Rachel moved around the bed pulling back the covers, a pensive look on her face. "Santana's staying in the guest room," she told Finn as he walked out of the bathroom. "She said she couldn't bear to go back to their apartment right now."

"She shouldn't go back," Finn said as he walked out of the bathroom, one towel around his waist, another in his hand as he ran it along the back of his neck. "He told her he loved her and she kinda just stared at him. I mean, who does that?"

Rachel swallowed thickly, her eyes dropping to the bed, completely unable to stop the tears that were forming in her eyes. She hated pregnancy hormones. "Me," she whispered. "I do that."

Finn let out a heavy breath. "Rach …"

"I did that exact thing, Finn," she reminded him. "I said break a leg, you said I love you and I said nothing."

"The song started."

"It took me five months to say it back," she responded as she shook her head. 'You never once gave up on me in that time. You called me, you texted me. You took me on dates and held my hand and kissed me. And you kept telling me that you loved me. And I didn't say it back, not once, until well into our relationship."

"That was different. You …" he trailed off. Come to think of it, she'd never told him why it took her so long to say it back. "Wait. Why did it take you so long to say it back?"

"Because, I …" she said softly, one hand moving to rest on her stomach, the other resting on the bed. "I, uhm …"

"Rach?" Finn asked softly as he slid on his boxer shorts and looked over at his wife. "Is there … I mean, why can't you just tell me? Is it … is it bad?"

"You'll think it is," she told him in a whisper. "And then you'll get all broody …"

"I don't brood."

"And then I'll get upset. Then you'll get upset …"

"Rachel …"

"Finn, I …"

"Just tell me," he said. "I promise it won't be bad. It's all in the past now."

She took a deep, fortifying breath before saying in as steady a voice as she could muster, "Because I was still waiting for you to leave me for someone else."

To say Finn was shocked would be a massive understatement. He couldn't believe what his wife was saying. He'd had no idea that she was holding out because she doubted his feelings. He'd taken every measure he could possibly have thought of at the time to make sure she knew he loved her and he wouldn't leave her.

He'd turned down Quinn for her. Though, to be honest, it wasn't that hard to do. Sure, he felt like they had been bonded over the baby that was never his, and he felt betrayed and hurt when he found out the Drizzle Hudson was actually Beth Puckerman.

"Rachel, right after you did that thing to Sunbeam …"

"Sunshine."

"Whatever. Right after you did that, I went in and talked our friends down. I-I told you I would never break up with you. I told you we could raise or children Jewish. I … I sang my soul to you when I told you I wouldn't break your heart. I did a musical for you. I didn't kill Puck when he kissed you at that stupid party. I …" he exhaled loudly and ran his hand over his hair and let it settle at the back of his neck. His eyes drifted down to the turned-town bed before rising up to meet hers again. "God, Rach. How could you keep something so huge from me? I spent months handing my heart to you and I tried not to die a little every time you didn't give yours back. And now, ten years later, I find out that you weren't sure I truly loved you? That I would, what, see a new Cheerio and drop you? Jesus," he said as he shook his head and shut his eyes. "I can't believe you didn't trust me."

"Finn, I …" she trailed off, voice catching in her throat. "You – you have to understand. It wouldn't have been the first time …"

"I changed when we got together, Rachel. It was so, so different. I wasn't in pain over the baby anymore. I could finally be open and honest with you about how I felt. Because it wasn't until Santana and Brittany started making fun of you on our date …"

"Oh, right. The date you went on right after you broke up with me to find your inner rock star," she spat back. "Because dating me was too constricting and dating two stupid, rude, slutty Cheerios was way less pressure on you. Because it was all going to be some sordid, cheap, meaningless screw to you."

"That's right, Rachel. Meaningless. I needed to not be in a committed relationship right then. I mean, do you have any idea how it felt to be lied to like that? It's not something you can get over easily."

"You mean like when you tricked me into rejoining the glee club so that you could win a scholarship to take care of the baby you conveniently left out of the conversation before and after you kissed me on our bowling date? Was it something like that feeling? Because I wanted to do so much more than slap you that day, Finn Hudson."

"Wow, Rachel. Brining up the past so you can make me feel guilty for siding with my best friend. Real mature, Rach."

