AN: Here I am. I'm so sorry for the delay, I've been back home in Italy for two weeks and it was crazy, I was out every day all day, so I couldn't find the time to write a single word. But now I'm back.
This chapter is again for Clai, who annoyed the hell out of me to make me write it. So if it sucks, blame her cause she pressured me to write it fast :P
Anyway, I hope you like it. As usual, please review. As I said, reviews make me want to update faster!
DISCLAIMER: As usual.
CHAPTER 12 – Sorry seems to be the hardest word
Meredith couldn't sleep that night. She was too scared that Addison wouldn't forgive her for the horrible things she has said. She decided to go to the hospital early, to wait for Addison outside and apologize to her.
So it was 6 am, one hour before her shift started, and Meredith was pacing in front of the entrance of the SGH, nervously looking around her to spot Addison.
Finally, at 6.45, Meredith caught a glimpse of red hair approaching the hospital and she started running toward it.
"Addison, I'm sorry, I..."
Addison interrupted her. "Go away Meredith, I don't wanna talk to you!"
"Please, listen to me!" begged the intern.
"I said go away. I don't wanna talk to you ever again!" said Addison harshly. Her voice was so cold that Meredith froze in her spot. The attending went away, leaving Meredith speechless and heartbroken.
But she had to find a way to apologize to Addison. She couldn't believe that was the end. It couldn't be.
So she entered the hospital and went look for Bailey.
"Dr. Bailey. Look, I know you are the one making the assignments, and I know it's not fair to ask you for a special treatment, but I never asked you anything so please, just for once, can you put me on Dr. Montgomery's service for today? Please..."
Miranda sighed. Those damn interns and their damns private life matters. "I see what I can do Grey. Now go get ready for rounds."
Meredith nodded, thanked Dr. Bailey and went to join her friends in the locker room.
Miranda approached Addison as she was buying coffee in the cafeteria. "I just want to inform you that Grey asked me to be with you today."
"No way!" cried Addison. "Miranda, please...give me someone else...Karev...give me Karev, please..."
"Addison, what's going on with you and Karev? Do I have another attending sleeping with an intern?" asked Miranda, a little confused by Addison's reaction. She thought her and Meredith were friends.
"What? No!" laughed Addison. "I'm not sleeping with Karev...I'm not sleeping with any intern. It's just...he's good and he likes neo-natal, even if he won't admit it."
"If you say so..." Miranda gave Addison a skeptical look. "Anyway, today's his turn at the pit. But I'll give you someone else, someone that is not Grey."
"Thank you!" sighed Addison. "I better go. See you later, Miranda, and thanks again."
Miranda rolled her eyes. That wasn't a hospital anymore, it was more similar to an high school!
-o-
"These are your assignments for the day." said Bailey after the rounds. "Karev, you cover the pit. Stevens with Sloan, Grey with Torres, Yang with Montgomery, O'Malley with me. Now go."
"Dr Bailey, I thought I was with Dr Montgomery today!" complained Meredith, but Bailey gave her one of her "Nazi" looks.
"I said now go, Grey. No trades."
Meredith sighed and turned to Cristina. "I tried to talk to her today but she didn't listen. She said she doesn't want to talk to me ever again. What do I do?"
"Try again. I'm sorry, Mer, I would trade if I could, but Bailey is still upset with me for the whole Burke thing, so..."
"It's ok, don't worry." sighed again Meredith. "I'll see you later."
The two interns went on separate ways. Meredith realized that working with Callie could turn out useful. Maybe she could talk to her about Addison and ask her for some help.
She found the dark haired resident looking at the board.
"Grey...I heard you're with me today." she greeted her coldly, without even looking at her.
"I am. Uhm...is there something wrong Dr Torres?" asked Meredith, a little confused about the coldness of the resident. Though they were never friends, Callie used to be nice with Meredith.
"You wanna know what's wrong, Grey?" yelled the resident turning to face Meredith. "You, calling my best friend a slut. What were you thinking? You know better than anyone how Addison feels about what she did to Derek. How could you use that against her? Why? Why did you do it? I thought you were different, Grey, but you and your friends are only able to judge. You hurt her so bad, so yeah, I'm mad at you. She came to me, last night, crying, cause you called her a slut. How dare you? Why did you do it?"
"Because I'm in love with her!" shouted Meredith, grateful that the hallway was empty. She didn't want the whole hospital to know about her secret love for the redhead attending.
Callie widened her eyes. "You're in love? Oh my god! Meredith! This is...this is..."
"Insane, I know." sighed Meredith. She didn't intend to reveal her love for Addison to Callie, but it came out and now she felt like an idiot.
