Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property ofBuffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my imagination.
Happy Returns- Chapter 26
Martin was woken early one morning in bed by Louisa whispering his name.
"Martin! Martin," she whispered loudly in his ear, taking his hand at the same time.
"What! What's the matter?" he replied, as he woke up startled.
"Nothing...nothing's wrong. Can you feel this?" Louisa asked him, placing his hand on her belly.
For a while now she had been able to feel the baby move, just very small fluttery movements, too gentle for Martin to be able to feel. But this morning there were definite kicks that could be felt, and she desperately wanted Martin to feel them before the baby stopped.
"Oh...yes...yes I can," replied Martin. He could now feel their baby kicking. It was such a strange sensation, this new life that they had created together making its presence felt.
"Weird, isn't it?" Louisa said to him, thrilled that he could share the sensation with her now.
"Yes, I suppose it is. It doesn't hurt does it?" Martin was trying to imagine what it must be like for her.
"No, these are just gentle little kicks, it's just letting us know it's there. Pretty amazing though, isn't it?" Louisa said as she hugged Martin and kissed his cheek.
"It's umm...completely...err...normal for this stage of pregnancy," Martin told her gruffly, to cover up how emotional it was making him feel. But he returned her kiss and hugged her, burying his face in her neck, so happy to be with her at this special moment.
xXx
It was 28th November, Martin's birthday, and luckily it fell at the weekend. He didn't want a big fuss made, as far as he was concerned it was just another day. They'd agreed to have Chris and Jenny round for a meal on the Saturday evening, and then have Sunday lunch at Joan's on his actual birthday.
Louisa was happy with this. After all, at least Martin now had some social life, he happily bought tickets for the hospital Charity Ball twice a year without any prompting from her, and he also happily spent the evening with Chris and Jenny Parsons either at their house or at home. Louisa accepted that for Martin, these were quite significant changes. She was trying hard not to try to change him too much. That was one of the main reasons for the non wedding after all, the fact that she thought she could change him, she'd realised just in time that this was never a good reason to marry someone. No, she had to accept him for who he was, and if, in time, he felt able to relax and allow other aspects of his character to reveal themselves, all to the good.
And he had. He had shown himself to be a very loving and caring father to Luke, much to many people's surprise. He was also being almost unbearably protective towards her in her pregnancy, having appeared cold and disinterested last time –she understood now that had been a front to cover up his true feelings – classic Martin behaviour. She had mostly resisted the urge to try to force him to change the way he dressed – he was gradually accepting some small changes to his wardrobe after all. But any change had to be at a pace that he felt comfortable with, he had to know that she loved him as he was, for who he was – she knew now that underneath his very hard appearing outer shell, he was actually quite insecure and lacking in self confidence. His professional medical role that he felt most comfortable with gave him the perfect shield to hide behind – he still used it with her sometimes, even now.
She believed that he did know how much she loved him, despite their rows and their ups and downs. That was why he had understood her silent apology by way of her reaching out for his hand after their last row – sometimes words just got in the way. These rows were inevitable given that they were both strong personalities who had been used to doing things their own way for many years – they were bound to drive each other nuts from time to time, it was part of the spark between them. Anyway it would be boring if they always agreed and saw eye to eye on everything. Making up was usually good fun anyway.
xXx
Martin and Louisa both enjoyed cooking, so they had planned out the meal they were cooking for Chris and Jenny together, and were now in the kitchen preparing it together companionably, trying to get a lot of the preparation done while Luke was having a nap. Louisa felt Martin come up behind her and place his hand on her tummy as he kissed her neck. She moved his hand over a little bit.
"It's kicking on this side at the moment," she told him. He may not have said very much about his emotions when he'd felt their baby move, but now he often came up in this way when they were on their own to feel the baby kicking if he could. Louisa was very happy to let him feel the baby move at any time. But when they were in company, he didn't show this side of his personality – that was his way, and she supposed that she was lucky that she at least got to see the other side of him.
