AN: Hello again everyone! Three in one day! That's what your reviews prompt me to do. Hope you all appreciate it.
A quick note about the point of view in this story in response to a review that I received. The entire story is already written and it will all be from Draco's point of view. I know it can be frustrating not knowing what Harry is thinking, but I personally think that's part of the fun. Hope you all enjoy it anyway!
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Chapter Eight
- April 22nd -
Draco loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt. He had already lost the jacket due to the surprising warmth of the reception hall. No one had expected such a warm sunny day in late April, but if anyone deserved such pleasant weather on their wedding day, he was sure it was Ron and Hermione.
He smiled as he watched Cedric twirling the bride and swinging her around. Her smile was radiant and her cheeks were flushed, her laughter ringing out through the large ball room.
"Reckon she's pleased not to have me stepping on her toes anymore," Ron said as he dropped into the seat next to Draco.
Draco laughed and patted his friend's arm. "You are possibly one of the most uncoordinated dancers I've ever seen. It really was quite brilliant."
Ron glared at him playfully. "I don't see you doing any dancing, Malfoy."
The blond shrugged. "I only dance at gay bars. I've been told I'm obscene and we wouldn't want to scare the children." He drank down his seventh glass of champagne.
His eyes scanned the crowd, searching for a head of messy black hair and intense emerald green eyes. Damn it, Malfoy! Stop looking for him.
"I don't know where he is," Ron said softly.
Draco looked at him. "I…what?"
Ron flagged down a passing waiter and took two glasses of champagne from the tray he was carrying. "You've been looking for him for two hours now. I was just saving you the trouble of asking where he went."
Draco snorted and shook his head, the alcohol making his head spin a bit. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Weasley." He couldn't help the blush that heated his face. I'll just blame it on the alcohol if anyone asks. He set his eyes back on Cedric, who was now dancing with Ron's little sister Ginny.
"He vanished after we cut the cake. Didn't say a word to me or Hermione." He handed one of the glasses to Draco.
"I don't really care what he does," Draco said softly. He swallowed down the entire glass in two gulps. I really need to slow down.
"I saw him eyeing one of the waiters earlier. Maybe he got lucky."
Draco frowned at the thought. He had done so well over the prior four months. He hadn't seen Harry since Christmas Eve and he told himself daily that he was pleased with that. It had taken some time for his relationship with Cedric to even out and become strong again, but by January they had started sleeping in the same bed again and by February, they had started having sex again. He had everything that he wanted…or so he told himself. He didn't allow himself to dwell on it, because when he did, he became painfully aware that something was missing from his life. Something that he was beginning to think was very necessary.
Draco stood. "I'm going to go outside and have a cigarette. Tell Cedric if he asks."
He walked out of the reception hall and into the dim, quiet corridors, but he didn't head straight outside. He wandered the halls with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.
There were a pair of French doors at the end of a long hallway and he made his way towards them and out onto a balcony. He closed his eyes as the breeze brushed his hair across his forehead and neck and cooled his alcohol heated skin.
"Beautiful night," a quiet voice said behind him.
His heart leapt into his throat and he turned, expecting to see Harry.
Blaise was leaning against the door frame with his arms folded over his chest.
Draco sighed and turned around, leaning on the railing and looking down the two stories to the ground.
"Are you alright?" Blaise rested a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"Too much to drink," Draco said with a soft laugh.
"Dray…don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong."
"I love Cedric," he said softly as he tilted his head back and looked up at the star filled night sky. "I really, really love him."
"I know you do." Blaise turned around and leaned back against the railing. "But…"
Draco took a deep breath. "But…I have this unhealthy obsession that's keeping me from being truly happy."
"An obsession named Harry Potter."
Draco nodded. "Even you saying his name…it feels like someone grabbed my heart and squeezed."
Blaise laughed.
Draco sighed heavily and walked over to a bench in the corner where he sat and leaned his head against the cool stone of the wall. "I worry about him all the time. I have dreams about him. There are times when I have to make myself be silent during sex because I know if anything comes out of my mouth, it will be his name, and I never want to go through that again." He looked down at his hands. "Don't get me wrong, it's not all the time, but not a day goes by where I don't at least think about him."
"It'll fade with time," Blaise promised as he sat down beside him.
"No. I really don't think it will." Draco rested his head on Blaise's shoulder and closed his eyes. "When I saw him walking down the aisle today, I almost passed out."
Blaise laughed again and took his friends hand.
"He looked so beautiful. I don't even remember the vows or anything. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him."
"Hope you paid better attention at my wedding."
Draco laughed. "All I could think at your wedding was how good it felt when you were inside of me."
Blaise blushed heavily and squeezed Draco's hand.
"You're the only person I ever let do that to me, you know." He kissed his friend on the cheek then settled his head back on his shoulder. "You're the only one I trusted enough."
"Not even Cedric?" Blaise asked in surprise.
"No…though he has hinted that he'd like to."
"Would you with Harry?"
Draco was silent for so long that Blaise was beginning to wonder if he had fallen asleep. "Do you think Harry loves me?" His voice was so soft and quiet that Blaise almost didn't hear him.
"I really don't know. Do you think he does?"
"Sometimes I think he might. Then other times I'm fairly sure that he doesn't." He cuddled closer to his friend. "He probably hates me anyway. I chose Cedric over him and all but told him he was no good for me. When I close my eyes at night, I just see his sad eyes staring back at me and see the hurt I caused in them."
