"Last time on Total Drama Fortress, the challenge got a little physical, as our explorers competed in a no-rules battle tournament. The Delicate Beauties got the win again; but the Harsh Brawns lost due to one player choosing to fight members of her own team instead of her opponents. We're looking at you, Eva. And finally, the Saskatchewanian Brains formed a secret alliance against Alejandro. What will happen next? Find out, on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!"
LeShawna handed the key to Gwen and Trent. "Let's see the happy couple open the door together, shall we?" she asked. Trent nodded, and helped guide Gwen's hand with the key to the door, as they opened it up.
(In the confessional, Duncan said, "It's… it's gonna go up in flames! I know it is!")
The Delicate Beauties entered the room; first Gwen and Trent, then LeShawna, DJ, and Sierra. The Valiant Braves were next, then the Sesquipedalian Brains, and finally the Harsh Brawns.
"I can't believe we only have three people left!" Heather complained.
"Don't worry," Alejandro said, "The three of us are better than any of those other teams."
"Yeah," Duncan said, "Especially the Brains!"
"I beat you!" Harold retorted. He turned around and started spanking himself repeatedly shouting out, "I win fights with Duncan! I win fights with Duncan!" in conga rhythm.
"Hey, quit bragging!" Cody said, "I won too."
"No," Harold corrected, "Your opponent forfeited. But me? I win fights with Duncan! I win fights with Duncan!"
"Guys, I'm sorry I was unable to win due to being, you know, unconscious!" Noah said indignantly.
"I don't hold it against you, Noah," Cody said, "I really don't."
"I know," Noah said. "It was Alejandro's fault anyway."
Harold continued to boast to Duncan, who slunk away.
(In the confessional, Duncan said, "I'm never gonna live it down. Never.")
"Hey, how you holding up buddy?" Izzy asked.
"Just peachy, Izzy," Noah said, "Don't worry."
"Oh," Izzy said, "I'm not worried, but Owen is."
"Well, tell him not to worry then," Noah said, "Remember that we're on different teams this year."
"That didn't stop Eva," Izzy said. This struck a nerve with Noah, which was apparent from his frozen stance and widened eyes.
"You going to be in on my anti-Alejandro alliance?" he asked her.
"Of course," she said shrugging, "That guy's gotta go!"
Alejandro overheard them talking. His eyes widened.
(In the confessional, Alejandro said, "Anti-me alliance? Suddenly that 'I have a posse' statement means something… but not to worry; it will work in my favor in the end. I'll just get some gullible people to vote off Noah again.")
Chris gathered the contestants and said, "Okay, explorers! You all know just how much fun races can be."
"A boatload of entertainment for anyone without a frontal lobe!" Noah delivered in deadpan, which got Harold, Cody, and Beth to laugh.
Chris was not amused. He took control of the situation again and said, "But what if the floor moved?"
"Why do I not like where this is going?" Duncan asked, his eyes widening.
"Today's challenge will be a moving floor race," Chris said. "The key room is right in the center of the intersection of these paths. Beauties, yours rises and falls and is that one right there. Brawns, yours is over there, it's the one that moves backwards. Brains, you gotta figure out how to proceed across these complicated paths, and Braves," he laughed, "You guys have to brave the Path of Cacophony." He pointed to a path that was moving completely randomly. There was no structure at all. Tyler gulped.
(In the confessional. Tyler said, "Why did it have to be difficult footing? Why did it have to be difficult footing!")
"The winner will be the first team to make it to the finish with all of the players. Ones who show up earlier may choose to go back for them or wait for them," Chris said, "On your mark, get set, go!"
Duncan, Heather, and Alejandro attempted to run across the backwards-running path. Heather made a tiny bit of progress, but Alejandro and Duncan didn't make any. The former of the two was in fact, going backwards all the time. "Come on, boys," Heather said, "We're not going to lose just because Chris made this hard."
"More like impossible," Duncan whined, "How the heck are you getting ahead anyway?"
"Easy!" Heather said, "Sprint!"
"Sprint? Are you crazy?" Alejandro asked, "This race is way too long to sprint!"
"There are some parts of the floor that aren't moving," Heather said, "We can use those for resting periods, now sprint!"
They did, and they reached the first checkpoint. Alejandro said, "I'm sorry I called you crazy, my dear."
"It's… It's fine," Heather said, blushing.
(In the confessional, Alejandro said. "Heather… she's an enigma. A delightful enigma made of pure strategy.")
"What should we do, Professor?" Beth asked Noah.
"Professor?" Noah asked, disbelieving the title.
"Yeah, how are we going to get out of this one, Professor?" Cody chimed in.
