Do you ever wonder what it would be like to step into Twilight FanFiction and give Bella the boot? How would you interact with all those Edwards that you know and love? Well, I decided to write a mini fanfic using my favorite fanfic Edward characters and a fictional character named Olivia. Olivia represents your typical female fanfic lover. Maybe she's you. Maybe's she's me. Whoever is she is; she just so happens to find herself stuck between Edward and a hard place. The only problem is; Olivia only sees Edward at night, in bed. You're probably thinking; WHAT? How is that a problem? Well, the thing is; she's always unconscious…
The following characters were originally adapted from Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" and recreated for the following author's personal pleasure. They are not created by me. I'm turning FanFiction on its head and doing FanFiction based on FanFiction characters.
I strongly urge you to read the following fics to get the full appreciation of my Edward character references.
Master of the Universe(Fifty) – SnowQueens Icedragon
Million Dollar Baby(Colossal Cockward) – clpsuperstar
Clipped Wings & Inked Armor(Tattward) – hunterhunting
Olivia – a fictional female character representing your typical fanfic lover
Jake – Olivia's ever-sleeping husband
Chapter 4: Edward the stripper?
I'm lying in bed watching Edward slowly sit up and swing his legs over the edge so his feet are touching the floor. His back is to me and he raises his hands up to his face to rub the sleep from his eyes. My eyes linger down his back and they're suddenly fixated on his flexing back muscles contracting as his arms tighten at his sides and his fingers rub hard circles into his face. I feel myself falling into a trance, a sleepy haze, as I appreciate his glorious physique. The center line of his back curves as his shoulders turn and his head swings around in my direction. Edward appraises my form lying barely covered by red satin sheets and nothing else, and a slow smile spreads across his face.
"Good morning baby," he mutters in a groggy tone.
My lady bits tingle when the word "baby" crosses his lips. Oh god, I get to be Edward's baby!
"Mmm…morning Edward," I practically moan and smile back, stretching my legs out and pointing my toes, all giddy like I'm literally living in heaven and I'm still alive. "Last night was…um…." Words fail me as I'm a little shy and embarrassed to openly compliment his sexual prowess. There should be no modesty left here anyway. Just thinking about the positions he had me in last night make me shutter in sheer mortification. Jeez, I had no idea I was so bendy!
"One of the best nights of my life…" he finishes my sentence. "You beguile me, Olivia."
OMG! I seriously can't believe I get to lay here this close to Fifty in his freagin' birthday suit and discuss how our wall, floor, bed, shower, sink sex was the best night of his – our life. My inner Goddess just sprang up stark naked, and sashayed across the bedroom floor like it was a catwalk, waving to the cheering crowd.
"Oh god Edward, nothing compares to last night….to you."
His smile widens as he fully turns his body and places his hands on either side of my head and lowers himself down over me, hovering, so that we're nose to nose and I feel his hot breathe fan across my face. "Baby, there's no place I'd rather be than inside you," be breathes, green eyes staring into mine. I suck in a deep, unsteady breathe as lust and love and desire mix together like a heady cocktail, making me feel punch drunk. He leans in slowly and places a soft, open mouthed kiss on my lips and I tilt my head to the side to give him better access, parting my lips; inviting his tongue. He pulls away before the kiss deepens and he smiles a wicked smile.
"I want to baby, but I have to get in the shower - early morning meeting." He smiles down at me and winks before rising up and sauntering towards the bathroom naked as a jay bird.
"Ahhh! Edward, you TEASE!" I whine to him as I cross my legs and squeeze 'em shut, attempting to put out the fire. He turns and smirks at me. Oh good grief – full frontal. I'm a lucky fucking bitch and I know it. Then, his arm reaches over to his dresser and presses a button on his iPod docking station with speakers. A slow song starts to play with speaking lyrics at the start and the sound is soothing. I watch in stunned amazement as Fifty moves his arms up in front of his chest, fisting his hands, moving to the music that's suddenly picked up in rhythm and he's now swaying his hips on beat with the drums. He watches me watch him as he rolls his hips, tipping his head back and closing his eyes as if he's lost in the music – dancing. Dancing for me? What the hell? This is unexpected and totally out of character for my Fifty, but goddamn its sexy as hell.
"Turn that off Liv!" I feel nudging at my back as I'm abruptly awakened to the sound of my alarm clock blaring in my ear and Jake nagging me to hit the snooze button. My head snaps up – shit, it's 6am. I slap the snooze button and growl at it, wishing it a slow and painful death.
SHIT! Fifty, COME BACK! The memory of Edward moving for me to that music is my undoing. I rip open the top drawer of my night stand and dig in for old faithful. Where is that fucker? Did the cleaning lady move it again? UGH! I exhale loudly, exasperated. There's no way I'm turning to Jake to relive the tension. He'll just be a distraction. Sleep eventually wears off and I realize I have to get in the shower and go to work in an hour. MutherFUCK! Real life is such a bitch. I want Fifty back. Hell, Fifty was about to become Stripperward and it was all for ME. MUTHERFUCK!
As I'm blow drying my hair I'm replaying my real-as-ever dream with Fifty, committing every detail to memory. But then the image of him dancing naked all club style, kind of like a stripper invokes an involuntary laugh as I consider the absurdity of it. Then it hits me. HA! I started a new fanfiction story last night called "The Red Line." Edward is a stripper. Hm… was Fifty morphing into Stripperward? Oh lord; what in the world does Stripperward have in store for me? I feel a pang of excitement as I picture lap dances from Edward.
I'm abruptly pulled from my fantasy as Jake comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist as I'm holding the blow dryer and round brush over my head. "Good morning pretty girl", he makes eye contact with me in the mirror as he leans down and kisses my shoulder. "Hey babe", I smile at his reflection, feeling like such a douche bag mind-cheating wife. "Call in sick today…" he presses his hips into my ass, sufficiently pressing my hip bones into the bathroom counter. A warm chill covers my neck and shoots down throughout my body as his fingers pulls at the collar of my shirt and his lips press to the back of my neck.
"Jeez, what's gotten into you Jake?" I fake laugh, puzzled by his advances at this time of the day as I'm clearly in the middle of doing my hair. It's not like I've built in leisure time in my morning routine before work.
"You've been so horny in the middle of the night babe," his voice is husky between kisses that he's now trailing up my neck, reaching my jaw. I feel the warmth between my legs as this is turning me on, despite my Edward fantasy that I was in the midst of only seconds ago. His hips press harder into my backside, which causes yummy friction between me and the counter top in just the right spot. Jake's hand slides up from my hip, grazing my breasts and clasps the front of my neck and his fingers move my chin in the direction of his face.
"What have I been doing", I question him, all breathy. His other hand moves up my front and cups my breast, squeezing lightly, and he replies; "You've been rubbing my dick in your sleep." And with that, his lips crush mine and I manage to turn to face him as he lifts me in one quick movement to sit on the counter top. He pushes my legs upon with his hands, making room for him to press into my kitty with his bulging dick underneath his black suit trousers. My fingers tangle into his short hair, and I momentarily miss Edward's – and then I'm lost. Edward. Jake. What-the-fuck-ever, I just need penetration after all these wet dreams. Good god, fanfiction has turned me into a mutherfucking hornball. And it seems like Jake likes it.
On the way into work I devour chapter two of "The Red Line" and sink my teeth further into Stripperward. Jeez, Fifty! Cockward! Tattward! And now Stripperward? My dreams are about to get even more interesting…