Carly touched Matt's elbow lightly, drawing his attention away from his old friend. "I'm going to grab something to drink, do you want something?"
Pulled away from the story and an old memory, it took a moment for Carly's words to register. Once they did, the groom's eyes widened immediately. "Oh no. Let me get it for you!" He gave his friend an apologetic smile and turned towards the bar.
Again, Carly's hand reached out to touch Matt's arm. "I don't think I'll have much to talk about with your old college roommates, Matt." She gave her newlywed husband a wry grin. "It's really not that far from here."
"Are you sure?" questioned Matt, still looking like he was ready to make a run for the bar.
Carly nodded and then stood on her tiptoes to give him a light kiss on the cheek. "I'll be right back."
She could feel his eyes on her as she left the table, so she put in a little wiggle to her hips before turning around and fixing him with a wink. She laughed out loud as he turned red and tried to focus his attention back on his former roommate.
What followed was an uneventful, yet uncomfortable walk to the bar. Carly could feel eyes digging into her skin from every direction. That didn't bother her too much, though. In addition to being something she had been mentally prepared for given the sheer size of her wedding, she had been a celebrity since becoming a teenager. If she could stomach having the world watch her during the most awkward years of her life, she could withstand this barrage of gazes at her when she was feeling more beautiful than she had ever felt before. No, the real discomfort lay on her feet, or rather in her shoes. The ivory satin heels added about 2 3/4" to her height, and held her feet in place with two asymmetrical, satin uppers studded with glittering rhinestones that beautifully complimented her pale skin. Ruffled white cloth anchored the straps close to the sides of her toes. They were truly beautiful shoes, which meant that they had to be as uncomfortable as possible by necessity. Otherwise women would wear them everywhere.
When she finally arrived at the bar, Carly wished that she had taken Sam's advice and just worn a pair of white sneakers. While she and the rest of her bridal party had gawked at her best friend when she initially suggested it, Carly was finally beginning to see the wisdom of Sam's words. The pain was almost not worth it, especially if no one was looking at her feet. She had started to grumble to herself that people better be looking at her feet when she noticed Mandy standing alone at the bar.
One of Mandy's arms was resting lightly on the bar while her other lightly manipulated her flute of champagne: tracing, shaking, moving. Meanwhile, her eyes flew from person to person, lingering long enough to toss a flirty smile at any handsome men who stopped by. It was a familiar stance to Carly, who had spent most of her adult life without a serious boyfriend. Mandy was on the prowl. But that couldn't be right.
After fighting back her brief moment of confusion, Carly grabbed the attention of her former fan by lightly touching her arm and exclaiming, "Mandy! It's so nice to see you here!"
A grateful smile instantly appeared on Mandy's face as she found herself facing the newlywed bride. "Thanks for inviting me, Carly! It's easily the most beautiful wedding I've ever attended."
A lot of money had gone into validating those words. Carly smiled graciously in response to the compliment. "So I bet Freddie was as surprised to see you as I was!"
Mandy blinked in surprise at the sudden conversational shift. "Ah, yeah. I guess he was." Her eyes drifted to her half-imbibed cocktail. A wistful smile formed on her wild rose lips as she admitted, "I really caught him off-guard. You should have seen how red he was."
The bride's expression brightened suddenly. "So then you two hit it off, right?"
A puzzled expression was Mandy's first answer, followed by a conclusive, "Huh?"
"You and Freddie. You hit it off?" The volume of Carly's words died away with her confidence in her assumption.
"I don't think I'm his type."
"Really? I thought you two were a good match."
"I think Freddie's actually into," Mandy's eyes flicked upwards, "darker brunettes."
Carly right eyebrow rose high. "Uh, okay."
