Ranma and Kasumi sat at the dinner table in Dysnomia Castle and quietly at the dinner that had been prepared for them. Personally, Kasumi felt like she was in one of those mangas where an ordinary girl was somehow transported into a magical world and caught the eyes of the local nobleman. She watched in amazement and wonder as Ranma calmly ate his dinner, the absence of Genma's presence and Eris's coaching vastly improved the young champion's manners, like the noble lord of the castle he was. Golems of all shapes, sizes, and colors moved about the castle as servants. Several golems were playing traditional Japanese music in the background much to Kasumi's delight.
Kasumi glanced over to Ranma and politely stated, "Thanks for bringing me here Ranma. I don't think I've ever had a date that was as magical as this one. Out of curiosity, how did you arrange all of this?"
A faint blush appeared on Ranma's face and he replied, "I didn't. Eris is the one who came up with all of this. In all honesty, I was acting like a chicken with its head cut off when I tried to figure out what to do for our date."
Giggles poured out of Kasumi as her imagination conjured up the image of her fiancée running about in panic like the typical male lead in a romantic anime. Ranma shot her a questioning glance and the reincarnated sorceress merely waved him off. "I just remembered something funny, that's all Ranma."
Ranma nodded his head, but he was still confused as hell. Why on earth were women so complicated? Ranma doubted he'd ever understand the other gender even if he was ever cursed to turn into a girl. But then again, maybe guys just weren't meant to understand girls.
The golem band in the background changed their music style and started playing Bach as the duo returned to eating. Neither of them talked as they finished up dinner and the servants brought desert to the table. Kasumi selected a slice of chocolate cake with a side of ice cream while Ranma took generous helping of cannolis.
Eventually, Kasumi decided it to break the silence between them. "Ranma, how do you feel about being my fiancée?"
Ranma as so shocked at that unexpected question that he dropped his fork onto his plate and stared like a fish at Kasumi. "Huh? What do you mean Kasumi?"
Kasumi set her fork down and firmly looked into Ranma's eyes. "What are your feelings on the two of us getting married? Does my 'situation' bother you? How do you see the two of us as? Am I just a comrade in arms to you, a 'ball and chain' as some would put it, someone you have to learn to deal with, or am I something else?" The young sorceress sighed and then looked at her plate. "We lie about so many things don't we Ranma? Senshi Eris and Lilith are like masks we put on in battle to frighten our enemies and distract the public. 'Ranma' and 'Kasumi' are masks we put on to keep our families happy. I don't want there to be any lies between the two of us; even a cold, harsh truth would be wonderful with all the lies we live in."
The young champion closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts. Ranma then opened his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't know what to make of us Kasumi. I honestly don't know." Ranma's knuckles started to turn white as his forced himself to do the hardest thing he could think of: revealing his thoughts to a girl. "There's a lot about you that I find, er, I find interesting. Your caring nature is at the top of the list closely followed by your ability to kick youma ass. When your father showed you and your sisters off, I saw that you were the most beautiful and breathtaking. Kissing you, well Lilith you, really made my day after a fight and I'd, um, want to do that again. Speaking of Lilith, she doesn't bother me since she's you. It's great that you aren't some helpless chick, you know, like in the TV shows."
Ranma's face was now almost cherry red and sweat was practically pouring down his back. This had to be the newest level of hell! Ranma didn't want to disappoint Kasumi by withholding anything. However, he didn't want to say anything since he didn't have an idea about what he was feeling in the first place. Inside Ranma's mind the young champion was wondering where his usual bravo and courage had fled and hidden themselves. Ranma barely was able to whisper out, "I want you". After that, his mouth clamped up and his tongue refused to say another syllable.
Kasumi heard Ranma's words clear as day and blushed as memories started to unfold in her mind. Many men had said those words before to her past lives. Love, desire, passion, and lust were old companions throughout Kasumi's lifetimes. Even though Kasumi's memories of the past were dulled when she wasn't using her powers, she still could remember these constants in her lives. Not that it was too surprising given that she had been the original face to launch a thousand ships.
