AN: Here's a short, somewhat sappy, somewhat angsty one for you guys to go along with this morning's post. Tomorrow's chapter will be much longer and will be all sorts of trouble for our boys…Happy reading!
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Chapter Seven
- December 24th -
Pansy opened the door and flashed a brilliant smile at her best friend. Her eyes darted over to Cedric and the smile started to falter, but she schooled her features, pretending to be pleased to see him as well.
Draco followed her down the hall, his heart in his throat and his palms sweating profusely. He discretely wiped them on his dark grey pants and plastered a smile onto his face as they entered the sitting room.
"Breathe," Cedric said softly as he placed a hand on the small of his back. "You'll be fine, love…I know it."
Draco gave him a shaky smile, lifted his head and went to say hello to his friends.
Blaise hugged him tightly in relief when he saw him. He shot angry looks at Cedric, who paled and smartly backed away. Draco explained the situation, calming his friend's fierce protective urges before he took Cedric's hand and led him towards Hermione and Ron.
Draco could tell based on the friendly greetings that they gave that Pansy and Blaise were the only one's to know of Cedric's indiscretions. And he was immensely thankful for that fact.
Cedric and Ron started talking about a game they had both watched on television. Hermione and Draco quickly lost interest in the conversation and wandered away, arm in arm.
She rolled her eyes as she squeezed Draco's hand. "Let's get a drink." She led him to the kitchen.
Draco stopped in the kitchen door, frozen at the sight of wide emerald eyes staring back at him. Of course, he had known Harry was going to be there, and he had mentally prepared as best he could, but he wasn't expecting to see him so soon.
Harry was standing just five feet from him, holding a glass of wine. He gave Draco a quick once over, then looked into his eyes with a soft smile. "Hello, Draco," he said quietly.
It had been three very long months since Draco had looked into those eyes. Three months since he'd heard that voice say his name. His head spun with the intensity of his emotions and he found himself gripping tightly to the back of a chair as his stomach churned. He took a few deep breathes, trying to clear his head and calm his racing heart.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked in alarm. He set his glass down and hurried to Draco's side.
Draco nodded and slowly lowered himself into a chair. "Just a bit light headed," he said softly. Why am I so dizzy? He rubbed his now pounding temples and rested his head in his hands.
"You look pale," Hermione said as she brought him a glass of water.
Despite the utter feeling of sickliness that had hit him, he managed to wait until she turned away to roll his eyes. I am so sick of hearing that.
Harry chuckled softly at Draco's expression.
Draco looked up at him and couldn't help but smile back. He glanced at Hermione. "I haven't eaten much today." Or yesterday. Or the day before that.
Harry went to the counter and grabbed a plate. He filled it with a few squares of cheese, some grapes and a couple crackers. "Here, eat this. You'll feel better."
Draco reached for the plate and noticeably shivered when his fingers brushed Harry's. He quickly jerked his hand away, almost toppling the plate in the process.
"Do you want me to get Cedric?" Hermione asked.
Draco stared up at Harry for a minute before clearing his throat and tearing his eyes away. He nodded at Hermione and began picking at the cheese cubes.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Harry asked as he sat down in the chair beside him. He reached out and pushed a few stray strands of hair from Draco's eyes.
Draco nodded and quickly shoved more cheese into his mouth.
"You don't look the same." Harry's eyes were filled with concern. "You've changed. What happened?"
"Nothing," Draco insisted. "I'm the same as always."
"You're not. You look so…sad."
Draco didn't answer. He popped a couple of grapes into his mouth and ignored Harry, concentrating instead on chewing.
Harry's face fell. "He's not making you happy, is he?"
Draco glared at him. "You don't know him, Potter, so fuck off."
Green eyes grew wide for a moment. "What did he do to make you so bitter?"
"Maybe it wasn't him." Draco snapped. "Maybe it was you."
Harry stared at him in shock.
"Dray?" Cedric said as he hurried through the door. He stopped and eyed Harry cautiously before looking back at his boyfriend. "Are you alright, love?" He crouched in front of him and placed his hands on his knees.
Draco nodded. "Just got dizzy and a little nauseous for a moment there. I haven't really eaten much in the last few days…so…" He blushed and shifted in his seat, surprisingly uncomfortable with all the attention.
Cedric looked down, unable to keep the look of shame from his face, but he clutched Draco's hand tightly in his.
