Color of Your Soul
Chapter 8: Tell Me Your Story
A/N: I think I forgot to clarify something for the last chapter. Does everyone remember the "voice" in Yotsuba's dreams in the last chapter? The voice kept calling her "little clover". That's because "Yotsuba" in Japanese literally means "four leaves", hence the nick name of "little clover". Kind of like Hibari and skylark.
All I can do for you
Is grip your little, frozen hand
But I'll be by your side forever, forever
That's my gift to you
"Little clover… little clover…"
"It's you again." Yotsuba muttered, "Who are you?"
"You don't know me, but I know you." The voice said eerily, "I can see your past. I can see everything about you."
Yotsuba jerked around and around to find the source of the voice. "Who are you? Who are you? Show yourself!"
"Little clover… sweet, little clover…" the voice cooed, "Remember your father? Your cowardly father? Remember how he left you and your mother? You want to know what he's doing now?"
"My daddy is not that kind of man!"
"Oh, you poor thing." The voice said with a false sympathy, "I know that you remember. You must remember… your first father…"
Yotsuba felt scared. "Just who are you? Why do you know that?"
"Your father didn't love you, little clover." There was a little tint of laughter in the voice. "Neither does your new daddy. Do you really think he does?"
"Shut up… shut up… shut up…"
Yotsuba woke up to the sound of door knocks. She sighed. The bright, morning sun of spring lit up Yotsuba's room in a serene embrace. The fresh air that gushed through the window as Yotsuba opened it almost made her dream unreal. In her dream there was nothing except for a voice. A haunting voice that had lingered inside of Yotsuba's mind for longer than a month now. Yotsuba was wrong when she thought that the voice was gone after Hibari had scared it off. To her dismay, it came back the very next day, and all through the New Years holidays. This leaves daylight as Yotsuba's only escape. Sometimes it was even hard for her to go to sleep, in fear of the voice. Yotsuba didn't go get the door until it was knocked on a second time.
The clock read 6:30, and the sun was barely up. Yotsuba grumbled; she was getting less and less sleep. She stood on her tiptoes to look through the fish hole on the door, and in front of her eyes was Dino's golden finery. She contemplated whether or not to open the door, but decided to open it rather quickly. As she pulled the door open completely, Dino stepped up in front of her and greeted her with his charming smile. The smile soon dropped, though, when he noticed the dark circles under her eyes.
"Yocchan, what happened?" Dino asked, "Did I wake you?"
Yotsuba shook her head and stepped back to let Dino in. Dino frowned. The girl's face looked too pale, almost gray, to be fine. For a fifteen-year-old girl with health issues to live on her own is ridiculous, thought Dino. Yotsuba was the kind of hardheaded girl that rarely listens to other people's opinions. Dino knows that there is no way Yotsuba will listen to him and go back to Italy, and, truthfully, Dino thinks that having her on Tsuna's side would be good for the future. But looking at the girl's dreadful state makes Dino worried.
Dino sat in the armchair as Yotsuba made breakfast. She passed him a cup of coffee and sat down across from him with a cup of her own. As expected, Dino asked about her welfare again and Yotsuba looked down into her cup. Her thumb stroked the ring of her mug, as if that motion made her feel better. Dino placed his cup on the table and looked at her sternly.
"Yocchan," he began, "don't avoid it. You know you can tell it to me."
"Nothing's wrong, Dino. I've just been having a few nightmares," said Yotsuba warily.
"If you need anything, I'll be here," said Dino. Even if it's just my company, I'll be here.
"Thanks, Dino."
Then there was silence between them. Both of them drank their coffee and looked down. Yotsuba stopped fingering her cup and her eyes stopped at the corner of the table. Dino looked into his cup, stealing glances at the girl every other minute, unknowing what to say to her. It makes Dino quite frustrated, actually, that it's so hard for him to talk to her sometimes. It was as if he was the younger one. Can you believe it? An adult, fierce leader of Chiavarrone, is fixed by a little middle-school girl? Even after all these years, he still couldn't figure what to say to make her feel happy.
What Dino doesn't know is that Yotsuba actually felt really happy at the moment. Although acting childish most of the time, Dino is quite a person to count on. Year after year, Yotsuba unconsciously started to depend on him. Sometimes she even thinks that the clumsy and silly Dino is cuter than the serious Dino. But Yotsuba isn't the kind of girl that's easy to read; she liked to keep most things to herself.
Yotsuba was the first to break the silence. "So why have you come all of a sudden? At this hour, too."
"I heard that it's Parent Participation Day at school today," said Dino.
Yotsuba raised an eyebrow at Dino, who smiled mischievously at her, like a little kid.
"Dino," said Yotsuba seriously, "you're not coming."
Dino stood from his chair and sat next to Yotsuba on the little couch, still having that childish smile. "Yocchan, I'm the closest person to a parent that you have here! You might as well take me!"