"Thank you for being honest with me Ranma. It means a lot." Kasumi decided to let Ranma think she hadn't heard his last sentence. An awkward silence descended on the table as Ranma tried to figure out if he had offended Kasumi in any way. For her part, Kasumi was content with what she had found out. She had a decent fiancé that wasn't freaked out about her oddities and who was interested in her. That was more than enough for her to work with and have a happy marriage. Kasumi got up, walked over to Ranma, and gently kissed his cheek.
During her long life, Setsuna had encountered several events that she wished she could use her powers to prevent said events from ever happening. The Black Death and the Holocaust being to prime examples of things she wished she could change. Currently, Setsuna was seriously contemplating adding mandatory school talent shows to that list. For some asinine reason or another, the school's vice-principal thought it would be wonderful to start an annual talent contest. Setsuna had tried to bail stating the need to grade papers. Unfortunately for her and over half of the teachers the vice-principal had declared that ALL teachers would be at the show to show support for the students. The only way that the teachers could hope to wiggle out of the talent show was to call the principal.
However, none of the teachers was about to contact You-Know-Who. The nut was reportedly several thousand miles away in Hawaii and that's exactly how everyone wanted to keep things. Of course, this meant that Setsuna was forced sit through the past two hours watching one bizarre and painful to watch demonstration after another. Now, Setsuna was willing to give credit where credit is due and admit that the tea ceremony that Sayuri performed was flawless. But one good routine did not mitigate the pain of watching the other performances.
Setsuna would have let out a sigh of relief when the vice-principal announced, "And now for our last contestant. Would Mr. Hikaru Gosunkugi please take the stage and state what talent you will be demonstrating?"
A pale and scrawny young man walked onto the stage and over to the podium carrying an oversized briefcase. Hikaru picked up the mike and nervously spoke to the audience of annoyed students. "I will now demonstrate the summoning of a demon." To Hikaru's surprise most of the students started snickering and some burst into outright laughter at that announcement. Even a few teachers had to cover their mouths to keep from laughing.
Not everyone was laughing at Hikaru's announcement. Both Setsuna's and Ranma's thoughts were the same on this latest performance. 'What the hell? Is that dumbass really going to try and summon a demon in a room full of people? Okay, where's the nearest exit so I can transform when this all blows up. Calm down a second, this is Voodoo Gosunkugi. That wannabe is NEVER able to actually perform the magic he tries to do. Yah, I'll just sit here and watch as he futilely tries to summon something.'
Up on the stage Gosunkugi continued to trace out a summoning circle ignoring the snickers from the crowd. He'd show them just how unfounded their disbelief was; especially considering his secret ingredient. Gosunkugi had laboriously visited the various battlefields Senshi Eris had fought on and collected the magical dust he had discovered was left over from the mysterious warrior's battles. Obviously, this dust had tremendous magical powers and would be far more useful than the dime store chalk his previous summoning circles had been made from.
Ranma and Setsuna's first inkling that the shit was about to hit the fan came in the form of a massive chill down their spines as Gosunkugi started chanting. Then without further warning the summoning circle flared to life. Black flames erupted from the chalk and blood red smoke billowed out from the fire. Gosunkugi was so deliriously happy with success that he started break dancing on the stage. Students started screaming as the smoke took the form of a glowing western dragon's skeleton.
Instantly the two planetary champions jumped into action. Setsuna called out to her fellow teachers, "This way! We'll have to go around the stadium and to the other side to make sure that the kids escape safely." She then proceeded to lead her frightened coworkers to the backstage of the auditorium. Once the teachers reached the emergency exit Setsuna called out, "I'll head back and make sure that all the students leave. You check to make sure they make it out." Setsuna didn't wait for a reply and quickly double backed to a safe place for her to transform.
