Okay, just as promised only 6 hours before I leave for NYC for the next 5 days here is the latest chapter. I won't have much time to work on the next chapter while I am gone so be patient with me. Oh and I read that the cast from New Moon is going to make some mall appearances before the premiere Nov 20. It sounds cool, but they don't tell you who will show up to them exactly, so if anybody knows PM me cuz I will go if its worth my while to the Chicago, IL one.
All characters belong to my idle Stephanie Meyers. No disrespect is intended, Thanks!
Over the next few weeks my world was constantly changing. And while I was terrified about what it meant I was curious about what I was becoming. I still felt like me, but parts of me were different. Trying to reason or understand why this was happening was beyond what I wanted to do. Instead I tried to embrace these changes. At first, I didn't really notice any differences except for my new found shield. I started to feel intensely aware of how it cocooned me inside its little safe haven and while it came to my defense when I needed it; I could not seem to will it to my aide when I wanted it.
Each day I struggled to gain any control over my invisible bubble. Finally after hours at trying to make it appear; I gave up, furious over all my futile attempts. Then and only then did I learn what fueled the bubble. The angrier I got the more I seemed to be able to grasp the power of my shield. Once I had discovered this little trick, I experimented how far I could push my shield, by sitting on the floor in the middle of a room. While I sat there I concentrated on inching my shield out around me until I could feel it pushing the furniture out of its way. Getting angry was my only means to controlling the bubble and while Laurent pushed me to discover more about myself, I held my thoughts back. I told myself before that I would not revisit all of my truly painful memories, for fear that they might crush me, but I wasn't making any progress by having Laurent yell at me all the time.
The next day I headed out into the marsh to try something against my better judgment. It was sunny that day and I had yet to sparkle the way Laurent does, but I studied the golden rays for a few moments to take in my heightened vision. All this time I had spent obsessing over my shield, I forgot to test other vampire traits that I might be developing. It would seem that I could see and hear much better than I used to. Nevertheless, I sat down in a dry patch of grass and tried to focus on the boundaries of my shield. I pushed the shield out to the best of my normal ability and then braced myself. The second I let memories of Edward's face into the fore front of my brain my chest tore open and I gripped my torso as if my life depended on it. As the pain swelled in my chest I closed my eyes and let the waves of emotions roll through me.
I was trying so hard not to lose my concentration that I hardly took notice of what sounded like a freight train around me. I felt my hair lick wildly at my face as I tried to reign in the shear power of the raging emotions I was feeling. Little by little I was able to imagine taking all of those memories back and picture myself locking them back up in the depths of my mind. It felt as though it took an eternity before I could breathe again, however I am not really sure how much time past…was it seconds…minutes…or even hours? When I finally felt the control come back to me, I opened my eyes and could not believe the destruction I saw. Everything within 300 yards of me was completely gone or obliterated, I didn't know which. I rose to my feet in shocked awe at what I was capable of and could not produce a single word. Never again, I thought…never again could I let myself open that box again. I went back to the house and never spoke a word to Laurent about what I had done that day. All I knew was that I, mostly human me was dangerous and the slightest little slip of my control could be enough to unleash a lethal monster.
That night after I showered, I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection. My skin had always seemed pale compared to humans, but what little color I had was fading to an almost sickly shade of white and the deep purple rings under my eyes were just making it worse. It had been days since I had slept, but my body hadn't demanded sleep night after night. I had yet to really thirst for blood, but human food was becoming blander each day. My once deep brown eyes were slowly diminishing into grey. The overall look screamed that the life was being sucked out of me, but I didn't have the courage to say it out loud. While my appearance may have construed weakness to some people, that was far from the true.
I had noticed a slight luminosity to my skin in the past few days, nothing near to sparkling but it was still there. I picked up a razor from the tub; studying the blades as my mind raced with the two possible outcomes that stood before me. I held out my index finger, took a deep breath and pressed the razor flat against the tip. I put more force on the blade pressing it against the skin and then closed my eyes as I quickly jerked the blade across my finger. When I opened my eyes I wasn't surprised that there was nothing there, but I was surprised to see the blade of the razor flatten against the plastic grip. I must have pushed down a little too hard, but I had my answer. I grinned at the idea that I was well on my way to becoming invincible, however my eyes trailed from my finger to my wrists and up my arms.
Scars covered my arms from my wrist to my elbow on both arms from all the times that Laurent had needed to satiate his thirst. I frowned as I traced the marks noticing how some of them overlapped, there were more than a dozen of them on each arm. They were rather hideous and now more noticeable with my heightened vision. Feeling rather self-conscious, I put on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of dark wash jeans even though it was nearly summer. Luckily, I didn't need to worry about dressing for the weather anymore.