As the darker brunette struggled with Mandy's cryptic statement, the producer recognized no flash of recognition or apology on Carly's face. That meant that, as incredible as it sounded, Carly had no idea about Freddie's feelings for her. It was an emotional land mine of epic proportions that Mandy wanted to have absolutely no part in. Mandy's right hand slowly reached for her drink. "Don't worry about me, Carly. You've provided me with plenty of good looking guys. I won't be alone for long." Cocktail in hand, she raised it in Carly's direction then moved towards a tall, dark stranger who had been watching her since before Carly arrived.
The dazzling smile Mandy had shared with her before walking away lent credence to her last statement. How had Freddie passed her up? The girl was so gorgeous that Carly was tempted to hit on her. After eating lunch with her during their first meeting in who knows how many years, Carly recognized that Mandy had matured into the type of girl worthy of a good guy like Freddie. She'd immediately invited her to the wedding and shifted around the seating arrangements so that they would be seated next to each other and sharing the table with older, attached couples. A young, beautiful, single girl at a wedding; it was like Carly was serving her up to Freddie on a silver platter.
"What will you be having, miss?" called a voice from over Carly's shoulder.
Carly fixed a smile on the bartender before answering, "I'll have a little white wine, please."
As the bartender reached for a snifter to fill with wine, Carly's thoughts of Freddie drew her eyes towards his seat; which was currently empty. Her eyebrows furrowed together. Where had he gone off to? The bride's eyes drifted towards the center of the dance floor where a makeshift clump of people had gathered together. Technically he could be in the middle of that crowd mingling, but Carly spared herself the trouble of scanning through their faces. Freddie wasn't exactly the mingling type.
Even when they were kids, Freddie would only venture into a crowd if she was somewhere inside of it. Carly grinned with the realization that most of Freddie's social interactions when they were younger were thinly veiled attempts to be close to her. How different would he be if they hadn't met? As she began to imagine scenarios of Freddie sitting alone at a computer, desperately hoping his mother wouldn't come in to bother him, Carly realized that she hadn't really asked a fair question. After all, where would she be if she hadn't met Freddie?
Sure, people had always told her that she was pretty, but she hadn't really come into her own until iCarly. The show had raised her out of the obscurity of the normal high school crowd. She wasn't just an average teenage girl. She was the namesake of one of the most popular web shows on the planet. Her newfound, undeniable popularity produced a self-confident aura within her that hadn't existed beforehand. She could say with absolute certainty that without it, she wouldn't be where she was today. And she could say the same thing about Freddie, because iCarly wouldn't have been the hit that it was without his expertise. Or, she realized with a soft smile, his absolute belief in her.
Carly turned around to find her drink waiting for her and the mildly attractive bartender attending to someone at the opposite end of the bar. She must have drifted off for a while. After fumbling around for a purse she didn't have, Carly sheepishly realized that she didn't have any money on her to tip with. Left with no other option, her eyes darted back and forth furtively as she discretely grabbed the drink and began to wander off.
The mischievous nature of her action made Carly more intensely aware of the eyes she had been easily shrugging off all day. She shuddered as she made eye contact with a nice looking, silver-haired woman who was nevertheless a complete stranger. The shudder was almost immediately suppressed by the calming thought that she was the bride of the wedding. She was supposed to naturally attract the attention of everyone around her. And she had only known her husband Matt for two years. Of course there were going to be strangers.
A nagging feeling forced her to carefully examine the table to her left, and then more quickly and slightly more desperately the one to her right. She didn't recognize a single face at either of the tables. Two, large, complete tables completely occupied by total strangers.
All of her life, she'd only wanted a small wedding. If there were strangers, it would only be a few of her husband's friends who lived too far away for her to have had the chance to meet beforehand. This was leagues beyond that. How had it come to this? Ever since she was a little girl, Carly had only wanted to share her special day with a few close, personal friends.
She had divulged her childhood dream to Matt soon after their engagement. He had smiled that dazzling smile of his and promised like the perfect man that he was that he would take care of everything. Normally she wouldn't have accepted his offer, but she was in the middle of transitioning from correspondent to anchorwoman. Plus, it was such a novel and luxurious idea to have her husband take care of all of the details of the wedding.