Yotsuba rolled her eyes. "I don't HAVE to have a parent there. You'll just embarrass me!"
"No, I won't!" Dino pouted. Yotsuba thought that this picture looked as if she was the mother of this blonde boy. She rejected Dino again and again, swapping Dino's pleading hands away. Finally, after a good ten minutes, Dino decided to quit.
"Are you sure you don't want me there?" Dino asked again as he was being pushed toward the front door.
"You make tracks, Dino," Yotsuba huffed. "I'm sure you have more important things to do."
"Nothing is more important than family," said Dino.
She didn't say anything to reply. Dino smiled.
"You take care, Yocchan," Dino said as he stepped out the door, giving Yotsuba a knowing glance, and left.
Yotsuba listened to Dino's fading footsteps, staring at the sad, metal door frame while doing so. In her mind, she thanked him secretly. Then she hobbled sleepily up the stairs, checking the time to be 7:30. Darn, she thought, time to go to school. As Yotsuba put on her uniform and her un-matching shorts, she considered Dino's words a bit more. Parents Participation Day… what a bother. The Japanese sure are enthusiastic. Well, she hasn't ever attended school in Italy before, but this special occasion seemed useless to her. Even if her daddy was here, he probably wouldn't have the time to go, anyway.
But it would be nice, wouldn't it?
The chairs and desks in 1-A were all pushed forward a couple of feet to make room for the parents in the back. Most of the students seemed to think the same about Parent Participation Day as Yotsuba. Parents chatted in the back, denying other parents' compliments to their child yet boasting at the same time. The only parents not present were Yotsuba's, Gokudera's, and Tsuna's. Gokudera seemed to be annoyed at all the parents' chatters, and Tsuna seemed to be nervous about something. Yotsuba soon found out what Tsuna was nervous about as the classroom door slid open.
"Sorry, I'm late!" Sawada Nana came into the classroom chirpily, "I'm Sawada!"
Tsuna's jaws dropped and a doomed emotion eloped him. Yotsuba almost laughed aloud. The teacher cleared his throat, signaling that class is going to start. The teacher had a cheeky smile on his face.
"Now for the first question," the teacher said, "I'm going to pick on the person weakest at math!"
Yotsuba felt Tsuna tense up next to her. Then she felt Tsuna slump into his chair in relieve when the teacher called on Yamamoto. Yamamoto was suddenly in a pinch, but he just shrugged and answered with "1/2". The teacher began to scold Yamamoto for guessing, but stopped when he found out that Yamamoto actually guessed right. The whole class applauded and rooted for Yamamoto, and Yamamoto put his hands happily up in the air.
"Good job, Takeshi! We'll have Otoro tonight!" a rough and strong voice came shouting from the back of the room. All the students turned around, including Yotsuba, to see Yamamoto's father cheer for him. Yamamoto scratched the back of his head with embarrassment.
The students laughed. Yotsuba chuckled softly at the liveliness of Yamamoto's father. Like father like son, she thought. For a moment, she felt jealous of Yamamoto for having a father like that. She wondered if her father would cheer her on if it had been her that answered the question correctly. "I'm glad you came back safely, Yotsuba," is what her father would say to her every time after a mission.
I wonder… if daddy will ever think of me as a normal girl…
Yamamoto watched with interest as a half-naked Tsuna tried to teach the class "as if he was to die". This year's Parent Participation Day had been spectacular. First, the cow-suited boy and the Chinese girl came, and then Gokudera's sister came, too. Gokudera, of course, suffered from stomach ache again when he saw Bianchi. Then a very young teacher named Reboyama came in as a substitute teacher, and Tsuna seemed to have gotten very emotional at this teacher. Among all of the chaos in the classroom, Yamamoto glanced toward Yotsuba's direction, only to find the girl sleeping again.
Mikami's parents are not here, he noticed, and remembered that the girl lived on her own. One thing lead to another, and the memory of that one strange day emerged. The day of the year-end exam, when Yotsuba snapped at a senpai.
That day was very strange, indeed. When the senpai named Ishikawa asked Yotsuba out on a date, it was astonishing that the usual smart-tongued Yotsuba would lose her cool. Not so much by the rudeness of Yotsuba's tone, but the sincere hatred seen in her eyes. Even if Yotsuba didn't like the senpai in that way, she didn't have to be that hostile. Although Yotsuba has never been the friendliest girl he's ever met, he has never seen that kind of annoyance from her eyes.
"Uwoooo! You can't even get this right?" Even Tsuna's loud voice went right through one of Yamamoto's ears and out the other.
