"Last time on Total Drama Fortress, our explorers had to brave the ghost of the fortress, who, I still stand by, was not Chef in a sheet. Thanks to Noah's refusal to heed my very excellent warnings, Owen decided to get revenge on the ghost, making it a victory for the Braves. Unfortunately, Duncan was too busy trying to get Gwen back to help out his team, making the Brawns lose their third elimination challenge, and they lost him. Too bad, so sad. Find out who will be the next to go, here on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!" Chris introduced the show.
Owen, Lindsay, and Izzy held the key. Owen offered the chance to open the door to Lindsay, who gladly did so, quickly. The Valiant Braves entered the room, followed by the Delicate Beauties, the Sesquipedalian Brains, and the Harsh Brawns.
"We lost again," Heather said bitterly, "I can't believe it."
"Relax, Heather," Alejandro responded, "Now that we are free of that ball and chain we can continue our mission in peace."
Cody was skipping around and humming. Noah said, "You best be careful, Cody. With luck like yours, you'll fall into something."
"Oh, no," Cody said calmly, "Don't worry about me, Noah." He forgot to look where he was going and fell into a pool of water. He propelled himself to the top, and spat out some water. "What the heck?"
"Told you," Noah responded, smiling teasingly.
"Look at all the water!" Harold shouted. "It's intense!"
Chris appeared, and said, "Hey, explorers! Do you see the key?"
LeShawna squinted, and Gwen put her hand over her forehead to get better focus. Gwen said, "I think I see it over there… on the other side… of the water."
"Each team has a path to the key, but unfortunately, the path is completely blocked by water. So what you have to do is take each of these blocks and use them to form a bridge," Chris said.
The Harsh Brawns groaned while the Sesquipedalian Brains exchanged meaningful looks.
(In the confessional, Alejandro said, "We are far above this menial work. Give us a real challenge.")
(In the confessional, Harold said, "We're going to swamp everyone today! I mean, this is in so many video games, it's such a cliché… We have this nailed. Don't tell Noah I said that, or he'll get mad at me for 'tempting fate'.")
Lindsay began picking up the blocks and putting them in the water. "Wow, Lindsay," Owen said, "You really know what you're doing."
"Yeah, I know, right?" she asked, giggling.
"Can I test the blocks?" Owen asked.
Lindsay responded with a smile, "Sure! I don't see why not."
As soon as Owen put one foot on the block, it flew toward the platform with no hope for recovery. Chris looked at it as it landed next to the key, and then he said, "Nice."
"Oh, well," Lindsay said, cheerily, "I'll just get more."
(In the confessional, Owen said, "I really messed up… but on this team no one cares if I mess up. We're all so friendly!")
"Hmm," DJ said, looking at two sets of blocks. "These blocks look bigger, but these ones look sturdier."
"Well," LeShawna said, "We should use the sturdier ones. After all, you and I are going to have to walk across them."
"Would it be illegal to just send Gwen across?" DJ asked.
"Well," Chris said, "If I told you, it wouldn't be fun, now would it?"
"Of course it would be," LeShawna responded, "Certainly more than if you don't."
"Well, then, in that case, maybe I should," Chris responded. Then he said, "Psych!" and started laughing.
(In the confessional, LeShawna said, "Okay, if we lose because of that, then I'm going to kill Chris!")
Alejandro and Heather tried to build the bridge. Alejandro kept doing all the work, which annoyed Heather. Heather said, "Alejandro, let me help!"
"Oh," Alejandro said, "But I can do this by myself. Besides, I don't want you to get injured."
"I won't get injured," Heather said, "Now let me help." She picked up a block, and then tried to place it in the water, but lost her footing and fell in.
Then, in complete deadpan, Noah said, "Bummer." Alejandro glared at Noah as he helped pull Heather out of the water.
Harold's ears perked up and then he shouted, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! We have to talk about our favorite mazes right now."
Noah rolled his eyes, and then said, "Pity. It was good while it lasted." Then he walked away.
"Don't leave me hanging, Noah!" Harold shouted. When there was no response he asked, "Noah?"
Noah and Cody worked together to push a block into the water.
"Man," Cody said, "Why do you think they make these blocks so freaking heavy?"
