AN: Here I am with another chapter. I finally managed to write more than a few lines.
Just one quick note: for the sake of my story (not that it's really that important, but anyway…), Izzie returned to the hospital in episode 5.
DISCLAIMER: Same as usual.
CHAPTER 4 – If you ever need a friend
When Addison woke up that morning she felt more tired than she was the night before. She didn't get much sleep, she was too worried about her talk to Derek. Meredith was right, she owed him the truth. But she knew that would destroy every attempt of friendship they were trying to have.
So she walked to the hospital with a killer headache, two hours of sleep and in her mind the vision of Derek's possible reactions. Even if she tried to convince herself that maybe Derek wouldn't care, she knew she was just fooling herself.
First thing she did when she arrived at Seattle Grace was looking for her ex-husband, but he was already in surgery.
"Damn, I wanted to talk to him as soon as possible!" she thought, heading to the locker room, her head deep in her thoughts, so much that she didn't see someone turning the corner and reading a chart until the two bodies collided.
"Oh shit, sorry, I..." tried to apologize Addison, then she looked up and she saw a very amused Meredith who was staring at her.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing, is just...I don't know, this kind of language doesn't suit you." replied the intern, smiling.
Addison rolled her eyes. "You know, Meredith, I can say a lot worst then just shit!"
"Can't wait to find out this side of Addison Forbes Montgomery! Anyway, how are you? You look tired, and distracted."
"I barely slept last night." sighed Addison picking up the chart Meredith dropped and giving it back to her.
"I have to talk to Derek today about Mark and I was worried. I looked for him first thing this morning, but he's in surgery. And I have to focus on my job but all I can think about is Derek."
"I see. Relax, Addison. He will forgive you...eventually..." said Meredith, not really believing her own words.
"You're not helping, Grey!" complained Addison, with a laugh. "Anyway, I better go. I'll see you around."
"Will you come find me after you're done?" asked the younger woman. "Let me know how it goes, ok?"
Addison nodded and walked away to the locker room.
-o-
It was almost the end of her shift when Addison finally found Derek in the hallway. "Derek!" she tried to stop him.
He was smiling and he looked so happy that she felt awful at the idea of telling him the truth about her and Mark.
"Hey, you know what I like? I like that we're civilized. We're these adult grown up people who can be divorced and friendly. We deserve a medal!" smiled Derek.
That was just perfect! Just perfect! Now it was ten times harder to tell him that she was with Mark after he left. But there was no going back. It was now or never. "It wasn't a one night stand!"
Derek's face suddenly changed. "What?"
"Mark and I. It wasn't a one night stand. I was in love with him. Or...at least I thought I was. After you left we lived together for two months. I wanted to believe that we could make it work, that I hadn't thrown my marriage away, that I hadn't thrown my life away on a fling. But...he's Mark...and, well...I caught him with someone else, and...and then Richard called. We both had a relationship with other people, we're both equally liable, for everything, so, please, take the Brownstone."
Derek's eyes were hard on her. He was mad, she could tell. "All I want is Seattle. I want Seattle and I want never to see you again!"
He walked away, leaving her standing there. She was shocked by his reaction. She had pictured him screaming, calling her names, but that...that was worse. She managed to stop her tears to start falling. Because even if they were divorced, even if she said she wasn't in love with him anymore, she still loved him, and she wanted them to be friends. That's why she told him the truth, cause she couldn't stand to build a relationship, a new relationship with her ex-husband, on lies. But Derek's look...it hurt her. It hurt her so much she felt like there was something pressing her chest that made her hard to breathe. She wanted to go to her hotel room and cry her eyes out. She was going back to the locker room to change, when she was stopped by Mark.
"I heard the conversation between you and Derek. I'm sorry, but at least you don't have to feel guilty anymore." he smirked, and she knew he wanted to go back to her room with her.
"Shut up Mark! And leave me alone!" she replied harshly, pulling away from his grip. The last thing she needed was more sex with Mark. Or maybe it was exactly what she needed, some sort of release...but she couldn't do it. It didn't feel right. So she ran away, she went hiding in the locker room, far from Mark and from Derek. She was ready to go home, but there was something she needed to do before.
"Hey, you paged?" asked Meredith when she entered the locker room.
"Yeah, sorry to bother you, but I'm heading home and I wanted to tell you that I did it...I told Derek."
"Oh! How did it go?" Meredith didn't really need an answer. It was clear from the look on Addison's face how the conversation with Derek had end.
"He told me he doesn't want to see me ever again. But he didn't shout, that's good." sighed Addison.
The intern took a step closer to the redhead and closed the gap between them, pulling her in a tight hug. It felt so weird but so good at the same time. "I'm so sorry, Addison. I really am, but I still think you've done the right thing. Are you ok?"
Addison shook her head. She was far from ok.
"Look, my shift ends in two hours. Do you want to wait for me and come to my place? We could have dinner and watch a movie, or something. So you won't have to stay alone, thinking about him." proposed Meredith.
"Thank you, but...I think I'll go to the hotel. I'm really tired, I'll eat something in my room and maybe have a bath before going to sleep. But thank you, really." smiled Addison.
Meredith wasn't sure letting Addison being alone that night was for the best, but she knew she couldn't force the attending to come to her place if she didn't want to...they weren't that close yet. So she sighed and made Addison promise that she would call her if she wanted some company.