Once Luke was awake, Louisa was occupied with looking after him while Martin carried on with the meal preparations. She felt very lucky to have a partner who could cook so well. Many of her friends complained that their husbands couldn't even manage to boil an egg, which she thought was rather pathetic. That was another advantage of having been on their own for many years before they got together, they were both perfectly capable of looking after themselves, so happily shared all of the household tasks for the most part.
Of course, Luke wanted to be near his Daddy, anything to do with Martin was fascinating to Luke. They had to make sure that Martin's study door was always firmly closed when he was around, anything in there was like a magnet to him. Most things were out of his reach, but they knew he was pretty soon going to figure out how to climb up to reach new intriguing things. He was getting the hang of climbing the stairs, but they only let him try under supervision – Martin had had too many injury cases relating to falls on stairs to take any chances with his own son.
When Louisa took Luke away from Martin, who was trying to cook, he threw a tantrum, screaming and kicking and crying. Martin was horrified.
"Why on earth is he behaving that way?" he asked, perplexed. Louisa calmly lay him on the floor next to her and let him finish his tantrum. She was used to dealing with all sorts of children's behaviours over the years, so it didn't really faze her at all.
"He can't help it. He's frustrated and doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. It's no good trying to reason with him until he's calmed down, he's actually scaring himself at the moment so he just needs some quiet reassurance. Shouting at him will just make things worse. You never reward a tantrum by giving in to stop the noise just because you're embarrassed – that's what people tend to do if it happens in a shop or something, but it's the worst thing that you can do, that's how toddlers learn to throw a tantrum to get what they want. It's all quite straightforward when you analyse it logically Martin. He'll calm down in a few minutes, as long as we don't make a big deal about it." Sure enough, in a little while he calmed down. Louisa cuddled him and kissed him, wiping away his tears, and soon he was back to his normal self, paddy over.
Martin looked at Louisa with new respect. Thank God she knew how to handle toddler tantrums, he would have to read up about them and take some lessons from her – this was something most definitely outside his area of expertise.
xXx
They had a very pleasant meal with Chris and Jenny. They'd agreed to keep things simple and not get birthday presents, so they just gave Martin a birthday card – he was incredibly hard to buy for in any case.
As they sat chatting at the end of the meal over cheese and biscuits, the conversation turned to hobbies.
"Martin's hobby is antique clocks, restoring them and such like, but you haven't had much time of late to spend on it have you?" Louisa said to him. Privately she thought it was just as well, there were already a considerable number of clocks around the house from when he had had lots of time on his hands. Luckily he didn't keep them all going by winding them up, she thought all the ticking would keep her awake at night otherwise.
"No, too many other things to keep me occupied now," Martin agreed. He'd found restoring the clocks very therapeutic when he'd been unable to undertake any surgery because of his blood phobia. He'd only ever bought clocks made by the finest makers whose standard of workmanship in the intricate mechanisms impressed him.
"Well perhaps you could give me some advice on a clock that I inherited from my Grandmother, Martin. I'm not sure if it would be worth restoring or not," said Jenny, then described the clock to him.
"That sounds very similar to one that I have, come and take a look at it and see if it's the same sort," Martin offered, showing her to where it was in his study. Jenny was one of a very small group of people that Martin felt reasonably at ease with, he found her to be intelligent but with common sense, a rare combination in his experience, especially in a woman, so he was happy that she and Louisa were now very good friends.
After showing her the clock and establishing that it was very similar to the one that she had inherited, Martin offered to have a look at it for her.
"Are you sure you've got the time Martin, with everything on your plate at the moment?" Jenny asked him.
"Well, I'm sure I can find a spare hour or two to spend on something different for a change," Martin replied, quite looking forward to doing it.
"So, how are you feeling about Louisa's pregnancy and becoming a father again?" Jenny asked him, not usually getting the chance to speak to him on his own.
