Please don't hate me. You guys hate me, don't you? I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! My writers block mixed with my work schedule... bah, I know you wont take my excuses. Please forgive me! I'm trying really hard to work through my blockage, but I'm sinking! Hopefully you guys like this chapter, though! Please don't hate me. Or if you do, tell me how much you hate me in the form of a REVIEW! And don't worry, in the next few days I'll have ATWABCTMW updated too!

2nd little tid-bit of news, I started a new story called Chasers, Keepers, and Bludgers. It's a Katie Bell/Oliver Wood story, and it takes place at hogwarts compared to this and my other story. Please review it! I want feedback on it, and I'm getting nothing! I'd love some support! I promise to have that story updated in a few days, as well!

Enjoy! - Jen

The sun burned through the window shades as Lily stirred in her bed. She groaned audiably and pulled a pillow over her head. It felt early, was it early? Her red hair cascaded over her face as she peeled off the pillow to glance at the clock.

3:34pm.

How on earth was it 3pm? She sat herself up in bed. She'd slept for more hours than she needed, but still felt absolutely exhaused. She reminded herself to never agree to working the night shift ever again. Waking up the next morning (or afternoon) was a painful experience. She unwillingly threw herself off her bed, and placed a hand against the wall to steady her swaying legs. Colors from the blood rushing through her head fogged her eye-sight.

Merlin, she felt awful. Coffee, she needed coffee. Something with caffeine. Anything.

She stumbled from the room, her vision focusing as she made her way to the kitchen. She wondered if there would be anything in there - it had been years since they'd used the apartment. She could smell it though... she could smell coffee.

A fairly fresh pot sat in the coffee maker. Success! She grabbed a mug from the counter over the sink and poured a brimming cup - not even bothering to fill it with cream or sugar. The warm liquid scorched her tongue but she drank it eagerly. She'd finnished a full half of a cup before deciding to make her way to the living room to check if James was still present.

A soft snoring from the living room was the only clue to Lily that she wasn't the only one in the room. James arm was swung over the top of the couch, and his feet poked off the end. Lily peered over the top to see James, glasses askew and mouth partially open, laying atop the blue couch. Papers were scattered across the coffee table, along with a copy of the mornings Prophet situated haphazardly on the top. Lily picked it up and sat down on the reclining chair.

15 minutes later, James eyes flickered open. The red headed girl was the first thing he saw, her nose burried in a copy of the newspaper, an annoyed look across her face, her right hand tapping anxiously on the arm rest of the chair. A small smile flickered across James face as he situated himself upright on the couch, and he ran an eager hand through his hair.

"Morning." He mumbled, his voice foggier than he'd expected. Lily pulled down the paper and peered at her ex-boyfriend.

"Morning." She smiled breifly. James glanced down at his notes spread across the table and quickly began to scoop them up. Lily giggled lightly. "You don't need to clean up for me."

James shrugged, and pushed all the papers into the bag that sat on the floor.

"Thanks for the coffee." Lily added, gesturing to her steaming mug.

"You're welcome. I know how you are in the mornings without it." He grinned.

She scoffed and flipped a page in her paper.

"There's nothing usefull in there." James added. Lily glanced up to meet his expression. They'd both shared a cynical attitude towards the paper, yet they continued to order it anyway, just in case.

"I know, I know." She mutterd and tossed the paper aside. She sipped at her beverage instead. "Maybe some day."

James laughed. "Don't get your hopes up."

Lily rolled her eyes and sighed. "Where's Sirius? I thought he slept here last night?"

"He did." James replied. "But we don't all sleep past 3pm, Lily. Sirius has gone home by now."

Lily tossed a cushy blue pillow across the room at him, he dodged it, as to be expected with years of playing quidditch.

Squeezing the pillow, James took a deep breath. He knew they had things to discuss, but the light hearted feeling in the room did not call for such conversations. Being alone with Lily Evans made his heart race, but he didn't want to scare her away. More than anything, more than his own comfort, he wanted Lily to be happy. Even if that ment he wasn't part of the picture. So who was going to stay in the apartment? Was he supposed to leave, or would she leave? Would they both leave?

James looked around the room, and his mind filled with memories of the two years the two spent living together here. James was in the Auror Academy, and Lily was in her healers training. They'd both return tired and worn out after lond, tiring days, and collapse on the bed next to eachother. Somehow their bodies would muster up enough energy to kiss eachother fervently, and sometimes, other things.

