Chapter 17
Hermione didn't hear from Draco for a few days to her endless relief. Their last evening together had been a little too much, a little too close to the bone. Luckily she got over her neediness as the intensity of their coupling had scared her out of that state.
She hoped like anything the future didn't lie in that direction. She still couldn't understand how it had happened, or quite what happened, but it left her feeling very uncomfortable.
He was fairly distant the next time she saw him. More like he used to be, actually he hadn't changed that much, with the exception of being sensitive and, gulp, caring when Delia died and threw Hermione into such a state. Hermione was gobsmacked he was even capable, but he had played the part of a supportive partner fairly well for a day. Not that it was knowledge of him she particularly wanted. It just made her uncomfortable all round.
By the way he was now acting, maybe it made him uncomfortable too, because he was downright cold today. They went out briefly to some outside dinner on a lake. It was beautiful with lights and fires sparkling along the lake giving it a ethereal quality if you were in the mood for it, which apparently neither of them were.
Draco was grumpy. He wasn't even paying attention to the drinking with the usual gusto. He wasn't paying attention to her at all, thank heaven for small mercies.
Hermione wasn't particularly in the mood for participating in conversations either. Everything just felt awkward. She really needed to get rid of him, she decided. Getting rid of him meant going forwards. He was obviously not happy about something. Maybe he regretted being kind to her. Maybe the intimacy was uncomfortable to him too. It did kind of suggest that more of it was in order to achieve her aim, but she wasn't sure she could deal with it.
Going back was not an option. It was where he was comfortable and where she was miserable. She wouldn't lie to herself and say she didn't find the sex intriguing. She admitted she was very confused about it. She found the thought of his body straining away over her very sexy. It really was the only not awful thing in her life right now and she wasn't sure she was willing to give it up, even if her current partner was him.
Previously it had been about the potion, been about release. But now, there was something else in the mix. He had been her nemesis growing up, looked down on and rejected her at every possible turn. She was pretty sure he well and truly believed she was beneath him, but it didn't change the fact that he wanted her. Filthy as she was, it was where he wanted to be at the end of the night. So what did that mean? What exactly did filth mean when it was where he wanted to bury himself until he was completely spent, night after night?
And why did she have to analyse everything? It was making her head hurt. But its not like he was some lone loony either. They were all doing it. There was no denying that Connie was hot property. Apparently so was she if Marcus' word counted for anything. She conceded that she just didn't get men. They were not logical creatures. She supposed that neither was she, because she despised Draco but to be completely honest, she didn't mind looking at him naked. And she couldn't think of anyone else she wanted to see naked.
Sex that night was rough and she didn't mind. It beat intimacy and she was avoiding his eyes like the plague. He wasn't particularly seeking hers out either. He certainly didn't mind taking direction from her when they were doing it. When she told him to go harder, he would.
She poured every bit of her confusion and anger into it and by the end she was practically screaming her release. It left both of them completely drained. She noticed that she was lying on the actual mattress. Somehow the sheets had been bundled into a mess that was hanging off the edge of the bed.
She was panting for a while after he rolled off her, she was so incredibly hot, like she had sprinted a mile. She noticed the glistening sheen of sweat all over him as he fought to catch his breath. She would have to take a bath when she got home. She didn't want to lie in bed all night knowing she was covered in his sweat.
The awkward silence of the evening continued.
"You should go." He said.
"I'd like to stay." She said trying not to laugh because it is the last thing in the world she wanted. She wanted to rush out of there this very second, naked if she had to. But the plan required the sacrifice.
"No." He said sternly to her eternal relief.
She got up and dressed and tried very hard to look a little put out. Not too much in case he relented.
She walked out the bedroom door and waved a quick goodbye, then ran as she got out of sight. She wasn't sure why, but maybe in case he changed his mind.
She sat in the bath and reflected on how well the plan was going. Admittedly, most of it had been accidental, but still she had helped a little. He seemed freaked out, which was only good and he really was pulling back. She had to stay the course now.
Things got even better when he didn't call her for a few days. When he finally did, he was still a little reserved but more coolly detached like he used to be.
"Where have you been?" She asked and went over to hug him as she arrived at Black Manor.
"Miss me did you?" He said in that annoying superior way he did when he felt like he had the upper hand.
She pouted a bit. She really was getting better at this.
"I just don't like being alone for too long." She said.
Ok, he really enjoyed having the upper hand, she thought bitterly.
"Well that is a shame." He said a little more reserved after his moment of lording it over her. "Maybe you should make some friends with the girls."
He pried her fingers off his hips and stepped away.
"I hope you've eaten already, because we are going now." He said.
"Where are we going?" She asked, she wondered if she should whine and say she wanted to stay home, but didn't. She didn't want to overdo it.
She didn't even listen to his response, instead just dutifully followed.
The evening was typical. She really was getting so bored with these nights. They were all the same. Drinking, inane chatter about stupid stuff like Quidditch and the drunken stories of previous nights.
A couple of weeks followed with the same routine. He would call her over, they would go out, then rough, gymnastic like sex if he wasn't too drunk. Then he would tell her to leave, she would pout but leave.
But it wasn't enough to get the plan to the end result. They just seemed to have hit a new equilibrium. One where she begged and he lorded it over her by denying her. She needed to do more, but she wasn't sure what. How could she be more clingy, more annoying?
She decided that she would have to participate more in his evening activities. Laugh at his jokes, look like she's really into him. Yuck.
It seemed to back fire at first as he welcomed her attention. She suspected he liked showing off to his friends how adoring she had become.
Connie gave her a sneak thumbs up which steadied her resolve. She continued with her efforts squeeze up against him and gently rubbed his back when he was speaking to some Ravenclaw about some gaming rules. He didn't seem to mind. It did backfire a little, because it contact made her a little hot and bothered, egged on by the drinks she'd had. Sadly she realised, she actually wanted to go back to his place and ride him until he turned to putty.
She was definitely getting over her aversion of sex with him. Really over it. Well, she decided, she would use it to her advantage.
"Don't drink too much tonight." She pleaded and crept her hand a little lower down his hip as her thumb stroked his hip bone.
He looked a little surprise, but pleased.
"As the lady commands." He said a little hoarsely. He turned to the guy he was talking to and said suggestively. "It seems my companion requires my undivided attention."
The sex was vigorous and hurried, finishing in a sweaty heap on the floor. It had actually been amazing. She was starting to like it a little too much, she decided. One thing that was bothering her is that he wanted, demanded for her to scream his name as she was coming, and it seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.