"Last time on Total Drama Fortress, we went inside the fortress where the contestants were made to play a little familiar game, with some pretty intense variations. It was pretty plain for some and rather shocking for others. In the end, the Braves were able to get the key, and the Brawns had to say goodbye to Ezekiel. Ha, good riddance. Who will be the next to go? Find out, on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!" Chris introduced the show.
The Valiant Braves approached the gate. "Oh, boy!" Izzy shouted, "I'm so glad that we get to open the gate! Goody!" She clapped her hands together.
"Would you like to do the honors, Bridgette?" Owen asked, smiling.
"I… I guess," Bridgette said.
(In the confessional, Bridgette said, "I know that Owen is going out of his way to be nice to me, but he must have some reason for doing so. I mean, with him and Izzy, and with Lindsay and Tyler on this team, I kind of feel like a fifth wheel.")
Bridgette opened the gate, and they walked inside, followed by the Sesquipedalian Brains, the Delicate Beauties, and the Harsh Brawns.
"Explorers, welcome to the challenge of the day. Today's challenge is an obstacle course."
"How original," Noah commented.
"Oh, it will be," Chris said, "Because Chef decided what the obstacles were going to be himself. Oh, and they're very troubling."
"Not for us," Alejandro said melodramatically, "After all we are the Harsh Brawns. We can take on any challenge."
"What about the last challenge?" Gwen asked.
"No comment," Alejandro responded.
"And need I remind you, Alexander the Greatly Inferior, that our treasure was the most valuable?" Noah added.
"Leave me alone," Alejandro said. "I don't want to deal with you right now."
"Of course not," Noah said, "You'd much rather take flack from your girlfriend."
(In the confessional, Alejandro said, "I'm sure that Noah was just jesting with irony, again. There is no way that Heather would give me flack right now… right?")
"Gwen, Noah, shut up!" Heather shouted, "This is our time to shine, and there's nothing you can do about it."
"I think that we can do something about it," Cody said, shrugging.
"Yeah, that's right!" Harold shouted, "We're going to go all the way."
"Yeah," Duncan said, "Good luck with that, losers."
(In the confessional, Harold said, "I think that I need to beat Duncan for once. It would be good for my pride, and it would be bad for his ego. I can just hear his narcissism breaking down now," then he laughed evilly, paused, and said, "I'm not insane.")
"Hey, Bridgette," Owen said, and then he hugged her. She grinned awkwardly.
"Oh, hi… Owen," she said.
"I was just going to tell you that I want to have a team party right after the challenge! You know, for ice breaking and stuff," he said, shyly.
"That's… that's sweet," Bridgette said.
(In the confessional, Bridgette said, "Owen's trying really hard to include me. I guess I should give him credit for that. But there is no way that anyone actually wants me there.")
DJ looked at the obstacle course ahead and sighed. "What's the matter, big guy?" LeShawna asked.
"Oh, it just looks really dangerous…" DJ said, pressing his fingers together.
"Relax," Trent said, "We're going to be fine. I'm sure. I have Gwen to protect me."
"Um…" Gwen said, blushing, "I'm going to protect you? Wouldn't it be the other way around?"
"Maybe if this was feudalism, girl," LeShawna said. DJ and Trent gave her a strange look. "What? Harold's contagious."
Sierra laughed uncontrollably, and Gwen had to ask what she was laughing so hard about. "Oh, nothing," she responded, wiping a tear from her eye, "I was just thinking about how hilarious it would be if Alejandro fell on his butt in this race."
"Or Heather," Gwen said, grinning, and joining in the laughter.
"Explorers! This will be a relay. Each person will complete a different leg of the obstacle course. The winning team will be the first one to completely cross the finish line. The last one to pass it faces elimination. Now, because the Brawns are down a man, someone will have to offer to compete in two legs of the race," Chris introduced.
"I will," Eva and Duncan said in unison.
"Wanna fight for it?" Duncan asked.
"I don't see why not," Eva responded. They began wrestling. In the end, Eva was victorious. Duncan grumbled. "Okay, I'm your woman."
"Alright, now, everyone reach your starting positions," Chris said. The first leg was posited by Eva, Gwen, Izzy, and Courtney; the second by LeShawna, Tyler, and Harold, with the promise of Eva traveling through it after completing the first leg; the third by Duncan, Sierra, Bridgette, and Cody; the fourth by Alejandro, DJ, Owen, and Beth; and the final leg by Heather, Trent, Lindsay, and Noah. "Ready? Go!"
