Quick warning... this story is rated M for a reason :)
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." – Judy Garland
The water around me is cold and the cold seeping through my body is what finally wakes me. The Beethoven has stopped playing, being replaced by the gentle sound of a random song on guitar. The title of it is just on my periphery and I listen to each note carefully trying to identify it. I'm assaulted by the smell of my bubble bath, but there is another smell mixed with it that I can't identify. I jerk my eyes open startled when I realize that I am no longer in my bathtub.
I look down at the large porcelain bowl around me, the claw feet holding it off of tacky black and white tile. I have seen that tile and this tub before and I know that I must be dreaming, because surely there is no other explanation that would make sense. There is a knock on the door, and it opens and my breath is literally taken away from me.
"Are you going to lay in there and prune all night, babe, or are you going to join me for dinner?"
"Noah?" the word escapes my mouth in a gasp and I clench my eyes tight fighting back the tears that I am sure are going to be coming. His sweatpants are hung low on his hips and his shirt is slung over his shoulder, he has a pair of black thick rimmed glasses on and I find that all I want to do is look into his eyes. This is such a fucked up dream.
"What's the matter, B?" and suddenly he is beside me, his knees pressed into the small water catching rug that I had carefully lay out.
I rationally know that I am still at home, in my tub, and that the minute I wake up everything will go back to the way it was. I will have errands to run and I will need to pick up Aden from Tina's. The pain of this realization forces me from saying anything and instead I raise my hands to my face to block it as the tears seep down. I can hear a rustle of movement and then I am being pushed forward and then pressed back into a warm body; a very naked, warm body.
"Shh, shh," he whispers as his hands massage my shoulders and I continue to cry, "It was just one part babe. There will be others bigger and better. It's not the end of the world. I'm here for you." His arms wrap around my stomach and pull me tightly against him, his chin resting on the top of my forehead. I'm so confused and lost and I really don't know what to say or do so I just fall back into him and let him soothe me the way that he used to.
He places gentle kisses on my neck and forehead as he sweeps my moist hair away from my face. The music has stopped playing and it's only then that I realize it was him that I was hearing play. I want to ask him what song he was playing but one of the main things that we used to fight about was his music. Instead I close my eyes and relish in the feel of his arms wrapped around me, his body behind mine.
We are only in the tub for a few minutes, and the air around us is mostly silent, but it is the most comfortable and most at peace I have felt in years. As if I was a fragile porcelain doll, he dries my skin and wraps the towel snugly around me before drying himself. As we exit the bathroom I look down the hall and see the food spread out on the coffee table, his guitar lying haphazardly on the cushions of our couch.
I remember this moment, this night.
I was upset about not getting the part in a new Broadway show. The title to it eludes me, but I do remember how badly I wanted it and how absolutely devastated I was that I hadn't gotten it. I had trudged to the subway and ridden it for hours trying to forget the feeling of helplessness and despair that had been overwhelming me at the time.
When I finally arrived home, Noah sat waiting for me on the couch as if he knew that I would need him to be there. He reminded me that I was "Rachel fucking Berry and I was better than all of those other fuckers." He had drawn me a bath, ordered my favorite take out, and then pulled me into the bedroom to thoroughly distract me.
Instead of heading towards the food, his hand wraps around my wrist and he pulls me into our bedroom. There are piles of clothes in the corner, our sheets are a tangled mess, and our comforter is strung across the desk. I'm surprised at how the lack of organization doesn't seem to bother me, in fact I relish in the disarray of how my life used to be.
As he pushes me back onto the bed, his fingers unwrapping the towel from around me I think back to this moment in time.
It's June 29th, 2013.
Its five years before my present time and just a few months short of when Noah and I decided to call it quits. I watch as he drops his towel, the moonlight illuminating his features and wonder if fate has given me a second chance. I know what the future brings, I know the mistakes that I made, and I know how much my life has suffered without him in it.
I lean towards him, my body craving the contact of our skin. As if sensing my urgency Noah leans in to meet me, our lips touching and caressing each other desperately. He is pouring his love into each and every movement and I meet him with a fervor I haven't possessed in years.
My hands trace the panes of his chest, toying with his nipple ring, delighting in the growl that escapes his lips. Sensing my need or perhaps responding to his own, Noah lifts me to the head of the bed. My back arches as he palms and plays with my breasts, his breathing haggard and warm against my ear.
"I love you, B, you know that." He whispers as his hands move lower and knead my hips.
