Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. =(

Chapter 3: The Letter

I carefully opened the envelope but as I took out the letter I quickly put it back. I couldn't. I COULDN'T but I had to. I gently pulled it out.

Dear Miley

It started. I still didn't think I could do this. Hell! This was a letter to me about the whole mess I'm in. I took a deep breath and read it again, the words that my deceased friend wants me to hear.

Dear Miley

I'm not asking you to forgive me because I know that you never can. We've been friends for so long and for me to suddenly end it like I did, it must hurt. So I say again, I know you can never forgive me but I hope you find it in your heart to.

I know you must hate me but please hear me out. Hopefully by the end of this letter you may have forgiven me.

Let me start this letter off in a positive way.

Miley, you were my best friend. Through thick and thin. You helped me with all my boy troubles (Matt and Lucas), all my troubles and even when I was annoying. We had our fights but I know we would forgive each other because that's what best friends do. You helped me through pretty much everything for which I am grateful for.

I still remember the day I found out you were Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana was like my idol and favourite singer and for me to find out that it was you, wow, it was a shock I can tell you that. Then you showed me your Hannah Closet. WOW pretty much sums it up.

Then came along Jake. I liked him for a while but I soon realised that you and him were meant to be. You guys deserved each other and I hope someday you and him might finally realise that. Remember this: I've never seen two people more perfect for each other. So consider this my blessing.

Then came along the boy troubles. I'm sorry for not believing you about Lucas but I'm glad we made up. I helped you and you helped me. Once again I will say that is what best friends do. We fight but we forgive each other at the end of the day.

Remember that trip to Washington? Gosh, so much things happened. I realised two things.

1: You lied because you had to and I now see that it was in the best intentions.

And 2: That trip made me realise that we are much more than best friends. You're like the sister I never had. Thank you Miley. For being my sister.

We have gone through so much together. The camping trip with Amber and Ashley, looking back now, I laugh even though we caught Poison Oak. What about the time when we thought Oliver was crushing on the school nurse? I actually went home that looked up The Who and The Beatles. They're bands from like the 80's. I couldn't believe that I didn't know them. I was such an idiot. Then we found out Oliver had diabetes. We helped him through his mess just like you helped me through mine. I'll say it again if I haven't: you are the best friend I could ever ask you for. Remember that now.

We had so many fights as well. I still remember the time about the whole deal with my dorky new glasses. The time when you lied about where the money came from when we went to D.C. The time I didn't believe you when you said Lucas was cheating on me. The time when I didn't pick you in PE (I had good reason). The time when we both blamed each others' parent on who is to blame about that dinner date and the list goes on. But we made it through each of them and I knew that we would because at the end of the day we are sisters who are suppose to work things out.

But now I know the question that is on your mind. "Why the HELL did I do this?" I had my reasons. Some were too complicated for you to even understand and this is when you say "Try me." but this time you can't help me. This is one time you can't. So many things happened at once and then it just caused me too much pain.

Now you are probably wondering how long this has gone on for. I can say years. It all started when my brother got home from Military School and it ended with the whole affair with Oliver. You are now confused and I can see why. I've hid many things from you for good reason.

The thing with Damien………it's difficult to explain. I don't know why he did the things he did but he did. I shouldn't trouble you with the details of my poor pathetic life so I'm not going to.

Oliver. Oliver: my first and true love. The whole deal with him is indeed complicated. Once again you don't need to know everything but he rejected me and it push me over the edge. I'm sorry for not telling you but I thought it was obvious. Every time now I look at him, I break a little more. I now hear the song Teardrops On My Guitar whenever I see him. The pain eventually got to much for me to handle.

You should also know that I have been issues for a long time. I tried and failed to fix them. Sadly I couldn't. I was depressed. I was more than down, I was way down. I knew I needed help but I was too far down to see the light. I couldn't get help. Help would have been useless, so I bottled them all up and slowly they took over me. Soon my life became not worth living. I couldn't take it anymore, the pain, the hurt. It was too much. I'm sorry for hiding it from you but worrying you was another thing to add to my list of reasons.

