A'mari'k's POV

The blows had come, quick and fast. I was just picking up the last arrow when Jakesully entered the cove. They startled me so that I nearly dropped everything I was holding as I gaped at them. How had my warriors allowed them to come here? Did they think I had already left? I was outnumbered.

Two Na'vi grabbed my arms roughly and bound them behind my back, forcing me to kneel before the very Na'vi I hated the most. "A'mari'k," Jakesully boomed, "you are charged for the murder of your mate and for the attempt to assassinate Head Warrior Siryanan and Adviser Toranyu."

"Charged?" I shouted at him, glad my voice did not betray the fact that my bowels had practically turned to water, "how can that be? There are no charges! You have never charged anyone!"

"There are now," Jakesully replied lamely. "You are the first Na'vi who has attempted a crime so severe in much time, and we think a charge is appropriate."

"I have done nothing!" I spat, "you have nothing to prove my guilt!"

A sad smile spread on Olo'eyktan's face, and he motioned the Na'vi holding me down to stand. I was then half pushed, half hustled into walking behind Jakesully towards the Home tree. I could barely believe what was happening, but I knew at any time now, my warriors would come and hack off his head. My warriors would save me.

But they did not come.

"I did not do anything! I have not done any wrong!" I shouted again and again, but no one gave any indication that they cared what I said. Then Jakesully felt pity for me, and told me dispassionately, "you will be given a trial during which you may strive to prove your innocence. If you have truly done nothing wrong, you have naught to worry for."

I was silent for the rest of the short, uncomfortable trip. I was thinking of all the ways things might have happened to lead to this, about what could've happened and what I could say to get myself out of this situation. I could not think of anything after that, not even of Ma'hi, the face of whom became more and more vivid in my mind. I came to the Home tree, where a large amount of Na'vi had gathered.

They stopped their chatting when they saw me, and all faces fell. I felt like a disgrace, walking bound and humiliated. Yet I kept my head high- I would fight until the end. There was still hope yet. However, more and more I was noticing that something was wrong. There was no indication at all that an attack had come through here. Where were my warriors?

I was thrust carelessly to the ground, and I could not even catch myself before I fell. My hands had been bound by a thick rope and I fell face first into the dirt floor.

There were two chairs in front of me, and I knew immediately who these were for. "Na'vi of the Omaticaya tribe," a feminine voice sounded somewhere to my left, "We are gathered here today for a grievous trial." It was Neytiri. I righted myself up but she refused to look at me, instead addressing the crowd. "Head Hunter A'mari'k is charged with the attempted murder of Siryanin of the Horse Clan, and the death of his own mate. Ma'hi passed on when Eywa's light lifted away. Eywa took her spirit with her. Let us be content that she is happy and carefree."

Here I saw red for an instant- Ma'hi was dead? I remembered Jakesully mentioning something about that, but it was now that it finally sank in. I stopped struggling completely and sat dumb as Neytiri recited all that I had done. I could not hear her.

"I am innocent," I told her defiantly, which caused the crowd to murmur, their voices rising and falling like the buzzing of an irritating insect.

Tsahik spoke no more and took one of the seats before me. Jakesully walked before me and fixed me with a poisonous glare, and I knew at once that whatever I said or pleaded would make no difference. He sat beside Neytiri, and the trial began.

"Please," I said at last, "tell me how my mate died. I tell you that I am innocent!"

Neytiri spoke at once. "She was poisoned- her sister Yishat found her."

I acted furious, "so it is Yishat who has poisoned my mate?" I still maintained my dignity.

Jakesully scoffed. "Of course not! It was you who poisoned the fruit that she ate. You in fact intended to poison the members of the Horse Clan, but Ma'hi had a craving and tasted the fruit, causing her unfortunate passing."

"I would never poison anyone! Why would I want to do that? Besides, I have no knowledge of poisons- Yishat is a hometender, and has knowledge of what herbs may kill. She is jealous of her sister, who is mated whilst she is not." I searched the crowd for Yishat's colored beads, and I found her just at the edge of the crowd. She was pale as she looked at me, and many eyes followed my eyes and scanned her for any signs of guilt.

Jakesully smiled grimly, "You fell in love foolishly with the Horse Clan's head warrior Siryanin, and wanted to mate with her. However, she rejected you and thus, in your moment of anger, you poisoned the fruits that were to be delivered to her."

