Hey Everyone, I am sooo sorry I have not updated in a while. This year has honestly been a crazy one with my family and I have had to deal with a lot. Things have finally calmed down and I intend to focus o this story.

Edwards POV

Previously

The car was silent for about a minute when Edward rasped out, "Bella, what are you saying, that…."

Bella finished Edwards sentence quietly, "Yes Edward, I was raped."

Chapter 4

I felt my body freeze at Bella's words. I remember the day Bella had told me she wasn't a virgin and how angry I was at her and furious at the man who she allowed to give her innocence to.

FLASHBACK

Running through the forest I could not help but think about what Rosalie had said back at the house. Who does she think she is talking about Bella as is she was a loose woman? Just because she had heard a group of girls talking at school didn't mean it was true. She should know by now to believe everything you hear.

As I was nearing Bella's house, I could not get the questions out of my head. Had she been with someone before me? We had never asked but I assumed with how quiet and shy she is, she had never. I had always had a vision in my head that we could be each others first even though it would be next to impossible and incredibly dangerous for her. I figured though, that it would not hurt to talk to her about this so we would always be on the same page.

Jumping up the tree and through the window I called out softly, "Bella honey, I am here."

Bella turns around and gives me my favorite smile. I know that this smile is and always will be just for me and the possessive part of me smiles with glee.

I return her smile and give her a passionate kiss. I kiss her almost as if I am putting a claim on her. She is mine just as much as I am hers.

When I pull her away, I see a sliver of curiosity pass through her eyes. I usually do not allow us to kiss like that and I know she is confused as to my motives.

"Hey Edward, what's wrong?" Bella asks.

I give her an innocent look, I am suddenly afraid to know what she has to say so I say, "Nothing Bella, I am just happy to be here with you."

She looks at me with an eyebrow raised and I know she has caught my lie.

"Edward, every time you want to keep something from me you put on that exact innocent looking expression," she says confidently.

I sigh. I know that I won't be at peace until I ask her but I feel guilty because it almost feels like I believe the lies that Rosalie heard but I know my Bella.

"I know Bella, I am sorry. It is just awkward. Rosalie said something to me earlier today and I didn't like it. I don't believe her at all but it has got me thinking."

Bella looks a little alarmed and asks hurriedly, "What did Rosalie talk to you about? Tell me."

I take a deep breath and blurt out, "She said she heard from a few girls at school that you had slept with a few guys and I knew that is not true. I know that if you were to give yourself to a man that he would be special and you cared a lot for him."

With my words, I get a little anxious as I watch Bella freeze. She has a look of horror on her face.

"Bella," I touch her shoulder softly, " Bella, are you ok?"

Bella loosens up a little but I can still see the rigid set of her shoulders.

She looks me in the eye and then looks quickly away. She takes a deep breath and says almost dead like, "Edward, I hoped that I never had to tell you, but no I am not a virgin. It was a horrible situation and one that I had always hoped would have never happened. I don't think about it often because I wish that it would just go away."

After I hear her words, I feel like I have been sucker punched in the gut ten times over. All I heard was that she was not a virgin anymore. I am filled with a white hot fury at the man who she gave herself to. How dare he touch what is mine, take what is mine? Then I think about who it could be. It suddenly dawns on me that it was Jake. When I left, I knew that they had gotten a lot closer and now he is in love with her. They were joined at the hip. My body fills with lead and the thought that Jacob and my Bella had been together, but I had practically pushed her into his arms when I left. I now have to live with the knowledge.

End of Flashback

How could I have been so stupid as to not ask her questions then? I was too selfish to really read her statement at the time. She practically had told me she was raped when she told me she had a horrible experience and that it should be erased. And now that I see her shrivel a little in front of me, I am suddenly afraid of the story that I know is about to be told.

I have to say something to her but I mouth seems incapable of forming any coherent words.

Bella smiles sadly and says, "It is not something that I ever wanted to tell you or anybody else Edward. Not even my parents know that was raped and I want to keep it that way, it would break their hearts."

I remain still, I suddenly don't want to know anything but I know that I have to hear it and cannot break Bella's words as she speaks to me.

"I was visiting a friend, Michael, in California. It was a year and half before I came here. He had graduated high school two years early so that he could be a specialist with the FBI. He was working with the local police until that happened. We were walking down a street in downtown. It wasn't a horrible neighborhood but it definitely wasn't one you walked alone at night on. We were there to pick up some food. Out of nowhere we were both shoved into a van. There were four Mexican men. They started to bring out ropes and that is when Michael started struggling and they knock him unconscious."

Her last words were spoken brokenly and I could not sit here and listen to her story when it was obviously hurting her. I wasn't going to let her placate me by telling me what I had previously needed to know.

"Bella," I say soothingly, "You don't have to tell-"

She cuts me off, "No Edward, I never wanted you to find out. I would have carried this story alone for the rest of my existence if I could but now that you know some of it I do not want you to have any questions or doubts. "

So she takes a deep breath and continues, "After they knocked out Michael, I then started struggling. I freaked out. They ended up tying my legs and hands together. One of the men started spouting off that I should have stayed out of the neighborhood today, that they had to kill us now that we had witnessed them. I had no idea what they were talking about and when I questioned them, they told me to not play dumb, they knew we had watched their transaction go down. I knew then that they were drug dealers and somehow they thought we had witnessed them trading drugs. I tried desperately to deny it and tell them that if they just let us go that we would not say anything. They just laughed and ended up taking us to an abandoned warehouse. While Michael was unconscious, the leader of the drug cartel raped me. We ended up escaping"

I knew that I was staring at Bella in horror and by the look on her face she had expected this reaction from me. I could also see that she had apprehension in her eyes and that she was scared. I thought she was scared of me and that hurt deeply but I realized that she was scared that I would be disgusted with her when I reached out and touched her face and she looked back in confusion.

I couldn't believe that she would think I would think any less of her so I pull her into my arms and whisper, "I love you so much Bella, and I am sorry that you had to go through that."