"It wouldn't hurt to have trial and error; by the way, the first beneficial one is on the left."
Harold said, "Thanks, Professor," saluting him, and then heading across the path. Beth, Cody, and Noah followed him.
"Oh, great," Beth said, "They're not even moving," once they reached the next platform.
"Not to worry," Harold said, "I see a lever. I should pull it." He pulled the lever. They both started moving.
"Should we try right this time?" Cody asked.
"No," Noah said, "See the pattern?" pointing to a pattern on top of the right floor.
"Yeah," Cody responded.
"It's clearer here than on the other one. The other one's moving faster. Let's go on that one."
"Whatever you say, Professor!" Beth shouted, and then they moved across that one.
(In the confessional Beth said, "Don't get me wrong. This team doesn't need a designated tactician. But why mess with a good thing?")
DJ looked at the sloping floors and gulped. "Don't worry, DJ," Sierra said, "This is clearly the easiest one."
"I know, but still," DJ said, "There's a lot of pressure to keep this team together by the end."
"Just jump aboard," LeShawna said, "There'll be time to panic later."
Gwen and Trent hopped on a platform that did not seem very dangerous. It shot up into the air extremely quickly, causing both of their hair to stand on end. Gwen and Trent screamed and held each other tightly as they rose and fell.
"This one's the one we need," LeShawna said, pointing to a platform that rose to a higher floor. "Come on everyone." DJ and Sierra followed suit.
"We'll catch up," a bewildered Gwen and Trent said in unison.
Izzy leapt onto the floor with no hesitation. "Come on, guys!" she shouted, "The floor is fine." Izzy was able to somehow figure out how the floor moved and use that to her advantage. This gave Lindsay the confidence to board.
"I'm coming too, Ozzy!" she shouted, following Izzy onto the floor. She was a little bit freaked out at first, but soon had gotten used to it. The boys were still waiting at the end. Owen was slightly nervous about boarding the floor.
"Okay, here goes nothing," he said, and then he took a deep breath and walked onto the floor. "Well, come on, Tyler," he said, "We don't have all day." He tripped and planted his face to the ground. Tyler gulped again.
(In the confessional, Tyler said, "And that's when I knew I was doomed.")
Tyler eventually decided to brave the floor, only to have it completely change directions on him as soon as he got on, causing him to trip.
"Hurry up, boys!" Heather shouted as she approached the finish line. "We don't want to lose again."
"We're coming as fast as we can, *bleep*!" Duncan shouted out. Alejandro looked mortified, and slapped Duncan.
"How dare you speak to a lady like that?" Alejandro asked indignantly.
"I'm sorry," Duncan said, "I thought I was speaking to Heather like that."
"I have no more time for your ungentlemanly ways," Alejandro said, and then he began to sprint away from Duncan, "See you at the finish line!" The second line was absolutely dripping with disdain.
Heather reached the finish line first. Chris looked surprised, "You got here before the Beauties. Nice. Too bad you don't have your other two."
"Oh, they're coming," Heather said, "And if they don't I am so voting off Duncan."
(In the confessional, Heather said, "What? He called me a… well, you know, that thing they called me in season one! I'm better! Believe me!")
"Alright," Izzy said, "I can see the finish line. Come on guys!"
"We're right behind you, Izzy!" Owen shouted.
"Like, yeah!" Lindsay responded.
Owen, Izzy, and Lindsay all crossed the finish line before anyone else did. "Sweet!" Izzy shouted, "Do we win?"
"We might!" Owen shouted excitedly.
"No," Chris responded, "Where's Tyler?"
"Tyler?" Lindsay asked confusedly. Then, after a moment, she said, "Oh, no! Where's Tyler?"
"That's what I asked," Chris responded.
"Well," Owen said, "Don't worry, I'm sure he's coming…"
Nearing the end of the path, the three darker-skinned Delicate Beauties were having a conversation about Gwen and Trent.
"Do you think they're okay, LeShawna?" DJ asked worriedly, "They said they'd catch up but I haven't seen them…"
"I wouldn't worry about it," LeShawna said, "They probably just got distracted and started making out somewhere."
"But wouldn't that cost us the win?" Sierra asked.
"You don't get it, girl," LeShawna responded, "True love trumps winning."
"Oh, I totally agree!" Sierra shouted.
(In the confessional, Sierra said, "I would definitely throw the game for Cody if he wanted me to. But, shh… I won't tell him that because then who knows what he'd do?")
DJ, Sierra, and LeShawna reached the finish line. "So…Beauties!" Chris said, "Where are Snow White and Prince Charming?"
