Chapter 2: The Priest Goes Fox-Hunting
Hidan's POV
I sat alone in the kitchen, a bowl of ramen sat in front of me. The rest of the Akatsuki had retired to bed, leaving me all by my lonesome. Itachi and Kisame were off on some mission, but it's not like I was bothered by it. I didn't care much for either of them. They just got in the way of my rituals. Picking up the bowl, I slouched back in my chair and stirred the noodles with my chopsticks. Kakuzu had left to count his money in our room, so I wanted to waste as much time down here as I could.
I heard footsteps in the distance and sighed. I didn't want Konan to know I was in the kitchen unsupervised. I stood up and turned the light off, quickly returning to my seat and keeping quiet. I lifted my chopsticks to my mouth, ready for the next bite, but stopped. The footsteps had become louder, and now they stopped outside the door. Fuck. She was going to come in, turn the light on, and have a hissy fit at me for being here, as always. I swear that woman has PMS every day. Sure enough, the door opened, and I readied myself for a bitching match which I would most likely win. It was so easy to make women cry.
But the figure in the doorway didn't look like Konan. It was too small, and not the right shape. The light was flicked on and I cringed against the sudden brightness. I was dazed for a second, and partially blinded.
"Oh, gomen Hidan-sama!" My vision cleared enough for me to make out the facial features of the ninja standing in the doorway. "I didn't realize anyone would be here so late." The blonde hair, blue eyes and bright orange clothes were unmistakable. And so were the six whisker marks on his cheeks. I mentally kicked myself – I'd forgotten that Itachi's new plaything had remained behind. Still, I hadn't expected the kid to be so polite. I raised my eyebrow at him.
"What the fuck are you apologising for?" I asked with a smirk on my face. A blush spread across his face instantly, and he shrugged, shaking his head at the same time. "Well sit the fuck down. You're making the place look untidy." He quickly sat down opposite me, shrinking into himself as though he wanted to make himself as small as possible. There was a moment of silence, which was quickly broken by the sound of a very hungry stomach. My smirk widened as he blushed again. "Hungry?" I asked in a teasing voice.
"H-Hai." He responded sharply. I watched him carefully and a devious idea popped into my head. I was going to have some fun with this little blonde brat. Hiding any sign of my true intentions, I held out the chopsticks I was holding. His eyes widened in surprise before beginning to sparkle. Despite myself, I actually found it slightly cute. I held back laughter as he actually leant forward. I thought he was going to take the chopsticks from my hand, or even just take the noodles that dangled at the end, but to my surprise – and amusement – his lips parted and he moved forwards, aiming to take the noodles into his mouth. My mind was screaming with innuendo, but I bit my lip to stop them spilling out. I quickly snatched the chopsticks away and put the noodles into my own mouth, watching as his grateful expression became a scowl. "Bastard." I heard him mutter under his breath.
"Get your own fucking noodles, cocksucker." I mentally snickered at the reference to his movement earlier. I swallowed my noodles and motioned over to a cupboard with the empty chopsticks. "They're in the cupboard over there." He got up sharply and pulled a packet of Miso Ramen from the shelf. I couldn't believe he actually fell for that trick I pulled. "Fuck Jashin-sama." I muttered, amused. He clearly knew nothing about me; otherwise he would have known that I was never nice to someone – unless I wanted something, of course. Like having my head sewn back on. I noticed that he stayed by the counter long after his ramen had cooked nicely. I chuckled to myself, glad that I had annoyed him that much. Of course, I wasn't done. "What's wrong?" I stared intensely at his back, knowing how much it unnerved some people. He shivered – it was only slight, but my eyes missed nothing. "Got a fucking problem with me?"
"Yeah, actually teme!" He growled at me. I was mildly surprised at the sudden anger in his voice. It was such a change from the polite, almost shy tone from earlier.
"Ah, big words for a fucking short ass like you." I snickered. Just how short was this kid? I had a feeling that I was going to get a lot more fun out of this than I expected. Kakuzu didn't engage in arguments how I wanted him to. I didn't want someone to calmly put me down like it was nothing – I wanted anger, because anger led to physical fights, and that's what I love best. He spun around to face so sharply I was surprised (and disappointed) that he didn't fall over.