My mouth is open and I am so distracted by everything that is happening, by the feel of his hands on my body, the feel of my heart hammering in my chest, every pore is suddenly alive and I find my mouth moving in response. "I love you too, Noah."
I flash to Finn and the vows that I have taken, but here in the now, Finn isn't even a blip on the radar of our relationship. I push the thoughts out of my mind and focus on his fingers which are now plunging deep within me.
"God, you're so wet, Rach." His hum reverberates against my neck and I am panting, my eyes are clenching tight, and I am so close to falling apart. Suddenly his fingers are gone and I can feel the head of his penis resting against me.
"Oh god, Noah, please!" I beg as his mouth presses against me and he pushes inside of me. My body is on fire and trembles have overtaken me. I feel as if a piece of me has been given back and I am suddenly complete once again. I pull my lips away and cry out against the sensation of him fully inside of me. It's been a while for me, longer than I care to admit, and any movement is going to set me off.
"Look at me, Rach." His voice is husky and deeper than normal, and it has a demanding quality to it that literally makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I open my eyes, meeting his hazel ones and getting lost in the depths of them.
As much as I try, I can't hold my emotions any longer, and the tears fall down my cheeks. His face is rimmed with love and a bit of concern. Our love life was good, but it was never this emotional and I'm sure that he is a bit taken back by it.
"I will always love you," I whimper.
His hand wraps around my chin gently and he kisses me softly, our tongues moving together gently as he pulls out and pushes back in. I meet each of his thrusts with one of my own, feeling the tension building higher and higher in my stomach.
I can't help but muse at how well we move together, we are synchronized, and the feeling of oneness is so overwhelming that it's hard to breathe.
I don't remember it ever feeling like this, this intense, this real.
Our bodies, sweaty and breathless, slide and heave against each others as my walls begin to clamp around him. The waves that overtake me fill my senses and I am screaming his name, the sound echoing through our room and across our apartment. I feel him pulse within me and he calls my name into the air, his head burrowing into my sweaty hair as he falls on top of me.
I can feel the tears and fight them back, burrowing my face into the nook of his neck, I let them close against the sweaty skin. He nuzzles my neck and places gentle kisses along my pulse, sucking the skin into his mouth. It's not minutes later that I feel him begin to harden within me once again.
This is going to be a gloriously long night.
#
Even with the late night, I still wake up earlier than I would like and find myself out of bed and roaming our old apartment. My muscles are stiff and a bit sore, but the pain reminds me of where I am and who I am with, so I take it with pleasure. I've pulled Noah's discarded T-shirt over my body not only to cover my bare skin but because it feels amazing to just smell him again.
This place, the home we made for ourselves, makes me feel more comfortable than it probably should. The apartment wasn't without its problems (the light in the hallway didn't work unless you jiggled the switch) but it also had a quaint charm to it that I had grown to love. I could hear the buzz of the washer and dryer that were placed just across the hall from us and found myself smiling at the sound.
When we had first moved in the noise had driven me insane to the point where two weeks after we had moved in I was begging Noah to move. As time wore on I got used to the noise and used to equate it with being home. I guess I was going to have to get used to tuning it out again, I thought happily.
Our calendar is on a hook next to the phone and I pull it off looking through the past few days and next few days activities. My audition from the night before is circled and starred with one of those gaudy gold stars that I had used to sign everything with when I still had dreams. The bitterness of the thought surprises me and I quickly hang the calendar up promising to delve into those feelings later.
Right now I want to remain blissfully happy.
My cell phone is in my purse, which I must have thrown by the couch the night before after arriving home. I pull the device out and flip through my missed calls and messages pausing only when I see the name Britt. My hands are trembling as I dial the number, sitting down on the edge of the couch once she answers.
"Hiya Rach," her voice is way too perky for this time of the morning and I can't help but smile.
"Britt?" I question, my voice wavering as I try to compose myself.
"Shit," she replies quickly, "by the sound of your voice you didn't get it did you? I was waiting for your call last night, but when you didn't I figured that Puck just distracted you." She doesn't wait for a response but continues on, "San and I will be over in an hour or so and we are stealing you for the day, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Even Puck can't fault you for going for a spa day after last night."
Before I can even truly digest the information I hear the dial tone and look down at my phone in awe. There was a time when I was close with Brittany and Santana, a time when in fact the three of us were the best of friends. When everything was said and done, and my relationship with Puck was over, the lines had been clearly drawn in the sand and not in my favor. Hearing her voice now just reminds me how much I have missed her all these years, how much was missing in my life without her and San's friendship.
