Here's an update. My aim is to get this story finished asap, this is my priority over Breathless until it's done. It's going to feel so good to check the completed box on this one. This is a short chapter but the next few will be longer.

Jim made it back to his room and collapsed on the bed. He toed off his shoes and socks and let his blistered feet breathe. Everything ached and he just wanted to go home. He just wanted to feel less alone. His cell phone was still useless so he reached over for the hotel phone and dialled.

"Hello?"

"It's Jim."

"Hey bro! How's Australia?" Came the overly cheerful voice of his older brother Tom. "Banged a Sheila?" Jim regretted his choice immediately. His mom would have been a better choice. Hell, Michael or Dwight would have been a better choice.

"Tom, I need you to be less of an idiot right now." He tried for terse but he sounded more desperate than anything.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do this, I thought she was here." His voice caught at the end but he didn't think his brother noticed. He closed his eyes tight and tried not to lose it.

"Pam?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?" Tom actually did sound serious, that frightened Jim a bit but he needed it.

"I thought I saw her, I got hit by a car-"

"Oh my god, are you in hospital?"

"No, no, no, I just got some scrapes and bruises. I went up to this random woman who didn't even look like her in the end. I feel like I'm losing it man, I don't know what to do."

"Oh man, I don't know what to say, I'm not good at this kinda thing."

"I know, I just figured you'd be up and you're less of an ass than Pete and Larissa is in Mexico."

"I'm flattered." He responded dryly. "You'll get through this, I mean, you've been in love before and had it not work out."

There was a long silence.

"You were with Jess for over a year in college, didn't you love her?"

"Ugh." He rubbed his head. "I wasn't with her for a year. When I came home one thanksgiving I was with Jess Inglewood and then the next Thanksgiving I was with Jess Parker, I didn't
get passed the three month mark with either of them. When I said I was with Jess mom assumed it was the same girl and she was so excited, she told me she had nightmares about me dying alone."

"That sounds like mom; she wanted me to propose to crazy Lily after six dates so she wouldn't have to worry if anything happened to her. Emotional blackmail expert."

"Yeah, I had to convince her I had a return ticket in case I didn't come home."

"So Pam's the first girl you've been in love with?" Jim could hear the discomfort in his tone but he really needed to talk.

"Yep."

"You're not, like, still a virgin are you?"

"Jesus, Tom!"

"Ok, ok, less idiot, more supportive. Why'd you have to call me?" He groaned.

"I really don't know." Jim sighed.

"Well, what have you been up to, you can't just waste your time out there."

"I've been exploring, met a girl named Sarah-"

"Whoooo, so you have found a Sheila!" He hollered down the phone.

"Trust me, I'm not her type, she's gonna show me round the Opera House tomorrow, she works there so it'll be a behind the scenes thing."

"Bro, that sounds amazing. The world keeps turning, man. Tomorrow is another day." Jim was hoping for more than platitudes but at least he was a familiar voice.

"Well today sucked. I just, I don't know how to get past this." He wasn't sure if he could get past this.

"Is Sarah hot?"

Jim resisted the urge to hang up even though he couldn't think of a single reason why he shouldn't.

"You're married with kids."

"So? You've gotta live while you're young, you're in Australia, you're not tied down, you're free to do as you please. Enjoy this experience while you can. Don't regret anything."

"I know, I just feel so lost."

"Go out tomorrow with Sarah, have a great time, that's a once in a lifetime opportunity and maybe you'll make a new friend."

"I guess, she's great to talk to and I guess I'll only be here once." He reasoned, maybe if he just kept moving and doing things it would get easier. Less time to think. Keep busy.

"That's the spirit! And maybe she'll even give you a pity roll in the hay."

"And you were doing so well for a moment there." Jim rubbed at his temples. "I've gotta go, this is costing me a fortune."

"Ok bro, I won't mention this to mom."

"Appreciate that."

"Keep your chin up, time heals all wounds."

If he didn't die from infection before then, he thought sadly. He figured he shouldn't share that particular thought with his brother.

"Yeah, I'll call you when I'm home."

"I'd feel better about that if you didn't sound so miserable."

"I'll be ok, I'm going to go out again and enjoy being here. Maybe I'll give Sarah a call, see if she wants dinner or I'll go to a sports bar or something."

"Good man, speak to you soon, Bro."

"Bye Tom."

Jim hung up and leapt off the bed before the silence had the chance to hit him. One thing Tom said had made sense, he shouldn't regret not making the most of this trip. He would never
regret telling Pam how he felt even if the outcome crushed him, it would be so much worse if she never knew. He'd never regret kissing her because it would be the only real kiss they'd ever have. He didn't really expect it to turn out this badly but the regret would have tortured him. It would be another few hours before Sarah finished work, enough time to book the bridge walk. No regrets.

Pam's flight touches down next chapter. Finally!