Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my imagination.

Better the Devil You Meet - Chapter 19

"So who are these letters from then Louisa?" Martin demanded to know as Louisa quietly opened and read the letter that had just arrived. "Someone in London obviously... it's not..." Martin could hardly bring himself to say the name.

"Who Martin, who do you think they're from?" Louisa couldn't help asking out of curiosity as she put the letter down on the table.

"You know, the architect, that tosser Danny Steele," Martin practically spat his name out.

"Danny! Why on earth would I hear from him?" Louisa asked in genuine surprise.

"Well I don't know, maybe you saw him in London when you lived there, I don't know what went on do I?" Martin knew his response was pretty irrational, but it was the old green eyed monster surfacing again. He hated secrets of any kind and always feared the worst.

"No, Martin, the letters aren't from Danny, I haven't spoken to him or heard from him since he left the village when I broke things off between us all that time ago. In fact Joan tells me that Muriel has been boasting to her about how he's married this amazing talented woman, a doctor he met at his church, and that they were going to work abroad in some remote area on a very worthwhile Christian charity project," Louisa told Martin, surprised at his long memory for Danny to have come to mind.

Thinking of Danny in some remote part of the world without adequate sanitation and lots of flies and mosquitoes momentarily cheered Martin up.

"Right... well...I see. So who are the letters from then?" Martin asked her.

Louisa realised that she could no longer put off the subject that had been playing on her mind. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she thought, she tried to convince herself, after all Martin was handling her with kid gloves at the moment, not wishing to upset her in any way.

So she took a big breath and told him,

"They're from my Dad, both letters are from my Dad. He's written again because I didn't answer the first one. We met up a few times while I was in London. He was out on parole you see, and although he's never exactly been a great parent, at the time I didn't have anyone else I could talk to."

Louisa held her breath waiting for Martin's reaction.

"Terry Glasson. Liar, thief, jailbird, con artist and low life. That's the one you're referring to I take it?" Martin's voice was icy cold in its condemnation.

"He's still my Dad, Martin. He's done wrong and he's paid the price. He's been to rehab, joined Gamblers Anonymous and is trying really hard to go straight. But it's difficult when you have a criminal record, no one will give you a job," Louisa tried to explain.

"Really, I can't imagine why that would be, can you Louisa? Oh for God's sake, he can't be trusted, you can't believe a word he says, you know that don't you?" Martin tried hard to keep his temper under control and not to shout at her as he struggled to understand why Louisa was even prepared to give him the time of day.

"Yes, I know he's done some terrible things. But when I was a little girl, he did his best to look after me when Mum left, he just didn't know any other way. He knows things about me that no one else does, he was there at really difficult times in my life, Martin, about which you know nothing. He's still my Dad, and he really does care about me in his own way." Louisa tried to justify her actions.

"I'm just trying to protect you Louisa, I don't want to see you hurt by him, especially now, when you're feeling so...so... emotional," Martin tried to explain rationally, working extremely hard to keep his temper under control. "He'll only let you down again if you trust him in any way, that's just how it is. Best to accept it and move on."

"I can't Martin, I don't have a heart of stone. Maybe you do with your Dad, but I don't," Louisa told him.

"But why? What hold does he have on you, he's lied and lied to you, let you down countless times, even put you in danger from that lunatic that he was going to rob the safe in the warehouse with." Martin still couldn't fathom it.

"I know, I know. I'm not saying that I would ever really trust him ever again. But..."Louisa struggled to explain.

"But what? What happened at these 'difficult times' that I don't know about? Tell me, then maybe I'll understand a bit better." Martin thought it highly unlikely though.

"Oh just teenage girl stuff, that's all. Look you're probably right, I'll just try my best not to think about him." Louisa wished she hadn't said anything now, this could open up a whole new can of worms, and she wasn't sure that was such a good idea with Martin in his current over- protective mode.

"What 'teenage girls stuff'? And just what did he say in his original letter to you, and how did he know where you were living now?" Martin asked, sensing she was holding back.

"You have to promise me not to get really angry Martin," Louisa told him.

"I can't promise anything if I don't know what you're going to say, can I?" Martin stated.

