A/N: Hi again! I guess I have been too wrapped up in other stuff and I kinda..neglected this story :X But another chappie is here! I will see if I can do up another chapter by next week to make up for the time I'm gonna lose when I go out of the country for..about 9 to 10 days. As always, I wish to thank all who are reading this story! Especially the constant reviewers :D

Remus' letters to the Order had been growing shorter and shorter, as the world around him made lesser sense to him with each passing day. On the night before the full moon, he didn't even bother sending out another forcibly written out note. Telling the Order about the hunt would mean they would probably go all out to prevent it, and blow his cover. Also, with his mind still swirling around the snippets of conversation he had had with Fenrir, he could hardly think straight.

I am a grown man. I can handle this myself.

So with his worn frame against the creaky bed, his forehead slick with cold sweat, Remus began to devise a plan that he could only hope would work.

"Okay, everyone, gather 'round now," Fenrir called out loudly. The adults shuffled forward slowly, looking like guilty children. None of them dared to sit too near him. Remus tucked his left hand firmly into his pocket, and slid into the far shadows behind. Every now and then, he would check his breath, hoping that none of the others would catch the scent of Wolfsbane or silver wafting off him.

He had burned his hand with the small amount of silver the Order had passed to him, for use in "dire situations". Apparently, their definition of "dire" was the same as "suicidal", since Remus couldn't handle silver without being hurt himself.

Remus was hoping that with this injury, Fenrir would call off the hunt for fear of running into silver himself. Even if Fenrir didn't, perhaps it would be enough to scare the other werewolves off the hunt. The amount of silver wasn't enough to poison him, but was sufficient to make an injury that looked severe enough for immediate medical attention.

"...and that's the plan. All out of here, now. The Goddess will break out of her cover soon."

Remus chose a quiet spot. He might have taken his Wolfsbane, but he still felt uncomfortable being in sight of others when he transformed. Most of the other werewolves seemed to think similarly too, huddling tightly in the shadow of the house. Only Fenrir and a few others stood proudly in the clearing, looking obediently up to the appearing full moon.

When the moon finally managed to shine upon the pack with all her power, the transformations all occurred simultaneously. For Remus, it was relatively quick and painless, due to the strong dose of Wolfsbane. But all around him, he could hear the sound of screaming, bones cracking as they changed shape; and it made him feel more than a little terrified. Looking at the huge wolf that was Fenrir, which was prowling around the clearing, he felt even worse.

The sight of the beast brought only one word to his mind: monster.

How could I even have...

Fenrir snapped his jaws violently at the pack. All of them followed close behind him as he led the way through the thick woods. Though he was quite far behind, Remus could see the powerful frame of Fenrir ahead, thundering forward. They covered a large distance in a surprisingly short amount of time, driven by the fear of punishment if they dared slow down.

Remus knew that soon, they were going to reach the clearing, where the house of the doomed family sat.

Pretending to stumble over a gnarled root, Remus let out a loud howl. Immediately, the entire pack came to a standstill.

The sound of large paws plodding against the muddy ground resounded throughout the silent woods. If he had ever wondered how a furious wolf would look like, well, Remus was looking at one right now. However, as Fenrir drew closer, that expression appeared to soften. Remus let out a whine and offered his maimed paw to Fenrir, who sniffed it cautiously.

The scent of silver mixed in the blood on his paw must have been strong, as the larger wolf howled and backed away. Careful to avoid that injured paw, Fenrir nipped Remus' ear and nudged him to his feet. Remus made quite a bit of a show, stumbling here and there. Fenrir grunted at that, and decided to allow him to lean against his body. Growling at the rest of the pack, berating them for wasting time, he commanded them to continue with the hunt as he slowly led Remus off the trail.

Remus' heart sank, and he suddenly felt very queasy. Fenrir hadn't called off the hunt.

There was nothing he could do, as Fenrir nudged his paw into a small stream to wash off the blood. He made sure to avoid eye contact with Fenrir. He felt disgusted by the pack, by Fenrir, and by himself, especially when Fenrir started licking the side of his face, and he didn't even feel an urge to pull away.

Suddenly, howls filled the air again. The rest of the pack came bounding back. The family had managed to flee the area with the extra time bestowed by Remus upon them; they had failed the Dark Lord. This could only mean punishment and suffering for the pack, and they, in turn, were going to take it out on the one who caused the failure.

Frenzied, they leapt forward, attempting to bite and snap at Remus. Their teeth, coated with thick saliva, glistened dangerously in the moonlight. Traitor! Traitor! - their howls seemed to shout out. Without thinking, Remus drew back, hiding behind the protective frame of Fenrir. Fenrir was circling around him, swiping out at the others and snarling in a show of his dominance. The weaker ones hastily hurried away. The slightly more powerful ones continued their assualt for a longer time.

