"Last time on Total Drama Fortress, our explorers had to unlock the key… to unlock the key… With tools and instructions of varying complexity, each team had to independently figure out a box. Due to Tyler's earlier departure, Beth was too busy consoling Lindsay to help her team out. And I wish I could say that them coming in last place was the worst thing that happened, but Cody had to go and yell at the team's tactician, which only made the loss that much more painful. In the end, Beth had to leave; but who will leave in today? Find out, on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!" Chris introduced the show.
"Lindsay," Owen offered, "Why don't you open the door?"
"Yeah," Izzy said, "So what if you didn't help much? You're still cool."
"Like, okay," Lindsay responded, taking the key from Owen, and attempting to unlock the door. She then looked helplessly at her teammates.
"Okay, fine," Izzy said, and then she turned the key with her teeth. "Hands are so ten years ago."
"I like, totally know what you mean!" Lindsay chimed in.
(In the confessional, Lindsay said, "Hands are ten years ago. And before that, it was feet that were popular! Now, it's all about the mouth!")
Chef Hatchet was standing in the middle of the room, wearing a pyramid on his head, and holding a spear. Chris popped up in front of him and said, "Hello, explorers! Welcome to today's challenge! You need to build a pyramid with these blocks right here." He pointed to a pile of blocks that all had one of the following numbers written on them: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 16, or 25. "The pyramid has to have a four-block square on top, and must be five layers high. The top layer will be one, and the bottom will be the fifth number in your assigned sequence."
"Assigned number sequences?" Harold asked, "That sounds awesome! You're not giving us a ridiculously easy one, are you?"
"It's not easy," Chris responded, "Because no matter what pattern you get, you get prodded for any wrong move. And I mean any wrong move. The wrong number, the wrong amount of blocks in a layer, accidentally nudging it and knocking it over, Cody and Trent, and even just picking up the wrong block."
"Prodded?" Trent asked, "What do you mean?"
Chef Hatchet demonstrated by poking the spear into Trent's rear. "Ow!" he said, and then he rubbed the sore spot.
"Okay, I'm going to assign you guys' number patterns," Chris said, "Braves… you guys get odd numbers."
"Odd?" Izzy asked, "Oh, don't worry guys! I can do this perfectly well!"
"Sweet!" Owen said, "Those are easy."
"Umm…" Lindsay said, and then she sheepishly kicked around.
(In the confessional, Lindsay said, "I hope Ilsa knows what she's doing, because I sure don't.")
"Brawns, you have squares," Chris said, and then he laughed when he saw Duncan's face. "Because you are squares, get it?"
"That's not funny," Duncan said, "I am not square."
"Your face would beg to differ, Frankenstein's Adam," Noah said.
"Says the dork with a skull the size of a skyscraper," Duncan retorted.
"Oh, wow, did you just insinuate that my head needed that much room? Thank you," Noah said.
"What? Hey, that wasn't a compliment, dork!" Duncan complained.
"Haha!" Harold laughed, "You just got beat in an insult war by a nerd!"
"No, he didn't!" Noah insisted, "He got beaten."
"Touché," Harold said.
"Brains! Since you guys seem eager to continue, I'll give you your pattern. It's the Fibonacci sequence," Chris said.
"Oh boy!" Harold shouted, "I love the Fibby!"
"The… Fibby?" Cody asked, giving him an odd look.
"We'll be just fine, guys," Harold said.
"That's what you thought last time we lost… and the time before that…" Noah noted. This caused Cody to freak out slightly. Noah turned his head and asked, "Cody, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Cody said, "It's just that I've never been on a team that was this behind before… and, well, what I've learned from my advantages is that they don't stop."
"And Beauties, you guys get powers of two," Chris said, "Now begin! Remember, build backwards."
"Okay," LeShawna said, "We need to have someone volunteer to gather the blocks."
"I'll do it!" Sierra shouted eagerly.
"Alright," LeShawna responded.
(In the confessional, Sierra said, "I just had to pick gathering blocks. Who knows? Maybe Cody will too, and then we could reach for one at the same time, and end up touching hands. Oh, it would be amazingly romantic.")
(In the confessional, Cody said, "There is no way that I'm volunteering for this task. Although meeting with Gwen would be nice, there's almost no chance she would volunteer before Sierra.")
"Okay, which of us should gather the blocks?" Harold asked.
"I'll do it," Noah said, "Then you can build your Fibonacci pyramid just like you want to."
Cody said, "Okay, I hope that nothing terrible happens."