"He hurt you too."
"I know." Draco sat up and put a hand on the wall to steady himself when his head began to swim. "I haven't drank this much in a really long time." He slowly climbed to his feet and went back to the railing where he lit a cigarette. "I forgot that I was an emotional drunk." He laughed softly, but there was no humor in it.
"I should get back to Pansy. Are you going to be alright out here by yourself?"
Draco nodded and shooed him.
Blaise kissed his friends head then went off to find his wife.
Draco looked over at the bench and spotted the half full bottle of champagne that his best friend had left behind. He flicked his cigarette over the railing and grabbed the bottle. He took a long drink, then wandered away, clutching the bottle tightly to his chest.
A half hour later, he had almost finished off the entire bottle and all he could think about was a place to lie down. "Hark to the bells," he sang softly to himself. He stumbled, but caught himself at the last minute. "Hark to the bells…sweet silver bells…" He hummed a couple more lines then stopped at the staircase that led up to the third floor of the large banquet center.
He sniffed the air, hesitant to believe that he smelled what he thought he smelled. Is that pot? He hadn't smoked in years, but he had a sudden craving. So he set his now empty bottle on the bottom step and slowly started up the stairs.
When he reached the top, he tripped on the last stair and fell onto his hands and knees. He giggled as he got to his feet, not even noticing the rug burns on his palms. "Throw cares away…" he continued singing as if nothing had happened. "Ding dong, ding dong." He giggled again to himself, then let out a soft snort which made him laugh even harder. "Ding dong," he said softly, laughing again.
He heard a muffled snicker behind him and spun around quickly, looking for the culprit. "Who's that?" he mumbled. "Are you smoking pot?" He slowly walked forward, his head spinning. He swayed a bit before stumbling into the dark room he had been headed for.
Strong arms grabbed him from behind and righted him before he managed to fall flat on his face. The smell of marijuana was much more distinct in this room and he inhaled deeply, filling his senses with the scent.
The second thing he noticed was the fact that he could not see a thing. There were no lights on in this room and the hallway was too dim to make a difference. But he didn't care. All he cared about were the strong arms that held him tightly and the warm breath that was blowing lightly in his ear. He wasn't sure why, but he felt himself tearing up. He bit his lip and let out a quiet moan as he turned himself around and wrapped his arms around the neck of the man that held him. "Touch me," he whispered before pressing his mouth to theirs in a clumsy, awkward kiss.
There was a groan as he was pushed up against the wall. Hands were frantically tearing at his shirt and pants, desperately seeking the skin hidden beneath. Cedric had never touched him like this. Cedric had never needed him so badly. This isn't Cedric. He suddenly realized that he didn't care.
Draco gasped as a hand slid into his pants, tightly grabbing his rapidly growing erection and stroking him fast and hard. "Oh, fuck," he moaned as he thrust his hips against the strong hand that gripped him.
The other man kissed him again and Draco sucked at his lips and tongue, savoring the taste of whiskey and smoke. Not like Cedric. Cedric always tastes so clean. Draco gripped the man's thick hair and kissed him harder, biting down on his bottom lip. He felt a tear rolling down his cheek, but tried to ignore it since he had no idea why he was crying.
He tilted his head back and whimpered quietly as a mouth latched on to his nipple, sucking and nibbling gently. The hand that stroked him slowed.
"No…fuck, no, please don't…don't stop." He tried to reach down between them to help speed things along, but his hand was pushed aside. "Please," he begged, then cried out as teeth bit down on his overly sensitive nipple, sending ripples of pleasurable pain through his body.
He reached for the other mans shoulders to pull him back up into a kiss, but the man dropped to his knees and pulled Draco's pants down around his ankles. Rough hands roamed up his thighs and between his legs, cupping him and stroking him.
Draco gasped and bucked when he felt a warm tongue slide up his length. Then a hot, wet mouth was swallowing him whole and he was in heaven.
His whole body trembled with desire and his legs were growing weak beneath him. He gripped at the kneeling man's hair, desperate for something to hold him up. Tears still streamed down his face and onto his hands, some even landing in the others hair.
All too soon, he felt the tingling in the soles of his feet and an almost painful tightening in his groin. His body tensed as he began to pant heavily. So close…so…fucking…close. "Harry," he whispered. "Harry, please…"
The frantic sucking and licking stopped for only a moment before the kneeling man returned to his task with renewed vigor, humming softly and cupping Draco's balls. He took Draco all the way in and sucked hard as he slowly pulled back.
"I'm coming," he gasped. "Fuck…Harry…" His breath hitched then he cried out as he tightly gripped the other man's hair and thrust hard, emptying himself into his mouth while his body shook violently. He groaned as the man's tongue gently caressed him, trying to draw out his orgasm for as long as possible. "Jesus." When the man finally pulled away, Draco slumped and let himself slide down the wall into a sitting position, his legs sprawled carelessly in front of him. He breathed deeply as he tried to remember the last time his heart had raced like that. Hermione's birthday dinner. The last time with Harry.
He could hear the quiet sounds of shifting beside him and reached out a hand blindly to find the faceless man who had given him so much pleasure. He searched for a moment before his fingers came in contact with a solid chest. He let his hand slowly move up until he was touching the other man's face. He ran his thumb over a full bottom lip then he leaned forward and kissed him, tasting himself on the others tongue.
