I do not own Zelda or Greek Mythology. Zelda belongs to Nintendo.
Link was sitting on a tree trunk, polishing his sword in pride. He held his blade in the air, admiring his handiwork.
Suddenly, a loud scream pierced the air. "LINKYYYYYYYY!"
"Oh, god." Link muttered.
"Hey, Linky!" Ilia glomped him happily.
"Ilia, go away!" Link shouted, annoyed. His day was going just perfect until she arrived. Ilia always managed to ruin things.
"But I wanna spend the day with youuuuuuuuuuuu…" Ilia whined.
Link grit his teeth. He was tempted to use his sword on her, but that would ruin his new polish job. Just then, he got an idea that made him smile…
"Oh, Ilia?" Link asked. "Do you want to go to Mt. Olympus?"
"DO I?"
Minutes later, Link and Ilia were standing near the doorway of the main temple. "There's Aphrodite's room right there," Link lied as he stepped back. "Have fun!" He took off running.
"Oh, that silly Link." Ilia grinned. "I hope this Aphrodite helps me with getting my Linky into my arms!"
If Ilia learned how to read Ancient Greek, she would've noticed the sign above her said, "Ares' chamber".
Ilia skipped inside the room, ignoring the lines of swords, spears, and shields. "Oh, Aphrodite~" She shouted. "Come out, come out, wherever you are~"
Suddenly, a long spear pierced through her chest. "URGK!"
Ilia's arms and legs flopped around wildly as she entered into a dying spasm. "AAARGHAH!" She gagged out her last words as she died.
Ares strode towards the corpse and pulled out his spear. "Typical. Those training dummies Hephaestus made are fucking shoddy." He then headed back to the war room to fight more dummies.
TBC.