Elsie was almost good friends with insomnia now. After all of these years it was only natural. Although she had frequently professed the value of a good night's sleep to her housemaids it was very rarely she actually set a good example herself. The difference on this particular night was that she didn't actually want to be awake. For one thing, she was exhausted and had twice this week felt the need to slip off in the middle of the afternoon for a quick nap- heaven help her if she had been discovered. Also, she wanted to escape her train of thought, which was even more often slipping off the straight and narrow tracks of the wholesome. It was not as if she was fully fantasizing, no, nothing as torrid as that, but then her thoughts hadn't exactly been what you'd call proper either.
She wondered how he would react if she went to him. He wouldn't be angry, surely? But then nor could she imagine him being pleased, not exactly pleased, more like graciously flattered but still resigned to sending her firmly back to her room. There was also the question of why. He was sure to enquire as to her reasoning for barging into his room at well past midnight and she wasn't entirely sure why herself, only that now she felt a compelling need to be close to him. She glanced almost instinctively towards her own door. She did not want to sleep with him, not in the more provocative sense anyway; she wouldn't know how. But maybe, just to curl up beside him, his arms wrapped around her and his face resting on her back, in her hair. She got out of bed and stood in considerable indecision.
Then there was the problem of getting caught to consider. If she was seen leaving Charles' room or even in the male servants' wing in the small hours of the morning, the consequences would be enormous. For a start the servants would no longer feel the need to respect the rules regarding male and female servants' quarters; potentially causing all kinds of sordid profligacy to ensue! Then there was the question of what would happen if her Ladyship ever came to hear about it- she and Charles would be out of a job for sure. This considered, it was sheer lunacy that she could still even be considering crossing the corridor to Charles' room. She sat down on her bed and put her slippers on.
It was obvious that he felt they were more than friends. He had once told her that the Crawley family were all he had, she had had no reason to disbelieve him then but now she knew it was not true, it couldn't be: they had each other, up to a point anyway. He was there every evening as they sat and discussed the day, he was there for support during most of her "negotiations" with Mrs Patmore, he was even there when she summoned Harry to her sitting room to make sure that he was managing with all of his chores and to ask him to write personally to his tiresome mother to assure her that his aunt was not mistreating him. On the latter of these occasions he tended to be more of a hindrance than a help as he had a tendency to fail to control his mirth when she got so aggravated with her sister. Her leg started to jiggle as it often did when she was frustrated or undecided. It had also come to her attention that he had been... well, what had he been? As housekeeper she officially disapproved of flirting, so surely it could not be that which had her in such a fluster every time they were alone together.
She was startled by a knock at her door.
Sorry it has taken me so long to update, I had a Biology mock this week. Thank you for all your lovely reviews, please keep reviewing!