Eva, Gwen, Izzy, and Courtney started running.
"Eat my dust, ladies!" Eva shouted, as she easily ran through a hoop of fire. Izzy followed immediately afterwards, jumping through it in a spectacular manner.
Gwen nervously looked at it. Courtney pushed her aside, and said, "Out of my way!" She climbed through the hoop and her pants ended up flaming. "Oh crap!" she shouted, trying to fan the flames. While she was standing there, Gwen passed through the hoop as if it was nothing special.
"Thanks for the motivation, Courtney," she said. Gwen's confidence subsided a little when she noticed Eva and Izzy were already climbing up a wall, and that the latter was already more than halfway up. She sprinted to the wall, and grabbed onto the rocks, although she was really tired by this point. By the time she reached the top, Courtney had already put the fire out and had caught up to her.
"You know I'm gonna get you, Gwen!" Courtney shouted.
Izzy and Eva had reached a ravine. "Oh, sweet!" Izzy said, "This is exactly the kind of obstacle that I love." She jumped the gap. "Come on, Eva, what are you, chicken?"
Eva looked alarmed.
(In the confessional, Eva said, "Not wanting to fall to my doom doesn't make me a chicken, does it?")
Gwen and Courtney both ran past Eva and leaped across the ravine. Just before doing so, Gwen said, "No time to talk, Eva! I've got a race to win."
Eva's eyes narrowed. "Oh, yeah, well let's just see about that." She jumped the gap, although due to her shorter legs and heavier build, she narrowly missed falling into the ravine.
Izzy tagged Tyler, who had to skip across a trail of rocks. Soon afterward, Gwen tagged LeShawna. Finally, Courtney tagged Harold.
Tyler tried to skip across the rocks but failed epically. He fell into the water, picked himself up, and started again.
LeShawna stared at the rocks, and then at her body, and then she looked very nervous. Harold said, "It's okay, LeShawna. Don't think about your weight. Pretend that you're on the moon, or some other celestial object with limited gravity."
"You always know the right thing to say," LeShawna said, smiling, pretending she was on the moon, and skipping across the rocks. Tyler, who had fallen back into the water off-screen, picked himself out of the water and spit a significant amount out.
(In the confessional, Tyler said, "I know that if I said that to LeShawna, she'd kill me! But Harold gets away with it because she likes him. Aren't girlfriends great?")
"Out of my way!" Eva shouted as she began to skip across the rocks too. Tyler was still struggling to get across the rocks when LeShawna, Harold, and Eva got to a chute.
"This chute leads to Cody!" Harold shouted, "Sweet! I'm gonna make it first!" He slid out and then LeShawna followed after but became lodged in the exit.
"MOVE!" Eva shouted, kicking LeShawna out of the way.
LeShawna, a little bit dizzy, tagged Sierra, as Harold tagged Cody. Eva tagged Duncan, who said, "Thanks," and started to race them. He turned to Bridgette and said, "I guess your guy hasn't shown up yet, hm?"
"I…I…He will," Bridgette said, "I hope."
(In the confessional, Bridgette said, "Okay, I really didn't think that Tyler was planning to sabotage me, just because I'm the only one… not… in a couple… on this team. But it was still worrying!")
Tyler fell down the chute and landed on his face. "Your turn, Bridgette," he said, tagging her.
By that point, Cody, Sierra, and Duncan had already reached the next obstacle. "Oh, boy!" Sierra said, "A swinging axe! That looks really dangerous. Oh, isn't this exciting, Cody?"
"Yeah," Cody said sarcastically, "A real thrill."
"Last one there's a stinky loser!" Duncan shouted as he did a power slide under the axe. Cody growled.
"Cody, did you remember to eat breakfast today, because…" Sierra began.
"Come on," he said, dragging Sierra by her wrist, "We can't risk Duncan beating either of us."
"But Cody," Sierra said with glimmering eyes, "We're on different teams."
"I know," Cody said, "And I'm going to stop helping you once we get ahead of Duncan." She nodded in approval, as she leaped over the axe at full force. He did the limbo under it, and was able to narrowly avoid being cut by it.
Bridgette finally reached the position, when she said, "Oh, boy…" She tried to walk by the axe, but it ended up cutting off a significant part of her ponytail. "Oh, boy…" she said again, as she finally got through the axe.
