Chapter 19

Hermione felt drained when she got home. She was relieved that it was done, but also very nervous because she had just bit the hand that literally feeds her and that was uncomfortable because now she was on her own again. Cut loose into a hostile world.

There was a part of her that wanted to go over to his place and say she was sorry, she hadn't meant to do it. She wasn't sure where that was coming from, but chalked it up to plain fear.

She half expected the door to be barred when she got home, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing happened the rest of the evening either.

She had some very anxious dreams that night, waking early in the morning. At some point during the day, the repercussions of the night before were going to hit.

She recognised that a tiny part of her was hoping that he would have just gone, 'ok, but can I finish my drink first', but she knew fully well how utterly ridiculous that was. He had looked furious at her little scene.

A call through the fireplace made her jump, but it was only Connie informing her of her upcoming arrival.

"My dear," She said as she stepped out of the fireplace, "that was spectacular."

"You think it did the trick?" Hermione said, pretty sure it did.

"Not only did you burn the bridge, you burnt half the town as well." She said. "He was fuming for a good half hour after you left. Not only did you rip it apart, you made it practically impossible for him to do anything other than end it."

"I have to say." She continued. "You have guts. You are aware that it has made you a persona non grata with the whole crowd?"

Hermione nodded.

"Not that Mr. Merrimen will mind. Not really his crowd. I'm not sure he has a crowd of any description actually. Well too late to ask if you are sure, your funeral happened last night."

"Do you think Draco is going to do anything to me?"

"No." She said. "That's the beauty, he can't really. If it gets out that he is still dealing with you, its going to look like he is on some level endorsing what you suggested. No, now he needs to distance himself completely. He left last night some raven haired girl imported from some Mediterranean country."

Hermione hadn't expected that last statement. Hadn't expected to be replaced practically immediately. No wonder she hadn't heard anything from him last night, he had been otherwise engaged.

Out of nowhere she felt a lump in the back of her throat and prickles in the back of her eyes, that eventually worked itself into a grimace she couldn't suppress.

"Oh God." Connie said. "You are the biggest idiot on the planet."

"Its not..."

"What was the one rule I told you?" Connie said sternly. "You're fucking in love with him!"

"I'm not." Hermione tried. "Really, I'm not, its just tension."

"You really are too soft for this." Connie said. "He would completely tear you apart. This is a game to them and as soon as he tires of you, you're out. He isn't Mr. Merrimen, he isn't going to settle down with his mistress. Don't ever forget, we are just whores to them. Toys."

"I know." Hermione said knowing the brutal words were completely true, she knew it and always had. She swatted her eyes and tried to calm whatever stupid and unfounded emotion was unfortunately hijacking her at the moment.

"I'll make you some tea." Connie said like she was speaking to a naughty child.

While Connie was in the kitchen an owl arrived with a letter. She knew the handwriting well by now and the crisp, heavy parchment he used.

Your services will no longer be required. Stay in the house as long as you may need it. If there were some way of gifting it to you, I would, but I can't. Best of luck for your future.

D. Malfoy

It was business like and surprisingly cordial considering what she was expecting, but still cold considering what they had been doing almost every night. It was more a letter to someone who supplied office stationary. It just went to show that this had always been a business transaction.

The letter came with a pouch that contained five pieces of jewellery. The pouch was quite heavy and contained a necklace, two broaches, some kind of hair ornament and some earrings. None of them matched and were really too much for her taste.

Hermione put the jewellery down on the desk. Jewellery had not been what she had expected as the fall out of the night before, so she wasn't entirely sure what it meant.

She showed the letter and the jewellery to Connie when she returned.

"He's letting you use the house. That's great! And this jewellery is very generous. There is always parting jewellery, but not usually on this scale. These are precious stones. This will keep you for quite a while. "

Connie looked at her suspiciously, "He isn't crying into his tea too is he?"

"I was not crying." Hermione defended herself. "It was just a little ... moment. It been nerve wrecking, you know. It was just tension."

"Because its looking like he is hoping you will stay unattached for a while, giving you a place to live and enough jewellery to live off for a number of years." Connie said fanning herself with the letter. "This is a very generous deal. You've actually managed to set yourself up here nicely."

"Please, this is Draco Malfoy. He gives nothing for free."

"Maybe not." Connie said. "He is the kind who would eventually take advantage of the fact that you're in love with him."

"I'm not!"

"That he thinks is in love with him, I meant to say." Connie finished but obviously still held onto her suspicions.

"No, I'm going to leave. Clean cut and all that."

