Need You Now

EPOV

I might have woken up with more hope, but I also woke up missing Bella one hundred times more. I still felt where she had been in my arms and had pressed her lips to mine, but now I realized that it wasn't even really her. A single tear built up in my eye, but I quickly blinked it away.

I laid there for a while, letting myself doze off every now and then. I tried to entertain myself with the T.V. again, but it couldn't keep my attention. Nothing seemed to. I eventually got up and went to the kitchen. No one was up yet and the Cullens were nowhere to be found, so I grabbed a clean bowl and spoon from the strainer next to the sink. I ate a bowl of cereal and put the dish in the sink before anyone woke up or came in.

I went back into the living room, but I didn't sit down on the couch. Instead, I walked over to one of the windows and looked outside. I hadn't realized it the whole time I had been here, but the living room faced the ocean. The sun was rising, tinting the water a soft pink or red, and the waves gently rolled onto the beach. There was a huge piece of driftwood a ways down the beach, where the forest almost touched the sand, and I unconsciously decided to go out to it. I only realized what I was doing when I found myself making a sandwich in the kitchen and heading for the door.

I mentally shrugged and walked out carrying my lunch in a Ziploc. There was a soft, chilly breeze blowing off the ocean and I lifted my shoulders higher to block my ears. I walked slowly, not really having anywhere to go. I thought I was heading towards the log, but my eyes wandered to the cliff coming out of the forest a ways away from me. I decided to just go, not caring where I ended up.

The trek to the cliff took about an hour at my pace, the trees thick at first but quickly thinning as I got closer. When I broke through the trees, the sun was half way up the sky. The ocean had lost its red-pink tint and the breeze was warmer. The air smelled like salt and I could hear the waves brushing the cliff face below. I kept walking until I was about five feet from the edge and sat down, cross-legged.

I let my thoughts take over after that, letting them start and having others take over, mentally watching as they crashed into each other over and over again. I let my mind wander, my vision unfocused and blurry. I didn't think about anything important, and couldn't remember the last thing that had crossed my mind when I bothered to try.

I watched the sun reach its peak and slowly start its decent back down to the horizon. Sometime during that period I ate, but I couldn't say when. It was just a motion to go through. My body told my mind I needed food, so that's what I gave it. There was no thought from me, just motion.

The wind was getting cold again when my leg started cramping and I straightened them out. I brought one knee to my chest and crossed the other back under me. I rested my chin on my knee with my hands underneath, my fingers threaded together. I didn't notice anyone nearby until the kid from the clearing sat down next to me. Jacob, my mind decided, and I just went with it.

"Hey," he said, sounding slightly uncomfortable. I turned my head slightly, mostly just turning my eyes, to look at him. He was looking at me strangely, but I couldn't get myself to care. I turned back before I answered.

"Hi." My voice was short, but my mind was occupying itself with memories from just a few days before. The ones where he and his friends had almost killed Bella. It must have shown on my face because he shifted uncomfortably.

"I…I'm sorry. You know…about what happened." He paused, but I didn't respond so he continued on.

"I don't like putting it this way, but killing vampires is what we do. When vampires start coming around is the only reason any of us is able to change. We protect our kind and the humans. What you did…it's never crossed any of our minds that a human would ever do that, or know what they are and still be human. Or alive." He paused again, seeming to try to find where his train of thought was going. I still said nothing.

"I talked to Leah yesterday, after she talked to you. She told me everything you told her and I think you're right. The reason we can't understand is because it's never happened to us. I mean, Sam is married, but there's never been a situation where he's actually had to decide between his life and hers. Everyone knows he would give up his own, but the fact that he's never had to do it…maybe that's what makes all the difference." I turned my head and looked at him, seeing a look of desperation on his face. It looked like he was begging me to say something, maybe so he wouldn't feel guilty. I just turned my head back towards the cliff edge and nodded once.

"Why didn't he listen to you? Why didn't he let her go sooner?" I asked, barely moving my mouth to form the words. He sighed and put one hand over his eyes.

"The pack isn't…exactly as…organized as it's been in the past. Sam was the alpha, but then we found out that I had inherited the position. I really didn't want it, so we are kind of sharing it at the moment. The only problem is that Sam was used to being the boss. When he changes, he tends to forget our agreement. We try not to boss each other, but I'm supposed to have power over him. He got a little riled up and decided he wasn't going to listen." I felt my gaze narrow.

