This chapter is dedicated to Sobriquet Queen for her review - all her reviews, actually - but specifically for her most recent one, which came the closest thing to poetry I've ever seen in a review. Also one of the most flattering I've gotten, in my opinion. For those of you too lazy to go look at it and be in awe of its awesomeness, here it is: "Haunted, irate, confused, perfect. Update soon."

Thanks so much, Sobriquet Queen! I always look forward to your reviews.

I really didn't want to switch POVs in this, but I tried for a long time to write this in Jacob's perspective and it wasn't really working (Plus, I kinda wanted to explore Edward's pain in this). So, this is in Edward's POV. My apologies.

When I first heard Jacob's petulant, angry thoughts towards me at the very beginning of this whole affair, when he had first made the deal with me, I had no doubt that he would truly kill me were the opportunity to call for it. I had thought for sure that he would have no qualms about killing me, the same way I would have no qualms about dying.

I was wrong on only one account. On the one hand, I was ready - more than ready, willing to die. Every pore of my body was screaming for the relief that death would surely bring as they screamed in their fiery agonies. But Jacob did have qualms. He wouldn't kill me. And I would stay on this earth and suffer.

Well, that wasn't true. I would find another way. I knew that this time, going to the Volturi would be much harder. Everyone would expect it, and everyone would try to stop me. But I would find a way. They couldn't watch me forever. And Jasper - Jasper, the always-steady, always-there, pillar of calm energy and rational mind - Jasper agreed with me.

The part of my mind that wasn't buried under an ocean of grief was feeling the strongest gratitude I had ever felt. It was partly so intense because I wanted Jasper to feel the depth of it, and partly it was purely instinctual.

What I understood, that everyone else did not, was that Jasper didn't want me to die. Far from it, he would be among the most grief-stricken when I was gone. But he also saw - and felt, more so than the others, which was probably helping influence his decision - how much pain I was in now. He wanted me to be free from this pain. And he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for it.

How many times had I told Bel - her - I was selfish? And not just her, Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie, and even Emmett a few times had all been told how selfish I was. And each and every time they had denied it. I wasn't selfish, they said. I was the supreme example of unselfishness there was. This from Carlisle, who obviously couldn't see himself at all.

But they had to see now, didn't they? How selfish I was being by wanting - and willing to do anything for it - to be dead? It would hurt them all, very, very deeply - Esme especially. And yet, I was still willing for it to happen - praying for it, hoping for it with every fiber of my being.

I was an evil, horrible person. I was a murderer and a monster and I didn't deserve to live, but that wasn't even why I wanted to die.

Please, God, please. I never prayed, but I found myself doing it now - please just let me escape. Let me feel nothing. Let me feel absolutely nothing. Just strike me down where I stand, let me die for all these heinous crimes I've committed.

But of course, nothing happened. Carlisle wasn't right. He had never been right. How could you die when you had no soul?

"But Jacob - you made a deal," Jasper said to Jacob, and his anger flared again, clear in his thoughts: He cant force me to do anything, and I won't. His eyes met mine, and I could practically feel the anger blistering out of my eyes, but Jacob just met my gaze calmly, coldly, with no mercy whatsoever.

I swore under my breath.

Jasper's thoughts were just as forceful. If that stupid dog won't do it, I will rip him limb from limb and give his carcass to Caius as a birthday present.

So I said I would do something, Jacob thought coldly, glaring at Jasper. Five words and a handshake is enough to condemn a man as a murderer?

Figuring this would infuriate Carlisle more than anything else and put him on my side, I translated quickly, my voice as dead as I soon hoped to be.

"Man," Rosalie scoffed, speaking for the first time. She glared at Jacob and said three words that almost made me content. Not happy - I would never be happy again - but it did lift me a micrometer away from the rock bottom I was resting at.

"Jasper is right."

All annoyance, all hate for Rosalie that I had been feeling for nearly a month disappeared instantly. Thank you, Rosalie!

Two of the six remaining people in the family agreed with me. I was getting closer. I would achieve my goal. I would be at rest soon.

Which brought me to another thought. It was awfully philosophical for the current situation, but it came, unbidden, anyway.

It seemed hard to believe that so much pain could just vanish, like that, the second I ceased to exist, but I realized that was what I had been hoping on all this time.

But even a little pain left would be all right. I deserved a little pain. Well, more than a little; every decibel of pain I was in was deserved. But that didn't mean I wanted to feel it. What I wanted to feel was her, in my arms again.

Then my breath caught in my throat, and anticipation welled up inside me. What if - what if Carlisle was right and I did see Bella again? What if she could be with me again in just moments, hours, days? I could survive if I knew that I would see her again sooner or later.

It didn't occur to me that moments ago I had just rejected everything Carlisle stood for, and that if I had had a chance before it was surely gone now. All I could feel was hope - hope, bubbling up and burning away the pain like it was acid. It didn't all diminish, of course, but it was tolerable, now - for a while, that was. It was most easily comparable with the pain I had been in during the entire time I was away from Bella after her birthday party. Not enjoyable, not even tolerable, not really - but endurable. I could endure this for a while. So long as I could still hope, I could be patient.

Patient enough to say goodbye to Bella properly.

It suddenly occurred to me what I had done - left her body rotting away upstairs, blood still fresh. I hadn't even covered her or closed her eyes, I had been in such a haze of pain. But now, what I must do seemed obvious - I had to have a funeral.

We had to have a funeral for her before I departed this life. I couldn't just leave her there. I would convince the others to put this discussion on hold and we would hold the funeral.

A moment later, I realized that the funeral needed to be held while I was still alive for more reasons than that I wanted to be there. I would not leave my family to deal with making up excuses for her death - I would have to personally tell Charlie. Myself. I wasn't that selfish as to hand the job off to Carlisle or someone else.

We - Jasper, Rosalie, and myself - would force Jacob to attend. We would make sure he didn't escape. And when the funeral was over, we would force him to do what he had promised, and I would be at rest.

It was a good plan.

I spoke slowly, choosing my words as I went in reaction to the other's thoughts.

"I think that maybe it would be…best… if we put this conversation off a bit -" I started, then hearing the utter surprise in Jasper's thoughts, hurried on quickly. "I think it would be…most prudent…if we held Bel-her funeral while I was still here -" How calmly I spoke about my own death! And I kicked myself for stumbling over her name. "I will not leave you with a web of lies to spin up carry out. I will take care of all of it. And then, after that, Jacob, you and I, we have some business to take of," I said, smiling grimly at Jacob before turning my thoughts to the rest of the family.

Jacob was livid.

So…what did you think of Edward's perspective? That was actually a lot easier than writing in Jacob's…I think I connect to Edward better :-)Next chapter will probably be in Edward's again, telling Charlie about what happened, unless I get millions of reviews that say "YOU SUCK WRITING EDWARD!!!!! YOU BETTER WRITE MORE JACOB OR ELSE!!!!!!!" Anonymous reviews are turned on, I don't care if you flame. Just review!

Goal for this chapter: 7 more, putting me at 25. You can do it!