Chris introduced the show, "Last time on Total Drama Fortress, our explorers had to brave a series of obstacles to reach the keys. Things got a little heated, and we narrowly avoided a messy forfeiture from three of our teams. The Beauties took the key for the day, but the Braves had to say goodbye to Bridgette. Man, she really should have gone to Owen's party." He laughed. "Who will go next time? Find out, on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!"

Trent held the key. He handed it to Gwen. "You open it," he said. She smiled. So did LeShawna.

(In the confessional, LeShawna said, "Spit it out, girl! I know you're dying to!")

Gwen opened the door, and walked through it, followed by Trent, LeShawna, Sierra, and DJ. Then the Sesquipedalian Brains walked in, followed by the Harsh Brawns, and finally the Valiant Braves. Owen was visibly sniffling.

"It's okay, Owen," Izzy said, "We all have to say goodbye to someone at some point."

"I just… miss her so much!" Owen said, wiping his nose on his arm.

Lindsay gave him a hug, and said, "There, there, it's alright."

This display of affection was immediately juxtaposed by the Sesquipedalian Brains.

"Noah," Courtney said, holding her nose, "You smell like crap."

"Gee, you think?" Noah asked, clearly annoyed.

"Yeah, Courtney," Cody said, "Give him a break. He did what I'm sure you never would have done."

"Well," Courtney said, putting up her nose, "It's not dignified."

"You think I wanted to do it? Earth to Courtney; I had no choice!" Noah shouted. "And if I didn't, I wouldn't still be here, so our team would be more likely to fall for your guise of intelligence."

(In the confessional, Courtney said, "Guise? GUISE! The nerve of that Noah… oh, he is so going to get eliminated!")

"Explorers!" Chris shouted, "Meet me in the center of the room." They did. "Okay, now the challenge today will require you to find the key, using one of these sets of instructions or maps. Braves, you get a map with no indication of where the hazards are. Beauties, you get a set of instructions with no way of telling whether or not you've reached the place you're supposed to turn at. Brawns, you get a map with hazards listed but without any walls drawn. And Brains… well, you guys get these instructions and this scrambled map, which may give you some… hmm… contradictory information."

"Oh, sweet! A test of insight," Harold said, "We are so going to win this one!"

"I call Murphy's Law," Noah said.

"Gosh," Harold said, "I guess you're right… I mean, we're definitely not going to win this one. Gosh, I sure hope we lose!"

Trent prepared his team. "Okay, so we have these instructions," he said. "DJ, it's your job to check for dead-ends. LeShawna, you look out for hazards. Sierra, it's your job to spot the key."

DJ said, "But checking for dead-ends is so much work, can't I have someone else to help me?"

"Of course," Trent said, "Gwen and I will work together to try to find the right path." He held her against himself. Gwen blushed.

(In the confessional, Trent said, "Things are gonna change, I can feel it. I'm getting her back.")

"Okay," Izzy said, "Now we don't have any idea where the hazards are! Fun!"

"Umm…" Tyler said, "I don't know if that's actually fun…"

"Like, don't worry!" Lindsay said, "I know these guys will get us out safely."

"You know," Tyler said, "I guess I can trust that."

(In the confessional, Tyler said, "Izzy and Owen have some sort of hazard immunity. But I don't. I'm sure I'm going to accidentally set one off and then get eliminated.")

"No walls?" Duncan asked, "I guess we can just walk through them then."

"It's simple," Alejandro said, "These hazards are all near the wall. Notice how they form a linear pattern right there."

"Okay," Eva said, pointing out a flaw, "Then how do you explain this abrupt turn in the map with the hazard directly to the right of one facing another direction?"

"Okay, so maybe they are the middle of the hall, and we should avoid that and hug the wall," Alejandro said, "Come along, my comrades."

Heather followed, and Duncan and Eva did so as well, begrudgingly.

(In the confessional, Eva said, "Nothing's worse than a Justin clone who thinks he's Noah. Dumb Alejandro barely even thinks anything through, and just hopes we won't notice. But I notice.")

"Okay," Noah said, "We follow the map."

"Why?" Courtney asked, "It's all mixed up!"

"Yeah, it's scrambled. It wouldn't be scrambled if the information was wrong anyway. Besides, what would be the point of giving us instructions that were perfect?" Noah asked.

"I don't know, maybe to trick us!" Courtney said, "We have to think of everything."

"Like how we would easily be tricked if we just assumed that the instructions were correct? Honestly, Courtney, just because you've gotten farther than I have in the past doesn't make me dumber than you!" Noah retorted.

"But who has more experience in the field, Noah?" Courtney asked, frowning. Harold, Cody, and Beth all frowned.

"Okay," Noah said, "Let's put it to a vote. All for my plan?" Cody and Beth raised their hands proudly, and then Harold tentatively followed suit. "Very well."