"I don't have to fucking listen to this, I'm out of here." He stomped out of the room, and I raised my eyebrows.
"Fuck me…" I murmured. I glanced over to the counter and noticed the steaming bowl of ramen. Rolling my eyes, I stood up and walked to the door. "Oi, oi. You forgot to finish your fucking ramen, wasteful asshole." I yelled after him. He stopped in his tracks, turned, and marched back. I turned and returned to my chair, amused at how pissed off he was. He collected his ramen and scowled at me. I couldn't help but smirk right back at him. He kicked my chair on the way past, and gave me the finger.
"Fuck head." He hissed, slamming the kitchen door behind him. I stared at the closed door for a moment, before laughing. That kid sure had some fire power hidden away. I glanced at my chopsticks and looked at the remaining noodles in my bowl. Shrugging, I threw the chopsticks at the door, embedding them neatly about halfway up. Another thing for Konan to bitch at me for. I tipped the bowl back and emptied the contents in a few large gulps. I left the bowl on the table and wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. I pushed back from the table with an irritating screech and left the kitchen, deciding that I couldn't avoid Kakuzu forever. Knowing my luck, the bastard would purposely wait up until I decided to go to bed, just to annoy me.
I glanced at the closed door to Itachi's room as I stood in the hallway, and smirked. I bet that brat didn't even know that my room was directly opposite his. I kicked open the door, adding another crack to the chipped wood.
"You're going to pay for that door to be replaced, you know." Kakuzu's voice called from the far end of the room, where he was sat with a briefcase of money and a calculator. I snorted and slammed it shut, taking off my cloak and throwing it down on the bed.
"Like fuck I am." I flopped down on top of the sheets and kicked off my boots. "Oh shit… I forgot to pray to Jashin-sama. That brat distracted me." Kakuzu turned to fix that all too familiar look upon me. "What? I meant Itachi's brat. The blonde kid." When there was no sign of recognition on his face, I rolled my eyes. "Oh for fuck's sake, Kuzu. The Jinchuuriki." He said nothing, but turned away from me again and began tapping into his calculator. "That's fine. Don't show any fucking interest. I forgot that money is all you fucking care about." I sat up on the bed. "Now where did I put that pike?" Now Kakuzu showed an interest in me.
"You are not doing that stupid, pointless ritual in here. It can wait until the morning." He snapped at me. I scowled at him.
"Asshole." I threw myself backwards onto the bed and glared at the ceiling, where I'd fondly painted Jashin's symbol in blood. Kakuzu hadn't been as pleased with it as I was, and I was certain that Konan didn't know about it yet. "Just for that, it's gonna be fucking twice as bloody tomorrow morning." I yawned widely and wriggled out of my pants, kicking them off onto the floor. "Don't wake me up when you decide to fucking switch off that money-obsessed shitbrain of yours." I slipped beneath the covers and turned onto my side, saying a quick prayer to Jashin before allowing sleep to take over.
*
The next morning, I was rudely woken up by something sharp whipping across my face. I bolted upright, clutching my cheek, and I turned to glare at Kakuzu. A single black thread was slowly disappearing up the sleeve of his cloak.
"What the fuck was that for?" I snapped at him. He didn't reply, but returned to adjusting the cloak around his neck.
"The bathroom is free. You may want to take advantage of that before Deidara wakes up." I shot out of bed in an instant, not bothering to throw on any more clothes. Deidara had a nasty habit of spending hours in the bathroom, and although we had more than one in the hideout, he always used up all the hot water. The bathroom wasn't far from the room I shared with Kakuzu, but I ran there just in case the stupid blonde transvestite had woken five minutes earlier than usual.
Once inside the bathroom, I closed the door but did not lock it. If someone wanted to perv on me in the shower, they were more than welcome to. I found a suitable towel in the closet beside the door and hung it on the rail next to the shower. Then I stripped off my boxers and turned on the shower. Kakuzu often mocked me because I liked my showers close to scalding, but it was how I'd always done it. He was just jealous because his own skin was too sensitive for such hot water. I showered quickly – living and travelling with Kakuzu had taught me that if I wasn't quick, then he would most likely shut the water off to save money. Cheap bastard.
