I do not own Zelda or Bleach.
Ilia was picking flowers from a nearby field. "Ooh, my linky-winky!" She cooed out.
"I'm gonna make love to him and have his babies and we'll grow old-"Suddenly, a black cat leapt on her lap and began rubbing against her groin.
"GET OUT OF THERE, YOU PERVERTED CAT!" Ilia grabbed the cat and hurled it into the lake. "Thank goodness." With that, Ilia set off to her house.
Later, Ilia was wearing a nightie and was holding a bouquet of flowers. "I hope Linky likes this..." She smiled and walked towards his house. "Going somewhere?" A female's voice rang out.
"Yeah, I'm going to linky's house." Ilia snorted as if the voice didn't know the answer. "I'm gonna ask him to marry me." "I don't think so." The voice's owner stepped out from the bushes to reveal a sexy, buxom, dark-skinned girl.
"Who are you, you whore?" Ilia glared. "I'm your maker," The girl sneered. "Shihouin Yoruichi." Yoruichi crept into a pose. "Ask not for whom the bell tolls," She went into a blur and flew past Ilia, reappearing behind her. "For it tolls for thee."
Ilia turned around, only to have her head fall off, as well her arms and legs. Yoruichi stood up. "That's for throwing me into that fucking lake." She spat on Ilia's corpse.
Link had been watching the whole thing from his house and his eyes was fixated on Yoruichi's bust. "Now that's what I call a femme fatale." He grinned as Yoruichi left the scene, shaking her hips sensuously.
TBC.