Ranma had called out to Shampoo when Setsuna started leading the teachers to safety. "Hey Shampoo! Start punching hole in the walls so we can have more exits. I'll keep ugly busy while everyone escapes." Shampoo wanted to contest her son's decision, but Ranma had already jumped onto the stage. Immediately after landing, Ranma's first action was to pick Gosunkugi up and threw him to safety.
The demonic entity didn't bother to pay attention to the status of its summoner. As far as it was concerned, Gosunkugi was immaterial. What did matter was the fact that it had a smorgasbord of souls to feast upon. The dragon turned its head towards the panicking students and wonder just which of these delectable and frightened mortals it should devour first.
"Kaijin Raishu Dan!" Two vacuum blades raced towards the demon and slammed into the base of its neck. The demonic dragon let out a growl of frustration and turned to look at a smirking Ranma. "Hey ugly," the young Saotome called out in full bravado, "Your fight is with me." Ranma then stretched out his left leg into the air by his side and extended his arms in a similar manner. "Kaijin Raishu Dan Revised: Rudra's Raging Dance!" Dozens of vacuum blades flew from Ranma as his arms and feet whipped about faster than the eye could see. Unlike Genma's Kaijin Gun-Dai Ran Bu, Ranma's Rudra's Raging Dance allowed him to aim the vacuum blades he created.
The young champion grimly noted the cracks in the dragon's skeleton every time a blade struck the beast and the fact that the damage was almost instantly healed. This was unbelievable; he was throwing around enough firepower to demolish the entire school and this creature was just taking it! Ranma frowned and considered is options. Transforming into Senshi Eris was apparently his only option. Now, if everyone would just leave the stadium so he could transform instead of having to be the irritant.
Rage was rapidly building in the dragon. This insignificant mortal was becoming a literal pain in the neck! Furthermore, the boy's attack was allowing its lunch to escape. That was something the demonic entity couldn't stand for. The dragon turned its head towards Ranma shot a black ball of flames at the boy.
Ranma immediately jumped into the air to doge the fireball. In midair he whipped out his cell phone and hit the speed dial. A cheerful voice came over the phone. "Hello, this is Kasumi Tendo and you have reached the Tendo dojo. How can I help you today?"
"Hey Kasumi its Ranma, I've got a little situation here at the school. Look's like there's a practical job demonstration at the auditorium. Want to come over and watch?"
"Oh my Ranma, I'll be over there in just a minute. Goodbye and I'll see you when I get to the school."
Ranma quickly said goodbye to Kasumi and then turned off his phone. The young champion grabbed hold of a nearby rafter beam and pivoted himself onto the rafter. He then crossed his arms and called out, "Eris Planet Power, Glamour On!" A familiar bluish-black smoke cloud covered Ranma's body and then dissipated to reveal Senshi Eris.
Down in the auditorium, the demon let out a dark chuckle now that the irritant was gone. It was slightly annoyed that the mortals had fled the room in terror, but that wasn't a major concern. Hunting down one's prey always made their terror all the sweeter. The Dragon was just about break through a wall to begin its hunt when a Death Scream slammed into its ass.
Sailor Pluto quickly fired two more Death Screams at the dragon and then walked onto the stage. The oldest living champion frowned as she waited for the dust to settle. "How much bite do you have demon?" Sailor Pluto muttered to herself.
A screech of rage immediately came from the dust cloud and the dragon emerged from the cloud. Sailor Pluto quickly rolled to the left to avoid the dragon's teeth as it lunged for her. While turning her head, Sailor Pluto noticed a figure jump down from the rafters and grabbed something on his back. A loud cry of "Chaos Slash Revised: Oceloti Claws!" filled the room as a massive blackish-blue crescent of energy flew from the figure to the dragon. The Oceloti Claws cut one of the dragon's wings off and sliced a few feet off its tail.
Senshi Eris landed next to Sailor Pluto and called out, "Just who the hell are you?"
Resisting the urge to smack her help, Sailor Pluto responded, "The name's Sailor Pluto. Don't you know that you're supposed to introduce yourself before asking someone their name?"