"But it was Yishat who delivered the fruit, was it not? How do you know that in the first place? It is not true! I am mated to Ma'hi!" I felt my palms sweating, my whole body growing cold and very tired. I was being backed into a corner, and I looked left and right for any of my warriors that would stand by me, but they had all disappeared. One blow to the next, I could not put together the pieces of the puzzle that left me here.

"Stop blaming the poor Yishat," Neytiri snapped impatiently, "Why would she poison the Horse Clan's head warrior, whom she barely knows? The girl has no political standing and would gain nothing. Doubly, her sister has died from a consequence of your foolishness. Yishat held nothing but love for her sister. She is soon to be mated, and therefore she had no jealousy and no reason to harm her sister. How dare you pin your sins on her?"

"Furthermore," Jakesully added, "the fruit she was eating was tested. The poison seems to be of the kind the warriors used to dip arrows and blades in. Yishat would've had no way of getting such poison."

I drawled tiredly, "so one of my warriors poiso-"

"It was none other than you, and here is your warrior to prove it." Jakesully cut me off and motioned with his hand. Then, none other than Zuku stepped out from the crowd, looking very distressed. Ti trailed behind him, looking equally worried. I stared at them blankly but with much rage. Traitors, I thought, you are cowards and traitors! Why would you do this?

"Warrior Zuku," Tsahik called, "We see you. Please, tell us what you have seen."

Zuku cleared his throat, and began his tale without once looking in my direction. "I ended training today and the Head Warrior demanded that I rearranged the fruits in the basket the hometender Yishat had brought. It was an odd request, but seeing that everyone else was very busy, I complied and tried my best. Some time after I touched the fruit, my hand began to itch, and now…"

He put up his hands, where a swelling had developed all along his fingers and up to his elbow. Several Na'vi gasped, and Neytiri shook her head. "It is the same as what had happened to Ma'hi," she said sagely, "you will not perish, but your arms will irritate you. It is unfortunate that you are another consequence of A'mari'k's foolishness."

"I hope you are happy," Jakesully began, "that now the Horse Clan will deny any further transactions with us. I imagine this will pass over time, but you have shunned this clan."

"I would not try to kill Siryanin," I swallowed thickly; "it is an accident!"

"Tell me then," the Olo'eyktan leaned back in his chair, "did you plan to unite the warriors of our clan and of hers?"

"…No!"

"So there is hesitation. Please, Warrior Ti, tell us what you have seen." At his words, Ti stepped forward and spoke quickly,

"Just today, before the light began to lift, the Head Warrior conversed in length with the Head Warrior Siryanin. He spoke of a joining of the warriors of both clans, and then he brought up a… Personal joining. Siryanin was not pleased, and tried to attack him, but he disarmed her, causing her much stress. It was by acting to comply with what he asked of her that she was able to escape from him. When she did not return to him, Head Warrior A'mari'k became very agitated, and when Yishat the hometender came bearing fruit from Ma'hi, he poisoned them and sent them to Siryanin."

"That is not true... I am already mated…" I said, knowing that all was lost. I could not believe I was to end here. But they could not kill me- what would they do with me?

I had the thought of blaming Zuku, for it was he who waited for me with the poison in his hand. But then I realized that this was a plan of my own making- Zuku had just been there, holding a bowl of the poison we so commonly used to anoint our weapons. I had taken it and turned it into a murder plot without any urging on his part. He was innocent. Why would be betray me like this? I could not understand it.

"That is what you say... However," someone said, I could not tell who it was anymore. I felt faint. "it seems you are scarcely affected by the passing of your mate. Have you something to tell us, A'mari'k?"

I could not speak. Jakesully closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "You are guilty of murder, A'mari'k. This is not the Na'vi way."

What do you know of the Na'vi way? I wanted to scream, but I could not. I felt a hundred disappointed and angry sets of eyes at me, but I was more confused than anything.

Tsahik continued mercilessly, "you will be retained in a protected area of the Hometree, and will remain so there until we have decided upon your punishment. Do you have anything more to say?"

There was a silence, which I broke by laughing lightly, causing Jakesully to cock his head to one side. "What if I told you that I was part of a plot to destroy this whole clan? A plot that included many more warriors, some of whom are here right now?"

Tsahik sighed, "That would only increase the scale of your punishment, A'mari'k. Unless you can name them, you would only be bringing more harm upon yourself by admitting such a thing."