But in the end, all finally withdrew away. Remus knew from then on, though, that life with the adults was about to get much tougher.

Remus was brought to the bed of the cramped, shabby medical bay in the early hours of the next morning. The nurse, an adult woman, who was excused from such hunts due to her medical proficiency, fussed over his hand in a motherly fashion. She reminded him of Madam Pomfrey. She dabbed tentatively at his hand, wincing every time he whimpered at the pain. She then covered it with bandages, that looked like they themselves would cause the infection rather than prevent it.

"You should be fine. Maybe a little throwing up every now and then, but- Oh, good morning, Alpha!"

She scurried out of the room. Remus felt a little bile rise to his throat. He tilted his head away from Fenrir, holding his breath, partially to avoid vomiting and partially because he was frightened that he had been found out.

Thankfully, he was wrong. Fenrir sat comfortably at the side of the bed, looking as casual as he could ever look. He even seemed to be humming to himself. Remus lay awkwardly, watching the man carefully. He was still afraid that Fenrir might suddenly lash out at him.

After a while, the silence became too suffocating, and he decided he should break the ice. Get over whatever bad events were going to befall him.

"Thank you for visiting me, Alpha," he said lamely. Instantly, Fenrir turned and had a grin almost as wide as the Cheshire Cat. It was rather scary, an expression that Remus still was not accustomed to seeing on the man's face.

"How's your hand?"

"It'll be fine," Remus said quietly, watching nervously as Fenrir shifted closer to him, "Alpha."

"That's good to hear."

"Guess so," he said absentmindedly. Fenrir was still moving towards him.

Get out, get out of the bed!

Before Remus could edge away, Fenrir snatched his wrist and pulled him towards him.

"You're frightened," he said, "Why's that?"

Remus felt all the blood drain away from his face. His head was spinning and he felt extremely dizzy all of a sudden.

"W- why did you save me?"

Fenrir grunted at the lack of an answer, and for a moment, Remus had a real fear of being hit, until, what, no- Fenrir's warm mouth was on his. Remus gasped and tried to pull away- it was the only sane option, wasn't it? He just couldn't find the strength to do so, with Fenrir's strong hands gripping him in place, with the other man not letting him break away.

I want to break away. It's just him. I know I can do it if-

Fenrir pressed even harder on his lips. Remus found that he didn't even want to fight anymore. His mangled hand, and his healthy hand, they were both on Fenrir's larger back now, encouraging him to close the little distance that was left between them.

Encouraging?

As Fenrir bent down to start on Remus' neck, Remus was finally allowed to breathe again. But as soon as he took his very first breath, his head spun violently. He felt his stomach churn and the bile rise to his throat again, threatening to spill out of his mouth. Fenrir's mouth was on the cold skin of his neck; and no, now was not a good time for Fenrir to continue-

"Alpha.."

The man ignored him, and instead nipped him lightly on the neck, as if to silence him.

"Alpha, please-"

Fenrir lifted his hard eyes questioningly to meet Remus'. At that very moment, Remus shuddered as he felt the taste of vomit in his mouth. Quickly, with strength he didn't know he had, he shoved Fenrir aside. He managed to grasp the metal bowl at the side, just in time, and vomited the contents of his last meal into it. His hands were sweaty and he was shivering all over. The bowl teetered in the grip of his unsteady hands as he breathed deeply in and out.

Calmly, Fenrir reached out, taking the bowl from him and placing it back on the table firmly. He got off the bed and tucked Remus into it in a crude manner. A smile was spread on his face again, as if he had just won a massive victory.

"I'll get the nurse. See you soon."

Fenrir walked out of the door and pushed the nurse, who had been waiting, back in. The nurse scowled at Remus' state, and started wiping his face with towel after towel whilst feeding him various sorts of herbs. Even after all of that was done, Remus still felt dazed and weak, but he didn't think it was because of the silver anymore.

He now knew he had the strength to pull Fenrir off at that moment, if he wanted to. But he didn't.

And what did that mean?

Remus groaned and slumped back to the bed, after pondering over that for some time. This place was nuts. He was nuts. He didn't even understand what he himself wanted anymore.

In fact, it seemed that his initial purpose for staying in this house didn't even exist anymore. He could tell, through the half-hearted way that he was scripting his letters, that he wasn't staying here to get insider information for the Order. The real purpose- he reached for the bowl again, queasy at the way he was behaving and thinking- he knew very well what it was. And he also knew, though he might try to run from it, there was no real escape from it in sight.

A/N: Gosh, I hope this chapter wasn't too confusing. Also, I would like to apologise if I have made any typos or grammer mistakes here or the previous chapters. I have no beta, and I am using WordPad, so the only thing checking all this text is myself^^'' Thanks for taking the time to read the story!