Draco glanced at Harry and saw the look on the brunette's face as he stared at Cedric. Shit. He knows something is not right. He can't see our cracks or he'll break his way through. I can't let him break through. He squeezed Cedric's hand and stood. "Let's get back to the party." He let go of Cedric and hurried into the hallway, letting the door swing shut behind him in his desperate urge to just get away.
"Stay away from him," Cedric hissed from the other room.
Draco froze for a moment and anger flashed through him at the sound of Cedric's words and tone. He moved closer to the door and leaned against the wall to listen.
Harry laughed softly. "Give it a rest, Cedric. Green's not a good color on you."
"Well maybe if I didn't have to worry about you following him to the bathroom, I could just ignore your presence and enjoy my evening."
Draco felt his cheeks flush as he glanced around him, hoping no one else had heard that.
Harry laughed again. "What the fuck is your problem? I know you weren't really dating back then, so it's not like he cheated on you. He would never do that."
Draco held his breath. There was no way that Harry knew. Pansy could have told Hermione, but she would never…Ron! I'll fucking kill him.
"How do you know about that?" Cedric's voice was almost inaudible.
There was a long, uncomfortable silence. "You just told me," Harry finally said, no sense of satisfaction in his voice. If anything, he sounded angry. "How could you do that to him?"
Draco tried really hard not to be pleased with Harry's defense of him, but he couldn't deny that it was a good feeling.
"The same way you did when you dragged my boyfriend into a bathroom to fuck." Draco had never heard such anger in Cedric's voice. "So don't you dare give me your holier than thou bullshit, Potter. I cheated and it's eating me alive with guilt. But you never even thought to feel guilty about what you did to Oliver, did you?"
"There's a difference," Harry said sharply.
"How? You had a boyfriend and you fucked mine while he and I were both there! How is that so different?"
Harry was silent, but when he finally spoke, the intense anger in his voice sent shivers down Draco's spine. "First…he wasn't your boyfriend then. I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I didn't for one second believe that you had been with him for two months. It was obvious that you didn't know him at all. Still don't if you ask me."
"I didn't ask-"
"I wasn't finished," Harry snapped. "Second…don't you ever…ever compare Draco and Oliver. They are not even in the same league."
Cedric snorted. "You think Oliver is that much better than Draco? You're fucking delusional."
"Did I say that?" Harry said softly.
Draco leaned heavily against the wall. His heart was racing again, thumping painfully against his ribs.
"You can't do what you did to someone like him," Harry said, his voice softer. "He deserves better than that."
"You don't understand," Cedric said, his voice also softer. "And it's none of your business anyway, so just keep out of it."
"It is my business because he's my friend." Harry's voice was low and threatening now. "So don't you dare think to tell me to stay away from him. You don't have the right. The only person who has that right is Draco."
Draco was standing frozen in awe when the kitchen door swung open and Harry stormed through. The brunette paused and looked at him, surprised to see him standing there.
Draco gave him a small smile and a nod before pushing off the wall and heading back into the kitchen.
Cedric was leaning back against the counter with his arms folded tightly over his chest. His head was down and his eyes closed as he breathed deeply.
Draco walked over to him and slid his arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly.
"I hate him," Cedric said softly.
Draco laughed and rubbed his boyfriends back. "I can tell." He stepped back and took Cedric's face in his hands. "But you know he's right."
Cedric looked up. "You think you're in a different league as well, huh?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Draco smiled at him. "I am something special, you know." He winked and leaned in to kiss the taller man.
Cedric linked his hands behind Draco's back so he couldn't escape. He kissed him harder.
Draco let himself forget everything and just enjoy the kiss, but it wasn't long before his thoughts got the best of him and he had to pull away. He ran his hands over Cedric's broad chest then brought a hand up to stroke his sandy hair. "You can't tell me who I can be friends with," he said softly.
Cedric made a face. "I know, he just makes me so angry." He rested his forehead against Draco's. "I love you, you know."
Draco smiled and kissed him quickly. "I love you too. But make sure you remember…you can trust me. I promise that Harry is nothing to be jealous of. I won't promise you that there are no feelings there, but you can be assured that they won't affect the feelings that I have for you. Harry and I had our chance and it didn't work out." He kissed him again. "You are who I want," he whispered as his lips brushed lightly against his.
Cedric sighed and his entire body relaxed into Draco's embrace. "I trust you," he whispered then pulled him closer for a long, tight hug.
They separated when someone cleared their throat behind them.
Pansy smiled at the two blushing boys. "Let's eat," she said as she turned back towards the dinning room.
Draco followed Pansy and Cedric into the large room where everyone else was already finding spots at a long, elegantly decorated table.