"I can," I told them, watching Zuku stiffen just slightly.

"But have you evidence?" Jakesully asked, leaning forward.

I thought of the weapons we had made immediately, and brought it up to Jakesully, who turned to Zuku. "The Head Warrior A'mari'k had us make them for preparation to join forces with the Horse Clan. We did not know it would come to this, and he had assured us ahead of time that they would accept. We made them with honest intentions, Olo'eyktan." He looked down, and summoned a heartfelt statement, "I am quite horrified at what has become of our leader."

"You-" I flung myself at Zuku, who did not even flinch. I could not make it far, and only fell on my side, causing me to cry out.

"Enough!" Jakesully waved dismissively, and the crowd which was then roaring, quieted down. "You have no evidence against these honest warriors. Furthermore, it was they that informed me of your whereabouts and what had occurred. Why would they sabotage their own plan? We will see you soon, A'mari'k."

I was hauled out in a similar fashion as how I had arrived. I shouted my innocence at the top of my lungs, but it did not make a difference. Eventually I became mute, and was thrown into an empty room. This was where I was to wait out my sentence. I had been here once before, to laugh at those who were too ill to be cured. This room was small and cramped, and should contain absolutely nothing. Yet I looked in a corner and saw a hole dug for me, I looked at another and saw a bowl of food. Jakesully had taken much pity for someone like me. I collapsed then, losing grip of the sturdy floor beneath me as it gave me a harsh kiss.

Two nights passed, and no word came for me. I knew already that I was doomed, with no hope for release. Jakesully knew of my plan all along, and so of course he would cease this opportunity to capture and retain me. But what would he do? Just as a trial and sentence had not been done and dealt for a long time, neither had an Olo'eyktan truly had to punish a Na'vi for a crime so severe.

I was given some bread, fruit and water each day, but I always starved for more. I knew they would not deny me a greater portion had I asked, but my pride did not allow it. The Na'vi who came in and out of my cramped holding room regarded me with curiosity, but none spoke a word in my presence, which added to my insanity. Each day I mulled angrily over the reason all had deserted me. No answer came.

Finally, on the third day, Zuku came to visit me.

"You are disgusting," he said when he took in my disheveled appearance. I lunged at him at once, but found I had no energy left to harm him. It would do me no good. Instead, I slid to his feet and uttered a single word: "Why?"

"Oh, surely you must know by now."

Relinquishing all the pride I had, I shook my head miserably.

Zuku looked about to make sure we were indeed alone, and sneered at me. "At first I thought I saw something in you- we all did. We saw a way of getting back at Jakesully, who had taken much from us. You were just the figurehead, the one leading the movement but being lead yourself.

We needed a leader with passion and direction, and at first you had it. But then you became insecure in your choices, changing them left and right. You were no longer reliable, which was proven when you lashed out upon us. You were not fit to be our leader, and we could no longer trust you to execute yourself properly. Finally, you failed in the last bit of your plan, and Jakesully had found us immediately- we waited for too long."

"You could've defeated him and all the others," I said brokenly, "Why didn't you?"

Zuku stared at me with empty, cold eyes; cold eyes that I had never seen on him before. "As I said before, A'mari'k, he offered us much. I want another son, A'mari'k. I would be able to raise him with the increased rations. My mate did not know of all this, and I had been ready to leave her, for all my brothers and my son were killed in the war. But now- now I have a new chance. So does Ti, and the rest."

"Why did you have to do this to me? Why could you not have made up a lie?"

"It is because you know too much, my dear brother." He hefted himself up with a rosy smile and headed to the door- I did not move to stop him, staring dumbstruck. "Do you not understand?" He shook his head and laughed, "you were never very bright. I had to lead your thoughts constantly. Now you have become a liability that we must dispose of, in case you should speak a word of us. You almost did- Jakesully knows we are as guilty as you, but he needs his warriors to feed the clan. This is why we must have a leader, even if he is dumb and conceited. It saves the rest of us should something go wrong.

"Perhaps one day we will find another Na'vi, bring him up for him to believe he is important, and one day we will have our freedom. But not now, no. You are not the one, and now is not the time."

And with that, he was gone. I was frozen in shock for a while, listening to the children playing outside, Zuku speaking with a guard… Suddenly I was deaf save for a hollow ringing in my ears, and the truth hit me like a bunch of frantically scrawled words.