"Why are you crying?" A trembling hand stroked Draco's face.
Draco began to sob openly when he finally heard the voice he had wanted to hear. He moved forward on his knees until he was pressed flush against Harry. "I missed you," he whispered as he hugged him around the neck and buried his face in his shoulder. "My God, Harry…I missed you so much." He squeezed him tighter. "Harry, hold me."
Harry stroked his back and hair as he whispered nonsense into the blond's silky hair. Draco wasn't sure what he was saying, but the soft sound of Harry's voice soothed him and his tears finally stopped.
Draco lifted his head and tried to make out Harry's face in the darkness. He ran his fingertips over the brunet's lips and nose and cheek bones, marveling at the softness of his skin and the smooth contours of his face. "I need to see you," he whispered.
Harry kissed him gently, then pulled away just enough to reach a table lamp. He flipped the switch and dim light shone on him, revealing the concerned look on his face.
Draco's eyes filled with fresh tears as he stared up at the man he hadn't spoken to in almost four months. "Harry," he said softly, his voice filled with relief.
Harry took the blond's hands and pulled him to his feet. He helped him with his pants then stood there with one hand on Draco's waist and the other on his cheek. "Are you alright?"
Draco gave him a dazzling, watery eyed grin then nodded slowly. "I was looking for you," he told him, unable to look away from those deep green eyes. "Everywhere…you vanished."
Harry took Draco's hands and the blond suddenly became aware of the carpet burns he had received when he fell on the stairs. He looked down at his palms. "I fell," he said softly, then hiccupped.
Harry smiled and nodded. "I saw." He brought both of Draco's hands to his face and kissed each palm softly.
"I'm…" He hiccupped again and laughed softly. "I think I'm pretty drunk." He took a deep breath to try to stop the hiccupping.
Harry nodded and his face fell as he backed away. "I know. And that just makes what I did even more wrong." He sank down onto the couch and sighed heavily.
Draco swayed where he stood, partially due to the large quantities of alcohol he had consumed, but also due to the trembling that still wracked his entire body. He stumbled over to the couch and sat down heavily beside Harry.
Harry was rubbing his face with both hands and his whole body was tense. "I'm so sorry, Draco. I saw you coming and then suddenly, you were in my arms…I couldn't help myself."
Draco put a hand on his knee. "I don't regret it," he insisted. He moved closer and sighed happily when he felt Harry's arm drape across his shoulder and pull him closer.
"What about Cedric?" Harry asked.
The room fell silent.
Draco knew that he should feel bad. He had just done the same thing Cedric had, but this was worse in some ways. There had been no feelings involved when Cedric had been unfaithful, but there were definitely feelings involved now. But he couldn't force himself to feel guilty, even though he had a sneaking suspicion that it would all catch up with him in the morning.
Harry kissed his cheek and stroked his hair. "We should forget this ever happened."
"No!" Draco sat up and looked at him. "Harry…no." He looked away and blushed. "I don't want to forget. This is the first time I've felt peaceful in months."
Harry looked at him in confusion. "What is going on with you? Hermione and Pansy both told me that you and Cedric were doing better than ever. If that's the truth, why are you so upset? And why are you here with me instead of downstairs with him?"
Draco could tell Harry was angry, though he wasn't really sure why.
"You love him, don't you?"
Draco nodded, but he still wouldn't look at him.
"He loves you? And he treats you well?"
Draco nodded again and wrung his hands tightly together in his lap. What is he doing?
"He makes you laugh and loves your friends and wants to spend the rest of his life with you?"
Draco started to cry again as he nodded.
Harry took both of Draco's hands in his. "Then let him take care of you. Let him love you." He wiped away Draco's tears and tried to smile.
"I love him," Draco said softly, finally bringing his grey eyes up to Harry's green. "I love him, but my God, Harry…I need you." He pulled the brunet closer and brushed his lips against his.
After a slight moment of hesitation, Harry took Draco's face in his hands and increased the pressure of their kiss.
Immediately, Draco's hands moved to the buttons of Harry's shirt. His coordination was a bit off, but he managed to get them undone eventually. He slid his hands over Harry's chest, stopping to stroke hard nipples with his thumbs.
Harry moaned softly and let his head fall back. "I've missed this…I missed your hands."
Draco smiled and moved his mouth to Harry's neck where he licked a slow line from his shoulder to his ear. "What else did you miss?"
"Your mouth," he breathed as he turned his head to capture Draco's lips in his.
"What else?" Draco asked, his lips still brushing against Harry's.
Harry pushed damp blond locks from Draco's forehead. "I missed your voice." He kissed him again and slowly pushed him down onto his back. Harry straddled his waist and propped himself up with a hand on either side of Draco's head. "I've never come as hard as I do when you're moaning on top of me."
Draco smirked and reached up to pull the smaller man down on top of him, loving the feel of his body pressing down against him. "I want to be inside you," he whispered. He slid his hands to Harry's belt buckle and slowly started to remove the rest of his clothing.
"We haven't don't this in…" Harry stopped to think.
"Seven months," Draco finished for him, suddenly feeling a bit more sober at the thought of what was about to happen. He stared at Harry with lust filled eyes.
Harry stilled and looked at him. He stroked a pale cheek and white blond hair as he smiled sadly at him. "Seven months," he said in disbelief.