"What terrible thing could happen when I was over here?" Noah asked incredulously, "Being prodded with a spear in the butt? Worse things happen at my family reunions."
"Okay," Cody said, "I just don't want us to lose."
"We will not lose!" Harold shouted, "We've got this!"
(In the confessional, Harold said, "The Fibonacci numbers are like, my calling, or something! I've memorized 50 of them, and I can recite them for you ri…")
"I'll go get the blocks!" Lindsay offered, "What do I need?"
"Four ones, nine threes, sixteen fives, twenty-five sevens, and thirty-six nines!" Izzy responded. "It's not brain surgery."
"Umm…" Lindsay said, biting her lip, "Like, okay?"
"Don't worry," Izzy said, "Noah's up there. He'll help you if you get confused."
"Okay!" Lindsay said, confidently.
(In the confessional, Izzy said, "I love being on a team where no one questions anything I do! It's a really welcome change!")
"I'll go gather the blocks," Heather offered.
"But Heather, wouldn't you rather sit here while I gathered the blocks?" Alejandro counter-offered.
"Not really," Heather responded, and then she got up to grab the blocks. Alejandro sighed, lovesick.
(In the confessional, Alejandro said, "There's nothing a chivalrous gentlemen loves more than a woman who is willing to refuse the chivalry.")
Lindsay looked at the pile of blocks nervously. Noah said to her, "Thirty-six nines, twenty-five sevens, sixteen fives, nine threes, and four ones."
"What are you looking for, Noah?" she asked.
"I'm looking for thirty-six fives, twenty-five threes, sixteen twos, and thirteen ones," he responded. "Oh, here they are." He started picking up all the five-blocks he could find and tossing them at his team.
"Thanks!" Harold shouted, as he began to build the pyramid.
Sierra started picking up her blocks as well, and tossing them at a much faster speed than Noah did. This was due to her larger muscle mass, better aim, and more practice.
"Duncan!" Heather shouted, "Catch!" She tossed eight pieces at once in his direction, and they all landed in a pyramid on top of him. Unfortunately, the pyramid had many, many flaws. Chef Hatchet began to poke Heather in the butt with the spear and continued to do so repeatedly until every single flaw had been accounted for. Sierra, Noah, and Lindsay couldn't help but laugh at her misery, but Alejandro decided to step in.
"Heather, go help Duncan build the pyramid," he said, "I will continue to toss blocks at you."
Lindsay had by this point found most of the blocks she was supposed to, but was at a loss as to how to carry them all back, so she began to toss them towards Izzy haphazardly, and completely out of order. The redhead did not mind, however, and just thought that Lindsay was making the challenge harder for fun.
Lindsay and Alejandro, likewise, had much faster pitches than Noah. Cody began to freak out, and he said, "Oh, crap!" He put his head in his hands. "We're going to lose."
Noah looked concernedly his way, and said, "Cody, you shouldn't worry too much! It's just a game!"
Sierra's ears perked up, and she turned Noah's way. She asked, "What's wrong with Cody?"
"Oh," Noah said, "It's nothing; he just feels bad because our team is so far behind yours."
"Well," Sierra said, "I don't think that's very fair!"
"Of course it's fair. What are you talking about?" Noah said, "Anyone who might want to cheat is on the team that keeps losing!"
"Yeah," Sierra responded, "I know… but still, poor Cody!"
Sierra stopped pitching. Noah continued to. Lindsay and Alejandro did so as well, although as far as the actual building of pyramids was concerned, Izzy and Owen were still pretty far behind, being only as high as the second layer. Heather and Duncan, on the other hand, had not yet begun that layer.
Harold had been layering the blocks onto the pyramid almost as soon as they came his way, so the Sesquipedalian Brains' pyramid was already three layers up. So was the Delicate Beauties' pyramid.
Trent had been carefully layering the pyramid, but noticed his surplus block pile dwindling. "Uh-oh," he said, "Guys, I think we have a little situation."
"What kind of situation?" Gwen asked.
"I'm out of blocks!" he responded.
"Well, Sierra might be having trouble finding the last set. DJ, you go check on her!" LeShawna said,
"Okay," DJ said, getting up and going to find Sierra. He saw her standing around idly. "Uhh, Sierra? Why aren't you tossing over the blocks?"
"Because," Sierra said, "I'm trying to lose."
"Why?" DJ asked, "Did you have a secret illegal alliance with Chef Hatchet?"
"No, that was you," Sierra responded.
"Did you attract a curse that hurts animals?" DJ asked.
"That was also you," Sierra added, "But as for me? I'm doing it for Cody."
