Do you ever wonder what it would be like to step into Twilight FanFiction and give Bella the boot? How would you interact with all those Edwards that you know and love? Well, I decided to write a mini fanfic using my favorite fanfic Edward characters and a fictional character named Olivia. Olivia represents your typical female fanfic lover. Maybe she's you. Maybe's she's me. Whoever is she is; she just so happens to find herself stuck between Edward and a hard place. The only problem is; Olivia only sees Edward at night, in bed. You're probably thinking; WHAT? How is that a problem? Well, the thing is; she's always unconscious…

The following characters were originally adapted from Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" and recreated for the following author's personal pleasure. They are not created by me. I'm turning FanFiction on its head and doing FanFiction based on FanFiction characters.

I strongly urge you to read the following fics to get the full appreciation of my Edward character references.

Master of the Universe(Fifty) – SnowQueens Icedragon

Million Dollar Baby(Colossal Cockward) – clpsuperstar

Clipped Wings & Inked Armor(Tattward) – hunterhunting

Olivia – a fictional female character representing your typical fanfic lover

Jake – Olivia's ever-sleeping husband

Chapter 3: In bed with Edward, finally

My eyes snap open in a flash and I'm panting as the fleeting details of a nightmare about breastfeeding three triplet baby boys AT THE SAME TIME quickly escapes my memory. Oh my, I think God is trying to tell me something – he wants me to have three boys someday. Well, for now, I'll settle for my three FanFiction Edwards; Fifty, Cockward, and Tattward. Ugh, I feel clammy and I'm burning up! Jeez, who turned the heat on? But then I realize that Jake has me pulled into one serious spooning position and his rock hard midsection tells me that he's probably having a wet dream since it's 3am. I manage to roll over despite his vice grip on my waist and I drag my hands over his muscular arms as I position myself facing him.

W-W-WAIT! Jake is a big guy, but he's not this defined. Has he been working out more? My fingers move to his face and line the length of his strong jaw toward his chin and…and…wait – what the hell is this? I feel cold hard steel under my thumb as it grazes his bottom lip. Huh? Is that a lip ring? Jake doesn't have a lip ring! What is going on? I reach up and run my hand through his hair and once again am jolted by the odd texture under my fingers. Jake's hair normally feels stiff, spiky, and short, but this hair is thick and feels wavy and chaotic – and what are these, sideburns? Just then Jake flexes his hips forward meeting mine and I'm once again reminded of the bulge between us.

"Mmm…well hello Kitten," purred the dark figure gripping me tight, that I now realize is not my husband.

WHAT! Tattward? How could this be?

"Edward, is that you?" I whispered, feeling totally retarded because how in the hell could Edward be lying in my freaking bed in the Cali burbs?

"Well who the fuck else would it be Olivia? I thought I was the only one that's ever been in this bed with you. You're mine, remember?" He nuzzles his nose in my hair and murmurs "All mine."

Goosebumps cover the entire length of my body as I wiggle closer to him pressing my hips into his, now moving in some kind of unison. Are we dry humping? God it feels incredible. I could seriously do this for hours, but I do hope we move to first base.

"All yours" I answer back, feeling totally guilty because I'm married and all. At that moment the classic line enters my head: Jake – you snooze you lose! Oh well, since I'm here, I might as well oblige myself, so I brush my lips against his temple. Edward pulls his face back up to meet mine, practically nose to nose and he sighs slowly. At this moment I'm suddenly nervous that Edward is going to kiss me. I mean, it's not like I don't want him to, but for realz, I do have a wedding ring on. I mean, I actually don't because I don't sleep with it, but still. It's not like it doesn't count when it's not there!

"Edward, um…this is really awkward because I really, REALLY want you to touch me right now, but um…I'm kind of married."

I feel Edward scoot back creating an unpleasant space between our bodies. "You're fucking married? Why the fuck didn't you tell me? We've spent all these nights together and you didn't think that would be something that I should fucking know?" My eyes have adjusted to the darkness now and I can see Edward's features turn into a scowl.

"I don't know Edward…I…I guess I didn't think it was important or something", I rambled out knowing how lame I sounded. "You didn't think it was important? Olivia, I'm fucking in love with you."

WHAT! Oh god, this is everything I ever wanted to hear from Tattward, but I knew it was impossible. I mean, how could he love me? I'm just a desperate housewife reading FanFiction! Somehow I assumed this beautiful and dangerous looking man covered in tattoos, piercings, and God's gifts would choose someone, I don't know, more angsty and ratty hot like Bella. Why me? And never mind all that – what about Jake? He's sleeping in some layer of reality right now clueless to the fact that his wife is dry humping her tattooed fantasy. Suddenly I feel like I'm right smack in the middle of that Leonardo DiCaprio movie "Inception" where I can't tell whether I'm dreaming or if this is reality. And if I'm dreaming, I secretly don't want to wake up. I choose this reality Leo, so fuck off.

Oh the guilt!

"Edward, I can't. I want to, but I can't. I'm going to need you to get out of my bed." I say this meekly as if I don't believe my own words. Besides, our hips have already found each other again and they're once again moving in unison. We're having an erotic fight right now in which he's just told me he loves me and I've told him to get out, yet his rock hard cock is pressed into my throbbing kitty with only a pair of panties and boxer briefs between us. God, fighting with Edward is such a fucking turn on.

At this moment I decide that if I'm dreaming it's harmless, so I'm allowed to indulge, right? I mean, it's the only time I can, I reason with myself.

"Olivia, I know you love me too. It's more than this…" Edward breathes, as his hand moves down my side toward my moving hip and his lips find my neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses up to my jaw.

Oh fuck it. My inner goddess just did a triple back flip landing on the bed with her legs splayed wide open.

My fingers search for Edward's lips in the dark and I lean in slowly, closing my eyes and feeling the butterflies about to literally burst out of my stomach, and finally – gloriously – they find placement on his soft, full lips. OH GOD!

Suddenly I hear a muffled "What are you doing?" under my lips and I pull away feeling freaked out that I was too forward and Tattward was going to kick me out of MY bed!

"Liv, it's 3am, I'm sleeping!" Jake whines as he rubs his eyes.

"Um…sorry, I just had the urge to give you a 'lil kiss. I think I was having a hot sex dream about you," I chuckle guiltily.

"Well, I'm too tired. Let's do it tomorrow night. Go to sleep." Jake rolls over and immediately falls into a sleepy breathing pattern. I lay there in bed, propped up on both of my elbows as I'm bewildered at how real that dream of Tattward was. It was fucking amazing, ohmygod. That's it, I'm a horrible person.

I sink back down in bed and turn onto my side trying to remember every detail of Tattward; the way he felt under my fingers, the sound of his voice, the feel of his form pressed to mine. Oh lord, I must be freaking crazy and mucho desperado to have so many dreams about my Edwards, but this one didn't even include Fifty and Cockward! I guess right now I belong to Tattward until I finish reading "Clipped Wings & Inked Armor." I'll finish it soon, I think to myself as sleep begins to overtake my thoughts and I sink back into unconsciousness.

"You're mine, Olivia. All fucking mine," Edward breaths into my mouth as his lips form to mine, and his tongue sweeps across my bottom lip…