Jim sat in the hotel bar after an exhausting but exhilarating day walking round Sydney. He didn't think that anything would take his mind off Pam for the next day or so but the sights and sounds of being somewhere so vibrant and different managed to keep his brain occupied. There were moments he thought of her, especially when he first saw the harbour bridge and the opera house, he imagined how much Pam would want to draw that scene, maybe with Jim sat as a small figure in the foreground, just admiring the amazing view. It was hard not to see her in everything but he was trying like his life depended on it. Sometimes he felt like that was truer than he could ever imagine.
He ordered another drink and stared into the liquid amber he rarely drank. He tapped his fingernail on the side and watched as the surface of the water rippled slightly.
"You know there are better instruments to play than your drink. Also ones that are slightly less annoying." Spoke a female Australian voice behind him. Jim turned and found a woman only a little shorter and a little younger than he was with long black hair that stretched down to her waist. Her skin was tanned and her eyes were a milky shade of brown. He sat up straight to reply and realised how much he must have been slumped over. He expect her to be annoyed but she was smiling as she took a seat next to him.
"Well they were all sold out of didgeridoos so..." he flashed the best smile he could despite his grey mood and was pleased for the company.
"Yeah, I guess we don't have the best musical reputation but we did give you Kylie so no complaints." She ordered a strong cocktail from the bar. "Is it bad to order a drink just because it looks pretty in the picture?"
"Yeah, you must be really shallow to judge a drink on how it looks." he pulled a face of faux judgement.
"Really, and what should I judge a drink on American boy?" she flicked her hair back and gave him an inquisitive smile.
"It's what's inside that counts." He picked up his drink and held it to the light, "In my case, it's all about alcohol content." She laughed and Jim smiled. At this moment he felt a little less alone. They were quiet for a moment until the dark haired woman was presented with her drink.
"Wow! That is a pretty drink, very girly, if it was a person it would be very blonde and very sparkly."
She laughed, "Not my type but..." she sipped, "...delicious none the less. Maybe I should try them more!" Jim cocked an eyebrow at the 'not-my-type' comment but offered his drink to clink.
"Cheers." They both drank again, Jim took a bigger gulp than he probably should have and it took his breath away slightly. He spluttered and coughed a bit.
"You ok? I'm Sarah by the way." She held out a hand to shake.
"Jim." He took her hand and shook it; she had really long fingers like she played the piano.
"So, where you from Jim?"
"Scranton, actually no, I'm moving as soon as I get back so I'm now from Stamford, Conneticut." His stomach turned as he was reminded of the reason he wasn't from Scranton anymore. "Are you from around here?"
"Yeah, I live and work in the city. I'm supposed to be meeting my sister who works here but she's probably fallen in love with another guest again, we moved here two years ago from Brisbane. "
"Wow, your move was much more exciting than mine, I bet your job is cool too."
"Yeah, it is actually! Come on, so why the alcohol content? Doesn't seem like you're use to it?" She leant one elbow on the bar and looked softly at him like she was really ready to listen.
"I am not having a good day, well, month really."
"You came to the bar to get away from it, to forget?"
"I came to Australia to forget about it." He watched as he swirled his drink around and took another gulp as Pam surfaced in his mind again.
"Wow, you're not a fugitive are you?"
He smiled and shook his head, "No. Definitely not a fugitive." He paused; she seemed to be letting him take a moment to think about how much he wanted to say. "My best friend is getting married in a few hours and... I'm in love with her, very much." He gulped hard and stared intently at his drink.
"Have you told her?"
"Yep."
"Ah." Sarah placed her hand on Jim's shoulder but he hardly felt it.
"Yeah."
"How are you coping?"
"Better than this morning actually, I just want this day to be over and for Pam to be happy but I can't watch her be happy, it's too hard, we work at the same place. That's why I'm moving."