It's quite rare that Yamamoto would ponder for such a long time about something. But the longer he stared at Yotsuba, the more confused he got. Isn't Yotsuba the one that always bickers with Gokudera with ease? Isn't she the one that picks on Tsuna every other minute? Isn't she the one that came back unharmed after the after-school-session with Hibari alone? If so, then why did she have that kind of expression on that day? It was as if someone was controlling her mind.
That wouldn't be possible, concluded Yamamoto. Thinking really isn't a talent of his; the more he thought, the more puzzling the problem becomes. Maybe she's just lonely.
"Little clover… little clover…"
"Stop it!" cried Yotsuba, "Who ARE you?"
"Your parents didn't love you… your daddy doesn't love you… neither does your brother…" the voice chanted.
"Shut up! I… I don't care about what you say!"
"Everything I say is true," the voice snickered. "All your life you've been trapped in the world of mafias… did you really think you can find happiness there?"
"…"
"Little clover…" there was a touch of sorrow in the voice, "don't be fooled… don't be fooled…"
"Why? Why? Why?"
"Mikami!"
Yamamoto's voice fetched Yotsuba back out from her dream. She looked around. There was only Yamamoto and her in the classroom. From the color of the sky, she figured that school must've ended. Yotsuba frowned. Frowning was something that she's been doing frequently now. But this time she did not frown from the frustration of the voice. The voice had sounded a bit sad just ?
"Mikami, are you all right?" asked Yamamoto.
Yotsuba nodded absent-mindedly. Yamamoto didn't give it much thought.
"Mikami," Yamamoto asked, "My dad is preparing Otoro for tonight. I was wondering if you want to join us?"
"Eh?"
"Tsuna and Gokudera and the others would be there, too!" added Yamamoto happily.
Dazzled by Yamamoto's smile, Yotsuba was at a loss of words. Yamamoto looked at Yotsuba expectantly, his excited face making Yotsuba want to laugh.
Little clover… don't be fooled… don't be fooled…
Yotsuba opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. A buzzing noise invaded her head. She clutched at her ears with her fingers, making Yamamoto befuddled. He grabbed onto her shoulders and shook her softly, asking if she was okay. When Yotsuba wanted to speak again, the buzzing became a loud screeching. So loud that it made her gasp.
Yamamoto called out her name over and over; her strange acts were making him worried. She was clutching at her ears so hard that they might be pulled off from her head. It seemed as if she didn't want to hear something, but the classroom was quiet. He loosened his grasp on her shoulders and grabbed her hands instead, seeing that her ears were turning a scarlet color.
"SH—SHUT UP!" screamed Yotsuba. Yamamoto backed away a little, looking bewildered. Yotsuba glanced at Yamamoto with an apologizing look, panting heavily.
"Mikami?"
"I'm… I'm okay!" Yotsuba forced a smile. Yamamoto noticed Yotsuba's shaking hands on the edge of the table.
"You've been acting a little strangely recently," said Yamamoto bluntly. "Are you sure that you're okay?"
Yotsuba looked at Yamamoto, but did not reply. My, my, she thought, was it so obvious? Even someone as dense as Yamamoto can notice it.
"You know, if anything, you can talk to me about it," Yamamoto said, a smile back to his face. "I know I'm not the smartest guy, but it's not hard to listen."
Yotsuba felt her lungs tighten, then. She wanted to say it. She wanted to say it badly. Yamamoto will understand, won't he? She can be a part of this world, can't she?
"I'm afraid," said Yotsuba, still with that same smile. Yamamoto only paid attention to Yotsuba's shaking hands, and then to her shivering body. "I'm afraid that… one day you guys will reject me."
She had the perfect family. Until her father left her mother and her; ran away. Then her mother left her; didn't take her along. Then he found her. He took her in; gave her a new family and the best brother she could ask for. She was happy. It was like soaking in warm water. But then came power. Power took her brother away; she drowned. Again, she's lost everything.
"Your father ran… like a coward…"
"Wait for mommy to come back, Yocchan…"
"And you've never changed, Yotsuba. Still childish, immature… you don't know anything."
Icy words pierced her ears. Yotsuba grabbed onto the edge of the table, feeling weak. Yotsuba wasn't sure if she was speaking or not. The buzzing in her ears pounded on her head so hard that she couldn't hear herself. Maybe if she bit her tongue, she wouldn't even feel it.
"No one else here can put up with you!"
"One day… you guys won't need me anymore, and I'll be-"
Yotsuba couldn't finish her sentence this time. Yamamoto had placed his hand on her head, and when Yotsuba's babbling came to an abrupt stop, he smiled widely at her and ruffled her hair. Yamamoto had large hands, and with years of baseball he has forgotten to control his strength, so it kind of hurt for Yotsuba as he ruffled her hair roughly.
"Yamamoto…" Yotsuba murmured.
"You're not alone," said Yamamoto. His youthful and sincere voice embraced her heart. It was one simple sentence, but it gave her something to hold on to.