"To ruin our chance of winning? No, seriously, it's so that they can support us," Noah responded. "If they were lighter, they would be too buoyant to hold steady. That's what the Braves over there are doing wrong." Then he turned around and said, "Use the heavier blocks."
Lindsay said, "Like, okay," and then she started to pick the heavier block up.
Izzy blocked her, and then said, "Noah's on the other team. He's obviously trying to trick you! So if he says 'use the heavier blocks', what he means is 'lighter is better.'"
"Umm…" Lindsay said, "Okay."
Noah face-palmed.
(In the confessional, Cody said, "Hey, well, who knew that charitable advice could turn into a benefit for our team? Why don't the bad guys ever think of reverse psychology?")
DJ had been working on the bridge for a while, and then saw that he only had one block left. He looked at the platform on the other side of the pool, and was unsure that his block would be long enough to reach the end. He took a deep breath and then started to push the block across the bridge. He made it to the end of the line, and pushed the block into the water. He could then clearly see a gap where the water was exposed between the bridge and the keys.
"Uh-oh," he said, and then he attempted to jump over the gap. He could not, and fell into the water very soon, and then started sinking due to his mesomorphic body. He was very freaked out at this moment and started shouting for the girls to come help him. LeShawna and Gwen rushed over the (incomplete) bridge to help DJ out of the water.
DJ, all shaken up, decided to go wait on the other side. LeShawna asked Chris angrily, "Where the heck are the rest of the blocks?"
"You see them," Chris said, pointing to the light ones.
"You have got to be kidding me!" she said, "These little toys can't support any of us!"
"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before using all of the big ones in a row," Chris responded unsympathetically.
"Heh," Harold said, listening to the exchange, "Who knew our underweight state could actually be a boon in this challenge?"
"What do you mean?" Cody asked, having not heard the prior conversation between Chris and the Beauties.
"Well, apparently, we should put in one of those little blocks every three or four heavy blocks in order to reach the end," Harold said.
"We don't have to," Noah responded, "It's so much easier if you just rotate the blocks diagonally."
"Because… because the hypotenuse of a triangle is longer than either of its legs," Harold said.
"But what about the narrow connecting points?" Cody asked.
"We'll just skip over them," Noah responded, "Unless you guys have some sort of problem with that."
"Well, I mean, I could fall in the water again…" Cody said sheepishly.
"I will rescue you," Noah said, "I promise."
"Well, then, yes! Let's do it, Professor!" Cody said, saluting.
"Honestly, I thought that nickname was over by now…" Noah said.
"Never," Cody said, and then he and the others attempted to shift the blocks, building it up so that each block pointing with the diagonal line directly approaching the platform. It was a bit hard to push the blocks across the narrowest points but the boys managed.
Heather and Alejandro had gotten very close to finishing, when they hit the same roadblock as the Delicate Beauties did. But instead of despairing, Heather just shoved the light ones in at the end, and then told Alejandro, "Stay here."
"Yes, my sweet," he responded.
She ran across the bridge quickly, sprinting across the second half before the buoyant blocks could sweep her off her feet.
She managed to grab the key on the platform. "Ha-ha," she said, "I got here first! Take that, Brains, Beauties, and Braves!"
"Oh, no," Izzy said, looking at Heather on the platform, "The Brawns already won! We're going to lose for sure unless we hurry!"
"Don't worry, Izzy," Lindsay said, as she started to hop across the buoyant blocks with no problem, but then stopped short when she realized their team had not put in a single heavy block yet. "Umm… Omar? Do you know how to finish this?"
"Oh, no problem," Owen said, picking up the heavier blocks and tossing them haphazardly in the water. The end result was a scattered array of blocks that not only was completely incomprehensible to the eyes as a bridge, but led nowhere near the platform. "Oopsie…" he trailed off, as Lindsay and Izzy looked at the way that they had built the bridge.
(In the confessional, Owen said, "I'm hosed, aren't I?")
(In the confessional, Izzy said, "Vote for Owen? No way! Not even if he lost this game… he's going to be so awesome later.")
The Delicate Beauties were having a slight bit of trouble too. But Gwen said, "Here's my reasoning, guys. If Heather won, then I can place our rank by myself; if I can't place our rank myself, then Heather didn't win and there's no hurry."
"I guess that's true," DJ responded. "Go, Gwen!"