"Oh, no," Cody said, "A swinging rope."
"What's wrong, loser? You scared?" Duncan asked.
"N-No, it's just that I've never been good at this in gym class…" Cody said sheepishly. Duncan laughed his head off at Cody, which caused Sierra to knock him over. "Ow," he said, as he rubbed his head.
(In the confessional, Duncan said, "I really don't think she counts as delicate. Or a beauty for that matter.")
"It's okay, Cody," Sierra said, "We'll go together." She offered her arm to him. He ran towards the rope at full force and, screaming his head off, made it to the other side. Sierra looked dumbfounded. She shrugged, and then grabbed onto the rope and followed Cody.
Duncan finally got up, and when he did so, he ran into Bridgette who looked extremely tired and sweaty. "Hey, Bridge," Duncan said, "Took you long enough."
"I know, I know," she said, frantically. "Now I need to get across."
"Alright," Duncan said, "Fair enough. I'll meet you on the other side!" He grabbed the swinging rope and was taken to the other side, where he tried to catch up to Cody and Sierra, but by the time he got there, Cody had already tagged Beth, and Sierra had already tagged DJ. To make matters worse, when he found Alejandro, he was asleep. "Wake up!" he shouted.
"Oh, is it my turn already? My, time flies when one falls asleep," Alejandro said. Duncan was not amused, but Alejandro managed to get back in the race by the time Bridgette got to the other side.
"Owen? Owen!" Bridgette shouted.
"Oh, hey Bridgette!" Owen said, accepting her tag, "How are you?"
"I'm fine," Bridgette said. Then, looking nervous, she asked, "Why?"
"Just because I was getting worried about you. Gotta go!" Owen said. Bridgette sighed.
(In the confessional, Bridgette said, "He was 'getting worried about' me. That means I was late. How could I show my face at the party now?")
Beth and DJ were confronted with a cauldron in front of a rapidly spinning thing. "What are we supposed to do with this?" Beth asked DJ, confused.
"I think that it's supposed to be stirred," DJ said, stirring the pot. This caused the rapidly spinning thing to slow down, revealing itself to be a revolving door, which DJ walked through.
"Wait, DJ!" Beth shouted, "I'm coming too!" By the time Beth reached the door, however, it had returned to spinning rapidly.
"Oh, boy!" Owen shouted when he reached it, "Soup!"
"Do not eat the soup, Owen," Alejandro said, angrily, lifting the ladle out of the pot. A large stalactite fell from the ceiling onto Alejandro's head.
"No making the game impossible," Chris said, not amused. "Or you get punished by falling objects."
"Making the game impossible?" Alejandro asked, putting the ladle back in the pot. Beth quickly stirred it and then ran through the revolving door. Owen and Alejandro looked at that, and then started to fight over the ladle. Suddenly, Owen accidentally knocked the pot on Alejandro's head, and then the revolving door stopped.
"Oh, great," Alejandro said, covered in soup, "Now the door's broken. Thanks a lot, Owen!"
"Okay," Owen said, "We can figure this out." Owen charged through the revolving door causing it to shatter. Alejandro followed soon after, and got ahead of him, when he stopped to heal his wounds.
A vertical door was opening and closing right in front of DJ, who offered to let Beth go first. "Thanks, DJ," Beth said, as she leapt through it, although she had some trouble at first. DJ was about to go in after her, when Alejandro requested that he and Owen be granted entrance first. DJ declined, because he got there first fair and square.
(In the confessional, Alejandro said, "Getting there first fair and square? That didn't stop him from letting Beth cut.")
Beth reached Noah and tagged him. Seconds later, DJ tagged Trent. They quickly walked to an area with several platforms. Some of them were shooting off of the ground by steam periodically. Noah noticed that the next portion of the race was on a raised location. He said, "Oh. Fun."
"I don't know," Trent said, "It looks pretty easy to me."
"That's what they all say," Noah said, as he watched Trent walk onto a platform which raised him into the air.
"Whoa, this is pretty hot!" Trent said.
"Gee, you think?" Noah asked.
"How about helping your team instead of teasing me?" Trent asked.
"I got time," Noah said.
Alejandro tagged Heather, and Owen tagged Lindsay. Heather then ran to the platforms. Owen had to point Lindsay in the correct direction.