Down in the kitchen, I decided I should try to eat something. I poured some cereal in a bowl, went over to the fridge pulled out the milk. As I splashed milk on my cereal I picked up the book I had left here the other day. I turned the pages slowly trying to make the last few chapters last, because it seemed like I was going to finish reading every book in the library in a months time the way I had been going through them. I picked up the spoon and put the first spoon full in my mouth. The moment the cereal touched my tongue I froze, the consistency, the smell and the taste was just disgusting. I dropped the book I was holding, leaned over my bowl and released the vile cereal back into its milky abyss. Yuck! I looked at the cereal in the bowl for a few minutes, checking the expiration on the milk and decided to try something else…pop tart …yuck!... toast… tasted like cardboard…eggs?...okay those tasted better, but not as good as they used to taste. At some point, Laurent had taken notice and was leaning against the door with a huge smirk across his face.
"Maybe you should try hunting?"
"I'm not as fast as you are." I am definitely faster than a normal human though.
"I believe you are fast enough. Tonight we will hunt and I will show you what your body really craves." Laurent laughed as he walked away.
I cleaned up the mess I made in record time and thought about how nice it was going to be to not have to get groceries in town. In the beginning Laurent never liked to let me out in public without him so I always shopped at night, but at least he was able to translate for me. Nowadays I had picked up enough French to manage on my own and Laurent knew I had nowhere else to go. I would miss being normal like the other humans, but was my life ever really normal to begin with?
There were still a few hours before dark, so I needed some kind of distraction. I wandered around the house looking for something to jump out at me. Nothing seemed to call out to me so I was back in the kitchen again, when the green house caught my eye. I walked out the back doors and decided to see how fast I could get the door of the green house. In three point two seconds I had my hand on the handle to the door. I was pretty impressed with myself; I was so used to moving at a humans pace I hadn't even tried to see if I could move faster. It would seem that hunting might be easier than I thought, as I laughed to myself.
Once inside the green house I picked up a watering can and wandered down the rows of plants letting them have a drink of water as I let my hand graze the leaves as I walked by. After I was satisfied that I had done a good job, I knelt down to take a runners stance before dashing through the green house to see just how fast I could run. It was amazing that I could see every little rock and leaf as I pushed faster and faster, running laps inside the green house. My hair whipped around behind me and I couldn't stop from giggling. I felt so exhilarated and free even though I was going in circles. When I finally decided I had tested out my speed enough, I sat down under a large tree that sat in the corner of the green house. The tree had been left unattended for so long that it was growing tall enough to touch the glass roof of the green house and was in danger of breaking right through the glass any day now. I let the scent of the foliage swell around me, and I inhaled its earthy scent. All too quickly I felt myself slip into a restful state and as I thought about those I left behind in Forks, my eyes drifted shut.
When I opened my eyes I was in an all too familiar forest, everything was so green, much more vivid than my only human memories. I took peace in wandering through this forest, holding my hands out so I could touch as many leaves as I could, like I had done in the green house. Soon the wind changed and I knew Jacob was close by.
"Jacob?" I ran in the direction his scent was coming from yelling his name. Up ahead I could see a clearing and as I pushed towards the light, I saw him. My Jacob, who had been my own personal sun in a land of grey, was only a few feet away. As I looked at him he smiled and stretched out his hand to me…I stepped towards him, but suddenly I felt another presence. I turned to see golden eyes staring out from the shadows; he was always hiding in the darkness it seemed.
"Bella" Jacob called. "He doesn't want you…let go and come with me. I will help you forget…I can heal your heart. I love you and you love me. I can make you happy again if you let me."
"You were never meant for my world, Bella. This will be the last time I see you. Goodbye." Edward said in a whisper as his form started to fade into the darkness.
My heart was breaking like it was the first time he spoke those words to me. I looked from Edward towards Jacob and knew I had to make this choice. I would always love Edward no matter what, but did I want to keep holding out for someone who didn't want me. Jacob had given me everything I needed and I never even asked him. Now Jacob was asking me for something in return, he knew how broken I was but he still loved me…he wanted me…and I did love him…maybe not the way I loved Edward, but I did love him. I hugged myself tightly and took a step towards Jacob and my heart swelled. I was choosing happiness; I was choosing to try to make myself whole without him.
Just as I was about to jump into Jacob's arms I saw a flash of red behind him. Only a few yards away Victoria was watching me and then I paused. Victoria's eyes traveled to the left and I followed her lead to see what held her attention. Charlie appeared out of thin air and walked over to Jacob putting his hand on his shoulder. Then Victoria walked forward, "No!" I gasped, but they didn't even seem frightened. Jacob nor Charlie looked alarmed by my response and did not turn to look for danger. "Please don't" I whispered.