Both champion quickly separated to avoid a fireball from the dragon. Senshi Eris then shot back, "I'm Senshi Eris. Now I see why Eris was going on about the uniforms the other spirits had selected for their champions. She'd blow a gasket if her champion was dressed in a hentai school girl outfit!" Senshi Eris then fired of a Chaos Slash to slow the regeneration of the wing he had severed.
Sailor Pluto fired off a Death Scream with more furry than normal at the dragon. Mock her uniform would he? She didn't care if this punk might just be the champion she'd been looking for. "Oh," Sailor Pluto shouted out across the auditorium, "and just what would you know about fashion? You're the one who looks like a 80s reject!"
Senshi Eris was about to fire another verbal volley when a miniature dust cyclone appeared above the dragon. The dust cloud quickly dissipated with Lilith appearing parallel to the dragon. Lilith stretched out her hand and fired a Bendis Blast into the dragon's back. She then landed on the beast's head and used it as a springboard to land next to Senshi Eris. "So Stud Boy, what are we beating up this time?"
Quickly disregarding his new nickname, Senshi Eris replied, "A demon summoned by a moron. The circle the dodo used is over there. Oh, we've got some extra help this time."
Lilith glanced over at Sailor Pluto and then shrugged her shoulders. "Pluto, you and Eris here should keep that demon busy while I study the summoning circle. Once I exam the circle I can figure out how to banish it back to whatever hell it came from." The reincarnated sorceress then practically flew over to smoldering remains of the summoning circle.
For some reason Sailor Pluto couldn't help but agree to Lilith's plan. It didn't make sense why by the goddess she'd follow some stranger's orders. However, something deep within the old champion couldn't help but trust Lilith's judgment. Sailor Pluto quickly decided that the important issue was stopping the dragon and she'd just follow Lilith's plan for now. Once the demon was gone she could focus on her oddball assistances.
Lilith kneeled before the summoning circle trying to take in every aspect of it and did not like what she found. "I'll kill whoever made this," Lilith muttered under her breath as she drew on her past lives knowledge. The sorceress was interrupted by the sound of Oceloti Claws going off in the background. "You can't kill the demon Stud Boy! Its real body isn't here. The bozo who summoned him pulled the demon's soul into a faux body that will regenerate any damage it takes. The only way for the demon to disappear is for it to either complete its assigned task or through a particular method of banishment. Unfortunately, the baka forgot to include what the task is so I need time to banish the monster and I can't do that if you bring down the school!"
Senshi Eris nodded his head and put away his talisman; no need to waste the power if he was just going to be an annoyance. He then jumped out of the way of a fireball and landed next to Sailor Pluto. The duo instantly moved closer together to reduce their profile. Senshi Eris then whispered, "Hey Short Skirt, what do you say I take right and you take left with alternating fire?"
"Watch it Hairball, but that sounds good. You fire first on three, two, one!" The two champions sprang apart and quickly followed through with Senshi Eris's plan.
Sailor Pluto and Senshi Eris had almost met again on the other side of the dragon when Lilith jumped up into the air. The sorceress stretched out her right hand and it started to glow. Lilith quickly moved her hand in a large sweeping circle with the energy in her hand trailing behind to create a glowing circle. She then put her hands in the center of the circle and began to chant in Sanskrit. Both champion watched as a vortex appeared in the circle and the dragon's body started breaking up. The body fragments flew towards the vortex and in a few moments the demon was gone.
While civil authorities tried to sort out the damage to Furinkan, the three heroes had retreated to a nearby building's roof. Senshi Eris was sitting on the roof with his back resting against the door to the staircase. Lilith was lying on her fiancee's lap in such a way that Senshi Eris would get a face full of cleavage if he looked down. Sailor Pluto was standing a few feet in front of the duo and she was leaning on the Garnet Rod. The Guardian of Time glanced at her companions and said, "I think that a few introductions are in order now that we aren't fighting for our lives. As I stated earlier, my name is Sailor Pluto. I am the chosen of Pluto holding the titles of Soldier of Revolution and Guardian of Time. You two are?"