"It will take time to organise things with Mr. Merrimen. Some incidental meetings, flirting, some dates. With a patron its better to take things slow. Get them truly hooked." Connie said. "Stay until its done."

"No, I don't want to." Hermione said. "I would rather go back to my apartment."

"In dingy MQ?" Connie said incredulously.

"But its all mine."

"I can't say that I understand your choices, but under the circumstances, I won't argue with you." Connie said. "I will have a think about Operation Merrimen and plan out our next step in the meantime. Much to do, I'd better go."

Edna didn't show any disappointment at having to desert her cozy room the lesser comforts of Hermione's apartment. They had enough means now to keep them warm and content for quite a while. So although it wasn't the faded glory of the run down Grimmauld Place, it wasn't that bad.

Hermione couldn't deny the tentative steps of excitement. She was her own woman again, no one to obey. No one else's will to bend to. For now. Relieved that the whole thing with Draco was over. No longer having to be imposed upon and all the emotional baggage that went with that. So while her means were limited, she had freedom and that counted for so much more.

She would have to get on with Mr. Merrimen, but if she didn't like it she could move onto the next candidate. She had a good feeling about him though. They would probably get on well. Men in his position would be glad to have someone to spend their days with.

Hermione was glad that she had Connie to help plan the thing because she didn't have a clue what to do really. Not well versed at picking up men.

She could probably even sell some of the more audacious gowns. She doubted she would need them now. She only brought with her stuff that Draco had given her. She didn't take a single thing that wasn't.

All in all she felt relief that it was behind her. She wouldn't have this feeling if she was still living in his house, even if she never saw him again, she would still know that he was supporting her. She didn't have the same qualms about the stuff he gave her, that was part of the deal. And now the deal was done and dusted. Welcome the future, especially as things were starting to get complicated. In fact she felt like she had escaped a horrible fate.

She wouldn't lie to herself and say there wasn't something bone deep in her that wanted him to be the one she could depend upon, trust implicitly like she had the day Delia died, but he wasn't. He was the kind that would coax her up a cliff and then push her off.

There wasn't a peep from Draco again. She wasn't even sure he knew she had moved out, but she didn't care.

She met Connie in a cafe a few days later.

"So I've heard more about what the Council is planning. Strictly confidential. Pillow talk, you know. So it isn't public knowledge but the idea is to offer muggleborns a way to return to the muggle world." She said quietly so no one around them heard.

Hermione waited patiently for more information.

"The drawback is that they insist on a complete memory wipe. So not much of a concession really." Connie continued. "I am sure some are desperate enough to go for it."

Hermione had to turn over this new information in her mind. The possibility of going into the muggle world was very tempting, but wiping out her memory of the magical world was extreme. It was half her life.

"You wouldn't even consider it?" Hermione asked.

"Heavens no. I do have it fairly good here and what would I be if I was returned to the muggle world. Practically as an eleven year old. No education, no prospects."

"But you would be free."

"I don't really seek any freedom beyond what I have." Connie said. "Even if things don't ever change here, I will have enough to retire in a few years and I don't think I could live without my magic, it is a fundamental part of me."

Connie moved onto other topics, but Hermione could not get her mind beyond the potential of going back to the muggle world. A world where she would be free, free to love whoever she wanted, free to marry. Free to have children. All for the price of her memory of magic and the magical world.

She thought about it for days after. Freedom, no more people looking down on her for her blood status, she wouldn't even remember the concept of blood status. She would just be another one of in the crowd just as equal as everyone else, with every opportunity. And she could have children, a husband, all the things that she suspected would become really important to her in the future.

She would forget everything about Draco, the war and the awful prejudice of this society. She would also forget about Harry. That probably caused her more concern than anything. Her one and only true friend. There was of course lovely Neville and Luna, but Harry was a true, lifelong friend. More like a brother. And he was dead.

She really had nothing here. Mr. Merrimen was a dream of a tolerable existence but nothing more. Even if it worked out great, she would still be dependent on him to support her. She would never have a career, probably never have a job even.

A part of her felt like it would be admitting defeat. She had as much right to magic and the magical world as anyone else, but was principle worth this life?

As she usually did, she wondered what Harry would do. Would he stay and fight? Fight with people who never wanted you in the first place. Sacrifice all your happiness for the chance to prove them wrong. A chance that may never eventuate. Harry was always up for a fight, but he also wouldn't live his life to please or prove others.

But he wouldn't sacrifice others for his own good either. And neither could she. She couldn't leave Edna to fend for herself. As lovely as the dream of complete freedom in the muggle world was, she had commitments here and might do for some years to come.