"They said they were gonna catch up later," LeShawna responded, "And frankly, I'll give them that."
"I just hope nothing happened to them…" DJ fretted.
"Relax," Sierra answered, "I'm sure they'll be fine."
The Sesquipedalian Brains were likewise reaching the end of the line. "Alright!" Harold shouted, "I see the finish line!"
"Quickly, Professor," Beth said, "What do we do?"
"I would avoid the path with all those ominous black pointers on it," Noah said, pointing to the path that looked like it was booby-trapped, with small black objects on each side pointing inward as though they were planning to shoot darts, lasers, or some other hazard at the contestants' ankles. Meanwhile, the other one looked slower but had no trace of such objects.
"Okay," Cody said, "That makes sense. Come on, let's go on this one!" Cody, Beth, Harold, and Noah passed the finish line with relative ease.
"Brains," Chris said, "Where's Courtney?"
"Eliminated," Harold said, shrugging.
"Okay, then, I guess you're all here!" Chris said, "Congratulations! The Sis Creek Mammalian Brains win!"
"Chris," Cody said, "Do you take pride in getting our name completely and utterly wrong?"
"Absolutely," Chris responded, smiling.
"Where is Duncan? He must have distracted Alejandro," Heather complained, "It's the only excuse they have for taking so long."
"Did somebody say Alejandro?" Alejandro asked, as he appeared right next to Heather.
"Sorry we're not as light on our feet as you are, Heather," Duncan said sarcastically.
"Yes, it is a shame," Alejandro said completely seriously.
"Well, because you guys took so long, we lost to the nerds!" Heather said. "Again!"
"Oh, no…" Duncan muttered.
"Oh, yes!" Harold shouted. "Suck it, Duncan!"
"Where's Tyler?" Owen asked.
"Tyler!" Lindsay cried out worriedly, "Tyler!"
Tyler was still well behind the finish line, because he kept tripping every ten seconds.
"Tyler, if you don't come soon, we're gonna have to eliminate you!" Izzy warned. Lindsay looked at her angrily.
"You wouldn't," she said.
"I would," Izzy said, "If we lose it's his fault. Right, Owen?"
"Right," Owen said, "I just hope he's okay."
Gwen and Trent showed up to the finish line "Sorry we're late guys," Gwen said. "We just had some trouble recovering."
"Mm-hmm," LeShawna said, "Sure."
"It doesn't matter, guys," Sierra said, "Cody's team won already, but you guys saved us from elimination!"
"Okay," Trent said, "That's good."
(In the confessional, Trent said, "If we had lost, I would have been voted off for sure, and then where would Gwen and I be? And to make matters worse, Duncan would still be in the competition. Oh, I… I just can't think about it.")
"Okay," Chris said, "The Valiant Braves have to eliminate someone. Meet me in the elimination room."
"Wait!" Lindsay shouted, "What about Tyler?"
"What about him? He's late," Chris said, "And I don't have all day to wait for him."
Tyler finally arrived at the finish line, all banged up. "Sorry… it… took…me…so…long…guys," he said, breathing heavily. Izzy was displeased with him, looking very angry. Owen rather looked disappointed, and Lindsay, worried, put a hand over her mouth. "What's wrong, Izzy?" Tyler asked, bracing himself in case she exploded.
"What's wrong?" she asked, "We almost won."
"Yeah," Owen said, "But we shouldn't blame Tyler for that, right?"
"Yeah!" Lindsay defended, "It's not his fault that he trips all the time!" Tyler looked sheepish. "And, hey, we have reasons to vote each other off too, right?"
Izzy and Owen could not respond to this question. Tyler looked very ashamed. "It's okay, guys," he said, "I deserve it."
Lindsay walked up to him and said, "You don't deserve it, Tyler! I won't vote for you, I promise."
"Really?" Tyler asked, "Thanks Lin." The two shared a kiss.
"I said, "I don't have all day," Chris said exasperatedly.
"Oh, sorry," Lindsay said, breaking the kiss and blushing.
The Valiant Braves met in the elimination room. "Okay," Chris said, "I have bags of pyrite for three of you. The other one is going home. And the bags go to Owen, Lindsay and… Izzy!"
Tyler looked dejected as he walked onto the Trap of Shame. "Sorry I let you down, guys," he said.
"It's okay, Tyler!" Lindsay shouted, "I still love you!"
"I love you too!" Tyler responded as the Trap of Shame opened. Lindsay gasped in worry.
"Will Lindsay be able to continue the competition without Tyler? Is Noah's "professor" nickname going to stick? Will Duncan ever live down losing to Harold? Find out next time on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!"