"I won't be able to go another seven," Draco told him. "Tell me now if this is the last time, 'cause if it is, I can't do it."
Harry traced Draco's lips, then kissed him softly and stood up. He went over to the door, which still stood open a crack, and shut and locked it.
Draco, for the first time, looked around the small, windowless room. There were a couple of couches, a coffee table, a couple lamps and a small bar.
"Sitting room," Harry explained as he walked back to the couch. "I needed somewhere to hide."
"From what?"
Harry stared down at the blond who was lounging on the couch, his shirt open to reveal a smooth, pale chest. "I couldn't stand to watch Cedric all over you."
Draco laughed softly. "He was rather affectionate tonight."
"I don't blame him. If you were mine, I would never take my hands off of you." Harry climbed back on top of his once again lover, straddling his hips.
Draco sat up and wrapped his arms around Harry's slim waist. He kissed his chest, his neck, his jaw, his lips.
"I wish we could be like this always," Harry whispered as he closed his eyes.
Draco shifted them, then lowered Harry onto his back and lay on top of him, pressing their erections together.
Harry moaned softly and pulled him into a long deep kiss as he rocked his hips against the blond's.
Not wanting either of them to finish too soon, Draco forced Harry to still his hips. He trailed light kisses up his neck and over his chin until their lips finally met in a short kiss.
Harry smiled brightly up at him. "Does it feel different this time?"
Draco nodded. "It does. I don't feel as frantic as I used to feel. I don't feel like I need to prove myself to you."
"You never had to prove yourself. I've always thought you were amazing."
Draco kissed him deeply. It was a long, slow, gentle kiss and Draco was surprised to find that he had never felt so wanted before.
They undressed slowly and Draco took his time preparing Harry. It had always been so rushed and urgent, even in the beginning. So he made himself go slowly, kissing every inch of the other man's body and gently sliding one finger then another inside of him.
Harry gasped and arched his back when Draco's fingertips brushed his prostate. "Draco," he whispered as he pushed himself harder onto the blond's fingers. "More…it's not enough."
Draco smiled and leaned down to kiss him. His fingers moved faster inside Harry and the brunet let out a long, deep moan as he pulled his mouth away. "Christ…Draco, please."
Draco laughed softly at his pleading, but didn't relent; he was having too much fun. He moved his mouth to Harry's neck and licked at his pulse point while pushing deeper.
Harry was whimpering and writhing beneath him, pressing himself desperately against Draco's hand. "Close…Draco…don't want…" His breath caught as the blond twisted his fingers inside him. "Not yet…don't want…to come…without you."
Draco slowed his fingers to a torturous pace and moved so he was kneeling between Harry's bent legs. He pulled his fingers free and slid his cock in with one long, slow push.
Both men gasped and moaned as they became still, their arms wrapped tightly around each other, relishing the feel of each others bodies.
Draco buried his face in Harry's perpetually messy hair and forced himself to breathe. "You feel better than I remembered," he whispered. He raised himself onto his forearms and looked down into Harry's eyes. "Are you okay?"
Harry nodded and breathed deeply through his nose, forcing his body to relax. He raised a trembling hand to Draco's face and stroked his cheek. "Move," he whispered.
Draco slowly pulled back, then slid back in.
Harry's head fell back on the cushion and he moaned loudly. "Again," he said as he pulled his legs up further.
Draco raised himself onto his hands, arms extended fully, then pulled out and thrust back in again, this time a little harder. He couldn't contain the small gasp that escaped as Harry clenched around him.
Harry sighed heavily as his eyes fell shut.
Draco's thrusts were steady, but unhurried. He wanted this to last as long as possible. He breathed deeply, in through the nose, out through the mouth.
"Harder," Harry begged him. He opened his green eyes and stared up at the blond.
Draco's thrusts became a bit more forceful. He ran his hand over Harry's chest and neck, feeling the frantic heart beat that he knew matched his own. He pushed even deeper.
Harry made a choking sound, then threw his head back and rocked his hips upward. "Yes…yes, right there…God…Draco…" One of his arms was flung over his head, his hand clutching at the arm of the couch. His other hand moved slowly down his chest and took his swollen cock into his hand, stroking fast.
Draco slapped Harry's hand away, stopping him from touching himself.
Harry whimpered. "Draco…"
Draco held tightly to Harry's wrist and pinned it to the couch next to the brunet's head. "I don't want you to come yet," he told him.
"But I'm close," Harry cried.
"No, not yet." Draco's thrusts slowed and he lowered himself onto his elbows. "Wait for me," he whispered.
Harry pulled his wrist free then ran both hands up Draco's chest, over his shoulders and into his hair. He pulled him down into a rough, bruising kiss.
Draco's hips stilled as he was lost in the intensity of the almost painful joining of their mouths.
Harry snaked his hands down Draco's sides, causing goose bumps to break out over the blond's flushed skin. His hands moved down to Draco's hips, then around to clutch at his arse. His fingers kneaded the flesh, then gripped him tightly and pulled him down hard on top of him.
Draco groaned deeply and buried his face in Harry's neck. He licked the salty skin and brought his mouth up to Harry's ear. "You asked for it," he whispered.
Harry smiled, almost shivering in anticipation. "I'm looking forward to it." He shifted himself a bit then wrapped his legs around Draco's waist, locking his ankles together.
Draco stared down into his eyes before he suddenly began to pound fast and hard into the smaller man.