She trusted him with the sort of blind devotion reserved for those still basking in the glow of fresh love. Far too deeply into the planning of the wedding that Carly had run into the priest from her old church and discovered to her horror that Matt hadn't contacted him at all. This huge shock was quickly compounded with miniature aftershocks as she used her reporter wiles to sniff out the details of the wedding and find almost all of them at odds with her dream ceremony.
The fiery confrontation the evening after her meeting with the priest had almost sent their wedding plans to a crashing halt. Matt's claim that he was putting something together that was grander, more magnificent, and more worthy of her fell on deaf ears. After all, she was the bride. What she wanted should count for everything.
Or so Carly yelled over her shoulder as she stormed out of his house. As the week went on and the break-up loomed heavily in the horizon, everyone she complained to seemed to side with Matt. The invariable argument was that he wasn't doing anything wrong. So what if he wanted to spend more money on their wedding? That was a good thing. Carly should marry him before some other woman took advantage of her ridiculous complaint and snatched him away. Some of her friends even offered to be that other woman.
Only two people had sided with her: her two, longtime, best friends. Their agreements were suspect, however. Sam had always seemed to have something against Matt, and Freddie would even take Carly's side if she decided that the sun was normally purple. Eventually Carly had caved into the steadily increasing pressure from her friends, fans, and fiancé. Well, actually he was now her husband.
He was a man who had forcefully spent a tremendous amount of money on the event. Matt was a surgeon, but he wasn't making enough to cover an event of this magnitude easily. Initial attempts by her father and herself to help shoulder the cost had been shot down with the assurance that all of the excess was his idea and therefore his responsibility to take care of. Freddie would eventually point out to Carly that when they were married, Carly would be sharing that burden anyway. Armed with that argument, Carly again confronted Matt and was finally let in on the secret that the local tabloid had offered to pay for the wedding in exchange for exclusive rights to any images taken at the wedding.
He hadn't told her about the arrangement at first because he was afraid that it would start a fight. It turned out his fear wasn't off the mark, though for a different reason. Carly didn't really care about the deal. She actually thought it was a financially sound idea. She was upset that he had again hid something from her. The issue was eventually smoothed out with a solemn vow that he would never keep anything from her again.
And so the rest of the wedding preparations had gone off without a hitch. And as a result, months later here she was the bride of a wedding the likes of which she could have never dreamed of … and didn't really want.
She wasn't suffering under a panic attack, but any sense of levity she had been feeling left her body with a last, deep exhalation. She looked left then right, seeing everything but recognizing nothing. Just when she was about to let a sad feeling enter her mind, she felt a strong pair of slender hands wrap around her shoulders. Green nail polish over pale skin assured her that it was Sam who was pushing her body forward.
Carly closed her eyes as she sank submissively into the strong, slender hands of her best friend. As her feet moved past the tables filled with people that she didn't know at a pace and path set by Sam, her ears focused on the sound of the band as it drifted above the constant drone of the wedding guests. The song was another jazz standard, "Lullaby of Birdland" if Carly's memories of her father's records weren't off. As the singer's sultry voice evoked the image of two turtledoves the music's volume was blown away by a stiff, cool breeze.
The bride slowly opened her eyes to find herself on a balcony overlooking a busy downtown Seattle sidewalk.
At some point, Freddie had retreated from the balcony's handrail. The answer he had been searching for in the crowd had hidden itself behind the form of one too many happy couples. Rather than irradiate the oblivious lovebirds with waves of jealousy and ill will, he had taken a seat on the floor of the balcony against the peach colored hotel wall. With his arms wrapped around his bent knees, Freddie had been listening to the sound of breeze crashing against his ears when his two friends burst into his reverie.
His recognition of the situation was instantaneous. He could easily pick Carly's form out of the middle of a tightly packed group. When you gave her an additional distinguishing flag, like say a wedding dress, figuring out who she was from behind wasn't much of a challenge. He was in the process of deciding whether to speak up or sneak away when Sam's face turned in his direction to give him a sharp look.