"That's sweet," DJ said. "Don't worry, I won't tell."
(In the confessional, DJ said, "Even if they vote me off, I know I shouldn't interfere with courtly love.")
DJ returned to where the Delicate Beauties were waiting. Trent asked "Is Sierra okay? What's going on with her?"
"She's just getting a little caught up is all," DJ lied very unconvincingly, because his voice was pitched nearly a whole octave higher than it usually was.
Somehow, his team believed him. Gwen, LeShawna, and Trent waited patiently for Sierra to toss the blocks but she never did.
Noah, nearly collapsed from exhaustion, picked up the final block. "Take it, Harold! Final block!" He then fell over stupendously, so far back that his legs stuck in the air.
"Final block?" Harold asked excitedly.
Cody perked up and said, "Final block! But that means…"
Harold placed the block on top of the pyramid. "That means we win!" Harold shouted.
"It does indeed!" Chris said, "If you put it together correctly."
"I don't remember being stabbed once," Cody shrugged, "And, well, if I didn't…"
"CRAP!" Duncan shouted, "The Brains beat us again! I should have expected it in this challenge, but still…"
"Second place, here we come!" Heather shouted as she loaded the final layer onto the top.
(In the confessional, Duncan shouted, "Why? Why do the Brains keep beating us?")
"Let's go, Lindsay! Let's go!" Izzy shouted. "Come on, Lindsay, we only need a couple of blocks now!"
"Like, okay," Lindsay said. She bit her lip as she searched for the next number. She bent down to Noah and asked, "Was it four?"
"Three, you moron," he responded, clearly annoyed that he had to keep talking when he had gotten so winded already.
"Oh, okay!" Lindsay said, picking up the block that said three, and tossing it to her team.
Trent was getting worried. He tapped his foot, and Gwen sighed remorsefully. LeShawna asked, "DJ, when do you think Sierra's going to find the next block? We don't have all day you know."
DJ, now very nervous, said, "Oh, don't worry about Sierra; she's going to be doing just fine." Just like earlier, his voice was high-pitched as he said it.
"Wait," Gwen said, "DJ, are you lying to us?"
"What?" DJ asked, immediately caught off guard, and then he continued in his nervous voice, "Uh, no! Why would you think that?"
"Well, because you're acting like you're hiding something, and when I asked if you were lying you freaked out," Gwen responded.
"Umm," DJ said, visibly sweating. He noticed LeShawna and Gwen giving him a look, and believed Trent was too, although he was too busy panicking about the state of the pyramid to even notice DJ. "Okay! Okay! Sierra's been throwing the challenge! She's doing it for Cody!"
"She's throwing the challenge for Cody?" Gwen asked. "Well, no accounting for taste."
"Hey," Trent said, "Cody's much more of a catch than Duncan."
"Take that back, Trent!" Duncan shouted in his general direction, from off-screen.
"No!" Trent responded tauntingly.
(In the confessional, Trent said, "I'm not going to lie. Comparing Cody to Duncan favorably while he was in earshot felt so good.")
"Yes!" Izzy shouted, "Here's the last block!"
She piled it on top. Chris announced, "Okay, so the Valiant Braves come in third! Which means… that the Delicate Beauties have to get rid of someone." Sierra looked to Cody and blew him a kiss. Cody gave her a look, and then began sulking.
(In the confessional, Cody said, "I… I made her throw the challenge. I'm a cheater! Gah! I'm no better than Duncan!")
The votes were cast, and the Delicate Beauties met Chris in the elimination chamber. DJ looked like he was ready to cry, while Gwen and LeShawna glared at Sierra. "Okay, so first elimination of the season guys. Looks like you weren't immortal after all. Now, which one of you is going home? The bags of pyrite go to LeShawna, Gwen, Trent, and… DJ!"
Sierra walked down, smiling, and said, "I know I threw this challenge… but I was only doing that because of my sympathy for Cody. Surely you must understand what I'm talking about, Gwent?"
"Gwent?" Trent asked, giving Gwen a weird look.
"I wouldn't worry about her," Gwen said, "She's just a fangirl."
"I'm off to leave the game now," Sierra said, "Best of luck to Cody!" As she was shouting that last statement, Chris opened the Trap of Shame.
"Oh, man, sounds like someone's forgetting her team loyalty," Chris said, "Oh, well. Now that Sierra has thrown a challenge for Cody, will the Delicate Beauties' good luck be at an end? Will the Harsh Brawns ever win a challenge? And, will Chef bring back more pointy objects? Find out, on the next Total. Drama. FORTRESS!"