A Million and One Ways to Tick off Bloom

Yet another sign of boredom from Chibi Horsewoman

Summary: Exactly like the title says… except if we exceed a million and one I'm not going to complain. These are just suggestions on how to annoy Bloom. (Blodwyn if you watch the Welsh dub) I hope you like them

Disclaimer: Some days you feel like a nut- other days you remember to take your medication.

Dedication: Anyone who really dislikes Bloom and some of my reviewers for suggestions.

Chapter 7: Suggestions 101-121

101.) Tell Bloom that your New Year resolution is to be nicer to dumb ugly people and you're starting with her.

102.) Whenever Sky isn't around go up and ask her if Sky finally got his eyes checked and that brain donation and figured out that he doesn't want to be engaged to a princess with no kingdom and bad hair.

103.) Tell Bloom that her dad or that old guy from the movie is a liar. When she asks why tell her that in the movie it said that the sword her dad had was a special sword that could only be held by a great ruler and anyone else would be destroyed but the sword allowed Sky to hold it so obviously someone didn't check all their facts when they made the statement about the sword.

104.) Chop off that damn piece of hair that sticks up on her head! Why, you may ask? Because that stupid piece of hair annoys me!

105.) Go on holiday to Eraklion and manage to get real chummy with Queen Samara and King Elendor (1) who obviously hate Bloom. You can do this by telling them a lot of gossip about Bloom, sympathizing with Diaspro and them about their son converting to the dark side by falling for Bloom and mentioning Bloom's family history of mental illness. After you get back find Bloom and tell her about your holiday- make sure you bring the pictures of you and Queen Samara on shopping trips and at a day spa. Then ask her how it feels to know that her future in-laws like a total stranger more than her.

106.) Ask her what it's like knowing that she's someday going to be married to a big idiot. If she asks you what you mean, tell her you understand what she's going through because you were married to an idiot once too. If she tells you that Sky isn't a big idiot, put your hand on her shoulder and tell her to stop being in denial because it just isn't healthy. When she claims she isn't in denial offer her the name of a good therapist.

107.) Whenever she enters a room announce grandly in the loudest voice possible: Her royal high, high Highness Bloom of the frozen wasteland planet of Domino, Daughter of drag queen Oritel and some lady with horrid fashion sense. Fiancée of the biggest dork in the universe Princess Sky! Scream it even louder when she's running away from her problems again or about to use the washroom. (AN: This is a bonus because you don't just annoy Bloom you annoy her whole family.)

108.) Sigh loudly whenever she enters a room then say in a stage whisper to the nearest person, Damn, why does Bloom always have to come here and ruin everyone's fun?

109.) Plan a month long holiday for yourself and the Winx girls in the Hawaiian Islands accidentally on purpose forget to invite Bloom. When she demands to know why you forgot to invite her and what happened say: Sorry Flame head, but what happens in Hawaii stays in Hawaii. If she doesn't buy that, tell her that she couldn't come because you heard her passport was expired and you didn't want to embarrass her.

110.) Cold cock her then tattoo PWN'D on her forehead in large letters. Then join in on the pointing and laughing.

111.) Walk up to Bloom in a real calm manner and tell her in a monotone voice that 'They've sent you to kill her. If she asks you who they are, tell her they are your friends who were once her friends. (AN: Keep a camera handy incase she flips out, starts crying or runs away.)

112.) Any time Bloom goes to use the Dragon Flame, dump a bucket of water on her, when she asks you what you did that for explain that only YOU can prevent forest fires.

And now some words from my reviewers:

113.) Throw out all of Stella's clothes and burn them with a flame thrower. Leave a note saying Bloom did it.

114.) Get Baltor to put the love spell on Sky again. Bloom can watch him and Diaspro and try not to have a breakdown. (AN: Or not run back to Earth.)

115.) when Bloom asks where you got the new fur hat, say: 'I skinned a rabbit. Man it was hard to keep Kiko still' (Emberfire411's note: wear flame resistant clothes) (AN: Run like you have never run before! Oh and change your name to something else.)

116.) Ask Bloom what it's like to be in a love triangle with Sky and Baltor. (CHW: You should also ask her which one seems less girly)

117.) Knock Bloom out in the middle of the night and gag her. Then generously donate a redhead 'practice dummy' to the Red Fountain archery club.

Thank you EmberFire411.

118.) Give Bloom a buzz cut! (Love this one) (CHW: Anything would be better than that confused mullet she has going on now.)

119.) Find a spell that turns anyone into a slob then when you try it on her she stays the same (CHW: Don't forget to look really, really confused when the spell doesn't work or it may not sink into her head.)

120.) Get a knife and some blood from the blood bank get a rabbit identical to Kiko that's dead and put them all in her room! (Eco Friendly CHW says: Please to use a fake rabbit. It's kinder to animals. Besides you know she'd still flip out and not bother to check if it's real or not.)

121. Say "you know everyone says blondes are dumb but I think it's red heads with blue eyes!"

Thanks Dichabite

Almost four pages worth of Bloom annoyance. I'd like to thank my reviewers especially those who put in suggestions. I would also like to add that if you want to put suggestions in your reviews I will give credit for them, but please remember that spelling and grammar are important. My Beta and I are busy and if you do the spell check yourself it'll take less time for the updates to appear.

Thanks, CHW and Stills and Photographs

1.) According to an episode in season three those are the names of Sky's parents. If Samara sounds familiar it's because I used the name in All At Once.