I do not own Zelda: Twilight Princess. Nintendo does. Sorry about the wait. I was busy with stuff, but now I'm back and I can make more chapters. HOORAY! :D
Ilia was walking along in a field smiling to herself. "LALALALALA!" She sang with carefree ease. "Oh my Linky, oh my Linky, oh my DARLING LINKY-POO!"
Suddenly, an arrow fell from the sky and landed near her feet. "AAH!" She shrieked as she fell on her ass. "What the hell?"
Ilia got up and tried to run, but a large bandit carrying an axe stood in her way. "Hello, girlie!" He grinned evilly. "What's a sweet thing like you doing in a place like this?"
"None of your business!" Ilia snapped and tried to run off, but the bandit grabbed her. "Oh no, you ain't!" He sneered.
"LEMME GO!" Ilia shrieked right into his ear. "AGGH!" The bandit dropped her and she ran into the woods.
Before she could even go inside, a hand axe flew past her and her head fell to the ground. "Stupid bitch!" Snarled the bandit. Suddenly, he was skewered through by Marth's Falchion.
Meanwhile, Link was in town, on a date with Sheeda. "I have to go now," The Pegasus knight got up and left the café. "See ya!" Link waved after her.
"Man, that went better than I expected." Link smirked as he put the thought of Ilia out of his mind.
TBC.
Man, making 50 chapters of this is hard work. I'll post a chapter with Jason killing Ilia soon, though. :P