"Don't you dare talk to me about being mature, Finn Hudson. I'm not the one who …"

"Geez, Rach! Just shut the hell up for a minute! We agreed before we got married that we would stop brining up the past to hurt one another. Why the hell can't you just let it go?"

"You started it!" she yelled back at him.

"No, I didn't," he reminded her, trying to keep his voice gentle. "You brought it up saying that you're just like Santana and didn't say it back as soon as you felt it."

"Finn, I felt it a hell of a long time before you told me you loved me. I told Kurt before Sectionals."

"Why didn't you tell me before Sectionals?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said sarcastically. "Could it be because you pretty much laughed in my face and called me a sad clown hooker …"

"Oh, God. Not that again."

"Or could it be because you were in love with Quinn and she was having your baby?"

"But she wasn't!" he cried loudly. "She was having Puck's baby."

"Yes, Finn," she said in a condescending voice, her clenched fists moving to her hips. "I'm the one who told you that, wasn't I? Because you didn't realize you can't get pregnant from your boyfriend ejaculating in the hot tub!"

"Oh, so now I'm stupid again. Damnit, Rachel, that was the first time I'd ever gotten any kind of real play from Quinn and we'd been together for, like, three months at the time."

"Three whole months. Quite the Christian, wasn't she?"

"You leave Quinn out of this. She's not a part of this fight. This is about you and me and you not trusting me when I said I loved you."

"Well your words and actions had been unreliable at best prior to that. How was I supposed to know that you weren't just trying to prove to yourself that I loved you more than Jesse? That you were better than him? How did I know that you weren't just going to turn your back on me like you had before? Gosh, Finn! It seemed like every time I let you have a part of me, you took it, kept it for a bit, then decided you were bored with it and threw it away. I gave you my heart and you tossed it away like a broken toy! Forgive me for not trusting that you wouldn't get bored again!"

"Bored?" Finn asked humorlessly. "How could I be bored when you kept changing personalities so often back then? First you were clingy, then you were ignoring me, then you started dating that douchebag from Carmel, then you lied about dating him. Then you lied about having sex with him. And you triple cast the role of your lover in the video for glee club. Yeah, musically promiscuous. Right. You've never been anything but a one man kind of woman."

"Why is that such a bad thing? Why was it so bad to love one person at a time?"

"Because you kept lying about it. You never loved Jesse, Rachel. You know it and I know it. He was simply a tool for you to make me feel jealous. To make yourself feel wanted," he added strongly. "I mean, you think I was bad with Quinn? That was nothing compared to what you put me and Jesse through."

"Oh, the things I put you through? Well, have no fear, Finn Hudson," she said, tears of anger leaking from the corners of her eyes, "I won't be putting you through anything tonight. I think the bedroom is going to be overcrowded, seeing as all of my multiple personalities and your baby all have to be in one room, you might as well sleep on the couch."

"You're kicking me out of my own bedroom? Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. I can't … you're being so completely pigheaded about this whole situation. Maybe San just needs some time …"

"They've been together longer than we have, Rachel! Is it so hard for you to imagine that when a man loves a woman he should tell her?"

"Is it so hard to imagine that she might not be ready to hear it?" Rachel asked. "Not everyone is like you, Finn. Not everyone can just lay their heart on the line hoping that it will all work out."

"Obviously," Finn spat. "I still can't believe you didn't trust me when I told you I loved you."

"I can't believe you're still dwelling on that. I gave you my reasoning and I'm sure Santana has her own. It's not like Noah's ever really been faithful. I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl he's never cheated on," she added, a little too smugly for Finn's liking.

"That's my best friend you're talking about," he said in a warning voice. "He's different now than when we were in high school."

"Clearly," she scoffed as she pulled her hands from her hips and crossed them over her swollen stomach. "Now he shouts curse words and I love yous in the same sentence and thinks that's the way to win over Santana. Santana. She's fragile, Finn."

"And he's not? He poured his soul out to her. He's been trying to tell her for years and he hadn't because he didn't want to push her. The man just wants love."