I then let out a wail so loud, it seemed to shake the great tree itself down to its roots.

I was still horror-struck by Zuku's words when Jakesully entered my dimly lit room. The place now smelled of vomit and stunk of sweat, from all the times I doubled over in frenzy. He was alone. I looked up at him tiredly, and pleaded with my eyes that he have mercy. I was used, I wanted to say, but it would not deter his sentence.

"Tsahik and I have decided upon your punishment. You are now stripped of your position as Head Warrior, forbidden to own any weapons in the future, and will be confined to a corner of the hometree where you will study with the home tenders. You are also to have no prolonged contact with any warrior except Tsu'tey, and will work exclusively with Lady Mo'at and Yishat, if she wishes to accept you. Each moon cycle, Lady Mo'at is to dictate to Tsahik and I an account of your actions. You will learn her craft and make yourself useful, and you will not cause any further trouble for us."

"Who will be Head Warrior?" I asked dazedly, though I already knew the answer.

"Tsu'tey, of course. He is willing to accept you as his friend and brother, as he will soon mate with Yishat."

I brought myself before him and knelt at his feet, feeling three nights' worth of pent up panic and severe distress wash through me. It was done, and they were lenient- they had not cast me out, nor have they taken my life. I could still find happiness.

It was useless to plead to him now- he would not listen or would not believe me. Yet I saw the pity in his eyes and knew he understood of my suffering. I was not evil- I was simply lost, and I was used. He himself was used as well- unable to persecute the true offenders for the sake of the clan. Such was the responsibility of the Olo'eyktan.

"Thank you," I rasped, unable to believe what I had been told, "I thought I was to be exiled or sentenced to death!"

Jakesully shook his head slowly, allowing an oddly paternal smile to show on his face. "Even from before I came to this world, I did not believe in death as punishment. Even the lowliest creatures can accomplish great things, something I know personally. I had always believed in rehabilitation and transformation, not death. Each life is to be treasured, A'mari'k, and I hope one day you will begin to accept that. I want you to forget about all of this, and hopefully you may forgive me for being what I am.

"You will now join the mourning for your friend, Ma'hi. I understand you were close with her, even though you were not mated." He touched my shoulder gently, and I could not help but press my hands to my face to stop the tears of joy, feeling my breath come in great gulps and gasps.

"Thank you," I told him again, but he pulled away from me.

"Do not thank me- it is Eywa who has taught me the true meaning of life, of being alive and constantly transforming. You must give her your thanks. Bring your head to the life-giving soil and sing your praises to her, for she has given you a second chance."

Yishat's POV

To Na'vi, death is both mourning and celebration. However, for Ma'hi, no one knew just how to act. She had not been ill or old, and she had not accomplished much. She did not have any children or grandchildren, and so it was my parents and I who were responsible for her ceremony.

Thankfully, the dreadful swelling had disappeared, and my sister was looking much more like herself. I took a soft cloth and drew it across her body, washing her gently. She was no longer limp, but was firm and smelled sickly sweet.

"She would probably like it if her hair was washed," Paiiyi said to me as she fingered Ma'hi's oily hair.

So we washed her hair, scrubbed it gently in a basin of water as if she were alive. I was transported back to just a few moon cycles ago when I was blissfully unaware of A'mari'k's intentions, and all I knew was that my sister was suffering. I'd washed her hair then, and together we became closer without knowing it. Now I was repeating the same actions, but under some much different circumstances. Ma'hi's hair was thick and shiny, and I knew she would've made a perfect mother.

Paiiyi was drying her hair now, smelling the thick strands and nodding her approval. "She is with Eywa now."

"I know- but why did she take her… When I needed her?"

"Oh, come now…"

From then on, we worked wordlessly. I clothed her in her best dress, the one she rarely wore save for special occasions. Paiiyi was arranging fragrant flowers in Ma'hi's hair when my mother stepped into the room, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. I thought she was going to faint, what with the way her legs started shaking.

"I am well, Yishat," she told me when I approached her cautiously, "I never thought this day would come so soon." Her brow furrowed and I knew she had been through it all. The anger, the depression- she'd accepted it. Mother was always good at hiding her emotions, but still I worried if one day it would all become too much. "Why did he have to take her…" she was mumbling, eyes wild. "Why did I give her to him?" Suddenly she stopped as if in mid sentence, and looked at me.

She held me and wouldn't let me go- "You will mate with Tsu'tey, yes?"