Blaise was sitting at the far end with an open seat next to him for Pansy. Across from him was Ron, then Hermione. Neville and Luna sat at the other end, leaving one empty eat between them and Hermione and three empty seats on Pansy and Blaise's side of the table.
Harry sat down next to Pansy's seat and set his hand on the back of the chair next to him. He caught Draco's eye and motioned to the chair.
Draco hated the disappointed look in Harry's eyes when he ignored his silent request and sat down at the end of the table. Cedric sat down between them and turned his chair slightly towards his boyfriend and away from Harry.
"Draco…it's so good to see you," Luna said with a dreamy smile as dishes were passed around.
Draco was rather quiet during the meal, choosing instead to just listen to the conversations around him. He noticed with a heavy heart that Harry hardly spoke a word to anyone.
After dinner, Draco leaned into Cedric, who was talking to Luna. "I'm going to step outside for a smoke."
Cedric nodded and continued talking to Luna.
It was almost silent outside. Draco smoked slowly and lit a second cigarette when the first was spent. His eyes roamed the frozen trees that lined the property, hiding them all away from the rest of the world.
"Beautiful night."
He turned to watch Harry walking down the steps to join him. He had a slight smile on his face as he hummed softly under his breath.
Draco couldn't help smiling. "'Carol of the Bells'?" he said with a raised eyebrow. He let his eyes drift back to the snow covered yard. "That brings back memories."
"Seems like a long time ago, doesn't it?" Harry reached out and plucked Draco's cigarette from between his lips and took a long hit. He sighed as he exhaled.
Draco took it back and took another hit. "You seemed so young then."
"So did you," Harry said softly. "Give me a smoke."
Draco dug out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it before handing it over. "Don't you ever have your own?"
Harry shrugged. "Oliver didn't like me to smoke. He said I tasted like an ashtray."
Draco laughed softly. "Where is he?"
Harry shrugged. "I really don't know. We broke up a few weeks ago."
That's why he seems so healthy. Draco couldn't make himself say he was sorry, because he wasn't.
"It was time," Harry said softly.
They stood in silence even after they were both done smoking.
Draco sighed and turned to head back inside.
"Was it really my fault?" Harry's quiet voice broke the peaceful silence.
"Was what your fault?" Draco turned back to him.
Harry took a step towards him. "Did I really make you so bitter?"
Draco stared into his eyes. "Are we ready to be completely honest with each other?"
Harry nodded, though he looked wary.
"I really felt something for you, Harry," Draco began as he moved closer. "Something that I had never felt before and had not even known was possible. You threw my entire world out of alignment and then when I needed you most, you were nowhere to be found." He stopped moving when they were only inches apart. "You broke my heart again and again and again and I let it keep happening because being away from you was the worse of the two options."
"Draco, I-"
"No…let me finish before I lose my nerve."
Harry swallowed heavily and nodded.
"You used me, Harry." He could feel the first signs of tears pricking at his eyes and had to hold back a sigh of frustration over his recent emotional instability. "I tried to figure out what I needed to do in order to have you, what I could say to make you stay, but it never was enough. I could never say the right thing or do the right thing. Every second that I spent with you was fucking torture because I was constantly trying to figure out what I could do so you wouldn't leave again."
"You left the last time," Harry reminded him.
"Yes. I left because you said it would be a bad thing to love me."
They stared at each other in silence, neither moving. Just breathing.
"I didn't say that," Harry whispered.
Draco nodded. "Yes, you did."
Harry shoved his hands in his pockets and stared down at the ground, digging the toe of his shoe into the snow. "I didn't mean it."
"But you said it."
"And that was enough to shatter your heart," he quoted softly to himself. "Your already fragile heart." His confusion seemed to fade as he thought about it and Draco saw the moment that the brunette finally realized his reason for leaving that night.
Harry looked up at him, his green eyes wide and filled with tears. "Do you love me, Draco?"
Draco just gazed at him, his face growing softer as he watched tears spill from his ex-lovers eyes. "Would it make a difference either way?" he asked. He reached out and cupped Harry's face with both hands and wiped his tears away.
Harry closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into Draco's cold, pale hand. "It might," he whispered.
Draco stepped closer to him, sliding an arm around his waist to rest on his back, his other hand still cupping Harry's tear streaked face. "I'm sorry, Harry…that's not good enough."
Harry opened his eyes and nodded. He rested his hands on the blonde's shoulders. "I'm really sorry," he said honestly. "About everything."
"I know you are." Draco pulled him against him and rested his cheek against Harry's soft hair. He held him tightly, a part of him not wanting to ever let him go.
Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's waist and pressed his face tighter into his chest.
Draco was proud of himself for finally saying everything that he had wanted to say to this man. He held Harry tight and breathed in his scent, but he knew he could walk away if he wanted to. But do I want to…that's the difficult question.
The two boys held each other for a long time until the peaceful silence was interrupted by a loud squeal, followed by another loud squeal and then shouts and bursts of laughter.
Harry raised his head slowly from Draco's chest to look at the house.
Draco's eyes followed. "What do you suppose that's all about?"
Harry shrugged and reluctantly let go.
Draco immediately missed the warmth of the other man's body and he wrapped his arms around himself to try to ward off the cold.
"Let's go see." Harry hurried up the walkway with Draco following closely behind.
They stood in the doorway and watched as Pansy jumped up and down, squealing and clapping her hands. Tears streaked down her face, but the smile she wore was blinding.
Hermione was currently engulfed in a hug by Blaise, who had lifted her off the ground and was holding her tightly while mumbling something in her ear that made her giggle.
Blaise put her down and turned to Ron. He shook his hand, then pulled him into a hug, smacking him roughly on the back in glee.
Pansy bounced over to Hermione and wrapped her arms around her neck. She kissed the smaller girls cheek again and again as Hermione squirmed and tried to escape.
Luna and Neville were standing to the side laughing softly as they watched their friends.
Draco and Harry exchanged an amused look. "Guess we missed all the fun," Draco said.
Cedric came from the kitchen with a tray of glasses and a fresh bottle of champagne.
"What's going on?" Draco finally asked.
"Draco!" Pansy shouted then flung herself into his arms. "Hermione just told us that she's going to have our baby!" She squealed again and hugged him tightly around the neck.
"You're pregnant?" Harry cried, looking confused and a bit hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Hermione laughed. "No, I'm not pregnant yet. I'm going to be Pansy's surrogate."
Harry's mouth hung open in surprise, but it slowly grew into a smile. He hugged his friend and kissed her head. "You're an amazing woman, Hermione Granger."
She blushed and swatted at him. "It's nothing. Any of you would have done the same if you could."
Ron put an arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.
"Let's celebrate!" Blaise helped Cedric pass out flutes of champagne, then they toasted and celebrated well into the night.
"Maybe this is why I spoke to you that day." Draco sat down next to Harry and they watched as Pansy and Hermione sat huddled together in the corner, both of their eyes shining and their mouths moving a mile a minute.
"Maybe," Harry agreed with a sad smile. He looked over at the blonde sitting next to him. "When am I going to see you again?"
Draco looked at him in shock. "You've never asked that before." He shifted awkwardly in his seat and scratched at his head.
Harry tucked both hands under his legs to keep himself from fidgeting. He stared at the women in the corner. Pansy was crying again. "I wish we could be friends," he said softly. "Like them. Talking and laughing."
"I'm not carrying your child for you, Harry," Draco said with a smile, trying to relieve the tension between them.
Harry laughed and gently elbowed him. "You know what I mean. Spending time together… going to the movies or dinner. I have a phone now, so we can talk whenever we want to." He finally looked at Draco with hopeful eyes. "What do you think? Friends?"
Draco looked over at Cedric who was standing in the corner talking to Ron. Cedric looked at him, then at Harry, then back at Draco. He gave the blonde a hesitant smile.
Draco winked at him, then finally looked at Harry. "I'm in love with him," he said softly.
Harry's breath caught, then his cheeks turned a bright pink and he looked away. "Oh," he said softly.
"He's a good man," Draco said as he touched Harry's arm. "But he's insanely jealous of you."
"Jealous enough to cheat on you?" Harry mumbled, more to himself than to Draco.
"That's not fair," Draco said softly. "We've had our problems, but he's always been there for me. He's good to me. And he's good for me."
"And I'm not," Harry stated matter-of-factly.
Draco didn't respond to that. "So, I just think it's best that you and I keep it casual. We'll see each other a few times a year. Holidays and birthdays…the occasional wedding."
"That's not enough for me." Harry was staring into the fireplace, a look of pure devastation on his face.
Draco put his arm around him and kissed the side of his head. "I'm sorry, but it's going to have to be." He squeezed the smaller man's shoulder then stood and made his way to his boyfriend.
"What was that at all about?" Cedric asked with a raised eyebrow.
Draco smiled and tilted his head up. "I was saying goodbye to him," he said before giving Cedric a soft kiss.
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TBC…
AN: Please review! Thank you for reading!