I do not own LoZ: Twilight Princess or Godzilla.
Ilia was clinging to her love, Link, who was very annoyed. "Linky~" She cooed into his ear. "What?" Link hissed out. "I was wondering if you'd take me out on a date?" Ilia nibbled on his ear.
Link wanted something so bad to happen to that annoying brat on his back. Suddenly, a loud stomping noise echoed throughout the forest. "What was that?" Link raised his head and saw a looming shadow north of him. "What's what, Linky-Poo?" Ilia asked.
Link couldn't answer, for a giant dinosaur erupted from the trees, its loud roar petrifying the people. "IT'S GODZILLA!!!" A random person cried. Everyone in the village ran like all get out as the King of All Monsters stomped his way through town. "RUN!" Link took off like the wind, leaving Ilia behind.
"Linky?" Ilia looked after him. "DON'T LEAVE MEEEEE!" Godzilla roared as it looked down towards the source of the noise. Ilia looked up towards Godzilla and glared. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" Ilia rushed at the big beast and only managed to kick Godzilla's toe, because she was too small.
Godzilla just snorted and walked right past her. "YOU BIG BASTARD!" Ilia pulled out a potion and drunk it, making her the same size as the monster king. "RAWG!" Ilia tackled Godzilla from behind and bashed her fists onto his head. Godzilla roared in anger and flung her off his back and swiped his claws across her chest, leaving bloody gashes.
Ilia grabbed a tree and proceeded to shove it up his asshole. Godzilla grabbed Ilia and swung her around and tossed her across the village and into the field. Ilia hurled boulders at Godzilla, but they did nothing to slow him down. Godzilla took a big breath and spewed his Atomic Breath upon her, burning her skin. "AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!" Ilia howled in pain as she fell.
Godzilla rushed towards her and brutally beat her to an inch of her life. Finally, he grabbed Ilia and sliced off her head, sending it flying into the blue sky. The King of All Monsters roared as he left Hyrule; his work was done.
Meanwhile, at Lake Hylia...
"I hear the fish are biting again." One fisherman remarked. "Yup." Another remarked. "I wish something would fall right out of the sky." A third fisherman sighed. Suddenly, Ilia's head dropped into the lake, scaring the shit out of the three fishermen. "HOLY SHIT!" they screamed, fear evident in their voices.
Ilia's head began smoking as it turned into foam. "The others are never gonna believe us," The first fisherman whispered. The other two nodded.
TBC.