Gwen walked across the blocks, including the buoyant ones, and met Heather on the other side.
"Crap," Harold shouted, "We're losing!"
"Not yet," Cody said, "Spot me!" Cody walked carefully across each block skipping over the narrow passages on each end of the blocks. Noah and Harold followed, if only to make sure the luckless one didn't hurt himself or drown. Since neither of them were well-known for being lucky either, Cody returned the favor.
When the team reached the end, Chris announced, "The Six Quit Ped-Alien Brains win!"
"Wow, running out of ideas, much?" Noah asked.
"Hey, shut up, before I take it back," Chris said.
Heather asked, "What?" with a shocked expression on her face, "No!"
"Guys," Gwen said, "Hurry and cross to the end."
LeShawna and DJ nodded, and were able to cross the first part of the bridge without fear, but became very nervous when they reached the last leg.
"It's okay, LeShawna!" Harold shouted, "Remember: Walking on the moon!"
LeShawna smiled, and then grabbed DJ's hand, and crossed the water.
(In the confessional, LeShawna said, "Call the Sesquipedalian Brains uncool if you like; but you can't deny they have a sense of charity.")
"Alejandro!" Heather shouted, "Hurry up! We don't want Team Stupid and Weird to beat us!"
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, Heather," Alejandro said, staring at the failed bridge that the Valiant Braves had built. "Good luck, Owen!" he shouted tauntingly.
Owen smiled nervously at Alejandro, who was now, very slowly making his way across the gap.
"You're so kind," Noah shouted to Alejandro.
"Thank you," Alejandro responded.
"Oh, the irony!" Cody shouted, which prompted Harold to groan audibly. "Okay, yeah, that was bad."
Alejandro still was nowhere near the platform, when Chris started to tap his foot.
"Alejandro," he said, "You might think you have all day, but we don't, so hurry up already!"
"Alright, alright," Alejandro said, walking across the pool much quicker now, and then falling in the water near the end.
" *Bleep* my life," Alejandro said.
"You totally deserved it," Noah responded, prompting Cody to give him a high five.
"Alright, you big stupid man," Heather said, pulling him out of the water. "We're safe from elimination."
"Exactly!" Chris shouted, "So… the Valiant Braves are going to have to say goodbye to one of their members."
Izzy and Owen looked at each other sadly. "It's my fault we lost," Owen cried, "It was my fault that the bridge didn't work."
"Well, that wouldn't have come up if I didn't assume our friend was lying to us," Izzy said, and then she made a motion to her head while saying, "Doi!"
"Well, yeah, but… I was the one who ruined the first block!" Owen responded. "I don't want you to go!"
"I don't want you to go either!" Izzy shouted, and then hugged Owen.
Izzy and Owen looked at each other, and then Izzy said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Well," Owen said, "It just seems so unfair to vote off Lindsay…"
"Oh, great!" she responded without irony, "You are thinking what I'm thinking." She grabbed Owen's arm and they walked away.
The votes were cast, and the Valiant Braves met Chris in the elimination chamber. Chris said, "Wow, this vote is so shocking..."
"What is it?" Lindsay asked, naively smiling. Owen and Izzy looked at each other. Owen was clearly unhappy.
"Umm, okay, so even though it was Izzy and Owen's fault that your team lost today, they're both safe." Lindsay blinked. "Which means that you're voted off."
"What?" Lindsay asked.
"I suppose I can hand out these bags of pyrite," Chris began.
"No way," Owen said, "I don't deserve it. I was a jerk."
"Umm, okay," Chris said, "Then I guess I'll keep them because I'm totally not a jerk at all and am most certainly not a bigger jerk than you."
"Exactly," Owen responded.
Chris then opened the Trap of Shame which Lindsay fell into and once she reached the bottom she started crying.
"Oh my good golly gosh!" Owen shouted at her, "Are you injured?"
"No," Lindsay cried, "The fall broke my designer belt buckle!"
"Okay," Chris said, "Ten down, ten to go! Will Harold ever get Noah to stop thinking he's annoying again? Will our two teams that are now just couples form an alliance? And will Lindsay ever be able to replace her designer belt buckle?"
"No," Lindsay responded sadly, "It's one of a kind!"
Owen looked very unhappy and worried.
"Find out, next time, on Total. Drama. FORTRESS!"