James rubbed his eyes. Those days were long past over. Replaying them in his mind wouldn't bring them back. He and Lily were adults now, those moments were over and done with. They'd grown, and more importantly, grown apart. He knew what he had to do.

"Are you going to be staying here?" He asked, finally. Lily bit her lip, and seemed to find her fingernails particularly interesting as she wouldn't look up from them.

"I have nowhere else to go." She explained quietly. Coincidence, thought James almost bitterly. "But it's not fair to you."

Same old, level headed Lily Evans. Always putting everyone else before herself. But James wasn't giving up - this was their home, half and half.

"I'm not making you leave. I can leave." He offered. "It wont be hard for me to find somewhere else to go. I don't have many belongings." He ran an absentminded hand through his hair.

"And I'm absolutely not making you leave." Lily crossed her arms stubbornly.

"I suppose we have two options, then." James played with the hair at the nape of his neck. He somehow knew she'd never agree to the second of the two. "We can both leave, or we can both stay."

Lily was biting her lip again. She looked positively anxious, and a bit nervous, as she toyed with the ideas in her mind. James prayed that she'd stay here with him, but he knew he'd given up the right to have her in his life when he left four years ago. He was well aware of this, and didn't want to press any matters that would push her away.

"James, this is silly. I'll stay with Talia until I find myself a place, and you can stay here." She stood from the chair, brushing down her pants.

"Honestly, Evans, you stay here. I can live with Sirius." James stood also, adjusting his glasses as he did so.

They were right back where they had started. This time, it was Lilys turn to brush a hand through her hair, sending the scent of citrus shampoo in James' direction.

"Alright." Lily sighed. "How about this." She took a deep breath, as if pondering wether or not she wanted to suggest what she was about to say. "What if we both stay here - just until we can find somwhere new. It's stupid for us both to impose on our friends. We can trade off the bed, every other night."

James ran a nervous hand through his hair. Of course, this was exactly what he'd wanted - to stay here, in their flat, just like old times. But his nerves of driving her away wouldn't leave. He didn't want to scare her off.

"I can stay with Sirius, Lily. It's not a problem..." He offered one last time. Lily shook her head.

"It's not a problem for us both to stay here, either." She sat back down in the old arm chair. "Really. I'll start looking for a place today."

James sat on the couch with a sigh. He knew it was impossible to change Lily Evans' mind once she'd made it. She was stubborn, like that. Always was, and always will be. He watched as she pressed her mug to her perfectly pink lips. She really hadn't changed a bit in the past four years. Sure, her worry lines were a bit deeper - that was to be expected with the war going on, and her hair was getting longer... but she was still the same, beautifull woman that he'd fell in love with. The same, beautiful woman that he'd given up in the exact same room he was in now. A pang of regret crushed his heart.

It wasn't as if James regretted leaving - he'd needed to. It was good for him, good for the order, and although Lily didn't realize it, it was consequently good for her as well. He'd been out trying to locate Lord Voldemort, or at the least, some of his hide-outs. There was never really a choice between going and not going, for him. Once the job had been offered, he snatched it up without a second thought.

And of course, he had to break up with Lily before he left. It would have been stupid for him not to. He wasn't about to leave her there, pining for him, when he could only be in contact with her once every now and then. If he was sending constant owls back home, his own hideouts would have been jepordized. The emotional strain that would have caused her... he couldn't bear to think about it. No, she was happier this way. Most definitely. This way, she didn't spend her nights up late worrying about him, and pining for him. She was free to live her own life.

Even if that made him miserable.

He never expected to fall in love with someone else. He never even looked. Lily Evans was his love, and in his mind, no one compared for her. If it came down to it, he supposed, he may settle for someone else... but there was no one quite like Lily. No one even close. No one comparable. And that would only be if he was absolutely and completely positive there was no chance of being with her. If there was even the smallest hope... the tiniest glimmer...

He watched as she emptied her mug and took off towards the kitchen, probably to clean her glass. She was always so clean like that. James, however, was a pig. He was more than used to Lily bickering at him to clean up after himself. Anything from his clothes, to empty cups, to work papers - he left everything everywhere. He supposed it was a family curse - his father ws the same way.

When Lily returned to the room, this time in tidied clothes, with her hair straightened and face washed, she announced that she was leaving.

"Going where?" James asked absentmindedly. He knew it was none of his business, but curiosity and more so habit had inhabited his subconscious.

Lily perked her head up from where she was putting on her shoes. She played with the ends of her hair. "Well... I need my belongings if I'm going to be staying here..."

