I do not own Zelda.
Ilia was bouncing up and down. "Linky-linky-linky-linky-linky!" Link growled and held his head in his hands. "Oh, god, please! Have mercy!" He moaned to the heavens.
"I have answered your prayers, my son." A booming voice rang out. Suddenly, a giant hand grabbed Ilia and took her away. "LINKYYYY! HEEELP!" "Holy shit." Link widened his eyes and ran back to the house.
"PUT ME DOWN!" Ilia wailed as she was dangling over a fiery land of magma and brimstone. "My child, I have doomed thee to a life in Hell. Have fun." God dropped Ilia into Hell and she landed in a lake of fire.
"OOOOOOOOWWWW! IT'S HOT!" She shrieked as she tried to get out. "Slience, sinner!" Satan boomed. "You are my prisoner here!" The red guy laughed evilly.
10 minutes later....
"MAKE HER STOP!" Satan wailed as he covered his ears. "And I like pumpkins, cupcakes, monkeys, mice, cupcakes...." She rattled on. Satan couldn't take anymore and threw her into the deepest level of Hell. "HAVE FUN BEING FROZEN, BITCH!" He roared after her. Ilia screamed as she fell into the ice and froze into ice cubes.
Meanwhile, Link came out of the house and sighed. "Thank god that's over." "You're welcome, my son." "AAAAAAAAAAH!" Link ran back into the house and hid under the bed.
TBC