"Name's Senshi Eris, the Warrior of Chaos and Evolution. I got the position by toughest and most stubborn fighter on the planet. The lady in my lap is my fiancée Lilith; a sorceress with more magical knowledge than anyone else alive thanks to several dozen lifetimes of experience. We now know who we all are in superhero mode, so now what?"
A faint blush appeared on Sailor Pluto's face when Senshi Eris asked that. "I don't know you two. I've been trying to find you, Senshi Eris, for the past two months to try and prevent any conflict between you and the Sailor Senshi. It's been such a pain trying to find a 'Sailor Eris' that I haven't really given this all a lot of thought." Normally Sailor Pluto wouldn't have been so free with this sort of information. However, she reasoned that honesty would be the best policy for handling her surprising fellow champion.
Senshi Eris nodded his head and then replied, "Gotcha." He then looked down and tried not to blush as he made eye contact with his fiancée. "What do you think about all of this Lilith?" The chaotic champion hoped his future wife's multiple lives would give her the experience to make the correct choice.
Lilith deliberately wiggled to direct her fiancé's attention to her bosom, reached up with a free hand, and sensuously caressed Senshi Eris's cheek. She then leaned up and started to aggressively kiss Eris's champion causing Sailor Pluto to get a little uncomfortable from the heat. Just as Senshi Eris was about to put a stop to Lilith's actions, the sorceress pulled back from the kiss and smirked. "Now that I've got my fix of you I can give my advice Stud Boy." Lilith then rolled off Senshi Eris and jumped to her feet. "We should stay on friendly relations with the Sailor Senshi. There's no since in us getting into a fight with them while the youma-"
Sailor Pluto immediately fell to the ground in pain. Lilith ran over to Sailor Pluto and hurriedly asked, "What's a matter? Is it a Dark Kingdom-"
"SHUT UP DEAR!" Senshi Eris yelled as Sailor Pluto thrashed about from the pain. He bolted towards his fellow champion and gently scooped her in his arms. Senshi Eris fervently tried to comfort Sailor Pluto and he turned to face Lilith. "She's suffering from a spell accidently cast by the Moon's champion. Hearing anything related to our usual enemies," he paused for a second as Sailor Pluto's body spasm, "hurts her. I saw this before when she was, if this is who I think she is, was in civilian form. However, it seems that channeling her spirit's powers have increased the powers of the spell."
Lilith nodded her head and then gently placed her hand on Sailor Pluto's forehead. She then softly whispered, "Hands of Hecate." The healing effects of Lilith's spell quickly placed Sailor Pluto to sleep and allowed the sorceress to examine the bewitched champion. Lilith frowned in disgust. "What is it with morons using magic today? Whoever cast this spell was a well meaning idiot with access to way too much power than they had any right to have."
Senshi Eris blinked his eyes in surprise. He had no idea how the spell worked; all he knew was that the magical experts in his life thought it was massive blunder. Senshi Eris then softly asked, "Is there a way to remove the spell?"
"Yes there is. However, it won't be simple Stud Boy. Because of the power behind the spell I need either the cast a counter spell while killing the caster or perform a full fledge purification ritual on Sailor Pluto. Option one is obviously out, but there's a problem with option two. Given the completeness of its effects, I can't perform it on a person in good conscience on Sailor Pluto without either her consent or the consent of someone who has power of attorney over her. However, I can't wake her up because of the pain the spell is putting her in."
Suddenly a firm masculine voice calmly said, "I have such power over her." Both Senshi Eris and Lilith whipped their heads around to see a man standing on the roof. The duo's gaze fell on a white man who was about mid-30s with a full and groomed dark brown goatee/mustache combo with a thick ponytail. The man was wearing designer black pants and black shirt with an expensive dark grey jacket. This mysterious stranger bowed his head and said, "Good afternoon Ranma Saotome and Kasumi Tendo. Allow me to introduce myself." He then walked towards the duo and snapped his fingers creating a business card. "The name is Pluto. I decided that since you two were discussing the condition of my champion that it was in my interests to make an appearance."
