All characters are owned by the one and only Stephanie Meyers, no disrespect is intended.
Ok, I know it's been awhile, but I am finally back in the game. Life is hard and you all know what I am talking about so I don't need to explain my excuses. I have finished rough drafts of the next 12 chapters and I am gonna try to post them once a week or it might require two weeks, but they are coming, so hang in there with me. This weekend, I will be traveling to Cleveland, OH and next weekend I will be in NYC for 5 days, but I will try to post another chapter somewhere in there or I will get two chapters out to your guys when I get back if I can't get one out before I go. I hope you enjoy what coming!
I listened to my heart thunder away in my chest as my brain tried to catch up with what just happened, but I couldn't make sense of it. It all happened so fast, I didn't even know how to understand it. I have been feeling so different lately, like my body is not my own and every feeling I have is so much more intense than I remember it to be. I wish I could go back to the numbness I felt before, because now I just feel so confused and erratic.
"How? How did you just do that?" Laurent said quietly.
I didn't know what to say, I was panicked. Did I even really do that? He was moving so fast and I couldn't keep up with him so I just let go. I fell back into the wall and bit my lip… hard. I tasted my own blood in an instant, but it tasted so different and even stranger I liked the way it tasted. Then Laurent tried to take it, his lips smashed into mine all cold and hard. My mind had screamed out 'No!' but I wasn't sure if it was because he was actually kissing me or if it was because he was stealing my own blood from me. I had let him do this so many times before, but never like this. This time it was different, I wanted the blood for myself…I was being selfish and I certainly didn't want him kissing me either.
How dare he kiss me like this? No one should be kissing me, but the one I love and I most certainly did not love Laurent. My heart may be broken, but I was not about to be used by someone else now. His touch was greedy and he paid no attention to the fact that I tried to push him away. I fought to keep him out of my mouth, but he grabbed my arms and pressed me firmly into the wall, blocking my only defense. I didn't want him; I don't want this, my mind screamed as the rage boiled up inside of me. My vision faded to red as my eyes watched his face attacking me and then I felt something pressing against me, but it wasn't Laurent; it was something else. The angrier I got the more pressure I was feeling until I met my breaking point. I pushed against the pressure with all my might and watched in shocked awe as Laurent's form flew away from where he had just been holding me against the wall.
The Laurent started to take steps towards me with measured restraint; it was almost as if he were afraid of me. With his hands held up in front of him, palms facing out as if I was pointing a gun at him, he approached me.
"I won't try anything, my dear Sophie. I won't hurt you, but we need to figure out what just happened here." Laurent said holding back all the emotion with his tone.
I shook my head at him and looked down at my feet. I didn't know what was happening to me and there was no way I could explain it to someone else. I felt tears well up in the corners of my eyes as I let myself slide down the wall I was leaning against and wrapped my arms around my knees. Everything has been so off with me since a couple days ago. I rubbed where my neck was hurting and felt the coolness of my skin where Laurent had bitten me. I froze the minute I felt it and realized that the hurt I had been feeling in my neck wasn't just pain, it was burning. With my hand covering the bite, I gasped and Laurent was directly in front of me. I looked up at him suddenly and he stretched out his hand to mine covering the bite. He moved my hand and placed his directly over the scar.
"This should not have healed so thoroughly and I noticed a few days ago that your scent changed. It is sweeter now then it was days ago, but I didn't think anything of it till now. I can't believe it" Laurent said as he got up and started pacing in front of me.
That must mean that I'm changing then…but why? How? No wait, I don't want this now. I only ever wanted this to be with Edward but now I was looking forward to death. In fact, I wanted to die. I didn't want to live with this pain forever, I told myself when I left I was doing it to protect my friends and family from Victoria, but really I was protecting them from me. I didn't want them to be affected by how broken I truly was and I knew I would not survive. I had done every stupid thing I could think of that was dangerous enough to get me killed; I even jumped off a cliff. I hardly even tried to swim, I was so delusional listening to the voice in my head that I was letting myself drowned.
The voice!? In everything that has happened, I realized that I haven't heard Edward's voice in my head since then. There were almost a hundred times I can think of in the last couple months where I was in enough peril that I should have heard him, but there was nothing. After how obsessed I was to hear him then and now I hadn't even remembered that I had not heard him in months. What does it mean? Why did I ever hear him in the first place if when I needed him most he never came? He never came…I drown and he didn't come. It was after that, I didn't listen for him anymore. I knew he wouldn't come after that so there was no sense in hoping to hear words spoken that I knew were never true.