You should also know this one thing. It will shock you but you should know. Remember when I came to school with bandages around my wrists? They weren't from a skateboard accident. They were from cutting myself. I cut myself for months before deciding to end it. I'm sorry for lying to you but I didn't want to worry you and Oliver.

There are many other reasons but you need to put them together. I don't have much time to finish this but you should know that a small part of it includes you. I know that may seem hard to believe but it is.

When you started to go out with Jake again, you seemed to bring him in and me out. I know that might seem selfish but so did everyone else. They slowly forgot me. So yes, you were part of the reason.

Miley, you were, no still are my best friend who has risen to the position of my sister. I love you and I am so glad that we began friends.

Remember the first time we became friends? You were just this southern girl fresh out of Tennessee and I swoop in and took you under my wing. Of course it helped that I was your buddy.

Before I finish I just want leave you with a few points.

1) I am still you sister, even in death.

2) I just hope you find in within yourself to forgive me for what I have done.

3) I forgive you for EVERYTHING. Every mistake in our friendship, everything, is all forgiven. So now I can leave with a clear conscious.

4) Hannah Montana is still one of my favourite singers. Remember that.

5) You know that key I gave you months ago? I did indeed give it to you so you can search my room for clues as to why I decided to end it. That my friend, is my challenge to you.

Now I finish the letter from one of my favourite people. That's right. Albus Dumbledore. "Death is yet but the next great adventure."

I couldn't stand life but I'm sure I can stand death and like Dumbledore says it is the next great adventure. I look forward to it.

I just hope that when you find out, that you can understand everything. Maybe that's when you can forgive me but I doubt it because your sister leaving you? That's hard. I admire you for that.

Few things to remember.

1) I will always be here. Watching over you. Keeping you safe. Think as me as your guardian angel if you like

2) You are talented and beautiful so go live the life I couldn't.

3) You always remind me of the song 'I Always Be There For You'

4) I purposely made our last day together wonderful so we can look back on it. Thank you Miley, for all the wonderful memories.

So please do me one last favour before I finish this letter to you. Take care of my family. I know they are deeply hurt by this affair but I hope you can help get them through it. I know it may seem hard but it will be okay. Remember it is okay to cry, to break down. Losing a friend is hard and especially when that sister is so close to you. So please be the light in my parents, Oliver and everyone else who is affected.

Remember, it is okay to cry.

So thank you Miley. For everything.

Good luck in the world

Your Sister

Lilly

I scrunched up the letter and collapsed on the floor. Despair, pain and sadness was drawn to me like magnets. I didn't know Lilly felt this way. Lillys' letter was so sad and advice that I knew I had to take. She had forgiven me for everything and I felt like she deserved the same. She was so unhappy but I couldn't forgive her. I don't know why I didn't but something held me back from it. But I know it time I will.

The things she hid from me. The whole deal with Oliver and the cutting business. Those made me cry out in anguish. Knowing that my best friend couldn't even come to me with her troubles. She called her life pathetic and not worth living. That was depressing. But I hoped deep down that if she had come to me, that I could have helped her.

I looked back at the letter. The reasons. Oliver. I knew it. But he rejected her. That would explain why he said it was complicated. Re-reading the bit about Oliver ended up breaking me too. I never knew she felt like that. Tears soon came to my eyes again as they have been through-out the letter.

Her brother. Where did he come into it? I had to find out. I never knew that he could be apart of this. I thought Lilly had loved her brother, I guess I was wrong.

I noticed the bit about me hurting her. I felt so distraught. That I could be one of the reasons she decided to take her own life away. It hurt too much.

I guess I didn't know Lilly as much as I thought. If I had perhaps I would have seen the signs. I take up your challenge Lilly. I just hope that when I find out, I can finally get through this. But I know I never will.

Re-reading the letter made me finally break down in sobs. I just lay there, on her floor. The letter scrunched up, stained with tears, clutched in my hand.

The last thing I remember saying was:

"I could never hate you."

A/N: Lillys' letter was so sad!!!! I was close to crying when I was writing it!!!! Of course it didn't help that I was listening to When You're Gone By Avril Lavigne, Stop and Stare by Opshop and the crowning depressing song of all time, Shattered by Trading Yesterday.

So please REVIEW!