"Yeah, well...maybe...or maybe not...look, Meredith, I shouldn't tell you this, but I think Addie has feelings for you as well. I mean, she told me about your almost kiss." Meredith blushed. "And then yesterday she was looking at you like she was starving and you were a huge cupcake...and we both know her obsession with cupcakes."
"Are you serious? Callie, come on, there's no way she thinks of me as anything other than a friend." Meredith shook her head. "It's impossible."
The resident shrugged. "I don't know, Meredith, she doesn't look at me like this. And she doesn't talk about me like this. And I'm her friend, so...maybe she really does have feelings for you. Why don't you talk to her?"
"I tried." replied the intern. "But she doesn't want to talk to me. She said she doesn't want to talk to me ever again."
"She's just upset. You know what? Go find her now, we still have some times before our surgery. Talk to her, apologize and maybe later, go to her room and tell her how you feel. Look, I know Addison, even if she doesn't feel the same way, she could never cut you out of her life. Just give it a shot. It's worth it, isn't it?"
Meredith nodded. "I'll think about it. But you're right, I have to apologize first. I'll be back soon, ok? Just...if you see her, don't tell her that I love her...please..."
"Of course I won't. She has to hear it from you. Now go!"
Meredith left the hallway and went looking for Addison. This time she had to listen to her apology.
-o-
Addison was leaving her patient's room with the chart in her hands, when she saw Meredith coming in her direction. She sighed. She didn't really want to talk to her. She was still very upset about their fight, she had spent the whole night crying with Callie (and she felt guilty cause she forced her friend to spend the night with her instead of being with her husband) and seeing Meredith only made her want to cry some more. She didn't know why the intern's words upset her that much, but they did...they broke her heart and now there was nothing Meredith could say or do to excuse her.
"Addison, can we talk? Please, I really need to..."
But Addison didn't want to listen, so interrupted her again. "I'm working, Dr Grey. You should do that too."
"But I really need to..."
"I don't care what you need!" cried the attending, then she realized that everyone was staring at her and she lowered her voice. "Leave me alone, Meredith."
Meredith watched her leave and she sighed. And in that moment, all she could think of was the way her heart raced every time she heard Addison calling her name. It was something she couldn't explain. Addison had her own way to pronounce Meredith's name, that made the intern shiver. God, she was so in love!
But now she had to focus on something else. How could she make Addison listen to her? It's not like she could force her. Or maybe...Meredith had an idea, so she ran to Callie to ask her permission to scrub in later on her surgery.
One hour later, Meredith entered the OR where Addison was operating with Cristina.
"What are you doing here?" asked Addison, lifting her eyes from the patient.
"I'm going to talk and you're going to listen. You can't run from here, Addison, so you have to listen."
"Grey, go away, you can't be in here. I'm operating." said Addison annoyed.
"No, I'm not leaving this time Addison. You have to listen to me first."
"Grey, get the hell out of my OR or I swear to god I'll have you kicked out of this program the minute I close this woman up!" yelled Addison. What was she thinking, coming in the OR without permission to talk to her about their personal stuff?
"Meredith, you better go." whispered Cristina to her best friend, who nodded and left, apologizing to the staff in the OR. Damn, she was so sure it was going to work, but now she realized it was really stupid. Now Addison was even more pissed than before, if that was possible.
In the OR, Cristina shot a glance to Addison; the attending's eyes were starting to fill up with tears, but she shut them for a second, took a deep breath and focused again on her patient.
"You get that she loves you, right?" asked Cristina. She didn't know Addison that well and she knew it wasn't her business, but she couldn't see Meredith so upset any longer. Those two had to make up as soon as possible.
"Yang..." started Addison and Cristina hoped they could talk about it, even if it wasn't the best situation to do it. But Addison wasn't willing to continue that conversation. "More suction, please."
-o-
"You really are an idiot, Meredith!" sighed Callie after the intern told her what just happened in the OR. "I said talk to her, not ambush her while she's performing a surgery. You know how focused is Addison when she's working and you know how she hates nurses' gossip. What were you thinking?"
"I don't know!" cried Meredith. "It seemed a good idea at the time. I thought she couldn't run away in the OR, but she threatened me to make me cut off the program. Callie, what do I do now?"
"Drag her in a supply closet or in an on-call room, lock the door and don't make her leave until you apologize. God, Grey, I thought you were a smart girl!"
Meredith nodded and decided to block all those thoughts out of her head for a while. Now she needed to focus on the surgery.