"Okay, now," Noah said, and then he started leaping over the platforms as quickly as possible, screaming. Heather leaped across with no effort whatsoever, and beat Noah to the other side. "Of course you got here before me. You live in a location hotter than this."
"I don't!" Heather protested.
"Where am I going?" Lindsay asked on the other side of the platforms.
Chris turned her the right way, not amused, and said, "That way."
"Oh," Lindsay said, laughing. Then she started to hop across the platforms.
"Now we're home free," Trent shouted. "We just have to deal with this." There was a tunnel covered in sludge that they had to go through.
"Yeah," Noah said, "We're 'home free', alright! Hey, while you're saying that, why don't you say that you 'won'?"
"Is that sludge even non-toxic?" Heather asked, terrified.
"Of course," Chris said, shrugging, "It wouldn't clear legal if it wasn't… or would it?"
"I am not going there," Noah said, "I don't care if I forfeit the race, come in last, and get voted off for being lazy again!"
"Oh, no," Heather said, "If anyone gets to not touch that, it's me."
"Umm, hello?" Trent said, "I'm not thrilled about it either!"
"No forfeiting, Noah. And the rest of you have to go through the tunnel too," Chris said, crossing his arms.
"Ugh, fine," Heather said, crawling through the sludge. "That is so gross!" she said, sputtering.
"Well, at least it's been proven non-lethal," Trent said, sliding through it.
"True," Noah said, shrugging. He held his nose and traveled through the tunnel.
Lindsay finally made it across the platforms, when Chris told her, "Your team's at a bit of a disadvantage now."
"Oh," she said, and then she saw the tunnel. "Is that my tunnel?"
"Yes," Chris said.
"Like, okay," Lindsay said, and then she crawled through it without a second thought until she got out and saw how messy she was. "Oh, no!" she shouted.
"Yes," Trent said, "The key is in my sights!" He grabbed the key, causing Heather to complain. Noah nonchalantly walked to the finish when he realized there was no way for Lindsay to catch up to him in time.
"Okay, so the Delicate Beauties win! Unfortunately for the Valiant Braves, they have to say goodbye to someone today," Chris said.
"Oh, well," Owen said, "We did our best."
"That's right," Izzy said. Bridgette looked upset.
"Like we said, before the elimination, let's have one last party together," Owen said. "Meet you near the entrance of this room!"
Chris looked at his watch. Owen, Izzy, Tyler, and Lindsay were all sitting around, waiting for Bridgette. "Okay, guys, we don't have all day for you to pick someone to eliminate."
Owen sadly said, "She didn't come."
"Oh, look on the bright side, Owen!" Izzy said, "Now we don't have to play rock paper scissors to see who to eliminate!"
"Eliminate Bridgette?" Owen asked, frowning, "But she was just barely becoming a member of our group as it was!"
"It's clear that she wanted better things," Tyler said, "I say we eliminate her."
"Listen to your heart, Owen," Izzy said, "Bridgette crushed it."
"I… I guess…" Owen said, still frowning.
They met in the elimination chamber. Izzy and Tyler were glaring at Bridgette. Owen looked very disappointed. Bridgette shied away sheepishly. "Okay, guys," Chris said, "Remember that whoever doesn't get a bag of pyrite has to fall down the Trap of Shame. And the pyrite goes to Izzy, Owen, Lindsay and… Tyler."
Bridgette looked disappointed. "I knew it. I knew it," she said, crying.
"Bridgette," Owen said, "I didn't vote for you!"
"You… you didn't?" Bridgette asked, "But I'm the fifth wheel."
"Nonsense! This isn't a double date! It's a team. That's why I was so sad you didn't come to my party…" Owen said.
"Sad?" Bridgette asked, "I thought you were only inviting me to be nice!"
"It's never only that," Owen protested, but before they could have more of their heartwarming moment, Bridgette fell down the Trap of Shame.
"So… you voted for me?" Tyler asked, offended.
"Umm, sorry!" Owen said, sheepishly.
"Will Tyler forgive Owen for his little faux pas? Will the Say-Squish-a-Nail-in Brains actually get a rank that matters? Will Heather, Noah, or Lindsay ever be able to wash the sludge out of their hair? Find out the answers to some of these questions, next time on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!"
Author's Note: By the way, Trent isn't mentioned because his hair is too short for Chris to find it a cumbersome task. By this point, Heather's hair has grown out to a length at least comparable to Noah's.