"He came up to me while we were looking for information. He said the recent attacks and then finding a vampire kind of got to him." He paused, seeming to be thinking of something else to say. I was hoping he wouldn't, but of course he did.

"None of us have heard of this prophecy since we were told the story as kids. We never thought anything of it, though. It was just a campfire story to us. 'There will be one, one different from the others, whose power will be the humanity that should have been lost. They will vanquish the rebel, only by destroying what links them. The blood promise will be fulfilled and the worlds will settle once more.'" He gave a half-laugh. "It's not much of a story, but dad would always make something up and use that as the ending. He kept telling us only the ending was real, but we never believed him. I guess we should have." He stopped again, bending his knees so he could rest his arms on them. I just kept looking at the ocean, watching the sun's slow descent.

"Why have you been sitting out here all day? I thought you'd be in the house until she woke up," he asked quietly. I didn't do anything for a few seconds, but then I shrugged. He waited for some other response, but I didn't give any.

"I think you know. I think you just don't want to say it. You can tell me, you know. I owe you at least that much after everything that's happened." I still didn't respond, letting my vision focus and blur over and over again. He waited for a while, not saying anything else. After a while, it looked like he was going to get up to leave.

"I had a dream last night," I whispered. He stopped and turned back to me, taking his previous position. My vision blurred and I kept it that way as I summarized everything that had happened, everything she told me, how she could see and talk, and how it felt like I had actually been holding her. I told him that she said she would be waking up today.

"Why does it seem like you're moping when she told you she would be waking up?" he asked, voicing my own subconscious question. I shrugged and slowly shook my head.

"I don't…I don't know. It makes no sense, but I can't get myself to care about anything. I think seeing her and feeling her near me, and then waking up and knowing she really wasn't there at all…that it could have just been a dream that I created by myself…I woke up with so much hope this morning after that, but it just evaporated as soon as I was fully awake. I think it just made everything worse, knowing that I could be that desperate." I never cleared my vision the whole time, and still didn't when I was done.

"Maybe you shouldn't be so pessimistic. After everything that you've found out about her, does her being able to find her way into someone's dream seem so far-fetched?" he said, turning his head towards me. I thought about it for a moment, pushing my useless thoughts back where they came from, before I answered him.

"If I'm too optimistic…I take the risk of losing her for a second time. I already feel like I lost her once. I don't want to go through that again," I whispered, not trusting myself to speak aloud. We stayed quiet for a few minutes before he broke it.

"Why does it sound like you've lost more than just her?" he asked, trying, and failing, to be as non-intrusive as possible. I answered anyway, not caring what I told him anymore.

"I have. My parents, and up until I met Bella, my legs." I paused there and glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He had a confused look on his face and looked like he was fighting with himself not to ask.

"We were in a car accident. Both of them died at the scene and I was paralyzed from the waist down. Bella gave me back my ability to walk." I paused before I continued. "And she was my first real friend outside of the Cullens." Jacob nodded slowly.

"So you've been sitting out here waiting to see what's going to happen?" I shrugged.

"I guess I wanted to distract myself from what was going on. I haven't really thought about anything all day. I've just been sitting here," I said quietly. I shivered slightly as a stronger breeze blew off the water. The sun was almost completely down and I could feel myself getting tired again. Jacob stood up and dusted himself off.

"Well, I don't really want to leave you here alone, but I've got patrols to do. You're safe here anyway. If anything shows up we'll know about it." I shivered again, a little more forcefully. "Maybe you should start heading back to the house. It's only going to get colder now." I nodded once after a second and he offered his hand. I took it and he pulled me up.

"I will, I guess. See you around," I said. I stuck my hands in my pockets and turned towards the house. I turned back around quickly, thinking of something. "What is that blood promise thing you mentioned? Do you know what it is?" I asked. He shook his head.

"That's something only she knows, and only she can tell you." He shrugged and I nodded. I was half way back when I heard a loud sound, like something being ripped apart, and whipped around.

A huge russet colored wolf was sitting where Jacob had been, its gaze trained on me. He turned his head to the side, like he was confused, but straightened it and lowered it half way to the ground before running into the woods. There was a loud howling and a few others answered, the noises sounding like a greeting. Everything quieted down and I turned, heading for the log instead of the house.