I hadn't even realized that I had been holding my breathe until I had to abruptly gasp for air to keep from passing out. The whole in my chest flared wildly out of control sending waves of excruciating pain throughout my body. My heart sped as the pain took hold me and my hands were shaking uncontrollably.
"Sophie!" I heard Laurent scream as darkness washed over me. It was too much, I couldn't keep my eyes open, but I could feel Laurent's cool hands touching my skin. Cool that's funny…they always felt frigid before. I feel cool…I felt like I was falling through a black hole. The spot light was on me and my body twisted and turned as I fell, but there was no bottom. I was falling and it seemed endless. "No…" I think I said but it was so quiet I wasn't sure if I had really said it or not.
When I woke, I was lying on my bed and it was dark outside. I felt the hole in my chest heave a little with pain, but it was nothing. Then I felt the burning, it was the same pain I had felt over the last few days but it was dull; it was far from the searing pain it had been right before I lost consciousness. Testing my limbs I pushed myself up into a sitting position. I peered at the clock and wondered how long I had been out. I got up slowly from the bed as Laurent appeared in the doorway.
"You seem to be much better now, but we need to have a talk, Sophie" Laurent said with all seriousness. "Come and have a seat with me downstairs."
I walked slowly and carefully down the stairs and took a seat on the sofa, while Laurent sat in the tall arm chair to my right.
"I know this doesn't make sense Sophie, but I am pretty sure you are changing, slowly but nevertheless progressing. I hadn't intended to change you when I bit you, but I guess some small amount of my venom slipped through. There is nothing we can do to stop it I am afraid, but I do believe we might be able to speed it up. If I bit you again and this time meaning to fully release my venom into you it would only last a few days where as now I do not know how long your current state will continue before the transformation is complete."
So Laurent was giving me the chance to choose again. Do nothing and let things run their course or speed up the process to complete my fate to walk this world forever…broken. I made my choice quickly; there was no way I was going to speed this up now. My only hope was that I could buy some time before I was immortal to figure out what I wanted. Perhaps I could still die for real from the un-natural length of the process and be done with it all.
"Well shall we make you immortal now?" Laurent asked.
"No" I said and Laurent smiled, pleased I'm sure to hear me speak for the first time in months.
"We should talk about one more thing while I have you in such a talkative mood. Your gift."
He called it my gift. Surely he doesn't mean that I have an extra ability like Alice or Jasper did, but what else could that have been. I am special…I mused over in my head. This was very unexpected, but I didn't want to believe it just yet.
"I want to try something Sophie. Go stand over there and face me."
I walked to a point about fifteen yards away; turned and faced Laurent. He had such a strange smile on his face that made me leery. Suddenly, he darted forward shifting his path from left to right as he approached me ready to attack. Shocked at his sudden attack I threw my arms out in front of me to brace for impact just as Laurent lunged for me. I closed my eyes just before impact as a loud crack echoed threw the room. The moment I felt the collision I opened my eyes to see Laurent falling away from me and I saw the strangest thing in front of me. It was as if I was in a clear bubble, but a strong bubble. I felt the instant Laurent came in contact with my bubble, however it didn't waiver. I was so wrapped up in feeling the sensation of my bubble, that Laurent startled me when he spoke.
"I knew it!" he shrieked as he walked toward me pointing. "It's like some kind of shield. Incredible, just incredible…I only know of one person who has a power like this and she is a member of the Voltri guard. Ha and now we know why your precious Edward never heard your thoughts. I wonder if other gifts will be deflected by your shield."
I cringed when Laurent said Edward's name, but I didn't tell him that Jasper and Alice's gifts still worked on me when I was human. This little revelation was huge for me and it explained so much. Maybe despite Edward I was meant for this life after all; why else would I have a talent that I never would have found if it weren't for my newly begun transformation? Until I could truly figure out what all this means though, it would be pointless to get excited. I needed to keep emotion out of everything or I wouldn't make it. The slightest back pedal would send me into another painful attack like the day before. I needed to control myself if I was going to figure this out and the only way I knew how to make it day after day was to feel nothing.
I forgot to thank all the reviewers I PM-ed for some ideas. Thank you and a special thanks to sparklyvampirelover your suggestion has been a big help and I can't wait for you to see the chapter inspired by you! Please Review:)