"Yes, mother." With a slight bitterness in my heart, I realized that my mother saw me as a shadow of Ma'hi in some way. Things were happening all over again- her daughter was going to be mated to a reputable warrior, and they would have sons. Many sons. It was a way for her to shy away from the bitter pain of Ma'hi's death.

"I can't bear to look at my poor daughter- I feel unwell. I am going to rest until the ceremony, unless you need me?" My mother was desperately trying to escape this room that smelled so strongly of death and unspoken words, fading memories.

"Of course, mother."

Tsu'tey was waiting for me when Paiiyi and I emerged from the Home tree with Ma'hi's corpse in our arms, covered with a pure white cloth. In our clan, death is a public matter, and all Na'vi would send their good wishes towards the spirit and prayers to Eywa. Ma'hi had always liked attention, and she would've been proud if she'd seen the sheer amount of Na'vi that had been waiting for her.

We brought her to a tall, beautiful tree with old, rough bark that she so loved to lean against ever since she was young. At the roots of the tree, a slight hole was dug where she would lie. The tree's roots would cradle her, and when she became one with the soil, her physical body would live on in the tree.

No one spoke a word as I lowered Ma'hi to her last resting place, the wind caressing my face like a soothing song. I was numb with sorrow but also swelling with gratitude that this was all over.

Jakesully and Tsahik walked forward, hand in hand. "We are truly sorry for your loss, Yishat."

I bowed respectfully, hearing my mother break down into sobs for the first time in so long. My father was there, holding her upright and reassuring her with his logic that Ma'hi was finally happy.

"She passed in pain," Tsahik said without preamble, "but that makes her release even sweeter. Eywa will reward her for the honest choices she made."

Then the flowers were thrown. One by one, Na'vi approached Ma'hi's grave respectfully and set a flower to her breast. Eventually Ma'hi was so covered with flowers and beautiful things that she looked ethereal. She was beautiful in death, even more so than on the day of her mating ceremony. She looked as if she were only sleeping.

Suddenly the crowd parted like a piece of bread being broken in half. There was A'mari'k, in a plain tunic and humble beads. He had a haunted look about him, and no one knew what to say to him. I knew that if Jakesully and Tsahik were not here, these Na'vi would not have hesitated to throw rotten vegetables or some such things at him. But Jakesully was here, and regarded A'mari'k with something akin to pride. "So Ma'hi's closest friend is here. What do you say, A'mari'k?"

Tsu`tey moved forward to shake his hand, and I saw A'mari'k hesitate. "You called me brother," Tsu'tey said to him as his hand met the other's, "I still see you the same way."

A'mari'k came to the root cradle where Ma'hi was held, and stepped back. He gingerly dropped a delicate, pink flower into her grave. I remembered it as the flower he had brought to woo her such a long time ago. "I cannot express my extreme sorrow at what has happened. I do not feel I am deserving of..." He did seem genuinely upset and very overwhelmed. Not being able to complete his sentence, he seemed a child, utterly hollow and defenseless. Yet I personally did not believe he received a proper sentence. I would have to work with him, teach him the craft of basket weaving and fruit picking- see him every day, the murderer of my sister, the one who tried to accuse me of his own crimes. I could not believe this was what Jakesully saw as punishment.

Speaking of Olo'eyktan, he turned to me now and motioned me to come forward.

Once again, Eywa was drinking up the light and spirit of Ma'hi, causing the nearby flora to glow brightly. Tsu'tey pushed me forward himself, but not before whispering a few words in my ear:

"This is your last night, Yishat. For one night, you are Eywa. It is your duty to release your sister's soul."

Shuddering under the weight of all these expectations, all this growth and awakening that I couldn't quite understand, I started to speak.

I spoke of Ma'hi's short life, the great opportunities she possessed and the love she bore for her fellow Na'vi. I called out her name many times, as I knew that we must refrain from speaking her name from now on. To speak the name of the dead as if they were alive is to disturb their rest, I had been told. I looked down at Ma'hi's peaceful face and smiled slightly in acceptance. Yes. This was it for Ma'hi, but she would live on as long as we spoke her name or thought of her face, her laughter, her smile.

Slowly, we became more and more alone until it was only Jakesully, Tsahik, Tsu'tey and A'mari'k who accompanied me.

Neytiri took my hand and pressed it to her heart. "I see you- you are beautiful."