Harry gasped and his hands shot up to clutch at Draco's shoulders. His mouth fell open into a silent scream of pleasure and he arched his back, trying to get even closer.
The sound of skin hitting skin and the harsh breathing of the two men echoed through the small room.
Harry's nails were digging into his back, but Draco didn't care. He had never felt so alive before. And he couldn't tear his eyes from Harry's face.
Harry's eyes were half shut and he was biting his lower lip hard to keep from screaming. His cheeks were flushed and his chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath.
The couch creaked slightly as Draco lowered himself a bit, trapping Harry's ignored cock between them. The brunet moaned at the sudden friction and thrust his hips faster.
"Don't scream when you come," Draco said then ran his tongue over Harry's ear. "Someone will hear." He nipped at his earlobe, then sat back on his knees, lifting Harry's hips from the cushions. He held tight to his hip with one hand and with his other hand, he wrapped his fingers around Harry's cock.
"Don't think…can't control it…" Harry managed between thrusts.
Draco could feel his orgasm coming and was almost disappointed that their encounter would soon be ending. His disappointment was quickly forgotten as his legs tensed and his toes curled. It felt like a fire was burning in the pit of his stomach. "Shit… Harry…I can't…"
"Wait…wait…wait…" Harry chanted softly. He locked his legs tighter around Draco's thrusting hips.
Draco repositioned himself, pulling Harry's legs free from his waist and bringing them to rest over his arms. His hands held tightly to Harry's thighs as he pushed in and out, faster and harder, watching himself slide in and out. "I can't…shit…oh fuck…Harry!" He thrust deep and held himself there as his cock pulsed, spilling his seed inside his lover. Gasping as waves of white hot pleasure burned through his body, he thrust again, hoping to extend it.
Harry took his cock in hand and gave it a couple quick strokes. "Draco," he whimpered. "Don't stop."
Draco thrust his hips, moaning at the feel of Harry's muscles clamping down around his spent cock. He pushed deep, trembling violently and easing himself through one of the most incredibly intense orgasms of his young life. "Harry," he said softly.
At the sound of his name, Harry's eyes rolled back and he yelled out Draco's name as thick spurts of come erupted from him, splashing over both of their chests. His body jerked again and again as Draco continued to move his softening erection inside him. When Draco finally stopped moving, Harry collapsed back onto the couch, his eyes closed while he breathed heavily.
"You're beautiful," Draco whispered once he had caught his breath. He leaned over and licked up a few drops of Harry's come before pressing their lips together in a gentle, loving kiss.
Harry had one hand on Draco's arse, holding him inside him. The other hand stroked the sweat dampened hair at the back of Draco's neck.
Draco pressed his chest to Harry's, trapping his sticky release between them, but he didn't really mind. He rested his forehead on Harry's shoulder and closed his eyes.
Harry kissed Draco's temple before finally letting go of his arse and allowing him to slip out. He wrapped his arms around the blond and nuzzled his hair with his nose.
"I don't think I can move," Draco said softly. He yawned and cuddled closer.
"I think I passed out for a few seconds." Harry laughed softly. "If that's what waiting seven months feels like, imagine what it would feel like if we waited a year."
"Don't even joke about that," Draco mumbled into his neck.
"Hey, don't fall asleep. We'll wake up stuck together." He shoved lightly at Draco's shoulder, forcing him to roll onto his side.
"Alright, alright." Draco sat up and looked around the room. "What are we supposed to use for cleanup?"
Harry looked around the room, then stood and slowly limped his way to the cooler behind the bar.
"You have the greatest arse," Draco said as watched him.
Harry pulled a bottle of water from the cooler and a clean rag from the sink. "Well, you'll have plenty of time to look at it since I don't think I'll be able to sit for a month." He smirked at the blond as he brought his supplies over to the couch. He knelt down in front of Draco and poured some water onto the cloth before gently wiping away the milky fluid that coated their chests.
Draco sat back and smiled as he watched Harry remove all signs of their lovemaking from both of their bodies.
Once they were thoroughly cleaned, Harry threw the rag in the trash and grabbed his boxers and pants. He began to dress slowly. "How did you know it was me?" He glanced over his shoulder and watched the pale blond dressing behind him.
Draco buckled his belt, then flopped back onto the couch, resting his head on the arm. "I didn't know for sure. I smelled pot, so I wandered up here and then suddenly you were blowing me."
Harry laughed. "So, technically, you were getting your dick sucked by a stranger."
Draco smiled and shrugged.
"But you said my name." Harry climbed over Draco and tucked himself between the blond and the back of the couch. He rested his head on Draco's still bare chest and sighed softly.
"Yeah," Draco said quietly as his arms automatically wrapped around the smaller man and pulled him closer. "I was really drunk and I just…I really wanted it to be you." He kissed the top of Harry's head.
Harry ran his fingertips over Draco's chest and stomach. "Why were you crying?"
Draco shifted nervously then pulled Harry so close that he was almost lying on top of him. "I think it was a combination of a lot of things."
Harry raised his head and looked down at him. "Like…?"
"Anger…bitterness…jealousy…sadness." Draco looked away, but his hand blindly found Harry's where it rested on his chest and he held it tightly against his heart. "Confusion." He looked back at the raven haired man and smiled softly.
Harry squeezed his hand, then let it go. He brought his fingers to Draco's swollen lips and traced them slowly. "Confusion about…?"