Louisa decided that she may as well just go for it, so she took a deep breath and explained,

"I sent Dad a picture of Luke from his first birthday actually. He is Luke's Grandad after all, it was just a spur of the moment thing. I knew where to send it because he has to stay at the same address, those are the terms of his parole. I told him that I didn't want anything to do with him, but that I would send him an occasional picture of Luke. I also filled him in about us being married, our house and so on, and although I didn't give him our address, he must have remembered where my friend Carol lived all those years ago and worked it out. "

Louisa confessed what had been on her mind for some time, she'd felt very guilty for not telling Martin, but realistically hadn't thought that she would ever hear back from her Dad.

"Oh did you. Well that was pretty stupid, wasn't it?" Martin was furious, as Louisa had known he would be.

"Well I'm sorry but it seemed a nice thing to do at the time. Anyway, he wrote back because he's worried about me," Louisa told Martin.

"Worried about you – why? You're married, settled, and secure now. Surely he should be pleased for you." Martin asked.

"Well that's the point really I suppose. He thinks I married you... for security, to give Luke a father...he doesn't believe I'm really happy," Louisa told him reluctantly.

"Let me read this letter." Martin wanted to know just what Terry Glasson had said.

"You won't like it Martin, he doesn't understand, he doesn't really know you..." Louisa said.

"Even so, I'd like to read it," Martin insisted.

Reluctantly Louisa got up and fetched the letter, and handed it to Martin.

My Darling Louisa

Thank you so much for the photo, it means the world to me. He looks like a smashing little boy, and I'm sure you're a wonderful Mum to him, what with you being a teacher too.

I know you won't believe me, and I don't blame you, but I really am trying to go straight these days. Ever since I saw you last year, I've felt so ashamed and guilty that I wasn't able to help you or look after you as a proper Dad should, it gave me a kick up the backside to get my act together, so that's what I've been trying to do ever since. It really broke my heart to see you so alone, being so brave when you were what we always used to call 'in trouble'. I know you said it was your choice, but what kind of a man must Martin be if you couldn't turn to him when you really needed help? That's why I suspect that he must have treated you badly. He seemed such a cold man when I met him, not at all the kind of person that my girl used to dream about marrying, not exactly Prince Charming, is he?

And now you say that you and he are married, happily you tell me. Well I'm sorry but I find that hard to believe. I'm worried that you settled for security with him for the little boys' sake, and that your spirit, your wonderful, feisty, independent spirit has been broken.

I've saved up enough money for a train ticket to come down and see you – maybe somewhere like Exeter or Truro? I know it would only embarrass you if I showed my face in the village again. But if we could meet up, if I can look into your eyes, I'll know the truth about whether or not you're happy, I can always tell, can't I? Remember those bitchy girls at school, I knew something was wrong, didn't I? Got you sorted out and eating properly again without any hoity toity Doctors involved.

If you won't agree to meet me, I'll know that I was right, that you're stuck in a loveless marriage. You deserve better than that my darling girl.

I know you don't want me to be in your life, I accept that, but maybe you could still send me the occasional picture of my grandson, I'd really like that if you would.

All my love

Dad x

Martin sat back in the chair once he'd read the letter. Louisa was right, he was angry about the letter, very angry. How dare that low life make assumptions about their marriage, what did he know? He also suspected that there was a very good chance that Terry was after some money, now that he knew Louisa was comfortably off. But what really got to him was knowing that part of what Terry Glasson said rang true. Louisa hadn't felt able to turn to him in her hour of need, and that haunted him 'Ididn'thaveanyoneelseIcouldtalkto' she'd just said. She hadn't been able to talk to him, the father of her baby, the man she'd been engaged to, had been about to marry.

He knew that a lot of people had made the same assumption about their marriage, that Louisa had married him just to give Luke some security, and he'd brushed that aside because he thought that anyone who knew Louisa knew that she simply wouldn't do that. But now her father, who did know her, was making the same assumption.

And what was this about getting her eating again, she'd said something about 'teenage girls problems' what did she mean?

"Tell me about this business with bitchy girls and not eating properly – were you anorexic?" Martin demanded to know. There'd been nothing in her medical notes about any of this, but then Terry had said in his letter that they'd managed without any help from doctors.

Louisa sighed, she'd known that Martin would pick up on this.