(In the confessional, Courtney said, "I can't believe it! They picked his plan over mine! Unanimously! Why? I'm the one with credentials!")

Trent and Gwen were following a path, and the latter was marking their progress with a pencil. "How's it going, DJ?" Trent asked, "DJ?" They looked down a side path that he had gone into a while back, and saw LeShawna running out screaming.

"What's wrong, LeShawna?" Gwen asked worriedly, "What happened?"

"It's DJ, he fell in a pitfall!" LeShawna said.

"Is he okay?" Trent asked.

"I don't know," LeShawna said, "Let's go look for him."

"I'll keep following your path," Sierra said, "May I have your pencil?"

"Okay," Gwen said, handing it over.

"Thank you," Sierra said, as she continued to walk the path.

(In the confessional, Gwen said, "Okay, so when Sierra is separated from Cody, she's actually sane. I should remember that.")

"Okay, Alejandro," Eva said, "There are pitfalls over here. So why don't you go into one of them?"

"Silly Eva," Alejandro said, touching her cheek again, "This is about winning, not losing." Heather looked astonished.

(In the confessional, Heather said, "Alejandro is resorting to flirting with Eva! I can't believe how low he's gone!")

Eva punched him. "Don't patronize me!" she shouted. "I was telling you to buzz off!"

"Buzz off?" Alejandro asked, "Me? How about we win, and then no one will have to buzz off."

"So, Eva," Heather said, "Alejandro seems pretty into you."

"Please," Eva said, "He's not into me. He's just trying to get me to fall for him. But it's not gonna work!"

"Good," Heather said, "Because I don't want the only other girl on my team falling for…"

"The same guy you did?" Eva finished. Heather blushed.

Tyler was walking very tentatively through the hallway, but unfortunately that didn't stop him from falling in a pitfall. He screamed. Lindsay heard him, and looked around, alarmed. "Tyler?" she asked.

"I'm okay, Lindsay!" he said. She looked down to see him at the bottom.

"Tyler, I'll get you out of there!" she shouted, and then dove in after him.

"Guys," Izzy said, looking impatient, "I ain't got all day!" She picked up a random rope, and handed it down to them. Lindsay and Tyler were able to escape the pitfall.

"Izzy," Tyler asked, "Where'd you get that rope?"

"The rope… uhm… umm… I don't really remember!" she said, shrugging.

"Come on, guys!" Owen shouted, "I've almost found the key!"

"Okay," Izzy said, "That's great! Come on, everyone! Follow Owen!"

(In the confessional, Tyler said, "Okay, it doesn't seem like my team is that mad at me! But who knows what would happen if we lost again?")

"The map is methodically arranged," Noah said, "I figured out the pattern and was able to make a new map on the back."

"How do you know you did it right?" Courtney asked, expecting a blank stare.

"Do you see a flaw?" he asked, giving it to her to look at.

"Well, look, see here you have a hazard that looks very out of place," she said, pointing to the same one Eva had pointed to earlier.

"Okay," Noah said, "Would you care to go there and test if the hazard is just part of my stupid unthinking plan that totally doesn't work at all?"

(In the confessional, Harold said, "Gosh! This is an argument between the valedictorian and the 99th percentile standardized-test-taker! It's like watching God trying to argue with Zeus!")

"Guys," Cody said, "If you could quit arguing for just a minute, we wouldn't be losing." He pointed to the three teams who all passed them by.

"We're losing!" Courtney said, "So your plans aren't working."

"Is that it, Courtney? Then why are we making progress with them?" Noah asked, offended.

"No time to argue!" Cody said, grabbing the map, "We have to follow this and finish."

Cody grabbed Noah and Beth's arms, and told Harold and Courtney to follow suit. Harold obliged, but Courtney didn't, until Harold pulled her along.

Cody ran through the hallways on Noah's map, avoiding every single hazard.

"My map made Cody hazard-proof, Courtney!" Noah said smugly.

"That doesn't matter!" Courtney shouted, "We're still losing."

(In the confessional, Courtney said, "I can't believe Noah's being such an insufferable genius! I'm sure the rest of my team is sick of him too. After all, my plans were completely superior.")

"Oh, hi, Cody!" Sierra said, waving to him in the hallway.

"Can't talk, Sierra, we have a race to win," Cody said.

Sierra smiled at him and said, "Okay, go ahead and win the race… wait…" She got a competitive look in her eyes, and said, "Not if I get there first!"

Trent, Gwen, and LeShawna were trailing behind, following the pencil line Sierra had left for them. DJ was following too, although he was limping, shouting "Ow," repeatedly, and he looked as though he had been cramped.

"Come on," Sierra shouted, "Are we gonna let those brainiacs beat us?"