"As are you, Tsahik." I bowed deeply, a flush coming to my cheeks despite it all.

Jakesully smiled warmly at me. "You have accepted your sister's death as a necessary step of transformation, but will you accept A'mari'k, the Na'vi you once called brother?"

No, I can't, I wanted to say. I could never forgive this monster that has put me through so much suffering, confusion, and…

Then I realized that A'mari'k was still in some way the same as when I first saw him. He still had an awkward tail and an uneasy way with others. He now looked at Jakesully like a child looking upon his much accomplished father, and I knew he had changed greatly, but there was still a long way to go. I no longer held any dislike for Jakesully anymore, and had even come to accept Eywa for all that she is and is not. I had transformed myself, and so could A'mari'k.

Suddenly I was filled with a joy so deep that I wanted desperately to share it with A'mari'k. I had grown internally, and my life was now fuller than I ever thought it'd be, despite all my recent losses. And all this was due to A'mari'k. I may have lost a sister, but I had gained a mate and a true brother. I reached within me in surprise, expecting to find the hate I had once felt and stored within me for this Na'vi... But my heart was empty save for the love of my family, of Tsu'tey, of the clan that supported me and of an unspeakable, indescribable That.

My legs felt light as air, and I could not help but laugh. I threw my head back, fell to my knees in front of Ma'hi's grave, and kissed the earth. Yes. I was finally home, and I could forgive.

The day Tsu'tey decided to make public our desire to mate came like any other. We'd settled into a strangely comforting life where we shared three meals a day, saw each other at regular intervals and laughed. A lot. I returned to my former life, skinning beasts and sewing tunics, learning the craft of basket weaving with Lady Mo'at and Ka'iil. Tsu'tey returned to his former post as Head Warrior, and gained the respect of his warriors rapidly. They were, after all, once under his rule. Zuku's mate was pregnant again, Tsu'tey had told me one night. He is very happy. Does this mean they will not attempt the unthinkable again? Perhaps not, perhaps so. I must forget about the future, for it cannot ever be known to me, and let go of the past, which I cannot change. Why worry when I had such a wonderful life in the present?

I don't think I'd ever been so happy before, and surprisingly much of it was due to A'mari'k.

I had forgiven him easily, much to my amazement. This Na'vi who was clumsy and sometimes shy but who dared to annoy Lady Mo'at made a charming companion. We began speaking as acquaintances at first, neither of us comfortable. Then we somehow became closer, and finally he had a long talk with me. I came to realize that he made mistakes, and was fully aware of the scope of what he had and could have done. We were sharing a bowl of fruit one morning when he abruptly began to spill out a heartfelt apology. "I was confused, and I didn't even know it," he told me, "I am lucky that I am still here and more so that you have forgiven me."

"You are, brother." I was near tears at this point, seeing not a trace of his former self in his eyes. These were the eyes of one who had seen much, done much, and regret more. A'mari'k was living a hard life- catching glimpses of the Na'vi who had condemned him and taken everything away from him and not being able to tell the truth. Jakesully and Neytiri saw it as a necessary sacrifice to ensure the prosperity of the clan, and A'mari'k agreed wholeheartedly.

"I am happy for you, Yishat. You will live a good life with Tsu'tey, who is a good brother to me and will be an excellent mate for you."

I laughed, "Yes- but I do wish he would hurry up!"

A'mari'k's eyes gleamed, and suddenly there was a chuckle from behind me. Tsu'tey's hands came over my eyes, "there are some things you just can't rush, Yishat. Now, come with me."

He let go and led me out of the dining hall, my heart leaping with each of the two steps I had to take to match his single stride. "Where are we going? What are you doing?" When he didn't reply, I felt a surge of affection for this Na'vi. I knew he had planned something magnificent.

I came to smell his surprise long before I saw them. "Those are Opay flowers," I choked, throat constricting with emotion. These were one of the rarest flowers on this world, and sometimes, if they were lucky, some Na'vi may have them at their mating ceremony. Ma'hi had the dust, oil and paste of these flowers slathered all over her at hers, making her look like a star. My family had been rich a long time ago, but all of the Opay had been used on Ma'hi. My parents had not thought I would ever mate with anyone noteworthy so soon, and had not left anything for me. As a result, my mother had been reluctant to bring up my mating.