"The worst thing you can be as a teenage girl is 'different' Martin. You went to an all boy's school so you can have no idea how evil a group of teenage girls can be."

Martin thought about the pack of teenage girls that hung around the village and outside his surgery, constantly stirring up rumours and trouble with their bitchy comments. He had an inkling of what it could be like.

"Most of the girls I was at senior school with had sun kissed blonde hair, golden tanned skin and mile long legs with cute little backsides. And there was me, with pale skin that never tans, dark hair and a very curvy bum."

Louisa was describing the very things that Martin found most attractive about her.

"Anyhow, I used to come home and beg Dad to buy me some fake tan, and hair dye to make me more like them, but he always refused, telling me that I had beautiful skin and hair, just like my Mum's, and that he loved those things about her and about me. I tried to diet, I wasn't very sensible about it and went a bit extreme I suppose, but I wasn't anorexic. Then I fainted at school and he got called in, that's how it all came to a head really. The school wanted me to see a doctor, but Dad said we didn't need one, he would sort it. He sat me down and told me that one day, I would find someone who would love all the things about me that I hated, so I shouldn't try to change myself to be like all the other girls, I should be proud to be who I am. There was a lot more to it than that, but basically I realised that he was right – eventually."

Martin had to give some credit to Terry, what he'd said to Louisa was pretty good actually. And he could understand in a way why he was concerned for Louisa, to an outsider he supposed that he could appear as cold hearted, unapproachable and uncaring – that's certainly how most of the village saw him.

"So Martin, maybe it's best if I do meet up with Dad, just to put his mind at rest, and then he'll leave us alone. And if I tell him that we've chosen to have another baby together, I'm sure that will help to convince him that I am very, very happy with you. I'm trying to be honest with you now Martin, and not keep any secrets. I could have gone to meet him without telling you but I didn't want to do that." Louisa looked Martin in the eye as she told him this.

Martin realised that he could hardly forbid Louisa from meeting up with her father, much as he'd like to. She was quite right, she could have just gone to meet up without even telling him, she'd obviously been very reluctant to tell him about all this, scared of his reaction. It must be better to prove to Louisa that she could confide in him, tell him anything, that he would always be supportive of her so that she would be willing to include him and not shut him out. Also, by accepting that she was going to meet up with Terry and supporting her, he could possibly have some control over just what stunt Terry might be trying to pull.

"Alright, if you're really convinced that you have to see him, I'll agree as long as I get to take you, I don't want you going on your own and getting upset, not in your condition. Maybe you can write back and put him off for a while, until things are more...settled with your pregnancy," Martin very reluctantly agreed. "It will have to be made crystal clear to him that I don't ever want him coming to our house, or being involved in any way with Luke whatsoever, or thinking that all is forgiven and he can start visiting if the fancy takes him. And there is absolutely noway that you're going to give him any money or help like that Louisa, because he'll more than likely try to take advantage of you, you have to be prepared for that"

'Aleopardcan'tchangeitsspots'Martin thought to himself.

"Right...OK... Martin, well how about I write back and explain that I can't meet up just now, but maybe at half term or something, he knows how busy I am during term time. But there really isn't any need for you to take me, I'll be fine on my own, it'll be easier if it's just me and him." Louisa couldn't imagine Martin having anything positive to bring to any meeting with her father, and could just imagine him glowering at him barely able to contain his contempt.

"No Louisa, I'm adamant, I want to show my support by taking you. I suppose that maybe I could leave you to chat to him by yourself for a few minutes while I'm nearby." Martin thought it would be a very few minutes indeed as far as he was concerned.

"Well we can sort out the details nearer the time, I'll just write him a short note back, and then we'll see what happens." Louisa thought she had done well to get Martin to agree to any kind of meeting, so decided to leave it at that. She could work on him gradually to accept that she was going to go on her own.

"And don't think you can get round me, I'm not changing my mind about wanting to take you Louisa." Martin had learnt enough about feminine persuasion to foresee what Louisa might be thinking. "I shall be coming with you, like it or not, I am going to be involved."

He knew by the look on her face that he'd guessed what she'd been thinking, and was quite pleased that he finally seemed to be getting the hang of this power play between the sexes.