-o-
Two hours later, Meredith's shift was over and she was ready to go home with her friends. She was changing clothes, when she decided to text Addison, just to check if she was ok.
Hey, my shift's over. I hope u r ok and asleep now. M.
Addison's reply was quick.
Can't sleep. I tried but I can't stop thinking about Derek's face today. Headache is killing me, I tried wine and I tried painkillers, nothing works. But don't worry, I'll be better tomorrow. Have a goodnight. A.
Meredith read the text and decided there was no way she would leave Addison alone drinking, crying and mixing painkillers with alchool. She had to do something for the woman that was slowly becoming her friend.
"Meredith, are you ready to go?" asked Izzie, snapping Meredith out of her thoughts.
"Uhm, you know what, guys...I have something to do. Just take my car and go home, I'll take a cab later. Goodnight!"
"Ooooh, dirty date...is it McDreamy? Or McVet? Or someone new?" Izzie teased her, having noticed that she had received a text.
"There's no dirty date, Iz. Derek and I are over, for good. And Finn...well, I think you can say we're over as well. I just have somewhere to be...not for sex!" replied Meredith rolling her eyes.
She left her friends in the parking lot and walked to the Archfield, when suddenly she realized that she didn't know in which room Addison was. She could have asked at the reception, but she knew they protected their guests' privacy, so she just decided to text Addison again and ask her the number of her room.
I'm coming to keep you company. What's your room's number? Don't even try to send me home, I'm already here in the lobby. M.
After Addison's text, she made her way to room 2214 and she knocked the door.
Addison opened the door and let Meredith in. She was wearing a silk dark blue short nightgown, she wasn't wearing any make up and her eyes were red for too much crying, but she still looked beautiful as usual.
"How come you manage to look perfect even when you're in your bed crying?" asked Meredith to break the silence.
"I'm far from perfect, Meredith, have you seen my eyes? Anyway, you're crazy, you know that? What are you doing here? Aren't you tired?" She was happy that Meredith was there. She didn't want to be alone, but her being her, she didn't want to ask for company either.
"I'm here cause I'm a doctor, Addison, and you mixing wine and painkillers worried me. But now that I know you're alive, I can leave, if you want me to." said Meredith, not really wanting to leave.
The older woman smiled. "No, it's ok, I'm glad you're here. Can I offer you something? Wine?"
Meredith shook her head. "A beer would be better."
Addison nodded and opened the small fridge to take a beer, pointing the couch. "Please, sit down."
"You don't have to be so formal, Addison!" laughed Meredith. "I'm here after a long shift to make sure you're ok, I didn't even take a shower, so I'm a mess, and you're in your nightgown. I think you can relax."
Addison smiled and handed the bottle to Meredith, taking a long sip from hers. The two women sat on the couch in silence, not knowing exactly what to talk about.
"So...how was your shift? asked Addison. She wasn't really fond of the small talk, but she didn't want to talk about Derek anymore. She didn't want to cry anymore.
"It wasn't as funny as it was yesterday with you and the woman with her husband stuck inside of her!"
Addison laughed. "Yeah, same here. But we can't be this lucky every day, can we?"
The two women talked for a while, drinking their beers, laughing and sharing medical experiences. Meredith was mesmerized by Addison's memories. The surgeon really had a lot of experience and it was fascinating listening to her. Meredith's wish was to become at least half of the surgeon Addison was. She felt a little ashamed, cause she didn't have a lot of stories to share.
Addison seemed to notice that Meredith was a little bit uncomfortable. "Meredith, it's ok, you're still an intern. You've just started your career. I'm sure you'll become a great surgeon one day."
"How do you know I was thinking about that?" asked Meredith shocked.
"I recognized the look on your face. It's the same look I had when I was an intern and I was listening to the attendings sharing their experiences. We all have our dreams, Meredith, we all want to be great. And from what I've seen in these past months, I can promise you, you'll be great. Even more than your mother."
Meredith blushed. "Now you're lying. I can't be better than my mother."
"You will. I'm sure." said Addison, touching Meredith's hand softly.
Meredith smiled gratefully for these words. It meant the world to her, knowing that someone as talented as Addison believed in her.
"Uhm, it's kinda late, so I think I'll go home. Do you think I can find a cab in front of the hotel, or is it better if I call one from here?" said Meredith. She didn't want to go home, but Addison was better and it was really late.
"I think you can find one, but you can stay here if you want." suggested Addison. "You're right, it's pretty late and here's close to the hospital. I'll sleep on the couch, you can have the bed."
"Don't be silly, Addison!" laughed Meredith. "There's no way you're sleeping on the couch in your own room! It's a king-size bed, there's enough room for the both of us!"
Addison nodded, and went to the closet to find something for Meredith to sleep in. She threw a Columbia t-shirt on the bed. "I hope it'll fit."
Meredith thanked Addison and went into the bathroom to change. When she was done, Addison was already under the covers. She laid down next to the redhead and turned off the light on the nightstand.
"Thank you for coming here, Meredith." whispered Addison in the dark. "I haven't realized how much I needed someone with me tonight till you came here."
"Stop thanking me, Addison. We're friends. I'll always be there for you if you need me." replied Meredith softly.
Addison smiled, and even if it was dark, Meredith could feel the other woman's smile.
"Goodnight Meredith."
"Goodnight Addison."