"You and me." Draco rolled onto his side so they were lying face to face, their legs entwined. "And me and Cedric." He sighed softly. "I don't want to hurt him."
"I know." Harry kissed him softly and brushed his hair from his eyes.
"And I don't want to hurt you either." Draco sat up and leaned against the arm of the couch.
Harry sat up and faced him. "You're not going to hurt me," he laughed.
"I don't know if I want to leave Cedric," Draco admitted nervously. He looked down at his hands and silently cursed their shaking.
Harry laughed another soft laugh. "I'm not expecting you to."
Draco looked up in surprise. "You're not?"
Harry shook his head. "You're with Cedric, I'm with Oliver." He shrugged. "That's just how it is and I think it's best we keep it that way."
Draco stared at him in shock. "You're back with him?"
Harry nodded.
"Why isn't he here?"
"He's in Germany for a few months. I only stayed in town because of the wedding. I'm leaving tomorrow."
Draco frowned. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Harry raised an eyebrow at him. "Why should I have? Does it matter?"
"That you're leaving the country for a few months? Yes, it fucking matters!" Draco stood and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on roughly.
Harry stood and folded his arms over his chest. "Why are you acting like this? We always go months without seeing each other or talking to each other. What's different this time?"
Draco stopped and let his shoulders slump. "I don't know," he said then sighed and sat down with his head in his hands. "It's the alcohol talking, I suppose."
Harry laughed as he sat down and put his arm around him. "You're jealous. And that's okay."
Draco looked up at him and managed a small smile. "I wish I could split myself in two so I could be with both of you."
"What if we got tired of each other?"
"I don't think we would." He leaned back against the arm again and motioned for Harry to come to him.
Harry moved over so he was sitting between Draco's legs with his back to the blond's chest. He sighed happily as Draco held him tightly against him.
"Did you realize that before today, we only ever had sex on people's birthdays?" Draco asked.
Harry laughed. "Really?"
Draco nodded and kissed Harry's ear. "The first time was Blaise's birthday, then mine, then yours, then Hermione's."
Harry laughed. "I hadn't realized."
"When you didn't show up for Blaise's birthday this year, I was so ridiculously disappointed." Draco laughed.
"I wanted to be there, but I was working."
"I know, Pansy told me. So how's the job working out?"
"I quit," Harry said with a shrug. "I love animals and all, but pet shops are gross and unsanitary."
"Well, why didn't you come to the club after work?"
Harry looked down at their joined hands. "I had just had a huge fight with Oliver and I wasn't in the mood."
Draco sighed heavily and kissed Harry's head. He held him tighter and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself. "I have to say this and please don't get angry with me," he said softly.
Harry gave him a small nod.
"Why do you let him hurt you?"
As he expected, Harry immediately stiffened in his arms. "I don't let him. You've met him. You know what he's like."
"Yes, but you keep going back to him."
Harry was silent.
"Why haven't you ever gone out and tried dating someone else?"
"He loves me," Harry whispered.
Draco's heart broke for the boy in his arms. "That's not love, Harry."
Harry roughly pulled away and jumped to his feet, quickly gathering the rest of his things. He pulled on his shirt and jacket and draped his tie around his neck while at the same time trying to slip his shoes on.
"Don't go," Draco said as he watched. "We always leave on bad terms and I don't want that this time."
"The reception is about over and I'm sure your boyfriend is probably wondering where you are." Harry's voice was sharp and loud and his face was burning with anger.
"Don't be angry," Draco pleaded as he stood and took Harry's hand in his. "I just want you to be safe."
"He doesn't do that anymore," Harry said softly. "He's seeing someone and it's going to get better. It has gotten better."
"Okay." Draco took Harry's chin in his hand and made him look up.
"Is it such a bad thing that I want someone to love me?" Harry asked.
Draco couldn't answer, so instead he just kissed the boys forehead and stepped back from him, giving him space. "Let's change the subject, shall we?"
Harry's eyes were filled with tears. He blinked furiously and nodded his agreement.
Draco pulled him into a long hug. "Have a good time in Germany."
Harry looked up at him and smiled sadly. "I'm going to miss you."
Draco grinned and cradled Harry's tear streaked face in his hands. "Me too." He kissed him gently, but when he started to pull away, the brunet dragged him closer and kissed him passionately.
"Wow," Draco said softly as he pulled back. "What was that for?"
Harry shrugged. "I just can't help myself. You have the most beautiful mouth I have ever seen." He kissed him once more then reluctantly stepped back. "We should go."
Draco nodded and finished dressing then glanced around the room. "Why don't you go on ahead and I'll straighten up in here."
"You sure?"
Draco nodded and walked him to the door. "You've been gone for three hours now. I've only been missing for one."
Harry smiled and kissed him again. "I'll see you in a couple months."
"Will you be back for my birthday?"
"Wouldn't miss it." He pulled Draco to him and rested his forehead against the blond's.
Draco closed his eyes for a moment, just enjoying being close to Harry. "Alright…go." He kissed him and pulled back, opening the door.
"Bye," Harry said, squeezing his hand. He smiled and winked then slipped out the door.
Draco watched him walk away then hurried around the room, making sure to erase all signs of their presence. He found Harry's half smoked joint in an ashtray and lit it up, taking a few quick hits before stubbing it out and pocketing the rest.