I towelled off my hair, admiring how it flopped carelessly down over my face when it was wet. I fixed the towel around my waist and threw my dirty boxers into the wash basket next to the sink. Konan hated doing my laundry, and so I made sure to always dump my clothes in whatever wash basket was available. I cracked my neck as I walked over to the door, enjoying the slight sting of pain that came with it. My hand closed around the door handle and I pulled the door open. And smirked.
Naruto stood in front of me, clearly surprised to see me. I noticed his eyes glaze over slightly, and they lowered, staring at my exposed body. I realized just how low I'd tied the towel around my waist, and smirked when his eyes stopped on a certain area just below my abdomen.
"See something you like?" I teased him. His head shot up and I saw alarm in his eyes. He hadn't realized he'd been staring, obviously. I couldn't stop the cocky grin from spreading across my face. He grunted in annoyance.
"You wish." The insult didn't sting at all – I'd gotten used to Kakuzu constantly putting me down. Besides, plenty of others had told me I wasn't exactly unattractive. I couldn't resist the urge to have some more fun with him. He tried to shove past me into the steamy bathroom, but I stepped in his way and my smirk widened.
"Are you sure about that, Naruto-kun?" One of my hands trailed from my collarbone, down over my wet body, and towards my left hip, where I'd tied the towel. His eyes followed my hand as it went, and so I toyed with the tie, slowly and teasingly untying it. His eyes were glued to me now. I allowed the towel to slip further and further down, so far that I actually felt a cold draft between my legs. It was so low now; just a bit further and there may as well be no towel at all. I couldn't help it, but this slow, agonizing tension was actually starting to turn me on. Heat flooded to my crotch, and I wet my lips in anticipation. What was Naruto going to do? He suddenly flushed bright red and ducked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I breathed a sigh of – relief? – and then laughed. My plan had worked, after all. I walked back to my room, holding the towel at my hip just in case someone else happened to wander up in this direction. Kakuzu was gone when I walked into our room, which was probably a good thing.
I replaced the towel with a fresh pair of black pants, and slipped on my shoes. I dragged a comb through my hair gently and lovingly, combing it all back out of my face. Kakuzu and I didn't have any missions, so I didn't bother to slick it back like usual. I even let a few ice-blonde strands hang down over my forehead. My stomach rumbled and I sighed in exasperation – looks like breakfast would come before my ritual this morning. I opened the bedroom door, and saw a flash of blonde. Ducking back into the room, I closed the door again, leaving it ajar slightly. Naruto had just returned from a speedy shower, and he was dressed in nothing but a towel. I smirked. He had a pretty nice body for a brat. He disappeared into Itachi's room and swung the door shut – but not quite all the way. It stopped just short of the doorframe, and Naruto didn't seem to notice. Without quite knowing what I was doing, I quietly slipped out of my room and closed the door behind me. Then I crept over to Itachi's door and peered in.
My throat closed up slightly and my mouth watered. Naruto had dropped the towel and was beginning to bend over – right over. He was standing next to the chest of drawers beside the double bed, and he was opening the very bottom drawer. I watched as he rummaged around inside the drawer, clearly looking for a specific pair of boxers. My pants were starting to get uncomfortable as I watched him, and I was actually relieved when he straightened up, holding a pair of orange boxers with some sort of design on them. I decided that he'd put on enough of a show, and I quickly exited the hall, making for the kitchen.
I ate a quick breakfast, wanting to get started on my ritual as soon as possible. Kakuzu was counting money as always, and Sasori was fixing what appeared to be the arm of a puppet. Deidara was quite happily stuffing his face. I exited via another door located near the back of the kitchen, and was about to prepare for my ritual when I heard the other door open and close. I quickly ran through the possibilities. Itachi and Kisame were away, and Zetsu never ate at the table. Konan and Leader-sama rarely showed up to eat with us. That just left one other occupant – the feisty blonde brat from Konoha. I peered through the open doorway and spotted the back of his head. Perfect. He was sat with his back to this door, meaning I had the advantage of surprise.