After a couple of deep breaths, Carly moved towards the edge of the balcony. "Thanks, Sam. I really needed a break."
"You know me, Carls," answered Sam, her face still turned towards Freddie. "I'm a master of knowing when things are going to break."
The mocking words and matching smile drove Freddie to his feet. While he dusted his backside with his hands, he announced unenthusiastically, "Hey guys."
Recognizing the voice, Carly quickly spun on her heels. "Freddie! I was wondering where you ran off to!"
While Freddie braced himself to receive his second tackle-hug for the day, Sam stepped directly into his field of vision. As Carly crashed into him, the blonde woman drew his eyes towards her lips and its steady, knowing smile. After narrowing his eyes at the persistent moment destroyer, he wrapped his arms around Carly lightly for a brief, polite period of time. His hands slid over smooth silk covering a soft, firm, warm body. His reluctance to let her go was easily overruled by Sam's widening, predatory grin and the absolute knowledge that the longer he held on to Carly, the harder it would be to let her go.
After disengaging from each other, they stood a couple of feet apart. Sam quickly stepped in, completing the familiar triangle of their youth. "Just like old times," commented Sam as they all exchanged nostalgic smiles.
"Except we're all grown up," commented Carly.
"And you're married," added Freddie in what would have sounded like a normal tone to anyone except for those that knew him best, two of which he was speaking to.
"Well if any of us was going to be married, it was Carly," shot Sam quickly, not giving the brunette enough time to look questioningly at Freddie. "I think it's a failed, broken system and Freddie over here never really did have much luck with the ladies."
"Hey, wait a minute …" started Freddie.
Carly interrupted Freddie's repartee by speaking up, "That's not true, Sam. I actually invited someone to the wedding because they were interested in Freddie!"
"Oh?" Sam took an exaggerated peek into the ballroom. "Who am I looking for? Ugly, fat, or old?"
"Sam!" chastised Carly as she gave her friend a playful slap on the arm.
Freddie's eyes remained glued on Carly. "So you invited Mandy here just for me?"
Carly aimed a grin in his direction. "Well, I figured with the size of the wedding, one more wouldn't hurt."
"Wait, wait," interrupted Sam, her right hand waving back and forth. "Mandy, 'I'm your biggest fan' Mandy?" Carly's nod sent the blonde woman into a set of belly laughs. She reeled backwards, grabbing the handrail for support as laughter wracked her body.
Carly was preparing to explain to Sam how beautiful Mandy had become when she noticed the puzzled expression on Freddie's face. "Are you okay?" Freddie looked away as soon as she called out to him; a sure sign that something was on his mind that he didn't want to share.
It was a sign that Sam recognized as well. Her laughter subsided into a broad smile as she maneuvered behind her brunette friend. Sam's face hovered over Carly's left shoulder as she parroted, "Yeah, what's wrong, Freddie?"
His normal response would be to shrug it off as nothing, but factors were beginning to stack on top of each other: he hadn't slept in days, he didn't want to be there, he had felt such a release trashing Matt's pictures, Sam was flashing that annoying smirk of hers, and, most importantly, Carly was asking him directly. So rather than shrug and shift the conversation to a new topic he looked directly at Carly and asked, "You barely know her, yet you invited her to your wedding. It's … are you happy with this wedding, Carly?"
A pregnant pause developed while Carly gathered her instantly shattered thoughts and Sam reclaimed her original position in the triangle to get a clear view of Carly's face. Eventually, Carly gave the automatic response she had developed over the months. "Any woman would be ecstatic to have a wedding like this."
