Disclaimer: No I don'town Hannah Montana.

Chapter 8: Missing Pages Fall Into Place

Feb 24 2008

Today I am 16. My Grandmother got me this diary to write in, to express my feelings etc. She thinks it will be good for me considering I am usually shut up in my shell all day and all night. Maybe it will, maybe it won't……Who knows?

Anyway today for my birthday I got some amazing things. From Miley I got this amazing charm bracelet like she has. So now we can buy charms for each other. Oliver got me this new tripped out skateboard with matching safely gear.

Mum and Dad basically got me some clothes, a new PS3 game, Soul Silver for my DS and they gave me a check for 100 bucks. Nice!

Damien sent me a card and a picture of him with his roommates at Military School. In his card he writes:

"Happy Birthday little sis! Wow, 16! You're growing up from that little girl I use to know! So everything is good here, I hope you're doing okay with Mum and Dad! Are they still fighting? I hope they resolve whatever they're auguring about. Can't wait to see you again and show you all these amazing videos of me and the boys. I have lots to tell you.

Your Big Bro,

Damien."

Today was pretty damn amazing! I can't wait to try out my new skateboard with Oliver at the parks tomorrow! Perhaps he will FINALLY tell me he likes me! I sure hope he does. If he does, I can say it back and we will live happily every after! But then again that is only wishful thinking. I wonder what will happen. EEP!

Can't wait for tomorrow!

Lilly

Reading this entry made me think. I don't get it. Lilly seemed so happy at her 16th party. Even her diary says so. If she was so happy, then what Gods' name possessed her to take her life away? What made her go from Happy Lilly to Depressed Lilly?

I looked back over the entry. Damien didn't sound like an evil guy who was part of the reason that Lilly took her own life. Perhaps he changed at Military school because I remember the guy.

He was nice and funny. He always made us laugh and he always had something new and exciting to tell us. He would remember the most craziest and weirdest of facts. A/N: Based on my friend Charlotte. She always seems to know the weirdest of things. Never play 'Guess My Animal' with her. You'll always lose!

I remember Lilly telling me about the fight her parents had just before her 16th birthday. Her Mum accused her Dad of cheating. Apparently it caused an icy silence in the house for weeks. I think they did fix it until Ms Truscott caught Mr Truscott with some other woman at work. I think that did it. Maybe that's one of the causes. Guess I'll never know but maybe Lillys' diary will help me out.

One of the pages was sticking out and I flipped to it. I found the entry that had caught my eye the other day. I guess fate wants me to read this entry.

Feb 16 2010

Today was pretty eventful. I think it will be nearly time for me to tell Oliver how much I am in love with him. But I don't think I will because it's him and me, me and him. Little Olli and Lil. Kindergarten friends or lovers as Miley put it. I knew I shouldn't have told her the crayon story. Ah well. We all make mistakes.

Today my Dad came over. I hadn't seen him in a bit and you know who he brought round? That's right that egg of a girlfriend who hates me. What's her name? Ginger? Isn't that a Spice Girl?

But that's not all. He also brought (Drum roll please) Damien. I couldn't believe it. I thought I had seen the last of him when he moved in with his girlfriend Sophie. But apparently they broke up. Surprise, surprise. As soon as he announced it I knew it was going to end disaster. But did they listen to me? Nooooooo!

The whole visit was an icy silence. Barely anyone talked or even looked at each other. The only silence at dinner was the sound of knives and forks against plates. Dad didn't even look at me all through-out dinner. I wonder why. Ginger kept giving me the evil eye. Again, I wonder why. What did I do to her? Guess I'll never know.

Damien caught up with me after dinner.

"Hey Bucko!" He yelled at me.

I turned to look at him.

"Yeah Dami?" I said folding my arms.

Damien looked left and right to make sure we were alone. Of course we were. Dad had gone out with Ginger and my Mum to show them his new office.

"We ARE alone Dami." I said firmly.

He took a step forward while I took one back. I knew what he was going to do. I still had scars from the last time he did it.

"Dami no, please!" I whimpered.

Suddenly the door opened and Dad and Mum stepped in. Thank GOD! Perfect timing guys. Really.

"Damien, me and Ginger are going. You need a ride?" Dad asked.