"You know, I tried to commit suicide once," Yamamoto began to say, and smiled at the expected-shocked face from Yotsuba, and continued on. "I thought I was useless because I'd hurt my arm, something I must use for the only thing I'm good at. But Tsuna... that amazing guy... he saved me. At that time, I thought... 'Can you believe it? A guy like him whom everyone called useless saved my life!' And ever since then, Tsuna has always been a great friend, and he's been great to everyone. And I think he wouldn't just ignore you for no reason either!"
Yotsuba stared at Yamamoto quietly, and looked down at her folded hands. She smiled at her own doubts and pushed them out of her mind.
Yes, I can't just doubt Tsuna so easily. It would be quite insulting, wouldn't it...
Seeing that smile return to Yotsuba's face, Yamamoto was relieved. Without saying anymore, he straightened up and made his way toward the door. Before exiting, he looked back at Yotsuba, and indicated with a nod to follow him to his house for the sushi fest.
Yamamoto led the way to his house, followed by Yotsuba, Tsuna, and Gokudera, who was a bit unwilling. There they met up with Reborn, Bianchi, Kyoko, Haru, and the two kids. They ate delicious Otoro, and the usual chaos took place inside Yamamoto's house instead of Tsuna's tonight. Yamamoto was happy to see that Yotsuba had gone back to normal. She stuffed "special wasabi sushi" into Tsuna's plate sneakily and replaced Gokudera's plate with Bianchi's poison cooking.
Everything was well.
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay by yourself?" asked Yamamoto, standing in front of his father's sushi shop with Yotsuba. It was a cloudy night. The moon was barely visible, and it made the dark night darker than expected.
Yotsuba nodded. "Don't worry. If anything, Kabi will protect me!"
Yamamoto smiled. "Okay, then. Be careful on the way home!"
Then she departed. She was feeling quite good on the journey home. The chilly night wind caressed her skin and she took a deep breath. For the first time in countless nights, she might be able to sleep without worries. She was still scared that the voice will come into her dream again, but she won't hesitate anymore. Because her friends are truly there.
Yotsuba stopped in her tracks abruptly as a blue personage emerged from the corner of her eye. She felt a chill in her spine. That person, she would never forget such a person. The person that made her feel sick; the person that emitted such a strong murder intent. Without much thought, she began to follow him. She knew that it might be dangerous to do something like that, but something inside her told her that she'll find something very vital if she followed him. Rokudou Mukuro.
Yotsuba moved about in the dark streets like a cat. Her footsteps blended in with each of the blue-haired boy's. Her breathing was so light that it faded along with the chilly wind. Yotsuba made notes in her head of the places they've passed by. Several minutes ago, they've passed by the Namimori shopping area. Yotsuba looked around at her surroundings and came to a conclusion that they were not in Namimori anymore. Bad feelings overwhelmed her, but she kept going. Finally, the boy entered into an old building. It was very torn down and gave Yotsuba an insecure feeling. Kabi protested inside Yotsuba's bag, trying to persuade her to go back.
"Shh!" Yotsuba hissed. "I have to go, Kabi. I just have to."
Yotsuba entered the building without a second thought. She had lost sight of the boy. She studied the broken stairways in the building. No, she thought, he must've gone upwards with something else. Then she discovered an emergency ladder that led to another room on a higher floor. Yotsuba gulped as she started to climb the ladder.
A theatre? She thought as she set foot in the new room. She scanned the room and her gaze landed on the big couch in the back of the room, where the blue-haired boy sat. Yotsuba felt sweat run down her forehead.
"Rokudou Mukuro…"
Suddenly two more presence appeared in the room. Yotsuba quickly turned around to look at the new company. Two boys, one with a scar across his nose and one with glasses and a white beanie, blocked her only exit out of the room. Yotsuba cursed in her head.
"Kufufufu…"
Rokudou's sick laughter turned Yotsuba's attention back to him. He stood from the couch and came close to the shivering girl. His smile was sinister, and it was almost too familiar for Yotsuba.
"Hello there!" Rokudou greeted. His voice made Yotsuba ice up to the tip of her hair. "Welcome to my territory, my little clover!"
TBC.
A/N: Ahhhh~ did anyone guess that Mukuro was "the voice"? Sorry if this chapter seems rushed! Because I was really rushed! Today was the only day that I had time to write this, so I tried to do it as fast as I can! I'll barely have any time to work on this for the next couple of weeks because I have final exams coming up and a bunch of crazy projects. I'm so stressed out right now! I'll work on it whenever I have time, though!
Another thing! Some of you are probably confused with all the italic parts that go with what Yotsuba's thinking. They are segments of her childhood memories, and I'm pretty sure that most of Yotsuba's past will be revealed in the next chapter! Please continue to read my story & review!