"Not you," said Freddie with a speed and fervency that surprised even him. The words tumbled out of his mouth in a steady stream and a warm tone that suggested he was recalling a fond memory. "You wanted to be married in that old church with the broken steeple that your parents were married in because their marriage, though unfortunately short, was the happiest, most love filled example you've ever seen. And you wanted a small guest list filled with only your closest friends so that we could all fit comfortably in that old, small church, and so that you could spend time really talking to and making memories with each and every guest. You wanted to hold a Battle of the Bands to find a local garage band …"
The torrent of words was interrupted by Sam placing her hand on his arm. When his eyes shifted to her, she said softly, "That's enough, stupid." She then brought his attention back towards Carly with a nod of her head.
The newlywed bride wasn't crying, though there was a slight shimmering to her brown eyes in the waning light of dusk that suggested that that condition might be looming the horizon. The watery orbs looked directly into his eyes as she limply asked, "How … why did you remember all of that?"
The man who had spent most of his life watching her recognized that she had retreated into her thoughts. Anything she said between now and when she had recovered would be a superficial, reflexive response. Freddie stepped backwards, only then realizing that in the heat of the moment he had broken his vow of not ruining Carly's special day in any way. Since he had no way of turning back time and taking back his outburst he stood wide-eyed as he struggled for a way to bring her spirits back up.
He ran out of time long before he could come up with a solution. Carly's young cousin, the same one who had served as an usher during the ceremony, burst into the balcony. After a yelp of excitement he grabbed Carly's hand and started dragging her back into the building.
"Hey, squirt!" shouted Sam. "What are you doing?"
"Matt promised me five bucks if I could find Carly for him!" yelled the boy as he disappeared through the opened balcony doors, the still stunned bride offering no resistance as she was led back into the heart of the reception.
Carly gradually recovered as her cousin pulled her farther into the room. Her eyes became acclimated to the bright lighting which gave the crowded room enough visibility to see each other. She passed table after table of strangers who all smiled as she passed and wished her well. Her ears became accustomed to their buzzing interactions with each other and the band playing music that appealed to her father. By the time she could make out the tall form of Matt sharing a story with a captivated table audience, Carly had rediscovered the truth of Freddie's words. It was something she had locked deep inside of herself as the weeks progressed to help keep her sanity. She wasn't happy with this wedding. This wasn't the type of wedding she wanted. It was grandiose, and gaudy, and so superficial. This was the type of wedding she hated.
"I got her!" exclaimed the mini-usher as he released Carly's hand and rushed up to Matt.
"Nice job, kid." A folded five dollar bill was exchanged in a clandestine handshake before the groom glided up to and wrapped his arm around his wife's waist. "Come on, Carly. I want you to meet the ER nurses. A few of them are huge fans of yours."
"Oh, sure," answered Carly automatically, her tone wooden and lifeless.
The handsome doctor led her towards a nearby table, his grin wide and oblivious.
"And it was just getting good," sighed Sam as the pair disappeared through the doorway. After shaking her head, the blond woman shot a sideways glance at Freddie. "Saved by the bell, huh?"
Freddie's eyes shifted off to the side where Sam was conveniently not standing, obscuring most of his face in the shadows of the waning sun.
Sam's appraisal of Freddie's current mental state was that it was close to how he had appeared when she had first seen him: broken and lifeless. The fact that he was refusing her company was a good sign, however. There was still a spark of something hiding in him, and she couldn't wait for him to light that fire. With a shrug of her bare shoulders, Sam sauntered back towards the ballroom. Before she disappeared through the arching doorway, she called out, "Don't worry, Fredward. You'll tell her next time."
Left alone on the shadow shrouded balcony, Freddy began to worry.
He had a feeling he just might.
Author's notes: Well there's the perspective shift. I added Carly's thoughts to expand on the second (arguably the first) disruptive element to the wedding, which I alluded to in previous chapters but I felt was buried too deeply beneath Freddie's anguish.
In my head, I'm currently seeing at least three more chapters. The overall plot is pretty much figured out, but finding time to write has become difficult for me. Thanks for reading, and I'll do my best not to keep you waiting too long for the next chapter.
Falling Further