"Happy, but apprehensive, naturally. Worried about Louisa working too hard, but she just thinks that I'm being overprotective of course," Martin confided to her.
"Yes, she does work ridiculously hard, doesn't she? I've told her she should cut back, but I think she's worked so hard over the years building up her school, and done such a fantastic job of it, that she finds it hard to hand anything over to someone else, which I can understand. Even so, I think she needs to rest more," Jenny told him.
"You do? You mean that you agree with me, you're not taking her side and telling me not to fuss so much?" Martin was surprised to find that he had an ally in Jenny, he'd assumed the two women would club together against him.
"It's not a case of taking sides, Martin, we all want the same thing after all, Louisa's health and the health of the baby are what's most important. I've pointed out that being pregnant only lasts a few months out of a whole lifetime, so she should make the most of it, take the chance to rest and be pampered now– it's going to be very hard work with a toddler and a new baby, believe me I know, I've been there. Maybe you have to learn to be a bit more subtle, not confront her so much Martin, maybe you back her into a corner sometimes so she rebels," Jenny suggested.
"Well I'm afraid being subtle or manipulative is not my strong point, I just say things how I see them," Martin said.
"So I gather. Well I'll try to keep any eye on her as well and encourage her to take things a bit easier," Jenny promised.
"Thank you, I'd appreciate that," Martin said, thinking that Louisa might perhaps take more notice of her friend than him.
xXx
In the kitchen Chris was having a conversation with Louisa.
"So, how are you feeling, better now that you're past those first horrid weeks of throwing up all the time?" Chris asked her.
"Fine, I feel so much better now," Louisa replied. Chris was always very easy to talk to, he was a very good listener. She imagined that he'd been a very sympathetic doctor, so she felt that it was a shame that he was now in a high flying administrative role and not using all his medical skills. Still that was his choice, he preferred the hours that fitted around his family life.
"And Martin, taking good care of you is he?" Chris asked again.
"You could say that," Louisa replied with a raise of her eyebrows.
"Ah yes, Jenny did mention that he was being a bit over protective in your opinion," Chris said.
"Don't get me wrong, Chris, I'm thrilled that he is so committed and involved about the baby, but it seems that he is resentful about my job. I love my job, it's taken me years to get to this point, and now he seems to think I should just drop it all and sit at home with my feet up – well that's just not me I'm afraid, and he's going to have to accept that sooner or later. He's just so old fashioned in his views," Louisa told him with some feeling.
"I see. Well it's his way of..." Chris started to say.
"Oh don't tell me about him needing to look after me, showing he cares etc etc, I've had the lecture several times already, and I am letting him take care of me, but I'm not prepared to give up work just like that. How would he like it if he had to let someone else run his surgery for him while he sat back and watched – he'd hate it wouldn't he?" Louisa replied.
"Yes he would, but I think he'd also point out that he isn't the one who's pregnant Louisa. It's just how he is, if he has a project of any kind, he always gives it his full 100% attention, that's what makes him such a bloody good doctor, he's so thorough and meticulous. Your pregnancy is his current project so to speak, so you are getting his full undivided attention for a lot of the time, and he worries about every little detail that he has no doubt researched. And us men do feel very guilty for what you women have to go through in order to procreate, I know I did with Jenny when she had our boys," Chris explained, knowing Martin better than most people.
"I know you're right, but if he could only back off a little, let me get on with my job, I wouldn't feel so...suffocated at times, and then that's when I get really bad tempered and horrid with him. Then I feel really guilty for being such a horrid cow," Louisa told him with a sigh.
"Would you like me to have a word with him, see if I can get him to ease back just a smidgen?" Chris offered.
"I'd appreciate that, thanks," Louisa told him happily, glad that he wasn't taking Martin's side and not lecturing her about not to working so hard.