"Yeah, that's pretty much torture. My ex ended up quitting a couple of months after we broke up. At first I missed her crazy mess of red curls bouncing around all day with all this energy, but when I found out why she quit I knew she'd tried to spare me the pain."
"She found someone else?"
"No, well, sort of, we broke up because I don't want kids and now she's pregnant." Sarah looked so sad as she told this perfect stranger her most intimate pain. "Three years we were together and within six months she's pregnant and happy without me. I wonder how much I ever meant, you know?" She smiled and took a drink. "I'm sorry, you're down in the dumps enough, I should be cheering you up." She tried a smile but it fell quickly.
"Misery loves company and your misery is right up there on the misery scale." Jokes were the only thing he could think of to console her, he knew that facing up to emotions wasn't something he did often, if at all.
"I guess I'm just one dead dog away from the American big leagues!" she tried to joke in return but Jim could tell it hurt.
"Let me buy you a drink that's beautiful on the inside, there's got to be a shot that's about 50% proof." Jim got the attention of the bartender and ordered their strongest shot.
"Only if you join me." She nudged his shoulder playfully.
"That's a deal."
The bartender poured them two shots of luminious blue liquid. They both stared at the drinks in awe.
"We should toast something." Sarah suggested.
"What should we toast?"
"To someone who's more pathetic than we are, there must be someone, someone who makes you feel good because their life is just awful and you wouldn't want to be them." Jim thought for a moment then raised his glass.
"To Michael Scott!"
"Who?"
"Drink, and I'll explain just the edited highlights of one Michael Gary Scott, regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton."
"You work for a place called Dunder Mifflin? That has to be the worst brand name I've ever heard, what is it?"
"We sell... um, things. Exciting things." He bluffed, making her guess. "Come on, you're delaying the inevitable. To Michael Scott!"
"To Michael Scott!" they both down their drinks and emerged coughing, spluttering and gasping for air.
"Holy Shrute, I think we just drank gasoline and lava." Jim spluttered.
"Yup, I think I'm either gonna die or throw up that lava, which is a worse fate?"
"It's fifty-fifty."
"One more please." Requested Sarah sweetly. Their drink were filled and they raised another toast.
"Who's in your life will you toast?"
"Oh my gosh, it has to be my high school science teacher, he's forty-five and still thinks his band is going to be discovered! Lives with his brother in a one bed apartment and I'm pretty sure his last relationship left with some STD."
"That's just so wrong."
"To Nick Forrester and his penis!"
"Nick Forrester and... yeah!" They downed them both and they both fell about laughing as they spluttered and coughed for a second time. "Doesn't get easier, does it?" Their reverie was
interrupted by the young bartender.
"We're closing in half an hour guys, last drink?"
"Another blue thing!" Shouted Sarah, almost throwing herself off her chair in excitement.
"No!" She held on to Jim arm to steady herself and he fondly remembered the Dundies from a year ago. Although Sarah was very different to Pam, he somehow felt he'd gotten to know and like her.
"I'd like a pretty drink though." She grabbed the cocktail menu and ordered a tequila sunrise. "Jen was red head, well, brown, but in the sun it turned red. She was so beautiful, this drink looks like her."
"I'll join you then." Jim didn't say how much he loved Pam's copper curls and how much he thought about her when the sun rose every weekday morning. Maybe this drink was Pam too.
They sat sipping their drinks and continued talking as people slowly filtered out and the staff went through their usual night time routine. Jim regaled her with tales of the office which Sarah was sure he was exaggerating. He told her about Michael's crush on the temp, how he ended up handcuffed during one of the company excursions and the time he cooked his own foot. In return she told him about the tragic high-school science teacher with dubious life goals.
"You're really going to miss that boss when you've had a boring one for a while, who knew selling paper could be so exciting."
"You would make a great saleswoman for a third-rate, failing, paper supplier in Pennsylvania, there is a vacancy. How could you turn down such an opportunity?"
"Easy, I work at the Opera House."
Jim raised his eyebrows and his jaw fell open, "Really?"