James hadn't particularly thought about that. He had his things, and besides, he was a boy. He was quite comfortable with wearing the same thing multiple times before doing laundry.

"Do you need help?" He asked politely, but more so out of boredom and desire to be around her. He had no plans today, and anything involving Lily seemed intriguing to him.

Lily shook her head and played with her fingers. "No... no..." She spoke quietly and thoughtfully. "I need to do this alone."

Lily gave him a quick wave, and exited the room. James leaned back against the couch, and imagined the ghost of the couple they used to be... where they'd be sitting in the living room, laughing over something Sirius had done, and talking about a future wedding that, he knew now, would never come. A pang stabbed at his chest, and he knew he had to occupy his time with something else. Thinking of what was and what could have been was no help.

It was bright and hot outside, and Lily groaned under the late afternoon heat. It was too hot for August. This was the time when the weather should be cooling down. But no, even at 4pm, it was grueling. She scrunched her nose as she walked into Diagon Alley. She was meeting Talia for lunch before she attempted to return to her old home and retrieve her belongings.

Talia was sitting outside of The Dragons Breath cafe, under one of the umbrellaed seats. Lily had always thought this was a disgusting name for a food joint, but enjoyed it none the less. They had a delicious Vanilla Pumpkin drink that she craved every now and then.

"You look well rested." Talia pointed out. Lily nodded - she did, in fact, feel well rested, now that she was properly awake. "Where are you staying? Not the 'Cauldron still, I hope?"

"No, no. I went back to our old apartment." said Lily, over her menu. Hunger was growling at her stomach, and she was ready to divulge in something.

"That place on York Road? I wasn't aware you still owned it." said Talia.

"Technically I don't. It's under James' name." She took a deep breath. "And, well, I was never rude enough to leave him homeless when he returned."

Talia paused mid-sip at her water. "You mean James is there too? James Potter, you ex?"

Lily nodded, hoping to pass off the ordeal as something that wasn't a big deal.

"Honestly, Lily. Come stay with me. Living with your ex boyfriend... when your amist a fight with your current boyfriend -"

"Drake and I are no longer together, Talia." Lily slapped her menu onto the table, causing Talia to jump.

"Hm. Yes, well, you and Drake have taken breaks before. It's not like you've never slept on my couch." Talia crossed her arms.

"He's never cheated on me with his secretary before, either!" fumed Lily.

"Merlin, Lily. You're being ridiculous. You're living with James Potter! Your first love! Don't think I don't remember you two at Hogwarts... 7th year... always sneaking off to hogsmeade... Merlin knows how you even got there, let alone what you were doing there!"

"Excuse me? Are you insinuating that James and I did inappropriate things?" scowled Lily.

"Not then, you were young then. You're not a teenager anymore, Lily. You can't just live with your ex boyfriend!" Talia scoffed. "It's not like people wont talk, like no one will find out!"

"What if we're friends? What if James and I are just friends? Can I not live with a friend?" But before Talia could answer, the waiter was at their tables, ready to take their orders. Lily, who had previously forgotten her hunger, quickly ordered a sandwich and Vanilla Pumpkin Juice.

Talia sighed when the man walked away. "Listen, Lily. It's not like your relationship with James has ever been under-wraps. Everyone knows you hated him until your seventh year of Hogwarts, and no one can believe why you ever agreed to date him, though talk of a love potion-"

"-James did not slip me a love potion!" Lily gasped unbelievably.

"Yes, Yes, I know, but then you hated him again when he left - and what, you're just going to forgive him, now? The two of you are just going to live together like nothing ever happened?"

"It's not live I've forgiven him." Lily sipped at her newly delivered drink. "I just need somewhere to live, and I'm not imposing on you."

"It's not imposing, It's being practical." Talia shrugged. Lily rolled her eyes, and quickly changed the subject. It had been four years since her conversations revolved around James Potter, and she wasn't looking to bring it back. She was perfectly content with her life.

"Where are you off to now?" Talia asked, as their empty plates were being cleared from the table.

"Drake's. I need my things. My clothes and such?" Lily gabbed her purse from the chair and stood to leave.

"You just plan to walk in there and gather your things? Good luck." Laughed Talia.

"I'm not about to buy a whole new wardrobe. Besides. Drake works late most days - he may not even be there."

"Again, good luck." Talia shook her head, and gave her friend a quick good-bye hug.

Jen Riddle
9-24-10

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