He stood dazed for a moment, amazed at the intensity of his high and wondering how Harry, who never had a job, could afford such good pot. He rubbed his face and downed the rest of the bottle of water that Harry had pulled from the cooler, hoping to clear his head just a bit before grabbing his jacket and heading back downstairs.
He froze at the bottom of the stairs when he saw Cedric sitting on a bench with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands.
Oh shit…did he see Harry? Bloody hell…here comes the guilt.
Draco took a few steps forward and awkwardly cleared his throat to alert Cedric of his presence.
Cedric looked up at him with tired eyes and gave him a small smile.
"Everyone gone already?" Draco sat down on the bench next to him.
"Mostly. Ron and Hermione just left. Most of the Weasley's are still here. And Harry…he's still here. But you already knew that." Cedric glanced over at him, then looked down at his hands.
Draco didn't know what to say. He stared at his boyfriend in quiet confusion, trying to figure out if he was angry or upset…but Cedric's facial expressions were not giving anything away.
Draco was startled when Cedric suddenly stood. "Are you ready? I'm really tired."
"Sure." Draco also stood. He opened his mouth to speak again, but was instantly cut off.
"Don't," Cedric said, a bit of desperation and anger in his voice. He finally turned and looked into Draco's glassy grey eyes. "You're high?"
Draco nodded, not the least bit ashamed.
Cedric just sighed and scratched at his hair.
Draco reached out and took his hand. "You always want me to be honest, don't you?" He didn't know why he had such an urge to confess.
"Not about this," Cedric said as he let go of his hand and wrapped his arms tightly around himself. "Just…don't say it Dray. If you don't say it, then…then I can pretend that nothing's changed and since I'm…I don't want to let you go. I'm not ready and…" He covered his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. "I love you, you stupid, selfish git."
Draco's heart throbbed painfully as he pulled him into his arms and held him against him. He didn't regret being with Harry, but God…he knew how Cedric felt and there was nothing pleasant about it. It was killing him that he was the cause of such distress. His chest tightened as he felt Cedric press closer to him, holding tighter to his jacket. "I love you," Draco whispered as he rubbed Cedric's back. "Cedric…I love you, baby. So much. Are you listening?" He stroked his sandy hair and kissed the side of his head.
Cedric nodded and pressed his face deeper into Draco's neck.
"I will always love you," Draco continued as he tightened his grip on the slightly taller man. "No matter what, remember that." He kissed his head again and buried his nose behind his ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and…let's just go home and…" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Let's go home."
"You're not leaving me?" Cedric asked, almost sounding confused.
Draco pulled back, holding him at arms length. "Of course not! Don't be absurd." He was surprised how much the idea of them breaking up panicked him. He took Cedric's face in his hands and made him look him in the eye. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I don't want to share you," Cedric said. "But I'm starting to think that's the only way I can keep you." His cheeks flushed when he admitted his feelings, but he managed to hold Draco's stare.
Draco stared back in shock. I'm a bad, bad man. Look what I've done.
Cedric slowly moved closer to Draco and wrapped his arms around the blond's neck.
"You deserve better than me," Draco whispered, then pulled his boyfriend closer, his arms around him in an almost painful embrace.
"I don't want better." Cedric gently kissed his neck then rested his head on his shoulder. "I was… afraid that you wouldn't be coming home with me tonight."
"I'll always come home to you," Draco promised.
"That's all that matters to me." Cedric finally relaxed in the blond's arms. "As long as I have you there to hold, everything will be okay." He kissed Draco's jaw. "I don't think I could sleep without you in my arms."
Draco sighed softly and pulled back to look at him. "Why aren't you yelling? Or hitting me? Or…or breaking up with me?"
Cedric smiled sadly as he stroked his boyfriend's cheek. "I just want you to be happy. And as long as I know you love me and that you will keep coming home, I'll be okay."
"Do you understand what you're saying?" Draco frowned and stepped back from him, breaking all contact. "How messed up it is?" Has he lost his fucking mind?
Cedric cocked his head and pressed his lips together in a tight line. "It's either accept it and we go on being happy, or let it break my heart like I did yours."
"You're doing this because you think you deserve it after what you did." Draco was getting angry. How had this loving, confident, self sufficient man turned into someone who was suddenly willing to allow his boyfriend to keep a lover? Easy answer…because I'm a bastard and I broke him.
Cedric shrugged. "I'm just trying to say what you obviously want me to say."
Draco was confused and his face showed it. "You…what?"
Cedric straightened his shoulders. "Obviously you want someone who puts your wants and needs first and cares nothing of their own happiness." He gave his own fake, confused look. "You mean, you don't want me to just roll over and let you fuck whoever you want to?"
Draco's face was burning, a mixture of shame and anger. "Stop it. You know I don't want those things."
"Really?" Cedric snapped. "And how the fuck am I supposed to know that when I can smell him on you right now?"
Draco flinched as if he had been struck. He swallowed hard. "Cedric, you don't-"
"No! You don't get to tell me what I do or don't understand or what I feel or don't feel or how much you love me or that you're fucking sorry! Not until you can be honest and just admit that I'm not enough for you. Maybe then I'll listen to you. Say it, Draco…say it and it'll be done and you won't have to feel guilty anymore and I'll walk away and you can go get your perfect lover and live happily ever after with him. 'Cause I don't want to do this if this is how it's going to be. I love you far too much for that."
"What do you want me to say? I said I was sorry. It won't happen again. I promise."