"No, of course not," LeShawna said, "Regardless of how cute some of them are."

"OMG, INO!" Sierra shouted.

Trent and Gwen picked up the pace too. Unfortunately, DJ was having trouble doing so. That was only hindered when Owen accidentally knocked him over. He turned around and said, "Sorry, DJ."

"It's fine," DJ responded, obviously in pain.

"Let's get the key!" Izzy shouted, following Owen, and clinging to his shoulders.

"Wait for me!" Tyler shouted, before he tripped over himself. Lindsay looked concerned and picked him up.

"Race you to the key, Eva!" Duncan shouted.

"I'm gonna get there first!" she said.

"Oh, really?" Duncan asked.

"There is no time for racing with each other!" Alejandro shouted, "We have to make sure not to lose to the other teams."

"Alright, alright," Heather said, "Let's go!"

All four teams had reached what the ending was supposed to be.

"What?" Sierra asked upon seeing a blank pedestal. "Where's the key?"

"It's in the room," Noah said, "That might mean that it's literally in a wall."

"Or it could mean you were wrong!" Courtney commented. "And…and… everyone else was misled the same way…"

"I like Noah's idea better," Beth said, as she began to scan the wall for a key.

"Thank you, Beth," Noah said. Cody helped scan the wall, as did Harold.

"No good," Harold said, "I don't see any protrusions."

"I do," Eva said, punching the wall. She reached out an item from the wall. It said, Second Place Decoy. "Oh, crap…"

"Don't worry," Heather said, "Second place is safe from elimination."

"Keep scanning," Noah said, "It's obvious that my plan was in fact, right all along."

"Well, maybe you should help!" Courtney said, pushing him in.

"Noah's helped all day," Cody said, "What have you done for us, Courtney? Maybe you should help us scan."

"I found it! I found it!" Izzy shouted. Then she looked at the key, and it said Third Place Decoy. "Oops. I guess I found the wrong one!"

"It's okay," Owen said, "We all make mistakes. Besides, we're safe from elimination! YES!"

"Okay, now or never!" Cody said, still frantically scanning for the object.

Noah whispered to him, "Maybe we should scan the floor."

"Or the ceiling!" Harold said, looking up. "GOSH! Unfair!"

"Umm, yeah," Chris said, as he looked in on them in the key room. "Have we met?"

"Quickly," Noah said, "Hoist me on your shoulders before DJ gets the key…"

Harold was about to oblige the request, but it was too late. DJ looked up and stood on his tiptoes, digging the key out of the ceiling. "Alright!" he shouted, "We win again!"

"Of course we did," Trent said, "We have Gwen on our team."

"Oh, please," Gwen said, "I'm not a win magnet."

"Actually, given your track record, you kind of are," Sierra said. "You were always on the team that won the most."

"Yeah, but so was Heather," Gwen said, "And her team lost first this time!"

"Which means you must be the lucky charm," Trent said smiling at her.

"Okay, so the Beauties win! Unfortunately for the Cesspool Italian Brains…" Chris began.

"It's not that hard to say! Gosh!" Harold said.

"They have to pick someone to vote off today. See you in the elimination."

The votes were cast.

(In the confessional, each vote was shown. "Courtney," Cody said, "She's giving us all a hard time."

"Courtney," Harold said, "She put us greatly behind."

"Courtney," Beth chose, "There's no excuse for being that conceited!"

Noah shouted, "Courtney, Courtney, COURTNEY! Erm, that should only count once."

"I vote for Noah!" Courtney said, "And I have no problem believing that everyone else did the same.")

"Okay," Chris said, "Today, you're going to receive your bags of pyrite except for one of you. And the bags go to Cody, Beth, Harold, and… Noah. Congratulations."

"Yes!" Noah shouted, "First safety symbol ever."

Courtney was aghast. "What!" she asked, "What? You guys picked Noah over me! But he was insufferable."

"Hi, Pot, my name is Kettle. Nice to meet you," Noah said, offering his handshake ironically.

"I don't need your condescending," Courtney said, narrowing her eyes. "Okay, someone must have switched the votes! Right?"

"Umm," Cody said.

"Err," Harold said.

"Ehhh," Beth said.

"Sayonara, wannabe," Noah said, flicking his wrist in her general direction.

"It's in my contract that I can't lose this early, right?" Courtney asked.

Chris responded, "Nope. I don't know where you'd get that idea from! Time to fall down the Trap of Shame."

"DIE, CHRIS!" Courtney shouted out as she fell down. Noah and Cody looked visibly concerned as she fell, even wincing when she landed.

"Will the Delicate Beauties keep up their winning streak? Will we say goodbye to someone on that team? And seriously, is this fortress awesome or what? Find out next time on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!"