Finally I came to the room, where I stood in shock, holing my breath even though I was exhausted. I felt dizzy. This was Tsu'tey's personal quarters- the Head Warrior's quarters, where A'mari'k used to live with Ma'hi. Here, scattered around the room in thick bushels and bunches, were the delicate flowers that would've taken my father years to collect. When Jakesully and Neytiri had their official mating ceremony after the war was over, there wasn't much left of our old Home tree. Nevertheless, it was so covered with Opay that one could've mistaken the charred tree for Eywa's hand rising out of the earth. These flowers were not extremely beautiful by nature, but their rarity, effects and scent set them apart.

"How did you collect them all? And it's all for me?" I was losing my composure horribly, but you must understand that this meant the world for me. It was like going full circle to the time I was despondent and dull and clueless and turning it all around.

Tsu'tey's reply was a little less than satisfactory, "Of course! I would not have my mate looking so plain."

I knew he was teasing me, and learned long ago not to be too affected by his antics. "Oh, don't bother, Tsu'tey. If you wanted someone that could light up a room, you'd mate with Paiiyi."

"I am fully aware of that, but even though there are many flowers more lovely than the Opay, it is still the rarest- for good reason, too. Now, to answer your question… I took my warriors out to hunt for them- they needed a break from training."

I caught the sarcasm in his words as I thought of the difficulty of collecting these flowers- climbing over hills, holding on to the edge of mighty cliffs… It was not an easy task. I opened my mouth to thank him again, but no words came and I collapsed onto his stool. Sensing my astonishment like he often did, Tsu'tey wrapped his arms around me and we stayed there like this for some time. I felt his heart beating against my back, felt the warmth of his muscled chest and the very aura that he emanated.

"Why me?"

"Hm?" Tsu'tey's hand came to brush my face, and despite myself I recoiled against this unfamiliar attention. This question was bound to come out. We had fallen in love, if you could call it, under questionable circumstances. "What happened to my hard nut? Has she cracked on her own?" To emphasize his poor attempt at a joke, my mate-to-be knocked his head against mine gently. Thankfully, he had more to say. "I wasn't sure what I wanted, and neither were you, I think. But I was nearing the time when I had to look for prospects, and I found you."

My eyes went blind and all the beautiful flowers before me vanished. "You chose me because I was the only one there?"

"That is not the only reason, but the reasons don't matter."

I stood and turned to face him, face full of resolve. I think he actually looked afraid for a moment. "Tsu'tey," I began, voice surprisingly calm, "you have become my whole tribe, the light of my day. Am I yours?"

When he failed to give an immediate reply, my heart fell.

"Silly girl," Tsu'tey took my shoulders and shook me gently. "Look around you! You are in my personal quarters, surrounded by the rarest flowers in this world that I have gathered for you. You retain the embarrassing memories of I begging for your body, begging for your soul. Can you honestly look back at that now and tell me that I had not taken you seriously?"

I looked into his eyes and saw that they were filled with tender care, and just by looking into them I felt warmth spread throughout me. Then, quite surprisingly, I heard a voice. I knew immediately and instinctively that it was the voice of Eywa.

Don't be scared- it wasn't an old hag voice, or an ethereal, floating sing-song tune. It was my own voice sounding back to me, and when I heard this I collapsed onto his waiting arms, laughing. 'he is speaking the truth. He is speaking the truth.'

Tsu'tey and I agreed that we should mate on the next auspicious day. 'As soon as possible,' he had said. He would organize the ceremony, hunt for food and go around asking for blessings, and mother and father promised to take care of the rest.

I stood now before Neytiri's door, and was given permission to enter almost immediately.

"I have been expecting you," Tsahik smiled widely. "I see you, Yishat. Come, sit."

After the usual formalities were exchanged, I asked her for a foretelling of the next few days.

"You wish to find a good date for your mating, yes?" Neytiri chewed on a long stalk of something I couldn't recognize, and pulled up an ancient, weathered scroll that looked in pieces. She bowed over her work, fingers trailing from one line to the next, squinting. "Yes, you are in luck. In exactly three moons is a very auspicious day. Flowers, they say, will bloom brighter on that day and a doorway will open directly to Eywa."

If I were any other home tender searching for an auspicious day to plan their ceremony, this would've been the greatest thing I could ever hear. Instead I uttered a nervous laugh. If this kept on, perhaps Eywa and I would become close friends soon.

"Do not be afraid, dear." Neytiri rolled up the scroll again gingerly, "Ma'hi would not resent you."