"OK, I will, but in the meantime, just try to humour the old boy a little bit, at least pretend to rest a bit more, he really isn't such a bad chap is he?" Chris told her with a wicked smile and a wink.
"OK, for you Chris, I will try," Louisa agreed, laughing with Chris. He'd probably achieved in five minutes easy chat what Martin had been trying to achieve for weeks with Louisa – her agreement to slow down a bit. He really was a very good communicator.
xXx
Martin had noticed that of late there had been no phone calls telling him that he was 'needed', neither had his clothes been torn off him as soon as he stepped in through the door, so he'd assumed that Louisa's hormones had sorted themselves out and her libido had adjusted again. Also being back at work full time was exhausting for her, no matter what she said, and Luke was pretty demanding too, all these things took their toll after all. He understood and was fine with this, he was happy so long as they were still close to each other, and he felt that cuddling up to her and being able to feel their unborn baby move was about as close as any couple could get. He would simply take his guidance from her as to what she wanted. He'd had many years of celibacy, so he could cope just fine, however much harder it was for him now that he slept in the same bed as this beautiful women that sometimes he still couldn't believe was his wife.
So he was pleasantly surprised to be woken up on his birthday by Louisa making clear her intentions by kissing him, running her hands under his top and undoing his pyjamas.
"Happy birthday Martin. Just lie back, relax and enjoy," Louisa told him, thinking they should just have enough time for what she had in mind before Luke woke up.
Who was he to argue, he thought, so he simply did as he was told, thinking that there were definite advantages to having a birthday even if it did mean he was another year older. As they lay together afterwards, he felt obliged to clear something up that was bothering him.
"That was very nice, if unexpected Louisa. I'd assumed, or thought that...well you no longer...you don't have to force yourself on my account, I'm quite capable of going without sex, I'm not like those playboy footballers who can't keep it in their trousers or go without for more than a day at a time you know," Martin told her.
"Oh Martin, surely you know me well enough by now that I would never 'force' myself, and as for you being like those footballers..."she burst out laughing at the thought of it.
"Right, well as long as we're clear, I'm happy just to be close to you, with no pressure for anything more, even if certain parts of my anatomy may indicate otherwise, that's purely a hormonal response that we males are unable to completely control, so just ignore it."
"Trouble is Martin, 'it' is quite hard to ignore in your case," Louisa teased him. "I may not be such a raging nympho now, but that doesn't mean that I wish to become a nun. But I appreciate what you're saying, it's very sweet and considerate of you."
Luke must have remembered that it was his Daddy's birthday because he was thoughtful and only woke up and demanded to be picked up once Martin had received his first birthday present.
xXx
As the three of them sat eating their breakfast, Louisa presented Martin with two more presents.
"This one is from Luke, isn't it?" Louisa said, to Luke, getting him to nod his head with her.
"Daddy," Luke said, pointing at Martin and smiling.
"Letting him go shopping on his own then are you?" Martin asked, picking up the parcel. He unwrapped it to find a new tie.
"It's to replace your silk one that he wiped his nose on," Louisa explained. They'd be surprised that snot had caused such a bad stain, but then silk was always very difficult to clean, much better to have machine washable ones in her opinion. There was also a card from Luke saying 'To my Daddy', with lots of scribbles inside. Luke loved scribbling, they had to make sure the crayons were out of his reach unless he was supervised otherwise a lot of surfaces would be scribbled on before he got bored and chewed them up instead.
"Thank you Luke," Martin said, before turning his attention to the other present.
"You really didn't have to get anything Louisa, I thought we agreed ..." Martin started to protest.
"We will always celebrate birthdays in this house Martin, it's part of being a family to make a fuss of someone on their special day," Louisa told him.
"I see." Martin felt rather guilty that he hadn't made more of a fuss of Louisa on her birthday now, he just wasn't in the habit of it.
He opened this present to find a box containing a pair of silver cufflinks.