Meanwhile, Addison was having a coffee with Derek after the surgery. It has become a new habit, to have a coffee together during the day and talk. They were friends now and it was nice to spend time together without fighting or ignoring each other.
Derek looked at his ex-wife and he noticed there was something wrong. Addison seemed upset, but above all, she seemed sad.
"Addie, what's up? You're strangely quiet today." he asked.
"I...I had a fight with Meredith, that's all. Not a big deal." replied Addison, staring at her coffee.
"Well, it doesn't look like it. What happened?"
"You don't wanna know." said Addison, not wanting to tell Derek that she slept with Mark again.
"Come on, Addie, you can talk to me. We're friends now, so don't worry. What happened?" pushed Derek. He hated seeing Addison sad, he caused her too much pain to last for a lifetime. He really wanted her to be happy now.
"Ok, but don't get mad. I don't need it right now." Derek nodded. "I...I slept with Mark...yesterday...I was still shocked about the whole toxic patient thing and confused about other stuff and he was so kind, so charming, so...Mark...he told me he loves me and...I don't know, I just couldn't resist. And Meredith walked in on us and she ran away and when I found her she started yelling at me. She called me a slut for sleeping with my husband's best friend. Once a whore, always a whore, that's what she said."
Derek looked like he was thinking about what to say and how to react. "Addie...it's ok, I'm not mad you slept with Mark again, if that's your concern. We're not married anymore, you can do whatever you want and I know how charming Mark can be. You can even be with him if you want, but I don't think he would treat you the way you deserve to be treated. But enough with that...about Meredith...why did she get so upset?"
"I don't know!" replied Addison. "I really don't know."
"Maybe she likes Mark!" suggested Derek.
"Come on Derek, it can't be!" said Addison, a little disgusted by the idea of "her" Meredith with Mark.
"Ok, so...why don't you ask her?" proposed the neuro-surgeon. "Talk to her and ask her."
Addison shook her head. "No, I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to see her ever again! I'm done!"
"Addie..." sighed Derek. "Stop being stubborn. Clearly this fight upsets you, and you care about her, so for once forget your pride and talk to her."
"I don't know. I don't think now I'm able to even look at her, let alone talk to her. So...we'll see."
Derek decided to drop the subject. When Addison was set on something, it was impossible to make her change her mind. So he asked her about her surgery and their conversation went on for a while, until his pager went off and he had to go.
Addison was almost done with her shift, so she was walking to the attending's locker room, when she felt a hand grab her arm and drag her in a supply closet.
When she realized it was Meredith, who was now locking the door and facing her, she started yelling.
"Meredith, let me go! I don't wanna talk to you, so open the damn door!"
"No!" said Meredith firmly. "Now you stay here and listen to me and then I let you go!"
Addison crossed her arms annoyed and snorted. "Ok, talk!"
"Look, Addie, I'm sorry. I've tried to tell you all day. I don't know why I said those things to you. You have every right to be mad at me, but please, you have to understand. I'm really sorry. I think it was just jealousy speaking."
"Jealousy?" asked Addison. God, maybe Derek was right after all. "Do you have a thing for Mark?"
Meredith laughed a little for Addison's assumption, but then she realized it wasn't the right time to laugh, so she became serious again. "It wasn't Mark who made me jealous..." She didn't want to spill it, but once again the words came out of her mind. Damn Addison Montgomery who made her impossible to control her thoughts!
"What...?" gasped Addison. Shit, so Meredith did have feelings for her. Cristina was right. Her guesses were right. Meredith was jealous of her!
Meredith bit her lower lip and turned around to leave. "I'm sorry" she whispered, making her way to the door.
"Meredith!" Addison called her and grabbed her wrist to stop her and make her turn around.
When Meredith turned to face the red head, she could feel tears starting to form in her eyes.
When Addison spotted the tears in the younger woman's eyes, she felt like someone had put a stake through her heart. "Meredith..." she said softly, in that way that made Meredith shiver; and in that moment, Meredith lost all her control.
She pulled Addison closer and finally did what she had longed to do in a very long time. She kissed her, not caring about the possible consequences of that. She kissed Addison because she couldn't hold it any longer. She needed to kiss Addison, to feel Addison close to her.
After the initial surprise, Addison found herself responding to the kiss. When she felt Meredith's tongue running along her lips, she opened her mouth and allowed Meredith's tongue to enter it. Their tongues danced together for a while, softly at first, but soon becoming more hungry, more demanding. When they parted, they were both panting.
"Oh my god..." said Meredith, obviously panicking, unlocked the door and ran away, leaving a very confused Addison alone in the supply closet.