"That is not it, Tsahik."

"What is it, then? Are you perhaps displeased with Tsu'tey?"

"No, it's simply that… I still feel incomplete somehow." I never even knew this of myself until now, which surprised me. This, I thought, must be the true power of Tsahik.

The proud Na'vi I was speaking to nodded sagely, "You have grown much. You are different from before, much different. A time ago, you were lost, and now you are found. Yet you are still displeased. The first time you came to me, you were sour and held much hatred for Tsu'tey. Now that is gone, and it is good. Yet that time, you were very adamant that you did not want to mate. Do you feel much different now?"

"I want to be his mate, I want to bear his children." I looked into Neytiri's eyes with much effort, hoping she would not hear the trembling that had suddenly come into my voice.

"You are unsure," she diagnosed what was wrong with me instantly, "you are overwhelmed and you do not know anything but what is expected of you. Yishat, look at me. Here. My eyes. Yes... You must know that you need not do anything you do not want. How do you feel right now?"

"Fine." I was becoming very afraid, for I knew where this conversation was going. I should not have come here- I should have asked my mother for a good date. Neytiri was once again performing a soul searching ritual of sorts that was making me doubt myself all over again.

"But you are not happy. Mating is a permanent thing, Yishat. Once you mate, there are many things that will become untouchable for you, many choices that you will no longer have the power to make. Are you sure you want this?"

"Tsahik..."

"Are you sure you are done with what you have begun?"

I had come here full of resolve to find an auspicious date to mate, and that was it. I did not ask for this, and I certainly wasn't about to collapse in front of Tsahik. I did not speak, and Neytiri's glossy eyes bore into me until I felt a heat between my eyes.

She spoke again, slowly, "Do you remember what else you had wanted, above all else?"

I didn't need to be reminded of it. "I wanted to hold a bow."

"Have you tried again?"

My eyes wandered down, then up, "I don't see the point anymore."

Then Neytiri did something very surprising. She rose regally, slipped into an adjourning room and emerged with a long, old wooden box. It was dripping with beads and feathers. She set it in front of me and opened it slowly, blowing away the layer of dust that had gathered on the box. "Look inside, Yishat."

Shaking, I leaned over and peeked into the box. Abruptly I snapped my head up. "Tsahik, this is your bow!" It was the very bow she had held with her when the war with the sky people took away all that we knew. I shuddered, thinking of all the lives that fell to it.

"That is right. Now that I am Tsahik, I have no use for it. Unfortunately I cannot give it to you, but I wish you to see the importance of this bow."

"But why, Tsahik? Why must you tell me this when I cannot hold one?" Surely Neytiri was not doing this to be cruel.

"I believe you should try again, Yishat. It would be doubly irresponsible of Eywa to put you through all this without doing this for you."

With wide eyes, I repeated her words to myself, incredulous. "D-did you just call Eywa irresponsible, Tsahik?"

"I did, and I would not say it if I was not so utterly saddened by your predicament. To hold a bow is to protect yourself, to honor the soul that is within you. To shoot an arrow is to be able to kill, to end and begin the circle of life created by Eywa. Do not fear, for all life returns to the same place to be reborn again. I tell you this because I feel it is my duty. Seeing that you have come so far, I would hate for you to miss the last step of your journey. Do you understand me, Yishat? It is Eywa's words coming from my mouth, and I must obey."

Her every word ran through me like jolts of energy, and I lost all recollection of why I had come here. My hand started to tingle, all the way up to my arms. I was suddenly enveloped in a pocket of silence, and I even stopped breathing in fear that it would scare this silence away. Everything in me felt light as Neytiri's worn war bow called out to me with every inch of its being, with the spirit of the tree it was made from, with the voice of the indescribable.

She held her bow out to me, beads clinking against each other. "You may choose now, Yishat. You may choose to hold my bow and see for yourself how Eywa has blessed you. However, by doing so you may want to hold back your mating for favor of learning the bow, if that is what is intended for you. Or, of course, you may leave. You may leave and live your life as Tsu'tey's mate, bear his children and never know what could've been. Choose now, Yishat."

TBC

CLIFFHANGER! Muhahaha! I hope this chapter explained everything satisfactorily, and I really want to hear what you guys thought of it. This is really the life-changing chapter, eh?

Review, review, review and the next chapter comes faster. :D Oh, I like cookies too. :)