"Then you must come with me" Laurent said into my ear as his hands grasped my shoulders. As Laurent pulled me back, Victoria retreated into the shadows as well and my fate was sealed.
"Sophie!" Laurent nearly yelled in my face. I startled awake and looked up at Laurent. He looked at me for a long moment and then took my hand pulling me to my feet. Suddenly, he pulled me toward him and wrapped his arms around me.
"Don't fret, my sweet Sophia. I will take care of you" he said. I wasn't sure if I had said anything while I was asleep or what to deserve his kindness all of a sudden, but what I realized at that moment was that I needed a hug, and I hugged him back. Now that I was becoming Laurent's equal our dynamic had changed. He no longer treated me as his pet, but as his friend and companion. I wondered how long Laurent had been alone before he found James and Victoria. Did he have any other vampire friends? And what about Irena? I thought he had said that they were kind of an item, but he has spent the last nine months with me.
"Time to hunt. Are you ready?" Laurent asked. I nodded my head and we were off running threw the marsh in seconds.
"Stay close and watch me." I watched Laurent take a deep breathe in order to pick up the scents of the animals around us. Then he was off in a flash toward his prey. I hadn't asked what we were hunting, but I was glad that Laurent seemed to be hunting animals at least so far. Once Laurent got close to a herd of bulls he mimicked for me to stay and he darted out of the brush grabbing the lead bull by his horns, and abruptly turned the head, breaking its neck with a sickly crunch. He drank from it immediately, closing his eyes as he drew its blood into his mouth.
"Come Sophie" Laurent called and I was at his side without hesitation. At first, I had been turned off by the scent of the animals, but as we got closer to the herd, I began to feel the need to drink. It was a strange and alluring feeling to have while still being part human; nonetheless, the blood was calling to me.
"Take a drink and see if you like it" Laurent said as he held out the bull's neck. Nervously, I gripped the bull with both hands and inhaled the scent as blood ran from its neck to the ground. Within seconds of inhaling its sweet aroma, I plunged my surprisingly sharp teeth into the warmth of the bull.
It took less than a minute for me to drain the remaining blood from the bull. But the taste of its blood was far more captivating than I had imagined. It was better than anything I had ever tasted and I wanted more.
"I take it that you liked it then?" Laurent asked smiling at me. "Do you think you could do it yourself this time?"
"Yes." I was exhilarated at the thought of hunting and the way I felt when drinking from the bull. Without further thought, Laurent and I raced through the night, looking for the most delicious animals we could and once we were both full we sat in the sand and watched the moon. It was a full moon and it looked so big here, like it was almost close enough to touch.
"Come Sophie, let's go into town. I would like to expand our wardrobes a bit" he said with a smile. When we got into town, it was already late and most of the stores were closing up, but one store was still open. The name of the store translated into something like Vintage Emporium. It was a very nice boutique with a very warm feeling and it had a lot of eclectic vintage pieces. Amongst some of the junk I did find something that caught my eye. I didn't know what to call them, but I guess they were kind of like cuffs that you wear on your arms. Really it was like those gloves that have fabric all the way up to your elbow, except minus the glove. They were black and the back of them laced up like a corset. On the front, of them was this intricate embroidered swirl pattern. The swirls faded from black to navy to silver and were absolutely beautiful. I put them on both arms and smiled. They covered all of the scars on my arms and until now I hadn't realized how almost ashamed of them I was. It was strange, I had never really paid that much attention before, but I guess I didn't think I would be around long enough to really care and now I know I would wear them forever as a vampire. Laurent paid for my cuffs and a few things he picked out and then we headed back into the night towards home.
"Those are striking against your skin" Laurent said. I looked down at them and traced the design with my fingers. "Sophie, now that things have changed between us I wanted to talk to you. When you complete your transformation, you will no longer be reliant on me. I know I may not have treated you as well as I should have in the past, but I hope that we have become friends now and I have grown to care for you. I hope that you feel the same way, but I know I shouldn't expect you too. What I am trying to say is that I want you to stay with me. There are still a lot of things I can teach you and while I know you may have considered striking out on your own eventually, you needed to know… I want you to know, you have a home with me and even a family. If you stay with me, we can be a family. Think about it."
A family…I wasn't really sure what that meant to me now, but he hadn't given me any deadlines. Would we be a family like the Cullen's were a family? The concept left a lot of unanswered questions in my head, but I knew that when I became a full vampire I would be just as strong as Laurent and he was right I wouldn't need him. But what would I do and where would I go without him. I had no path and living forever possibly left things wide open. It was definitely something I would have to think about.
Okay, so the next chapter we are going to find out exactly what Irena thinks about Laurent being gone for so long. Any guesses as to what she might say...or do? lol
If you love me, the story, the book, anything really...review please. Reviews keep my writing motivated and it helps me post faster, Thanks!