Cedric snorted. "You promised once that it wouldn't happen in the first place. Look where we are now."
Draco just stared at him helplessly. "Tell me what to say and I'll say it," he said, his voice small.
Hazel eyes gazed thoughtfully at him for a while. "We should change the rules of our relationship if you're not happy."
Draco's brow furrowed. "I never said I wasn't happy."
"No, but actions speak louder than words, love." Cedric looked away for a moment. "I've been doing some thinking anyway and I've recently come to the conclusion that monogamy is…not a practical expectation."
"But it should be!" Draco yelled, gripping his hair with both hands. "Why don't you expect more from me?"
Cedric raised an eyebrow as he watched Draco's mini-fit. "Why do you think? I know the temptation to stray, Draco. I don't hate you for it. As long as you won't hate me for it."
Draco stared at him with his mouth hanging open.
Cedric cleared his throat and straightened his jacket.
"You want us to see other people?"
"No…no dating. But maybe we should…allow certain other things."
Nausea overwhelmed him. He didn't want Cedric to be with other people. The thought of another man touching him made his face flush with jealousy and rage. Bloody hypocrite.
Cedric laughed softly, but there was no humor there. "I take it you don't like that idea?"
Draco clenched his jaw to the point of pain and shook his head. "I can't stand the idea of anyone else touching you." He couldn't look at him, so he stared at the floor between them.
There was a long, drawn out silence. The only sound was the faint music coming from the ballroom down the hall.
"So…you don't want me sleeping with strangers?"
Draco shook his head.
"Then imagine if I wanted to sleep with someone that you knew. Someone that, despite your discomfort, you had been forced to spend holidays and birthdays and weddings with. Someone that you knew that I loved."
Draco's breath caught and he finally looked up to see Cedric staring at him, his eyes dangerous and angry. He struggled to breathe. "I-"
"You promised…promised that he was nothing to be jealous of!"
"He's…he's not," Draco stammered.
Cedric snorted and folded his arms over his chest, all signs of insecurity, weakness and begging gone from his voice and expression. All that was there was anger.
"You're the one I love," Draco said softly, reaching for his hand.
Cedric took a step back and avoided Draco's reach. "How am I supposed to not be jealous?"
Draco let his hand drop and looked back at the floor. "I don't know."
Cedric sighed heavily and leaned back against the wall. "We have to figure something out. If you're going to continue seeing him, then I'm not staying. I can't just sit around and wait for you to be with me when it's convenient for you. I'm no one's consolation prize."
"I never thought you were." Draco felt like he was going to be sick at any moment and he had to fight himself not to bolt to the nearest restroom. He had to stick out this conversation if he wanted Cedric to stay.
"It's either all or nothing, Dray. You're either with me or you aren't. And if we are together, there will be absolutely no room in our lives for Harry Potter. It's him or me."
I knew the time would come when I'd have to choose, but I didn't think it would be so soon.
"Well?"
"You," Draco whispered and he was sure that something inside of him broke at his words. A rush of tears flooded his eyes and he choked as his throat closed up and the enormity of his answer crushed him. I can never see him again.
Cedric watched as his boyfriend collapsed onto the bench in a sobbing, hysterical mess, but he didn't move to comfort him. He just waited.
Draco's hands were shaking violently as he wiped at his tears and tried to stop the overwhelming grief that crushed him. He was tired and sad and relieved and heartbroken and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for a week.
This isn't how it was supposed to happen.
Draco was so lost in his thoughts that he flinched in surprise when he felt someone take his hand and pull him slowly to his feet. He brushed his tears away again before looking up at his boyfriend.
Cedric managed a small, heartbreaking smile. He gently wiped away Draco's tears then gave his arm a gentle tug. "Come on. Come dance with me." His hazel eyes were shining with unshed tears and Draco felt his heart give another painful lurch.
They made their way to the ballroom in silence, stopping just inside the doors to look at the few people who remained.
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were standing in the corner talking to Mr. and Mrs. Granger. Fred and George Weasley were behind the DJ booth, chatting with the DJ. There were a few other people scattered throughout the room that Draco didn't know. And the only people on the dance floor were Harry and Ginny Weasley.
Cedric guided him to the opposite side of the dance floor and pulled him into his arms.
Draco buried his face in Cedric's neck and closed his eyes. He was feeling weak from both alcohol and marijuana use, along with his activities with Harry and the emotional roller coaster of the last past hour and a half.
"I just want to go home," he whispered softly against his boyfriend's skin.
Cedric rubbed his back and kissed his head, not hearing his quiet request.
They danced slowly, barely moving, even through the faster paced songs.
Draco eventually relaxed and felt himself falling asleep in Cedric's arms. He forced his eyes open and turned his face from Cedric's neck. His eyes immediately fell on Harry, who was sitting at a table at the back of the room, watching him closely. The dark haired boy gave Draco a sad smile as he stood and pulled on his jacket, his eyes never looking away from him. He blew a kiss to the blond and rested a hand over his heart before turning and hurrying out the door.
"Are you ready love?" Cedric whispered, his soft lips brushing Draco's ear.
Draco nodded and lifted his head to kiss him deeply.
Cedric sighed and pulled him closer, kissing him harder. Then he pulled back and kissed his forehead before motioning to the door. "Let's go."
Draco nodded and sighed in relief.
*.*.*.*
AN: So…how was that?