Damien shook his head and Dad and Ginger got into their car and drove off without another word. Talk about awkwardness. Mum came up to me.

"Darling, I have to go to the office for the night. Probably won't be back at all until tomorrow evening. You okay here for a bit?"

I wanted to say no so badly but Damien was in the background giving me his death glare which made me coward every time.

"O-Okay." I stammered.

"Good girl." My Mum said giving me a kiss on the cheek before grabbing her keys and purse and getting into her car.

This was not good. Mum was leaving me alone with………him! I wanted to yell after her so desperately. But Damien was advancing on me.

Damien waited until Mums' car was out of earshot before advancing on me, cracking his knuckles as he went.

"Dami please! PLEASE!" I begged backing into a corner.

But Damien only laughed.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He said giving me his evil grin.

My head hit the wall and all I could think of is "Oh shoot! He has me in the corner."

Suddenly Damiens' fist came out of no where and it hit my right in the stomach winding me. I collapsed holding my stomach. Damiens' foot slammed against my side forcing me into the wall. I could hear Damien laughing as fist slammed into my chest. I slid down the wall dripping in blood.

Damien stood over me laughing his high cold cruel laugh. I could see similarities to Voldemort here. I just hope Damien doesn't become like Voldemort.

"What happened to you?" I whispered.

Damien laughed his cold laugh again. How could hurting his little sister give him such pleasure? It's sick.

"What happened to my big brother who always protected me and helped me?" I whispered. "Where's that guy?"

"He grew up." Damien said with a hiss.

His fist slammed back of my head forcing me to fly forwards. Lights appeared in front of my eyes and I tried to blink them away. I held the back of my head and looked up to see Damien standing over me. I could feel the blood in my mouth. I spat some out.

"I think that's enough for now."

You think? I was thinking.

"See you next week Little Lil." He said calling me by the nickname he used to call me when we were little. It was sickening.

I felt dizzy. I had to stay conscious otherwise Mum might see and then I'll be in trouble with you-know-who and I'm not talking about Voldemort.

And with that he turned on his heal and left. Leaving me to clean up my own blood.

"Remember our little promise." He says in the doorframe before grabbing his jacket and this time, leaving.

I remember our promise well. He beats me up and if I tell a single soul I die. Yeah it's a good deal. It's a lose/lose situation for me.

I carefully got up, holding my side. I spat out more blood. I ran to the bathroom and threw up some blood. Without doing anything else I grabbed the bucket and mop and cleaned to make sure not a speck of blood was seen. Then I had to clean myself up. I go to the bathroom and pick up my blade. I carefully run it across my wrist to make a small cut. I could see my blood pouring out. Funny enough this doesn't make me feel better anymore. It used to fix all the problems but now I think I need more than just a cut wrist. I think I actually want to end it. Completely. Forever.

For a while now I've been having these feelings. I sometimes wonder if life would be better if I didn't have one. It would be better for everyone considering everything. I do wonder what is on the other side and if it is better. It must be because they say that when you die you go to heaven. I hope that is much better than the hell of a life I put up with.

So then why do put up with everything when I could easily leave it?

Lilly

I just lay there on my bed, shocked from what I read. My tears splattered the pages just like the old ones had. I didn't know Lilly had felt this way. I just wish she had said something to me. We could have fixed this together……..I hope. Could we? Lilly did seem to be in a pretty deep hole.

The whole mystery with Damien had been solved. He had abused Lilly but to what ends? But the real question is: WHY? Why did he do it? I had to know. I had to find out.

But I didn't get to think about it for long before I heard my Dad yelling up the stairs.

"Bud are you ready?"

My head was spinning.

"Ready for what?" I yelled back.

I could hear my Dad sighing.

"Your Hannah concert. Starts in a few hours."

Oh shoot! I had totally forgotten.

"Let me get ready!"

I raced around the room grabbing my Hannah stuff and my wig. I got changed in several minutes and I ran downstairs to meet my Dad with my dinner ready. I scoffed down my dinner and ran out to the limo which was waiting for me.

"Ready?" My Dad asked me.

I gulped.

"I don't know."

A/N: I hope you guys have enjoyed this update.

On a happier note how was your Easter? Mine was fun. Went to my Grandads' for dinner =)

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