"Then maybe someone should give it to him. And clearly you're in touch with your feelings of love and affection and you know exactly how he feels since I didn't tell you immediately that I was in love with you too …"

"Oh my God! Just shut up! I can't – I can't handle this," he told her as he marched to the dresser and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. "You've lost your mind. I don't know if it's hormones or what, but I just cannot deal with this or you," he added as he grabbed his wallet and left the bedroom.

"And where do you think you're going, Finn Hudson? It's nearing eleven at night."

"I'm going somewhere to not fight. I'm so sick of you thinking you always know what's best for everyone. Damnit, Rachel. You. Do. Not. Know. Everything," he concluded, grabbing his keys form the hook in the foyer and storming out of the house, slamming the door heavily behind him.

Rachel stood there for a moment, staring at the spot he'd just been standing in, tears coursing down her cheeks.

He's never walked out on her before.

"Rachel?" she heard a voice from behind her.

She hastily wiped away her tears and turned back to her friend with a huge, fake smile plastered across her face. "Oh! Santana. I, I, uh, I'm sorry that we were so loud. Didn't mean to wake you."

"Rach," Santana said softly, stepping forward to wipe a tear from her friend's face. "Are you okay?"

Rachel forced another smile and nodded quickly, trying to hold the tears in. "Just fine. Finn wanted a milkshake …"

"I'm not your daughter, Rachel. You don't have to lie to me. I heard everything."

"I'm sorry," Rachel whispered in response. "I didn't mean for you to …"

"Don't you dare apologize to me! You didn't do anything wrong," the Latina insisted. She moved closer and wrapped her arms around her friend. "It's all going to work out."

"I don't know about that, San," Rachel said with a sad shake of her head. "He's never walked out on me before. What if this was it? What if this is the moment I've been waiting for? What if he's realized I'm just too hard to deal with and he doesn't come back?" she cried. "What if I've lost him forever?"

"You haven't," Santana said confidently as she gripped Rachel's biceps and pushed her back a bit. "Just like I know I haven't lost Puck forever."

"How?" the smaller girl asked quietly.

"Because I have no doubt that he loves me. I've known for a while. It's just … if I say it back he has all the power in the world to hurt me. I've been hurt by him before. Hell, he fucked Quinn and any number of other girls since we've been together."

"You weren't exactly faithful either," Rachel reminded her friend gently.

"I know. Because I couldn't allow myself to get angry at him for doing something I was doing as well. Sleeping with random guys was my way of protecting my heart. If nobody, namely Puck, had it, nobody, again, namely Puck, could break it," Santana shrugged.

"He wouldn't," her friend replied. "You know that, right?"

"He's done it before. Like you said … why should I trust that he wouldn't do it again?"

Rachel let out a wet sigh and wrapped her arms around Santana. "We'll make it through this."

"Together," Santana added. "Me and you against the world, right?"

"Yeah," Rachel whispered, knowing that, in her mind, Puck and Finn constituted the world. "We're gonna make it after all."

Santana laughed and Rachel ignored the teary sound of it. "Okay, Mary Tyler Moore. Off to bed. We don't want that baby getting overtired."

Rachel smiled and took Santana's hand. "Thank you for being here."

"Thank you for letting me be here," Santana said softly before pressing her lips to Rachel's cheek. "Go to sleep and we'll worry about them in the morning."

Rachel nodded, whispered good night, and retreated to her room. Santana stood there for a moment, staring at the door, willing her friend's husband to come back in. After about five minutes she shook her head sadly and retreated to the guest room.

-x-

"Women are fucking insane,' Finn said as he let himself into Puck's apartment. He didn't bother to knock for two reasons. One, what was the point of having a key if you couldn't just walk in? And two, he knew his best friend would be so shitfaced he probably wouldn't be able to make it to the door without braining himself on the end table or something.

"No fucking kidding," Puck slurred.

Finn shook his head. "Dude."

"Right?"

"Night," the taller man replied as he made his way to the guest room.

Puck hoisted himself from the couch and retreated to his own room.

They could deal with the rest of the shit in the morning after another beer or two, a Gatorade and some greasy bacon.

..xo..

Dedicated, of course, to all the ladies over on Skype who are endlessly helpful and kind and inspiring. Just know that this story would not be happening without your support and encouragement. And, tjcrowfoot, thank you for being the best sounding board ever.