The wood was smooth and curved up at the end farthest on the beach. There was no sign of bark or splinters anywhere on it and I sat down, using the curving spot as a recliner. I put one leg up on the log and let the other one fall off the side onto the sand. I let my head fall back onto the wood and sighed as the breeze grew a little more constant. I hiked my shoulders up and crossed my arms over my chest.

The bottom of the sun touched the horizon when the wolves started howling again. I felt something, a tightening in my chest, like something had changed as they howled. I just pulled both of my legs up to my chest and sat there.

I asked myself why I was being so pessimistic about Bella's recovery and let my mind sift through its contents to find an answer. The only one that popped up was a memory from the hospital before Carlisle offered to let me live with him and his family. The one where I overheard them talking about telling me that my parents had died.

It had been the first time I was really awake after the accident, and I couldn't remember anything from the accident to there. I knew I had woken up before then, but Carlisle told me I had been on so many pain meds that it was very likely that I would never remember that time. But I knew I had shut down after that. Hearing the news the way I did and then finding out about my legs in the same moment had killed me inside. Knowing Bella might be gone was like hearing that all over again and it brought back the old me. The pre-Bella me. The depressed me.

I sighed again and rested my forehead against my arms, which were now draped across my knees. I still had that…feeling in my chest, but I ignored it. Bringing back that memory had made things worse, but it did bring something else up. It made me think about Danni and her mom, how they were doing after so long. I promised myself I would ask Carlisle after everything was done about her surgery, and maybe where she ended up.

I jumped as a hand landed lightly on my shoulder and a shiver went down my spine. I opened my eyes slowly, waiting for whoever it was to say something, but they didn't. I started raising my head and their hand left, sliding off my shoulder like a feather. My heart rate sped up as I looked at who was with me, my gaze starting at the person's feet and moving up. I got to the blood spatters on their jeans and my heart sped up even more. The slashes in the shirt and the large blood stains that wrapped around towards the person's back made me think my heart was going to stop. What made my gaze shoot up to her face were the dog tags around her neck. They were blood-covered, but there was no mistaking who it was.

Bella stood just a foot behind me, dark bruises under her golden eyes. Her shirt was shredded, but there was white beneath it. She was covered in blood and whatever the white was had dried blood in lines going down it. I guessed it had been Carlisle trying to stop her from losing any more, and that they were bandages.

I slowly unfolded myself and sat up, not able to take my eyes off her. I stood up, but she didn't move. She had a sad look on her face, and I could see her eyes searching for mine in the dimming light. I took the step separating us and she tensed, her eyes turning careful and wary. I felt my heart fall into my stomach as I reached for her cheek with my hand and she flinched. She didn't move away, but she flinched.

"Bella," I whispered gently, sadly. She closed her eyes tightly and a tear escaped. I gently wiped it away with my thumb while tears welled up in my own eyes.

"Bella, what's wrong?" She shook her head fiercely and turned away from me. I let my hand fall to my side and my chest tightened. "Bella…" I whispered again, my voice threatening to break. She slowly turned back to me, but I didn't reach out to her again.

I could have killed you, Edward. Why did you do that? She signed slowly. I shook my head.

"Is that why you're acting like this?" I asked gently. "That's a risk I've been taking ever since I said yes to living with Carlisle and then others," I said, trying with all my might to get her to see it. She shook her head again.

Why? She asked again. I sighed and ran both of my hands through my hair.

"Instinct," I whispered, mentally kicking myself for such a stupid answer. "I saw you were hurt and I knew the only way I could help you was to…do that. So that's what I did. I wasn't going to just let you die, Bella." Tears were streaming down her face now, and the sight of them made me feel like someone was trying to rip my heart out. I wanted to take the step between us and wrap my arms around her, but I didn't. Not while she was like this. I was going to fix this and then I was never going to let her go. Bella was shaking her head again when I got myself out of my thoughts.

That's not the only reason, she signed. You know it and so do I. I sighed again, getting more frustrated.

"What do you want me to say, Bella? Any way I put it is going to make it sound like I've been using you, and you know that's not true. You helped me get Tanya off my back before we really even knew each other, you listen to me when I rant on and on about nothing, you are my only real friend besides the others, you gave me back my legs, and…" I paused, my voice failing me. She looked at me, her eyes soft and patient, but she still wasn't moving anywhere near me. She was still tensed, but not like she had been. I tried to compose myself, taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly, while she waited. I backed up and sat on the log and she stayed where she was.