I waited until he was halfway through his breakfast before I made my move. Picking up my trusted weapon from against the wall, I stepped into the kitchen and motioned to the others not to say a word. Deidara gave me a confused look, but I ignored him. Then without warning, I swung my scythe low to the ground, managing to avoid knocking anything over. The blades easily sliced through the legs of Naruto's chair, and the blonde toppled backwards with a loud crash. His eyes squeezed shut as he hit the floor, and he winced in pain. I smirked when I realized that he'd landed with his head directly between my legs. Everyone was staring at us, wondering what the hell was going on. Naruto's eyes met mine and I saw a raw anger dart into those blue orbs. I couldn't help it – I began to laugh, hysterically. It couldn't have gone any better. He stood up slowly, taking measured breaths. He turned and shoved me forcefully, and I stumbled backwards into the doorframe, cracking my skull on the wood. As I rubbed the back of my head gingerly, he stomped past me.
"You're paying for that chair." Kakuzu commented. Sasori rolled his eyes and went back to fiddling with the puppet arm. Deidara was looking at me with wide eyes, and his face was the picture of shock.
"Fuck you, Kakuzu." I shot at the stitched-nin. I noticed the half-eaten breakfast in front of what was once Naruto's chair and I snorted in amusement. "Tch. Didn't even finish his food, the asshole."
"That's because you didn't let him, un!" Deidara snapped at me. He was frowning at me now, clearly over his initial shock. "That was mean, Hidan-sama." I shrugged. I didn't give a shit what Deidara thought about me. And anyway, wasn't that the idea? We all heard the sound of the front door open and slam closed, and panic rose in Deidara's eyes. "Oh no! He's left the hideout! Oh man, Itachi is going to kill you, un." He said to me. I rolled my eyes.
"Oh, yeah. Like fuck." I replied. I turned to leave, already annoyed that my ritual had been delayed, but a hand grasped my wrist. Staring down at the familiar dark skin, I turned and shot a glare at Kakuzu. He was still going through his money, but he slowly shifted his eyes in my direction. "Get the fuck off me!"
"Apologise to Naruto-kun, Hidan-sama!" Deidara demanded. "It clearly upset him, un."
"I'm not fucking apologising. Fuck that shit." I hissed. Why would I want to do a thing like that?
"Hidan." It was Kakuzu who spoke next. "If you do not apologise to Naruto, I will personally see to it that your head will be permanently separated from your body." I scowled.
"Why the fuck do you care?" It certainly wasn't like Kakuzu to get involved in something so petty, and I was actually surprised to find that I was jealous because he was taking Deidara's side.
"Because your bickering is disturbing me." I shook his arm free, angry.
"Fine. I'll fucking apologise." I put my scythe down and stormed out of the kitchen, ignoring the glare from Kakuzu. When I got to the front entrance to the hideout, I scowled. Why did everyone care so much about this stupid kid? He was the Jinchuuriki that we'd been searching for since the very beginning, and yet no move had been made to extract his bijuu. So what if he was Itachi's brat? Not like the Uchiha could do anything to me if I killed the blonde boy. I felt a familiar bloodlust rise in my chest, but I forced it back. Leader-sama would probably kick me out if I killed the brat, and although I hated to admit it, the Akatsuki was my only home. I spotted Naruto standing not far away, and I walked over, feeling very uncomfortable. I stared intensely at him for a moment.
"Will you get fucking lost, or stop staring at me?" He barked rudely without turning around. I shuffled around awkwardly, and sighed.
"I-I, uh, fuck, I'm sorry. Really. I mean, uh, I was… I didn't mean… fuck Jashin! I'm just fucking sorry." I was never good with apologies. I guess when you don't say it that often, you never know quite how to word what you want to say. I waited for a response from the blonde.
"Whatever." I didn't expect the short response. What did you expect, a hug and a kiss? My inner voice mocked me, and I ignored it. I wanted to ask Naruto what his problem was, but he never gave me a chance. He strode past me and went back into the hideout.
"Oh my… Jashin." I murmured. "What the fuck? Who the hell does he think he is? I just fucking apologised – me, Hidan – and he fucking acts like he's all high and fucking mighty. Well fuck him. That's the last time I fucking listen to Pretty Boy and Stitch Face." I scowled and stormed back into the hideout. I spotted Deidara lurking nearby and I flipped him the finger before he could speak. My ritual was delayed enough as it was, and fuck it I needed some fucking release. I had a strong feeling that this ritual was going to last a lot longer than usual.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter of Anger to Adoration! This chapter was written by homesweethomicide13, and the next chapter will be written by BelieveIt! Please remember to review! Thanks :D