Three hours…I looked at the clock as I sat on my bed. I prepared myself physically and mentally for this party. My military print ruffle dress lay on the bed beside me. Zack offered to buy it for me since I apparently made his day by asking him to be my boyfriend for tonight. I told him the whole encounter with Jean-Paul and he said that he was going to make sure Jean-Paul was going to stay away from me. In his words, he was going to show affection towards me and be so close to me that we were going to be attached to the hip the whole night. That didn't sound great to me, but I needed to let him to do that to make it believable that we were in fact together. This was the ticket Zack needed to be undeniably close to me. I was not looking forward to this at all. I ended up using a creep to keep away another creep from getting closer to me: the smartest idea of all time…not.

Lily walked in the bedroom, looking tired as the rag in her hands was stained with her stale vomit. I tried not to laugh. "Is the car clean now?"

She sighed and nodded. "Yes, I cleaned out all the shit that came from my mouth. Your car now smells like alpine trees."

I grinned and hugged her. "Thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah," she threw the rag in the trash can. "I'm going to take a shower now," she went in my bathroom and locked it. Lily offered to clean my car since she was the whole reason why it smelled and looked like shit when we got it back. At least my car got cleaned. One less thing to worry about.

I lay on the bed and thought about Zack again. What the hell did I have that made him like me so much? Apparently my sassiness took part in it, but what else? Maybe I wasn't like other girls who would jump on him or flirt with him like crazy. I was the exact opposite of that. I showed anger towards him and completely stayed away from him every time he tried to get close to me. I never showed any signs of love to him…unless he was seeing the whole "stay away from me" thing through a different point of view…like a kid's perspective. Obviously when kids were young, the way to show they liked someone was making fun of them or pretended that they hated them like Helga from Hey Arnold. Helga would push Arnold away, but deep inside she loved the guy to death.

I got up from my bed. Hold up, what was I saying here? That I liked Zack? That I was showing affection to him through anger and hatred? What the hell? I was 19 for Pete's sake! I wasn't a fourth grader. Love was not a game, but did he think I was playing this game to get his attention? Who did he think he was? Too many questions for me to handle here; way too many questions unanswered, but would they ever be answered? Questions kept piling up in my head and I wasn't able to control it. Did I like Zack? Did I? Did I?

"No," I told myself. "You don't like him, Jenny. It's just your heart tricking you," but what if I was in denial? "You're not in denial, Jenny. You don't like Zack in that way," but what if I was just hiding what I truly felt? "I never hide my feelings," but what if I was just scared to be in a relationship? "I'm not scared. I'm just," but what if I was? "No! I'm," what if…"Quit with the "what if" questions! I don't like him! Ugh!" I buried my face on my pillow. "I hate Zack!"

"You like him," a voice said behind me.

I looked up. Lily had this huge smile on her face.

"You are having a mental breakdown, my friend," she sat down beside me. "Don't hide what you feel."

"I'm not," I mumbled. "This is how I really feel." Lily had a concern look on her face. "Trust me."

"Okay then," she stood up. "If you say so," she left the room.

I rubbed my eyes. What was wrong with me? I had a full conversation with myself on a guy. I almost broke down because of a guy I didn't like…or I thought I didn't like. I slammed my head on the pillows. My heart and mind were in a conflict. Should I let my heart win?

I shook my head and got up from the bed. I needed to put that thought aside and pack my clothes in my backpack. Since the party was going to take place at the Hilton Hotel, the "not so clean" after party was going to take place in the hotel rooms…yup. That meant I was going to share a room with no other than Zack because why would Lily want to share a room with me since she had Jack. I made sure though that there were two beds in the room. I was not going to sleep or make out with Zack.

My parents were going on this honeymoon thing so they wouldn't be home until tomorrow night, so I was able to stay overnight. I didn't really want to stay, but I wasn't going to bring my car so I had to stay overnight at the hotel. Hopefully Zack didn't get too drunk and go all over me or else he was going to receive a black eye as an early Christmas present from me.

Just to let you guys know, the next chapter will be the party and the not so clean after party (maybe). Thanks for reading!