"I hope you like them Martin, I designed them myself. I thought maybe you could wear them to the Charity Ball next week," Louisa said, trying to see by his face if he actually liked them or not. She'd spent ages on the design. She'd had them made especially by a silversmith that had been recommended to her by Jenny. They may not be in the same league as the diamond necklace that Martin had given her, but men were very hard to buy for, especially ones like Martin, and at least he did wear cufflinks.
He stared at them. They were beautiful. They were oval in shape, and engraved on them were their initials entwined together. Each also had a tiny Forget-Me-Not flower engraved on it.
"In Victorian times, the 'Forget-Me-Not' flower symbolised 'true love', so that's what I chose to have engraved with our initials. I hope you don't think that's too soppy or sentimental," Louisa explained.
"I think... I think...they are the most thoughtful present I've ever received," Martin told her as he reached across the table to kiss her. He was actually very touched by the symbolism, these cufflinks would now be one of his most prized possessions.
Luke watched his Mummy and Daddy kissing, not paying too much attention because it was simply normal behaviour as far as he was concerned, that's what Mummy's and Daddy's did.
xXx
They had a lovely Sunday lunch with Joan, she cooked them a roast chicken dinner. They never liked to think too much about where the chicken came from.
Joan gave Martin his present from her– she had baked him his favourite fruit cake. She couldn't afford expensive presents, but Martin was more than happy with this, he would have just a small slice each day to keep to his healthy diet of course.
"So, have you thought about any names for this baby yet?" Joan asked them.
"No, not yet, maybe after the 20 week scan next week, if everything seems OK then we might start to think about things like that, don't you think Martin?" Louisa replied. That wasn't quite true, Louisa couldn't help running through various names in her mind, but she hadn't discussed any with Martin yet.
"Marty, have you any thoughts about names at all?" Joan asked her nephew when he didn't answer. He looked up now, having been reading his Sunday newspaper while Louisa and Joan were chatting and playing with Luke.
"Names for what?" he asked.
"Your baby!" Joan told him, exasperated.
"Oh. No, not really, I'm sure Louisa will come up with something," he replied, not really paying much attention, and turning back to his newspaper. That was how he usually spent at least part of Sunday if he could, reading his broadsheet newspaper.
"Well I thought Danny for a boy actually," Louisa said, hoping to provoke a reaction from him.
"And I thought Edith for a girl actually," Martin retorted, looking up.
"Come on Luke, I can see I'm not going to get a sensible answer out of your Mummy and Daddy, let's go shut up my chickens before it gets dark, hmmm?" Joan said, taking Luke by the hand. Honestly those two were like big kids sometimes, she thought to herself.
xXx
"So, have you enjoyed your birthday this year Martin?" Louisa asked him later that evening when they were finally alone. Last year on Martin's birthday they hadn't been living together for very long, so Louisa hadn't felt confident enough to make too much of his birthday then, which Martin hadn't worried about, the only person who had ever bothered to remember it in previous years was his Aunt Joan.
"Yes, it has been very pleasant, so thank you," Martin said, taking her in his arms and kissing her.
"And as for choosing a name for the baby, once we've had the OK at the scan next week, maybe we can talk about that a bit more sensibly hmm?"
"That would be a good idea I suppose," Martin agreed.
"We have lots to look forward to in the next month, the Charity Ball, our first Wedding Anniversary, and then Christmas..." Louisa said as she nestled against his chest.
"Hmm, it's that time of year again isn't it?" Martin agreed, not very enthusiastically.
"Oh bah humbug to you, you enjoyed last Christmas, didn't you?" Louisa asked as she kissed his cheek.
"If you say so." Martin still put on his scrooge act, pretending to hate Christmas, but Louisa knew that whatever he said, he hadenjoyed their first Christmas together however grumpy he pretended to be about it, and she intended to make this one just as happy.
All they had to do was get past the 20 week scan next week with the 'all clear', then everything would be well in the Ellingham household.