of his questions were more clinical and reminded me of Carlisle, but it was easier when I thought of the questions as how doctors would ask.

I still feel like a shell of who I was most of the time, my heart is never going to be whole no matter how much I try to put Edward out of my mind. The nightmares that come every night haunt me and keep me from any sound sleep. It feels like I don't sleep at all the way I look and feel when I wake up. And Laurent doesn't mention anything about me talking or screaming in my sleep, but I know he hears me. This life that I am living now, doesn't feel like life at all. I can barely feel anything through the numbness of my soul and I can feel my body weakening slightly as weeks pass. As Laurent tries to keep me interested in teaching him, the more I retreat emotionally. I think Laurent has realized that I don't really want to be here with him, but he also knows I don't want to be in Forks either. I got dressed and was trying to pull my fingers through my hair when I felt a slight breeze and looked up.

"Ready for tonight's festivities, my pet?" Laurent spoke as he extended his hand towards me. I took Laurent's hand with minor hesitation and let him lead me downstairs to the ball room. As we approached the room I could hear music wafting down the hall. We stopped right in front of a stereo.

"What is this for?" I asked.

"Well, I have received an invitation to attend a mask ball in a few months and considering that humans take so much longer to learn, I figured we had better start tonight."

"Start what…? What would I need to learn to attend a ball and how do you think you are going to be able to handle that?"

"Dancing, my pet. We are going to spend the evening dancing and conversing with the humans."

"Laurent, I told you I don't dance and you are going to need years of practice before you spend any time in a room full of humans."

"I am growing tired of waiting and if I say I will be ready by then, I will be. The day has been too long; don't argue with me my pet." Laurent's eyes grew dark and I knew I shouldn't push him. I watched as he demonstrated the steps to the dance, but he was always moving just a little to fast for me to understand all of it. When it came time to do it myself I was very shaky. By the time, I had some of the basics to one dance down Laurent showed me the next one. We had been going in circles all night and Laurent was growing more and more frustrated with my lack of skill. I kept forgetting the steps to the last dance after he taught the next.

"No, that is wrong. How could you not remember what we only went over a few hours ago?!" Laurent gripped my arms tightly glaring at me. We had been practicing all night long and I was too tired to remember the first dance now.

"I'm sorry, but I am too tired to remember. We can try again after I have slept, now let me go you are hurting me." Laurent's eyes were black with fury and I was beginning to wonder how long it had been since he hunted.

"No, do it again, and it has to be right before I let you go." At that I was angry, how dare he tell me that, I was half tempted to deny him, but I wasn't a complete fool to go against a vampire. I tried it again and put forth as much effort as possible into it. Just as we were about to finish I got confused over which foot to move first and I tripped over my own feet. I fell to the ground with a thud and Laurent looked down at me with all his fury. He yanked me up by my arm and shoved me into the wall hard. The wood trim on the wall cracked and creaked as my weight pulled against it.

"You have got to be one of the clumsiest humans I have ever put up with." At that moment, Laurent froze and looked at me intently. I had been so stunned by his momentary aggression toward me, that I didn't feel the stinging from my arm immediately. Then I felt it…stinging and then a slow trickle dripping down off my little finger. I pulled my arm up ever so slowly and Laurent grasped it suddenly. I recognized the look in his eyes; it was something I had seen before. James gave me that same look before he bit me that night at the ballet studio. I held my breathe as Laurent watched the blood dripped down my arm from the three inch cut. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply; a second later his eyes opened and pulled my arm to his mouth. With a flick of his tongue he caught the drop that was about to drip off my finger. I was so terrified I couldn't move…I couldn't speak. I could feel Laurent tremble after tasting my blood and then I watched as he pressed his cold lips up to my arm. I watched as he sucked from my wound and when that wasn't enough he bit down tearing it open more. I gasped as I felt his teeth cut through my skin and tried to push him off but it was useless.

I took shallow breathes as my mind processed the fact, that I was about to die. Tears streamed down my face, as I pictured Edward's glorious face in my head. I had been trying to forget him for so many months, that I had to allow myself this one last look. I wanted so much that I couldn't have… I cried harder. But not because I was scared to die, I think I was happy that it was all going to end. In a few seconds, my heart wouldn't hurt anymore….I wouldn't have to feel numb…I would have to worry about feeling anything anymore. The darkness engulfed my mind and I fell deep and deeper as my body went limp.

AN: No worries there is a lot more to come...reviews will always encourage me to write faster, but I haven't gotten much of a response for this story...maybe I am dragging out the start of the story too much, but the action is coming. I wanna know what you think. REVIEW