Senshi Eris frowned as he accepted the card. "How do I know you're telling me the truth? You could just be a good mage who's been observing Lilith and me."
Eris appeared next to her champion wearing an outfit inspired by Disney's Tinkerbell. "Hi Ranma, hi Kasumi, is my heir on the way yet?" The duo shot the chaotic spirit a 'are you joking' glare causing her to wink at them. "All joking aside, I would have preferred for this meeting to be under better circumstances. Let me put to rest any questions you might have on our new companion. This really is Pluto and he does have the right to decide what can happen to Sailor Pluto since she is his champion."
Pluto nodded his head, "Thank you for the assistance Eris. Now then Kasumi, can you please tell me what you need for the purification ritual so that I can acquire it?" The sorceress nodded her head and quickly began explaining what would be needed for the ritual she had in mind. Pluto then transported her and Sailor Pluto to his physical body for the ritual.
Seeing no reason to remain transformed, Senshi Eris returned to being Ranma. He glanced over to Eris and asked, "Why haven't you left? Not that I want you gone, it's just you don't normally hang around down here unless there's something you want to say or do."
Eris grinned at Ranma's comment. "So you can pay attention outside a fight! I'm so proud of you Ranma." Eris quickly calmed down and adopted a more serious tone as she continued. "I wanted to talk to you in private about something that you'll find uncomfortable. First off, let me state that Kasumi knows all about what I'm going to say and she accepts what I'm about to say. Ranma, Kasumi won't be the only woman to bare your children."
"WHAT? How can you say that Eris? I'm not about to cheat on Kasumi-" Ranma couldn't say anything else as Eris put her fingers on his lips to silence him.
The planetary spirit sighed and then tried to explain. "Kasumi may be your future wife, but she won't be your only partner. I plan on you taking at least several worthy and unattached women as concubines. Now I know you're uncomfortable with polygamy, but I need you to have many heirs and I can't expect Kasumi to bare all of them for you. Ask her the reason why later, I don't like talking about it. Just please trust me when I say I have a very good reason."
Part of Ranma was steaming at what Eris had said. What possible right could she have to decide something like that for him? However, Ranma decided to reluctantly trust Eris since she never did anything without a good reason. With a huff he said, "Fine."
Eris smiled and gave Ranma a bone crushing hug. "Thank you for not throwing a fit over this! Don't worry; you won't have to mate with your secondary mates until after you've done the deed with Kasumi. She gets first rights to you as your future wife after all. Now, I might start the selection process before you two get married, it all depend on when I can find women suitable to the position. Oh, if you're ever fighting someone and I tell you to capture them that will be because they're selected."
"Oh don't give me that look Ranma. You humans have been taking mates off of the battlefield for thousands of years and this isn't any different. At least I'll give a woman the choice between being your concubine or being sent to Earth stripped of their powers with enough resources to live a decent life. Besides, can you think of a better way to handle enemies than to convert their strengths into your future strengths?"
Ranma reluctantly nodded his head have to admit that there was a certain amount of truth in Eris's words. He then sighed and asked, "Is there anything else Eris?"
Eris tenderly rubbed her nose against Ranma's and then smirked. "Not at the moment Ranma. Remember; call me if you have any relationship questions." Eris then disappeared leaving Ranma alone on the roof.
Author Note: If you want to know what Pluto looks like, look up David Xanatos from Gargoyles. For those who might have a problem with Eris's decision concerning possible concubine 'acquisition' method, chill out. This is similar to the Amazonian laws, which Ranma falls under as Shampoo's 'son' except it includes those who you defeat who have either the potential or a skill you want. Also, this HAS been practiced for thousands of years. Don't believe me? Just pull out a bible and look at the rules concerning female captives.