I'm in such a good mood and I've got enough time before they get here that I head into the kitchen, pulling the ingredients out to make chocolate chip pancakes. I let the griddle heat and sit at the table (a garage sale find!) admiring the general chaos of the room. There are unwashed dishes in the sink, a few bottles next to the bin, and a stack of hand towels by the linen closet. The unruliness, which I would normally find unbearable, is a relaxing change of pace.
I put my iPod on the dock, letting the music echo through the kitchen as I go about mixing the batter. I'm swinging my hips to the beat, spatula in my hand like a microphone, when Noah finally makes his presence in the kitchen. He has an amused look on his face as he takes in the image of me dancing and singing in his baggy shirt.
"Breakfast and a show," his eyes scan my body for a moment and I can feel the blush move up my neck and across my face, "excellent." It doesn't matter that we have been together for years, doesn't matter that I have come to expect anything to come out of his lips; he still has this effect on me. Deciding not to respond I turn my back to him and flip the patty letting the other side brown.
Instead of sitting at the table, he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, his lips brushing against the back of my head. "Are you feeling better about everything?" he questions and I can hear the concern and sincerity of it.
I think back to last night's activities and can't help but smile and nod my head. His lips make their way from the back of my head down to my neck and I can feel his teeth gently nipping at the skin. "Britt called," I groan out as I feel his chuckle reverberate against my back, "She, San, and I are going to have a spa day today."
"No," he grumbles his arms wrapping tighter as I pull the pancakes off the griddle and flip them onto a plate. "My day is completely free," his arms begin to move lower, caressing the bare skin of my thighs, "I thought we would spend it together, in bed."
I can feel the blush rising up my body, feel each brush of his finger against my skin, but Britt and San are going to be here any minute, so I pull away and look up at him. "I promised them I would go with them, Noah." I rest my hands on his chest, trying to keep him a step back while I gain my bearings and catch my breath.
"I can just send them away, B, I don't have a problem with that." His eyebrow arched in amusement and I found myself stepping back further, the counter digging into my spine. Noah was always able to distract me, make me become completely unhinged, and as he stepped closer I could feel the pull of his body calling to me.
"No," I whimpered, noticing how unsure my voice sounded.
Without warning, he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. My hands that had started out pushing him away were now locked between the two of us and small whimpers were escaping my lips. I can't ignore the feel of his body against mine, the fire that slowly burns within me, and leaning into him I give the kiss everything I've got.
Grabbing my hips roughly, he picks me up and sets me down on the empty expanse of the counter. Without even thinking about it, I wrap my legs around him, pulling him tightly towards me and feeling the brush of his erection against me.
His hands are everywhere at once, brushing, stroking and teasing me into a frenzy. I plunge my hand into his sweats, finding and gripping him firmly. I watch his face as I slowly pump him, each movement making it contort in pleasure. As my thumb rubbed across the tip, I could faintly hear a knock in the distance and groaned.
"Something wrong?" he growled, his hands tugging his shirt off of my body and his mouth leaning down to nip at my breasts. I can't help the hiss that escapes my lips, and I throw my head back against the cupboards. His fingers find their way inside of me and as he pumps them I can't help the cry that escapes my lips.
"Just fuck me already," I beg. I try to ignore the smirk of triumph on his lips and the sound of the knock getting louder.
"You got it babe," he groaned. Before I can even respond, he plunges into me. I let out a scream, as he pulls out and slams back in with no mercy. The mixture of pleasure and pain is causing me to lose control and I can hear the stream of words bellowing from my mouth. My hips jerk to meet his thrusts and I feel his fingers dig into my hips.
"Oh god," I whimper, "harder."
He stops for a moment, looking at me in awe, before he picks me up and rotates me onto the kitchen table. "You are mine," he growls as he thrusts harder, his hands using the table for leverage. "ALL FUCKING MINE." His hand reaches down to rub my clit and I find myself letting go.
My body convulses, I see gold stars in my eyes, and I clearly hear my high pitched scream.
It takes a few minutes for me to come down and when I do the first thing I see is the look of awe on his face. The second thing I see is my two best friends, jaws slack, standing in the kitchen door.
Well fuck my life.
Wow... I'm glad that a lot of you are loving this concept as much as I am! Thanks to those of you who reviewed, added to your favorites, or alerts! You guys made my weekend!
Coming up next: A spa day with Britt and San, plus we learn what exactly happened to end the relationship last time
Until then
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