"I felt like it was happening all over again," I whispered. "Not at that time, but later, when I thought about what happened, I felt like I was losing everything I had all over again. I wasn't thinking about anything but saving you when I did that, and I don't regret it at all. I could never regret saving you. If I had warned you in the first place, it never would have happened anyway. My stupidity almost got you killed, so the only thing I could have done was give my life to make up for it."

I was looking at the ground, watching my tears change the color of the sand as they fell. I didn't look up when I heard her coming towards me and I closed my eyes when she kneeled down in front of me. I put the heels of my hands in my eyes, trying to push back the tears that threatened to pour out. She slowly wrapped her hands around my wrists and pulled them away from my face. The tears immediately fell as she laid my hands on my knees. She tentatively placed her hands on either side of my face and wiped at my tears. I opened my eyes as she gently raised my head. She let go with one hand and kept the other on my face so I wouldn't turn away.

You felt the same way about me that you did about your parents? She signed slowly. I didn't answer, my breath hitching as her question brought the feelings back. The look on her face told me I still hadn't answered with what she knew she should be hearing, and I knew what I was hiding, but her next statement shocked me.

I know why I would have done it if I was in your place. And I also know it's the real reason you saved me, she signed. My breath hitched again as she leaned closer.

It doesn't have to do with what you've done for me, even though that helps, nor would it be natural instinct. She leaned forward until her mouth lightly touched mine and then pulled back. My vision swam with the contact, but I blinked until it cleared.

I would do it because you are the best friend I have ever had, and because I love you with everything I am. With that, she pressed her lips against mine and put her free hand back on the side of my face. It took me a few seconds to respond and it felt like even shorter than that before I had to breathe.

I turned my head to the side slightly, gasping for breath. Bella stood up and sat next to me, not taking her hands from my face. I put my hands over hers.

"I love you too, Bella. I do," I kept repeating, showering her face with small kisses while she smiled.

I gasped and froze when my vision changed with hers, showing a small, glowing line connecting the two of us. I looked at Bella and saw a glowing outline around her, seeming to be where the line started. I looked down at myself and saw the same. The line seemed to go from my heart to hers, braiding itself with the line coming from her in the middle. I looked up at Bella to see her laughing silently, the silver glow filling her body. Her eyes were completely black a silver dot where her pupil should have been. She took her hands out from under mine and my vision faded back to normal. I looked at her, confused, and she smiled.

Remember when I saved you? When I had to put your soul back? She asked. I nodded, almost forgetting about that experience. That's what I had to use to do it. I can see souls, like I just showed you. I nodded in understanding.

"What was that line then?" I asked, turning on the log so I had one leg on each side and my back was against the bend in the log again. Bella did the same, moving closer so that our knees touched. She took my hand in her and shook her head, the smile still on her face.

I haven't seen it there before, but I think you know what it is, Edward, or at least what it means. Are you just wanting me to say it? She asked.

"Hmm…Maybe," I said slowly. She smirked and crawled up onto my lap, sitting sideways. She kissed my lips as my hands caught her hips, keeping her from sliding off.

It means, my love, she started, pulling back so I could see her hand. I have found my soul mate, and you, yours. I smiled and chuckled, shifting her until she was laying on me. She was on her stomach, her face just under my chin.

"I thought so," I whispered, bringing my face to hers. I felt her smile as I kissed her and my heart leapt with joy.

We stayed there most of the night, Bella rolling onto her back so she could see the moon rise. We found out it was easier for her to see at night, the blackness and the bright light of the full moon the kind of contrast that made her feel like she could actually see. Everything but me, that is, but it was a start. It was around midnight before we finally went to the house, Bella so exhausted that I carried her. She let it slip that she wasn't supposed to have left the house at all, but Alice and Rose helped her sneak out. I just laughed, took her in my arms, and we slept on the couch, my arms around her and her head on my chest. I hadn't slept that good in what felt like a long time.

A/N: Another successful update! For the third week in a row! I can't believe it!!! But I hate making you guys wait when you are always telling me how much you like it, so I guess you could thank yourselves for this.

So, Bella is awake again. If it was a little confusing, I will clarify it right now. She was insecure after her first time drinking from a human, especially since it was from him. That's basically it, but feel free to ask questions if you have them. I wasn't even planning on that happening just yet, but there it is.

The song for this chapter is Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. Like it, even though it is being played waaaaaay too much on the radio. Apparently they haven't learned that that's how songs get ruined… Oh, well…

Please review! :)