"Yup, I'm part of a small team that organise events for children, trips, summer activities, education, workshops, all that kinda kit. It's just brilliant work."
"Can you get me a job?" he joked.
"Ha! Maybe, how's your knowledge of opera and theatre?"
"I'll learn, hell, I've learnt everything there is to know about paper quick enough. Ok, there's not that much to learn."
"Would you like a behind the scenes tour? I'm free the day after tomorrow for the whole morning, I can show you round and give you the inside scoop."
"Oh my god, I would love that! Thanks so much, Sarah." This is the kind of thing he needed to look forward to, new people and new experiences.
"Anything to see you smile, I feel like we're kindred spirits tonight." She put her hand on Jim's and gave it a squeeze.
"Yeah, me too."
Sarah looked at her watch, "I should get going, I've got work tomorrow." She genuinely looked disappointed.
"I'm so glad you came in here tonight, I really didn't know how I was going to... well, not think about Pam all the time."
"Are you going to be ok until 4am?"
"Yeah," Jim looked unconvincingly at his feet as his stomach tied in an enormous knot, "I'm still jetlagged, maybe I'll fall asleep."
"Do you want me to come up?"
"What?"
"I mean, just to talk, I know if Jen was in labour right now I'd just want someone to sit it out with me, see what it's like when your world has changed forever but you're still ok. Like nothing physical has happened, but things will never be the same again." That summed up how Jim felt, his whole world was changing.
"I have decaf coffee in my room, if you'd like." Jim rubbed the back of his neck nervously, he really wasn't ready to be alone yet and having Sarah around was a comfort.
"Yeah, I'd like that." Sarah took Jim's arm and gave it an affectionate squeeze. They rode up in the lift to the fourth floor and entered Jim's room. "You know you'll be ok, Jim, there's a future for you."
"For you too Sarah, I'm so sorry the way the last six months have been for you, you deserve some luck."
"If it could come in the form of lottery tickets that would be great." She idly picked up Jim's boomerang, "God, you Americans are such tourists!"
"I dare you to go to Scranton and not come back with mounted lump of coal from the coal mine!" Sarah snorted and hopped on the bed.
Jim picked up his cell phone and switched it on briefly to collect messages. It wouldn't connect to a local network. It was gone 2am and he suddenly felt very far from home.
"I just can't believe that it's really over, you know, there's this evil voice inside of me that is creating all these ways it'll work out and, and we'll be together, I just can't imagine anyone else but Pam being the person I... damnit, I was doing so well and now I can't stop going over it again."
"It's ok Jim, maybe all the distractions tonight was causing you to bottle it up."
"I just can't get my head round not getting to hold her, to kiss her, I want to sleep beside her and wake up next to her, I want to watch her draw and see how many different ways I can make her smile. I can't comprehend that it'll never happen." Jim's voice broke and his eyes began to redden. "I love her so much, and she'll never..." Sarah stood up and held him as he released everything he felt, the hurt and the loss. His voice was muffled in her shoulder. "She kissed me back, I know she feels something. That's what's killing me..." His tears began to flow against his will but encouraged by the kindness of the woman holding him. Sarah guided him to the bed and they lay next to each other. Sarah let him lay his head on his shoulder as he finally let himself be overwhelmed. An hour later Jim felt a strange calm and quietness replaced the sudden flood of pain. He felt empty but without feeling hollow like he sometimes did. It was a moment of clarity, he felt like he might actually survive this. Soon Jim fell asleep and 4am came and went.
...
If Jim's phone had connected, he would have found sixty-five text messages waiting for him. Twenty of them were from Kelly.
Long Jim chapter there but I wanted him to make a friend and not be a complete wreck. He's not that in touch with his feelings so Sarah's given him a push. I like that during this night, Pam made the decision to call off the wedding and go to him. His life has changed but he doesn't quite know how yet, it's certainly not how he's thinking. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and we'll be back checking in with Pam's progress in the next chapter!